Marriage issues between 2 Madhabs

[Najm]

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

Recently a brother has a proposal from a sister (obviously). During the talks, they realised that they were both from different madhabs, which they both strictly obeyed. (i.e. they can tell the differences?)

The brother wanted to know as a husband does the wife have to follow his madhab because his very insisting that she does so. Likewise the sister is insisting that he has to follow her madhab.

The brother is Hanifi, and perfers so because its the most "strictiest" and the sister perfers Maliki because Ibn Tammiyah (RadiAllahu Anhu) described it as the "soundest"


p.s. im a lay person, i aint got a clue!:-[

FiAmaaniAllah

 

[- Qatada -]

:salamext:


Akhi, ask them this; Did Allah allow a Muslim male to marry a Christian or Jewish woman? While knowing that there would be differences amongst them?


Also akhi, check this link;
http://islamtoday.com/show_quest_section.cfm?main_cat_id=16&sub_cat_id=149

 

[S_87]

she would be wrong to change her madhab just for him or him change just for her. There is nothing wrong with marrying someone of a different madhab-this shouldnt be a barrier as we are all muslims at the end of the day, however there are things to be considered like how the children will be raised?
and with madhab differences there can also be manhaj differences which can make way for bigggg issues especially if both are strong willed-like one considering an action or opinion the other having to be shirk or kufr.
so it depends on them, if they both accept and are willing to live with madhab differences then islamically there is absolutely nothing wrong with marrying- however they should both remember that before marriage they knew that their ways of doing things were different.

 

[convert]

Thats pretty jahil, honestly.

I am a muslim, not a hanafi/maliki/salafi(hanbali)/shafi/etc etc etc. Its stupid things like this that divide.

When the crusaders were coming into Sham the first time, the scholars were too busy arguing over whether or not a hanafi woman could marry a shafii man (all over a difference whether one says he/she has iman or not) rather than advising the people to protect themselves and their livelihood.

I would politely explain to them that as long as there is la ilaha ila-llah muhammadan rasul Allah, to move past it.

 

[Najm]

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

To be honest, there shouldn't really be a problem with madhab. Considering both madhabs are equally valid, he shouldn't be making such a big deal out of it. There is no such thing as Hanafi being more correct than Maliki. I don't believe any scholar would say such a thing.

They both agree that both opinion are valid and are totally respective of the imams.

:salamext:


Akhi, ask them this; Did Allah allow a Muslim male to marry a Christian or Jewish woman? While knowing that there would be differences amongst them?


Also akhi, check this link;
http://islamtoday.com/show_quest_section.cfm?main_cat_id=16&sub_cat_id=149

They are okay with the differences in personal terms. I.e when they are praying or fasting. Its when it comes to dealing with people/children/society. Great link!!!.

she would be wrong to change her madhab just for him or him change just for her. There is nothing wrong with marrying someone of a different madhab-this shouldnt be a barrier as we are all muslims at the end of the day, however there are things to be considered like how the children will be raised?
and with madhab differences there can also be manhaj differences which can make way for bigggg issues especially if both are strong willed-like one considering an action or opinion the other having to be shirk or kufr.
so it depends on them, if they both accept and are willing to live with madhab differences then islamically there is absolutely nothing wrong with marrying- however they should both remember that before marriage they knew that their ways of doing things were different.

Yeah ukhti.....they dont feel its wrong to marry a different madhab, but the issue is what you say: the kids; Does the kids follow the way of the father or the mother? And the thing ive been told is that, both are not lay people, as in they do understand the differences, so its bigger than i see it.

Thats pretty jahil, honestly.

I am a muslim, not a hanafi/maliki/salafi(hanbali)/shafi/etc etc etc. Its stupid things like this that divide.

When the crusaders were coming into Sham the first time, the scholars were too busy arguing over whether or not a hanafi woman could marry a shafii man (all over a difference whether one says he/she has iman or not) rather than advising the people to protect themselves and their livelihood.

I would politely explain to them that as long as there is la ilaha ila-llah muhammadan rasul Allah, to move past it.

Akhi do you have have a link for that story? :-[

Yeahs what i said " you are muslims, you are both right, no need to divide for stupidity!"


From the rights of the husband/wife/children point of view, does the wife/children have to obey the husband since he has the "final" say?

JazakAllah Firdoos for all replies

FiAmaaniAllah

 

[S_87]

Yeah ukhti.....they dont feel its wrong to marry a different madhab, but the issue is what you say: the kids; Does the kids follow the way of the father or the mother? And the thing ive been told is that, both are not lay people, as in they do understand the differences, so its bigger than i see it.

