Marriage, the lost halal?

[victoris7]

In this discussion I would like to talk about Muslims in the United States especially the youth. I am 20 years old man living in the United States and I experienced a lot of cultural changes since I moved here. Arabic people are a mutable race as it seems, all the girls I know in my age range do not pride themselves of marrying a Muslim Arab.

I spoke to many girls my sister included and all of them said that they prefer a white American guy over an Arab Muslim. Think about all the trouble of converting someone who doesn't know anything about your religion then living with him...A lot of conflicts will arise. That left me startling yet to investigate more.

From what I've been told by the girls, Muslim Arabs are uptight ideologically and won't give them the freedom and equality the Americans pride themselves with. The guy will just lock them in the house and let them do nothing and be just housewives. They dont want that, they want to go out and put their make up on dress according to Jeniffer Lopez's style and be such a tease to everybody. Do we live in the dark ages? Men and Women today have to work and both genders have the same rights in the U.S... If I didnt have to work in the U.S. i will be more than happy to have all the freetime for my hobbies and be a couch potato...It seems as if I and many Arab Muslims stand no chance in front of a tall blue eyed blond guy riding a white horse. All the girls i talked with about this issue favor looks over religion and when I asked them to chose between a white American (none Muslim) or an Arab Muslim and the answer was chocking. They dont wnat to answer and their answers were very misleading.

I relate to myself to the situation time to time. There are two kinds of girls out there. The veiled married one or the unveiled single one. It seems as if its a trademark nowadays too, veil took the meaning of the marriage ring because those who don't wear it are not ready to be taken seriously. They want to play around, try the "freedom lifestyle" or focusing on their private lives. An Arab girl these days won't give me attention as if they have forgotten where they came from thus making me feel bad. I just love where I come from, I won't let my origins down and most of all I need a Muslim woman so I dont have to be with someone who is clueless of my culture.

Most of the time I think that Arab girls became such a tease they want to be dominant and aggressive; they want you only if you have a good income otherwise you are just worthless..

 

[جوري]

aww imsad...you are not worthless, You'll find the one insha'Allah...

I can't comment much on the rest of your observations... but I just think you are very young and if you are looking for girls around your age group, they most likely aren't focused or sophisticated..if you'll have faith the one for you will turn up..

atyaboon lityabat, almomnoon lilmom'menat, asaberoon lilsaberat..Just have faith that Allah swt will find you the one best suited for you when the time is right inshaAllah for now just focus on your studies and chanel your emotions by making salat and sawm mondays and thursdays....

I am sure when when the time comes for the one Allah wants for you, your paths will cross, and you will both be focused on personality and substance and seeking the grace of Allah swt ...

 

[anonymous]

Don't despare,yes it might seem hard sometimes to find a girl which will correspond to what you're looking for(religious,etc..),but she is out there!
It's called naseeb. (I sound so cheesy).

I spoke to many girls my sister included and all of them said that they prefer a white American guy over an Arab Muslim.

Oh boy,I've completly had the opposite experience with the girls around me...so don't worry,it might just be your surroundings who feel this way.Meet new people,not everyone has the same point of view/preference.

From what I've been told by the girls, Muslim Arabs are uptight ideologically and won't give them the freedom and equality the Americans pride themselves with.The guy will just lock them in the house and let them do nothing and be just housewives. They dont want that, they want to go out and put their make up on dress according to Jeniffer Lopez's style and be such a tease to everybody.

Just because a muslim woman doesn't want to spend her entire life being a housewife DOES NOT mean she wants to go out and be a tease...sheesh.A muslim woman is allowed her fair share of freedom(within limits,yes),and respect...I know I will want to have a career,not one that takes up 100% of my time(of course having a family is important,definetly),but I do want to contribute to make this world a better place insh'allah in whichever way I can...and I do believe sisters have that right.No?

Do we live in the dark ages? Men and Women today have to work and both genders have the same rights in the U.S... If I didnt have to work in the U.S. i will be more than happy to have all the freetime for my hobbies and be a couch potato...

Yes correct...
Women can be ambitious too..some want to be doctors,others want to be professors...it's not in everyone's liking to be a couch potato all the time(hm..on week-ends yeah.lol)

It seems as if I and many Arab Muslims stand no chance in front of a tall blue eyed blond guy riding a white horse. All the girls i talked with about this issue favor looks over religion and when I asked them to chose between a white American (none Muslim) or an Arab Muslim and the answer was chocking. They dont wnat to answer and their answers were very misleading.

haha,this part made me laugh.Maybe the girls you spoke with preferred looks over religion...but one more,that is not always the case.Maybe they were immature or not fully aware of the importance of deen in marriage,either way,don't fuss about their opinion..we both know they're wrong.

If it makes you feel better,im arab and I would pick an arab man over a western guy any day.About the blue eyed blond guy (hehehehehe) Again,this depends on the girls' taste...I know I'd want a dark haired browned eyed guy..simply because I find at much more attractive(and so does many,many other people I know.no offence so any blond guys here btw,lol).

