Marriage Problem!

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ameen insha'Allah.. I am very happy for your choice.. may Allah swt grant you both happiness and make you steadfast on the path of the righteous ..

:w:
 
Ameen. At the end of the day, it is your decision. Just be careful. All the best bro.
 
Bilalus said:
everyone, JZK for all of your comments, but before I continue, i think i need to clarify exactly where she stands with her religion.

Although she is shia, she is not a sohaba slanderer, and disagrees with many shia beliefs herself. At the point she is in, she either does not belief in some of their own practices, or she has not done enough research into things for her to come to a conclusion yet. So alhamdulillah she is someone who does research for herself rather than blindly following. That is why I want to give her a chance as I know through religious talks we can reach a common ground where it will not affect the upbringing of my future children inshallah.

And as for the "diffrent cultural ways of thinking" as someone stated previously, i am from a mixed background myself, and i have reached the conclusion that sticking strong to culture has distorted Islam itself. Although culture is not a bad thing, but islam always comes first and that is something many people forget. I am not coming forward and proposing to bring merge my culture with hers, but I am coming forward to propose to a family because I believe that me and her will prosper islamically in the marriage.
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i had a shia friend who i had worked with for two years. he said the same thing to me but he was still firm on his belief even though he kept quite about it. there beliefs are instilled in them and they are very much in doubt about the sunni belief. she is only saying that because obviously she wants to marry you. she could show her true colors after marriage. you see no shia girl wants to marry shia guy because they do temporary marriage to the girls then leave them even they have permission to leave whether they have kids for that woman or not.
if she is so in doubt about shia belief then why dont she leave it? if it dose not make sense. do you know what they say about aisha ra? what if after marriage you two have a fight about religion. it sounds like she is sweetening you up telling you everything you want to hear! then tell her to meet up with some sunni sisters. tell her to learn about sunni islam before marrying her. the evidence and prove is there. if she is so in doubt about shia belief.
also there is different sects even in shia.. you probably dont even know half of the crazy things they believe. may Allah guide them all.
 
cat eyes said:
i had a shia friend who i had worked with for two years. he said the same thing to me but he was still firm on his belief even though he kept quite about it. there beliefs are instilled in them and they are very much in doubt about the sunni belief. she is only saying that because obviously she wants to marry you. she could show her true colors after marriage. you see no shia girl wants to marry shia guy because they do temporary marriage to the girls then leave them even they have permission to leave whether they have kids for that woman or not.
if she is so in doubt about shia belief then why dont she leave it? if it dose not make sense. do you know what they say about aisha ra? what if after marriage you two have a fight about religion. it sounds like she is sweetening you up telling you everything you want to hear! then tell her to meet up with some sunni sisters. tell her to learn about sunni islam before marrying her. the evidence and prove is there. if she is so in doubt about shia belief.
also there is different sects even in shia.. you probably dont even know half of the crazy things they believe. may Allah guide them all.
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well for one definitely i will not consider her if her beliefs do not coincide with mine, and that is sumthing we are discussing, and he already has sunni sisters that are discussing with her and giving her dawah and it is going successfully so far alhamdulillah.

And trust me because of this i have become quite well versed in shia islam, i know some of these things!
 
An33za said:
Some Shias prefer Hazrat Ali (r.a) on Prophet Muhammad:arabic5:! :raging:

But if you think you can turn her towards the "Right Way" then go for it.
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I just wanted to address a couple of issues in your post, i hope you don't mind. I think i might be one of the only shia's on this forum. But I still feel it is important for me to speak my mind.

The idea that some shia's prefer Hazrate Ali (Sa) on prophet muhammad (P.B.U.H) is simply untrue. We recognise Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) as our true prophet of Islam, JUST AS SUNNIS DO. THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE THERE. WE UNDERSTAND, RECOGNISE, BELIEVE AND RESPECT ALL OF PROPHET MUHAMMAD'S MESSAGES THAT HE BROUGHT TO ISLAM. The only difference is after that, where Shias believe that hazrate Ali (ra) continues the line and message of Islam, whereas Sunni's believe the responsibliity was given to Omar (i think... i may be wrong). I just thought it was important to point this out to you.

Secondly, I think it is unfair to call Sunnism ''the right way''. If you love this girl, then you respect her enough to respect her beliefs, and calling it ''the right way'' is disrespectful to her and the millions of shia muslims in the world. I, personally, do not think it is important. I think we are all Muslims, and therefore all muslim brothers and sisters. We all believe that the prophet muhammad (pbuh) was sent from Allah, with his message. And I think we, as muslims, face enough opposition from other faiths/races/nationalities than to start arguments with each other.