That is something they would have to sit and discuss and remember that teaching the kids the madhab differences from a young age (like mum prays salah like this but in my madhab its like this etc) will only confuse them.

 

[nebula]

Thats pretty jahil, honestly.

I am a muslim, not a hanafi/maliki/salafi(hanbali)/shafi/etc etc etc. Its stupid things like this that divide.

so true akhi!, if you were to ask the sahaba's or the Prophet pbuh what madhab they followed what do you think they would have said? hmm

MUSLIM! no hanafi or blah blah lol, im not disrespectng these madhabs, the imams were very knowledgeable ofc

 

[Banu_Hashim]

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

Recently a brother has a proposal from a sister (obviously).

lol, obviously.

Bro, the madhab thing should not be a problem at all. At the end of the day, I'm echoing the same thing as everyone; we're classified as Muslims, as one ummah of Muhammad (SAWS). On the day of judgement we'll be raised as one ummah, not as shafi's, or hanafis or malikis or hanbalis.

Tell them to keep that in mind, and not to break a potentially good marriage over such a silly matter :skeleton:.

 

[Najm]

lol, obviously.

Bro, the madhab thing should not be a problem at all. At the end of the day, I'm echoing the same thing as everyone; we're classified as Muslims, as one ummah of Muhammad (SAWS). On the day of judgement we'll be raised as one ummah, not as shafi's, or hanafis or malikis or hanbalis.

Tell them to keep that in mind, and not to break a potentially good marriage over such a silly matter :skeleton:.

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

I agree with you akhi!! All mabhabs are vaild, so they both agree.

But the brother said if thats the case( i.e all valid), and if there is little differences(between madhabs) then "why doesnt she (the sister, obviously) become a hanifi???".... cos then the problem would be solved.

And does the children follow the father or mother or both?

FiAmaaniAllah

 

[convert]

Pose to him the question: why is he not a Maliki? If there comes proof that proves the Hanafi ruiling incorrect, which position will he take?

 

[Sampharo]

I think they both should look at the fact that such blind and devoted following of math-habs in itself is wrong, and divides the religion of God. Malik himself said: "Every man's words can be taken or left part or whole except for this man" and he pointed at the prophet's grave in Madina. Why would they then violate what Malik himself said and stick strictly to EVERYTHING he or Abu Hanifa said?

In general though, Children follow the father's religion (if a father marries a christian or jew or sectarian), so I don't understand why they can't apply this to their situation.

God bless the marriage, (though it's not looking promising if they are disagreeing on THAT )

 

[Zafran]

I think they both should look at the fact that such blind and devoted following of math-habs in itself is wrong, and divides the religion of God. Malik himself said: "Every man's words can be taken or left part or whole except for this man" and he pointed at the prophet's grave in Madina. Why would they then violate what Malik himself said and stick strictly to EVERYTHING he or Abu Hanifa said?

Pose to him the question: why is he not a Maliki? If there comes proof that proves the Hanafi ruiling incorrect, which position will he take?

The schools of thought are Fiqh schools and all have there prooofs - furthermore i dont think the laymen can decide which one is better especially if he is ignorant of the methodlogy of the school? which most of us are.

This realy shouldnt interfere with the marriage.

 

[Sampharo]

The schools of thought are Fiqh schools and all have there prooofs - furthermore i dont think the laymen can decide which one is better especially if he is ignorant of the methodlogy of the school? which most of us are.

I wasn't arguing for or against any one school, I was merely saying that aside from that it shouldn't affect the marriage, it also shouldn't be part of one's religious "title" like that. It is divisive, and the Imams never intended it to be that way. I am studying their methodology and schools of thought, and the four Imams actually changed many of their major opinions throughout their lives and therefore no single school can be exclusively correct. I am just thinking (and you agree apparently) that people shouldn't build or wreck their marriages based on this.

 

[Zafran]

I wasn't arguing for or against any one school, I was merely saying that aside from that it shouldn't affect the marriage, it also shouldn't be part of one's religious "title" like that. It is divisive, and the Imams never intended it to be that way. I am studying their methodology and schools of thought, and the four Imams actually changed many of their major opinions throughout their lives and therefore no single school can be exclusively correct. I am just thinking (and you agree apparently) that people shouldn't build or wreck their marriages based on this.

Salaam

Yes I agree with the bold - are you studying the methodogies of all schools of thought? - do you mean seriously like under a shiek?

