Marriage question

AnonymousPoster

AnonymousPoster

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Can you go through with a marriage if you found out that the person you are supposed to marry didn't want to marry you in the first place? They are only doing so because his/her parents are pushing them to go through with it.

Would you go through with it if you found this out? If so, why?
 
If so? why?

I DON'T AGREE WITH THAT

What if that had been you, would you like to go through that?

Forget that, would you like your future partner, whom you should dearly love for eternity, to go through that?

Please don't put anyone through this,

Forced marriages are haraam, period.

:thumbs_up
 
What if the girl says that she was indifferent at first. It was her parents that said yes not her, but know she wants to get married. Would that change anything? Would it still be haram?
 
no i probably wouldnt because although they have 'agreed' from what youre saying their heart really isnt in it?
 
The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A previously-married woman should not be married without being consulted, and a virgin should not be married without asking her permission.” They said, “O Messenger of Allaah, how is her permission given?” He said, “By her silence.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 6455)

So if she said No, it's a no. Her silence is a yes.

‘Aa’ishah reported that a girl came to her and said, “My father married me to his brother’s son in order to raise his social standing, and I did not want this marriage [I was forced into it].” ‘Aa’ishah said, “Sit here until the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) comes. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came and she told him about the girl. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) sent for her father, then he gave the girl the choice of what to do. She said, “O Messenger of Allaah, I have accepted what my father did, but I wanted to prove something to other women.” (Reported by al-Nisaa’i, 3217)

You need the permission of both her and the wali in order for it to be halal.
 
AnonymousGender said:
Can you go through with a marriage if you found out that the person you are supposed to marry didn't want to marry you in the first place? They are only doing so because his/her parents are pushing them to go through with it.

Would you go through with it if you found this out? If so, why?
Click to expand...

:sl:
no i would never go through with such a marriage, how do you know what level of force or pressure was used?

going through such a marriage where the girl is forced through violence and threat of violence to marry is akin to rape in my opinion.

:sl:
 
:salamext:

That's horrible. Even from your perspective, why would you want to marry someone who never even wanted you? That's likely to lead to either divorce, or a life of misery for you both. Not to mention an unstable home for future children.
 
Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem,

As-Salaamu 'Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh,

Marriage is beautiful! Protects the Muslim and causes peace and tranquility, or at least should do.

As for your question, it depends.

It depends on many factors, such as:

Why are they refusing?
Do they know me and dislike me?
What type of person are they?​

The reason such factors are important is that sometimes people do not want to marry, because they have a western concept of "I have to love him/her first ... etc" but when they marry then they realise the meaning of true love, and start to grow towards each other.

Another reason could be that maybe the girl would not want to marry me because she assumes that I am not good enough, because her parents found me and she does not know me, so it really depends.

If she was stubborn and childish then it would be very hard to go through with it. Or if she genuinly disliked me then I definetly would not, since it would only bring about bed in most circumstances.

However, in any case I would seek the guidance of those around me from the knowledgeable people.

Br.al-Habeshi
 
:sl:

Best reply on thread, masha'Allaah.

Al Habeshi said:
Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem,

As-Salaamu 'Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh,

Marriage is beautiful! Protects the Muslim and causes peace and tranquility, or at least should do.

As for your question, it depends.

It depends on many factors, such as:

Why are they refusing?
Do they know me and dislike me?
What type of person are they?​

The reason such factors are important is that sometimes people do not want to marry, because they have a western concept of "I have to love him/her first ... etc" but when they marry then they realise the meaning of true love, and start to grow towards each other.

Another reason could be that maybe the girl would not want to marry me because she assumes that I am not good enough, because her parents found me and she does not know me, so it really depends.

If she was stubborn and childish then it would be very hard to go through with it. Or if she genuinly disliked me then I definetly would not, since it would only bring about bed in most circumstances.

However, in any case I would seek the guidance of those around me from the knowledgeable people.

Br.al-Habeshi
Click to expand...
 
:sl: No ................... from experience. No. It will only end up causing pain and hurt to those involved. Not just the girl/boy but the extended families also....... No.:w::)
 
no i dont advice you to go on with this marriage it will just cause pain to you and your surrounder so nooooooooooo
 
AnonymousGender said:
Can you go through with a marriage if you found out that the person you are supposed to marry didn't want to marry you in the first place? They are only doing so because his/her parents are pushing them to go through with it.

Would you go through with it if you found this out? If so, why?
Click to expand...

A definite NO
 
Just to clarify something, her parents gave her the option to break off the engagment if she wanted to. Her sisters did the same thing. They were engaged a few times. Each time they didn't like the guy they broke off the engagement. So I don't believe her parents are standing over her making her go through with this but you can never be 100% sure. But they are the ones that wanted this marriage in the first place; not her.

Also, she says that she didn't know me then but know she is in love. Again you can never be 100% sure here but I do believe she feels that way as do I.

The question I am struggling over is that I know that she is not the one that said yes. Can I trust her love to always be genuine? I am not sure here. I fear that there may always be doubt in her mind cause she is not the one who said yes. There are many times when she is upset that she says things like that. Just yesterday she said that she does not get anything she wants in life. Only things she doesn't want happen to her. She said this while we were talking about our wedding plans. I asked her what she ment but she didn't explain much.

I always fear that she is struggling with her feelings just like I am now.
 
i'd ask the person if they have anyone in mind

if not then i'd ask if they like me at all

if positive then i'd go for it

i wouldnt marry someone whos marrying me hesitantly, or begrudgingly

thats for fure
 
Ask her if she wants to marry you. (she, not her parents or family or whatever)
If her answer is yes, tell her to explain.
If her answer is no, tell her to explain.

Then mull over her answers and make a decision.
 

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