Marriage questions need help.

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adnanahmmad

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Asslam O Alikum,

I am from Pakistan and I recently got married. Nikkah has been done and soon rukhsati is going to be soon. I have few questions


1- At the time of Nikkah is it necessary for girl to say (Aejabo Qabool) verbaly or not. Or is it enough to sign the Nikkah form in the presense of her wakeel.

2- If the nikkah cermony completed verbaly , and there is some thing wrong filled in the Nikkah form, will that nikkah form can be corrected later and Will that nikah be considered valid.

3- How many Gawah's are required at the time of nikkah cermoney.. 2 or 2 from each side.

4- What Islaam or shriya says about the regional customs at the occassion of marragies. and how far it permits the experessions of happiness through Band, Music, Lighting and Video pictures etc.

5- Is there any superiority to do nikkah in mousque with reference to hadeeth.

Regards.
Adnan

Sory for my poor engilsh.
 
:sl:

*Thread Approved*

Your English is good mashaAllah. :thumbs_up

1. If she was not previously married, consent is not required as silence is consent in her case due to her shyness and bashfulness. A written consent is perfectly okay.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No previously-married woman (widow or divorcee) may be married until she has been asked about her wishes (i.e., she should state clearly her wishes), and no virgin should be married until her permission has been asked (i.e., until she has agreed either in words or by remaining silent).” They asked, “O Messenger of Allaah, how is her permission given (because she will feel very shy)?” He said: “By her silence.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 4741)

2. I don't get what was completed wrong? Did the Imaam make a mistake, and wasn't it noticed right there when he made the mistake? Anyways, both families go together to imaam to point out his error, and I'm sure it's fixable and if it's not he'll explain why.

3. Gawahs are witnesses I'm guessing, right? If so, then:
The marriage contract must be witnessed, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no marriage contract except with a walee and two witnesses.” (Reported by al-Tabaraani; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 7558)

4. Shariah allows culture, as long as the culture does not conflict with the Shariah. Music is clearly haraam, and therefore would not be allowed, but if the songs do not contain background instruments or only the daaf, then that is okay. I haven't been to Pakistani wedding where there isn't videoing, but I see it as more harm than good. I understand wanting to hold onto to memories, but if women who are ghair mahram will be videoed, that violates their modesty and is totally wrong.
 
Very good post mashaAllah Jawharah sis.

I'd like to add something about the dangers of filming weddings and other mixed occassions (Pakistan). Some movie-makers have sold videos or have themselves superimposed womens' faces on pornographic images and used the material to blackmail them. SubhanAllah, when you see the ways in which trust is abused, you realise why Islam teaches us to do things is a certain way and why it prohibits certains things.

MashaAllah, it is good that you asked this question brother.
 
:sl:

^ Oh, yeah, I forgot about that, but I did hear of that a while back! It's happening here in Cali too at Indian / Pakistani weddings, not to that level yet, but still it can get there which is scary.

Btw, mabrook on your wedding brother, and my duas are with you and your bride that you'll share many, many happy years together.
 
^^

what if its just a simple wedding..like dinner..no dance etc...is it wrong to video?
 
wa'alaikum as'salaam,

Mubarak on your wedding brother.

The sister answer all your questions, so just like to add a bit to that inshallah.

For gawah (witness), only two is necessary. There is no such thing as 2 from girl side and 2 from boy side.

Music, band, mixed gathering, etc are all haraam and not allowed. A daff (one sided drum) is allowed on weddings, and that too is mostly for the women and kids to enjoy. Lot of desi weddings have a lot of haraam in it. It's important to avoid this haraam if one wishes blessing from Allah in their marriage.

Lot of this haraam is based on hindu culture and has no basis in Islam, for example:

1. dhood paliyee where the sister in laws give the groom milk to drink and then ask for compensation.

2. jhoote chupaney, where the sister in laws hide the groom's shoes and ask for compensation to return them.

3. breaking of some fruit at the door before letting the groom into her new home - totally hindu custom

4. throwing rice over the couple among other stuff for well wishing, also hindu custom

5. drowery from woman side, this a hindu custom where they force the girl side to give dowery to the man side. There is no basis for such a thing in Islam and we have the hardship it places on the girl side, even to point of taking the whole family in debt for years.

