Grace Seeker
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Your Muslim friends have told you that while it may be permissible to proceed, that you should do so with great caution. I think they are giving you wise advice, but would you like to know what I (a protestant Christian pastor) would say to the Orthodox Christian girl in this instance?
I would remind her of the very same difficulties that your friends have reminded you. Issues regarding raising children. Christians who take their faith seriously have a moral obligation to raise their children as Christians. You have the exact opposite obligation. You say that she will not convert; will she expect that in time you would convert? I know many Christian women who think that it doesn't matter before marriage what a man believes, because they can/will convert him afterward. They are often dissappointed, but they attempt it more often than you might think. And sadly, the failure of either to convert the other often ends up with both the man and the woman eventually giving only token lip service to their faith, and neither taking either seriously. The children then end up with no real faith, just a bunch of empty mixed up traditions that neither understand.
I don't mean to sound so negative, that it can't possibly work. It can. I have seen it happen a few times -- a very few times. It is for this reason that I would point the girl to a verse of Christian scripture, that if she is truly serious about her faith would probably make her as conflicted as you, but that I would want her to seriously understand the implciations of before proceeding: "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers" (2 Corinthians 6:14).
You said:
I would remind her of the very same difficulties that your friends have reminded you. Issues regarding raising children. Christians who take their faith seriously have a moral obligation to raise their children as Christians. You have the exact opposite obligation. You say that she will not convert; will she expect that in time you would convert? I know many Christian women who think that it doesn't matter before marriage what a man believes, because they can/will convert him afterward. They are often dissappointed, but they attempt it more often than you might think. And sadly, the failure of either to convert the other often ends up with both the man and the woman eventually giving only token lip service to their faith, and neither taking either seriously. The children then end up with no real faith, just a bunch of empty mixed up traditions that neither understand.
I don't mean to sound so negative, that it can't possibly work. It can. I have seen it happen a few times -- a very few times. It is for this reason that I would point the girl to a verse of Christian scripture, that if she is truly serious about her faith would probably make her as conflicted as you, but that I would want her to seriously understand the implciations of before proceeding: "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers" (2 Corinthians 6:14).
You said:
Might I suggest to you that it is in NOT letting go that you might both sacrifice your ultimate happiness. And believe me, I don't speak against this as one who is anti-Islam (or anything else). My own daughter lives in a city that sits part in Europe and part Asia and she is one of those Muslim girls from the Asian part you spoke about above. And though I would rather see her Christian, and though she is modern, and though she is also very independent in her thinking, still I believe that she has wisely decided that since she is a Muslim she will never marry anyone who is not Muslim.
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