 

[Sampharo]

Well, yes, under a few Sheikhs actually. I have been studying a long time under local sheikhs and later applied for a long distance degree with an Islamic University, and will spend the last year there to get my Masters Insha Allah. let's not take away from the thread topic though. I think Brother Najm you can use these opinions with your friends, that math-habs shouldn't divide them, one shouldn't try to "change" the other (in my opinion they both should be less commited to their respective math-habs), and when the children come as usual they follow the father's way.

 

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:wasalamex

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

Recently a brother has a proposal from a sister (obviously). During the talks, they realised that they were both from different madhabs, which they both strictly obeyed. (i.e. they can tell the differences?)

The brother wanted to know as a husband does the wife have to follow his madhab because his very insisting that she does so. Likewise the sister is insisting that he has to follow her madhab.

The brother is Hanifi, and perfers so because its the most "strictiest" and the sister perfers Maliki because Ibn Tammiyah (RadiAllahu Anhu) described it as the "soundest"

FiAmaaniAllah

the way i see it is that they are both muslims and they shouldn't let this issue get to them...they should give and take and compromise just like anything else you would do in a marriage!
having said that though, If its that much of a huge deal to them both and they both feel passionate about their specific mathhab to the extent that they aren’t willing to change and/or that it has potential to cause problems for them later on, then maybe they should just look for someone to marry within their own mathhab...

But the brother said if thats the case( i.e all valid), and if there is little differences(between madhabs) then "why doesnt she (the sister, obviously) become a hanifi???".... cos then the problem would be solved

well that just goes right back at him :-/ why cant he change his mathhab?

And does the children follow the father or mother or both?

Why cant the kids choose their own mathhab?

 

[Dawud_uk]

we have enough differences to resolve in issues involving aqeedah and manhaj without having to worry about fiqh also.

to be honest, if these people take their madhabs this seriously then it will cause problems for them, but this is their own fault as none of the four great imams or their students behaved this way.

 

[Najm]

:wasalamex


the way i see it is that they are both muslims and they shouldn't let this issue get to them...they should give and take and compromise just like anything else you would do in a marriage!
having said that though, If its that much of a huge deal to them both and they both feel passionate about their specific mathhab to the extent that they aren’t willing to change and/or that it has potential to cause problems for them later on, then maybe they should just look for someone to marry within their own mathhab...



well that just goes right back at him :-/ why cant he change his mathhab?


Why cant the kids choose their own mathhab?

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

Well the brother said, if it came down to choosing between the 2 rulings from the madhabs, he would choose the one that is "stricter" And he gave the example of the salah in hanifi where wajib prayer cant be left or it will be a sin, while in maliki it wouldnbt matter so he would "choose" hanifi. etc etc etc.

But he would expect the sister to choose the stricter one as well. And he said it doesnt matter which madhab they are, but he expects the both of them to choose the "stricter" ruling.

He really believes that hanifi madhab is the strongest overall, and he has reseached enough to notice the difference.

Regarding the kids, he doesnt want them to be confused, and taught different rulings for the same action etc etc.

FiAmaaniAllah

 

[Najm]

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

Pose to him the question: why is he not a Maliki? If there comes proof that proves the Hanafi ruiling incorrect, which position will he take?

He would be happy to take the "stricter" ruling!

The schools of thought are Fiqh schools and all have there prooofs - furthermore i dont think the laymen can decide which one is better especially if he is ignorant of the methodlogy of the school? which most of us are.

This realy shouldnt interfere with the marriage.

Well he is saying basically his not a layperson lol and interferes with marriage because of teaching the kids!

Wa alaykum salam warahmatullahi wabarakatuh,

If he accepts that both madhabs are valid and correct, yet he still insists on her become hanafi, then he's only being arrogant. There is no such need for her to change. It's simple, she follows her madhab, he follows his and so do the kids. They're making such a big deal out of something that's so small an issue.

Again, its a "big" issue for him because he is able to notice "bigger" differences than the lay people!!! And because he "believes" with the hanifi madhab a person is "more" likely to become sinful than in a maliki mabhad for the same actions. etc etc

we have enough differences to resolve in issues involving aqeedah and manhaj without having to worry about fiqh also.

to be honest, if these people take their madhabs this seriously then it will cause problems for them, but this is their own fault as none of the four great imams or their students behaved this way.

Yeah i agree with you akhi. But i must say i dont know enough about the mabhabs to really know like he seems to know.:blind: Maybe we are missing a bit point?

And the big issue with the kids dont seem to go away!!

FiAmaaniAllah

 

[Najm]

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

Would be grateful for more advise.:-[

:bump1:

FiAmaaniAllah