Therefore, I do not think the problem of sunni/shia should come between your marriage.My (shia) uncle married a sunni woman, and there was no problem there. I think it is important, however, for you to NOT try to change the girl's beliefs. Firstly, this will not gain you any advantage with her mother, who will like you much less for it.

Secondly, with regards to children, I think you should come to the agreement with (potentially, if allah wishes it so) the mother of your children: that you do not tell them ''THIS IS THE CORRECT WAY'', but that together, you teach them the fundaments of Islam. That is, everything that the prophet muhammad teaches ALL Muslims. Then, when the children are slightly older, you BOTH teach them about the sunni beliefs, and about the shia beliefs. Let your children have both perspectives. Let them do their own research. Guide them, but DO NOT force them to be sunni or force them to be shia. In this way, i think your relationship and children's future could work just fine.
 
He doesn't have to do any of the above, shia's have deviant beliefs, they have been thoroughly refuted. So he should try his best to guide her to the right path, In islam we are told to seek the truth and spread it even if it can ruin family relationships, I don't he'll care if his mother in law will like him 'much less'. Again same with children he has to bring them upon islam not shia'ism where they could potentially become kaffirs.
 
aadil77 said:
He doesn't have to do any of the above, shia's have deviant beliefs, they have been thoroughly refuted. So he should try his best to guide her to the right path, In islam we are told to seek the truth and spread it even if it can ruin family relationships, I don't he'll care if his mother in law will like him 'much less'. Again same with children he has to bring them upon islam not shia'ism where they could potentially become kaffirs.
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All your post does is display your ignorance. Shias are muslims. We believe in the prophet muhammad (pbuh) and unlike Sunni's, we do not have confused beliefs: Sunni's consider Imam Ali (sallalahowaallayha) a khalifa, yet they also consider the man that caused his death a khalifa. To me, that's a little bit confused.
 
daei_the_king said:
All your post does is display your ignorance. Shias are muslims. We believe in the prophet muhammad (pbuh) and unlike Sunni's, we do not have confused beliefs: Sunni's consider Imam Ali (sallalahowaallayha) a khalifa, yet they also consider the man that caused his death a khalifa. To me, that's a little bit confused.
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I didn't say shia's aren't muslims, but shia rafidah's aren't muslim. I'd love to expose shia beliefs but its against forum rules to discuss sectarian issues
 
My shiaa brother,
:sl:
With regards to children, if we present them with authentic Islamic Knowledge there is no doubt they will become amongst the Ahlus Sunnah wal Jama'ah. There is some very troubling aspects within the core shiaa belief which are signs of a corrupted aqeedah. As Br. aadil reminded me, it is against the forum rules to discuss sectarian issues, so I will not go into details.

May Allah guide us all!

Fee Amaanillah.
 
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daei_the_king said:
All your post does is display your ignorance. Shias are muslims. We believe in the prophet muhammad (pbuh) and unlike Sunni's, we do not have confused beliefs: Sunni's consider Imam Ali (sallalahowaallayha) a khalifa, yet they also consider the man that caused his death a khalifa. To me, that's a little bit confused.
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apologies brother if you were hurt by the comments posted

btw welcome to the forum :)
 
lol I can see this turning into a sunni/shia debate! and ive met people who have said "i knw someone who married a shia and it was fine". But that is rare, and i asked the person, "were they religious?" and they said no.

the importance of being with someone who shares the same mindset islamically is essential. If she believes what i believe sincerely, then the mother will dislike the both of us not just me. Its not about blindly loving someone and accepting any islamic belief, but loving someone through islam. Love disappears when a person dies, but islam is carried onto the next life, lets just hope we are carried to Jannah inshallah! Because even though sunnis and shia are all muslims, there are some differences which have to be addressed before marriage. Such as intercession, infalillibilty of the ahlul bayt, prayer (and im not talking about praying with the hands by the sides) and other things. In these topics, if we do not believe the same thing, it wil make it VERY difficult in raising children and i do not want my house to be a dawah battlefield. So if these things cannot be ironed out before marriage then the marriage simply wont happen. If it does, then hopefully the mum will change her heart and accept inter-racial marriages lol
 
Well, its your decision in the end. if you think you can make it work it out, good for you. In the end its your responsibility and your act and no soul shall carry the burden of the other.

best of luck.

w salam
 
daei_the_king said:
I just wanted to address a couple of issues in your post, i hope you don't mind. I think i might be one of the only shia's on this forum. But I still feel it is important for me to speak my mind.