There are two kinds of girls out there. The veiled married one or the unveiled single one. It seems as if its a trademark nowadays too, veil took the meaning of the marriage ring because those who don't wear it are not ready to be taken seriously. They want to play around, try the "freedom lifestyle" or focusing on their private lives. An Arab girl these days won't give me attention as if they have forgotten where they came from thus making me feel bad.

Bro,gross generalisation...not veiled girls are married(well,that's pretty obvious) and not all "unveiled" girls are seeking this dunya's pleasure.Women who don't wear the hijab should not be looked down upon as being "less religious" simply because we don't know that.Some women who aren't veiled might be more religious than women who are veiled!*personal experience speaking here*.This is not always the case.I know.So please,do not genaralise.Anyway,I won't get any deeper into that because it isn't the subject.

just love where I come from, I won't let my origins down and most of all I need a Muslim woman so I dont have to be with someone who is clueless of my culture.

That's fair,I totally agree with this...you should stick by that;it's a value you have and insh'allah you'll find a girl who shares this.(yes,they do exist.)lol

if you are looking for girls around your age group, they most likely aren't focused or sophisticated..

most likely...yes.Im around that age group,and I do consider myself equally mature to women who are 23-24...simply because I've gone through circumstances which many people do not face until they are full adults...alhamdulillah I've come out stronger and more aware of my deen,and I know im not the only one.With time does not come knowledge,knowledge comes with experience.You learn and grow with experience,these build your character,not the age you are.


......this has got to be the longest post I have ever made on LI.:uuh:

Anw,

good luck bro!

 

[anonymous]

They dont want that, they want to go out and put their make up on dress according to Jeniffer Lopez's style and be such a tease to everybody.

It seems as if I and many Arab Muslims stand no chance in front of a tall blue eyed blond guy riding a white horse.

well then, really akhee you dont really need anyone like that. famous people are the worst to follow, in my opinion. well, atleast the ones with no hayaa, etc. why would you want your wife to to be stared at by everyone, which is what will happen if you marry someone that aspires to be like those famous people, in dress sense and looks. concerning the bold part, you need a wife thats in touch with reality. hoping that your 'knight in shining amour' is going to come and literally 'sweep you off your feet' and "ride off on a white horse into the sunset," is not realistic.

An Arab girl these days won't give me attention as if they have forgotten where they came from thus making me feel bad. I just love where I come from, I won't let my origins down and most of all I need a Muslim woman so I dont have to be with someone who is clueless of my culture.

im not exaclty sure what you mean here, but do you have to marry an arab. i know its easier and all, as you both will have understanding of culture, etc but, does she have to be .
btw, why dont you just go to the mid east and look for a bride there :?

 

[tigersabre]

In this discussion I would like to talk about Muslims in the United States especially the youth. I am 20 years old man living in the United States and I experienced a lot of cultural changes since I moved here. Arabic people are a mutable race as it seems, all the girls I know in my age range do not pride themselves of marrying a Muslim Arab.

I spoke to many girls my sister included and all of them said that they prefer a white American guy over an Arab Muslim. Think about all the trouble of converting someone who doesn't know anything about your religion then living with him...A lot of conflicts will arise. That left me startling yet to investigate more.

From what I've been told by the girls, Muslim Arabs are uptight ideologically and won't give them the freedom and equality the Americans pride themselves with. The guy will just lock them in the house and let them do nothing and be just housewives. They dont want that, they want to go out and put their make up on dress according to Jeniffer Lopez's style and be such a tease to everybody. Do we live in the dark ages? Men and Women today have to work and both genders have the same rights in the U.S... If I didnt have to work in the U.S. i will be more than happy to have all the freetime for my hobbies and be a couch potato...It seems as if I and many Arab Muslims stand no chance in front of a tall blue eyed blond guy riding a white horse. All the girls i talked with about this issue favor looks over religion and when I asked them to chose between a white American (none Muslim) or an Arab Muslim and the answer was chocking. They dont wnat to answer and their answers were very misleading.

I relate to myself to the situation time to time. There are two kinds of girls out there. The veiled married one or the unveiled single one. It seems as if its a trademark nowadays too, veil took the meaning of the marriage ring because those who don't wear it are not ready to be taken seriously. They want to play around, try the "freedom lifestyle" or focusing on their private lives. An Arab girl these days won't give me attention as if they have forgotten where they came from thus making me feel bad. I just love where I come from, I won't let my origins down and most of all I need a Muslim woman so I dont have to be with someone who is clueless of my culture.

Most of the time I think that Arab girls became such a tease they want to be dominant and aggressive; they want you only if you have a good income otherwise you are just worthless..

It's probably because Arab guys from "back home" confuse Islam the religion as "Islam my Arab culture" and then there are other parts of Arab culture which they think is islam, but isn't.

The issue of women rights in Islam is one that's front and center these days in the media, and the women here don't want some backwards person from any country, Arab or not, telling them that they should live like "back home". Back home living has some aspects of being Islamic, and some aspects from the indigenous culture which has nothing to do with Islam.

My advice to you - start learning what is and isn't the rights of women in a marriage, and stop talking to women to hang out with you and so forth.