As for video tapes and pictures. There's a difference of opinion on permissibility of photography but majory do say that it is haraam and best to stay way from. As for video making, i would not recommend such a thing unless the person making the video is your own family member and not some professional video company. Too much fitnah has come about in the asia from videos and photography, and it has ruined many girl's reputation and lives because of the evil men in the society.

and lastly, you can visit the following site inshallah to read up on everything related to marriage and islam

http://zawaj.com/articles.html
 
^ Jazakallah khair.

sevgi said:
^^

what if its just a simple wedding..like dinner..no dance etc...is it wrong to video?
Click to expand...
I didn't take that into consideration, cuz I'm not particularly used to Indian / Pakistani's doin it simple. Hehe. But wouldn't there still be women who are ghair mahram to the groom being videoed? So if he watches the video, that's still a violation of their modesty... If it's completely safe and it can be guaranteed that video won't be seen by anybody ghair mahram, then I could see that being okay. Allahu 'alam.
 
Musical instruments are not allowed. The daff is the only exception. I know Sheikh Yusuf Qaradawi issued a differing fatwa, but as far as I'm aware the majority of Sunni ulama agree that it is haraam...
 
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alcurad said:
no sister, music is not clearly haraam. it is allowed, especially in occasions such as marriage,

http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/...h-Ask_Scholar/FatwaE/FatwaE&cid=1119503544202
Click to expand...

That is one shady fatwa!

This guy doesn't even know what he's talking about. He starts off about Musical instruments but talks about permissibility of singing only. There is no mention of musical instruments in his talk. In his "Conclusion on Permissibility of Musical Instruments" again he talks only about the permissibility of singing and doesn't even mention one word about Musical Instruments. What kind of an answer is that, it seems misleading.

Now lets look at this fatwa instead :)

Ruling on music, singing and dancing.
 
I'd say Al Qardawi is a tad bit more knowledgeable than you are, brother islamirama:)
الغناء I believe is the term that has caused the confusion, the article is actually an attempt at translation from the original which is in Arabic.

but ok, here's a more detailed one:
http://www.islamheart.com/books/music.zip

unfortunately I only found it in arabic.
I'll look for english one's but there seem to be so few of them...
 
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yes people only listen to islamirama because education from internet is far better than people wasting their life spending time studying under real ulemaa and attending Islaamic schools (when they could have just googled it). what a wasteful bunch they are:mmokay::giggling:

in any case I did not hear the "shady" shaikh say that we should arrange disco parties or behave like Hindus.

there are historical reasons, as well as lack of resources and education, for people in Pakistan having Hindu customs.

there are extremes which are dominating at present, one extreme declares everything haraam based on ignorance while the other does not get the opportunity to learn for they are far to concerned with their day to day survival and make do with what they inherited from their ancestors who were dominated by the hindu culture
 
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:sl:

As much as I'm sure you'll would love a debate on the permissibility of music, it's been done before, so please do a search to save this thread from falling off topic! Jazakallah khair brothers.
 
Jawharah said:
:sl:

As much as I'm sure you'll would love a debate on the permissibility of music, it's been done before, so please do a search to save this thread from falling off topic! Jazakallah khair brothers.
Click to expand...
wa alaikum salam
keep the googler from insulting Muslim teachers and I'll stay out of the thread.

allow him to post his rubbish comments and I'll respond until I'm banned

:w:

http://www.islamawareness.net/Music/music_fatwa005.html
http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/...h-Ask_Scholar/FatwaE/FatwaE&cid=1119503545728

^^ these 2 answers ar by Sheikh Muhammad Al-Hanooti

Born: March 12, 1937 in Haifa, Palestine

Education: Learned Shari’a from his father, Sheikh Ali Hanouti, and in Al-Azhar he studied Hadith from Sheikh Muhammad Said Azzawi from 1953-1958.

Previous Positions: Was an imam, teacher and khatib in Baghdad from 1962-1965. Was an imam, teacher and khatib in Kuwait from 1965-1978. He has served as the head of various Islamic centers in the United States since 1978, including Jersey City, NJ, and Dar Al-Hijra, in Virginia. He is a member of the North American Fiqh Council.

Current Position: Mufti and Fiqh Scholar @ IslamOnline.net
 
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^ thanks brother doorster, but perhaps he didn't realize who wrote the article? not that I'm implying names should be enough to declare something haraam or halal but still...
 

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