The idea that some shia's prefer Hazrate Ali (Sa) on prophet muhammad (P.B.U.H) is simply untrue. We recognise Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) as our true prophet of Islam, JUST AS SUNNIS DO. THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE THERE. WE UNDERSTAND, RECOGNISE, BELIEVE AND RESPECT ALL OF PROPHET MUHAMMAD'S MESSAGES THAT HE BROUGHT TO ISLAM. The only difference is after that, where Shias believe that hazrate Ali (ra) continues the line and message of Islam, whereas Sunni's believe the responsibliity was given to Omar (i think... i may be wrong). I just thought it was important to point this out to you.
.
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Peace be upon those who follow guidance:

Shiites are divided amongst themselves so they run the gamut from those closest to sunnis I have met a few Lebanese who fall into that category to complete nutters almost exalting Ali (RA) to God-like status.. it doesn't matter in the scheme of things who says what on the forum that you consider untrue since a shia by its very definition means a faction, and factions are innovations and innovations are in hell. The Quran itself warns against factions and asks us to follow the tradition of the prophet. So if you are reading the same book as the rest of us, that should have been your conclusion as well...This has nothing to do with who should have been granted what since it isn't merely political but ritualistic as well. And I have seen how shiites pray and I have seen what they do during pilgrimage so there is no denying their beliefs are erroneous .. it isn't like the Quran and Sunnah are so poorly preserved for folks to decide on their own path...

perhaps you feel defensive about your beliefs being outnumbered here or whatever I don't think that is very constructive.. I think it is better to evaluate why it is that others view your beliefs as erroneous at least so you are able to defend them better!

all the best
 
mad_scientist said:
Well, its your decision in the end. if you think you can make it work it out, good for you. In the end its your responsibility and your act and no soul shall carry the burden of the other.

best of luck.

w salam
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i know it is my decision, and i honestly believe that the mum is the only barrier, that is why i asked people on this forum to help me piece together information so when i do meet her i can convince her by presenting hadith and Qur'anic ayat showing that disciminating against me because i am not iraqi is unislamic behaviour
 
Bilalus said:
i know it is my decision, and i honestly believe that the mum is the only barrier, that is why i asked people on this forum to help me piece together information so when i do meet her i can convince her by presenting hadith and Qur'anic ayat showing that disciminating against me because i am not iraqi is unislamic behaviour
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I doubt she'll care as a Shiite that what is Islamic and what is not. May you tell me that how did she discriminate against you? Telling one's daughter not to marry a man from other race is not discrimination per se. Discrimination is when someone's right is stolen from them based on superficial factors such as race. And I dont think marrying a certain person can be other person's right. Just wanted to correct that.
 
but wouldnt you count this as removing her her daughters right to marry someone solely based on their deen which is the way it is supposed to be instead of placing nationality as the most important thing?
 
Bilalus said:
but wouldnt you count this as removing her her daughters right to marry someone solely based on their deen which is the way it is supposed to be instead of placing nationality as the most important thing?
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That is between her daughter and herself. Her mother has no right to stop the daughter from marrying someone. BUt i was talking in regards to the issue between you and her mom.
 
mm true, telling a daughter not to marry a man from another race may not fully qualify as discrimination, but turning someone down just because of their nationality alone can count as discrimination no? Preference is one thing, but having nationality as THE deciding factor seems a bit wrong doesnt it?
 
Bilalus said:
mm true, telling a daughter not to marry a man from another race may not fully qualify as discrimination, but turning someone down just because of their nationality alone can count as discrimination no? Preference is one thing, but having nationality as THE deciding factor seems a bit wrong doesnt it?
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Its wrong and Allah wont like it. But from secular perspective, I dont see any wrong. And since she's Shiite I doubt she cares what Allah likes or not.
 
lol Why do I feel that this forum is rather filled with "salafi". I've been through this forum and most of the posts seem to be a bit biased with the perspective of the "only best muslims are salafi". It's quiet upsetting.

No I am not shia. My advise is this brother. Shia DO have some weird beliefs. I don't recommend you consider her for marriage until she is firm on the belief of how islam is! Note: I did not say sunni is "right way" because most of the sects and things said in Sunni itself is contradictory. The real Islam does not say anything bad about the prophets, there wives pbuh, and the khalaifs. There is one shaddha , one Qur'an, and ahadith. Thats the islam that should be followed.

So .. until you know for sure she believes in the proper islamic believes and its traditions without having you to influence her don't consider her for marriage. As cat_eyes said, let her be with non-shia sisters, and see how it goes. Be patient brother inshallah! Don't rush, marriage is a serious matter :). And as for her mother, she'll eventually given in but important issue is the belief you two have. Fix that first or rather resolve it :)!

May allah guide you and her inshallah ameen!
 

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