I understand but it is permissable to do nikkah without anyone knowing but us and Allah. We dont want to meet without it being halal. We know we are right for one another via istikhara etc. We are praying my parents will accept one day but for now we dont want to do anything haram. So i would rather do nikkah than meet as gf and bf. Hope that makes sense. In terms of respecting him and his family have accepted me its just my folks.
For marriage to be valid, it is stipulated that the wali (guardian) of the woman be present, and it is not permissible for the woman to do the marriage contract for herself, because the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “There is no (valid) marriage except with a wali.” Narrated by Abu Dawood, 2085; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in
Irwa’ al-Ghaleel, 1839. And he (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) also said: “Any woman who gets married without the permission of her wali, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid.” Narrated by Ahmad, 24417; Abu Dawood, 2083; at-Tirmidhi, 1102; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in
Saheeh Abi Dawood.
One of the conditions of the marriage contract being valid is that it should be done by the wali (guardian), whether the woman is a virgin or previously married, because the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “There is no (valid) marriage except with a wali.” End quote.
If the father does not agree to this marriage without valid reasons, then guardianship passes to the next closest of her guardians, such as her brother, then her paternal uncle. If all of them refuse, the head of the Islamic Centre in her city can give her in marriage; if that is not applicable, then the imam of the Jaami‘ mosque may do that.
The majority of scholars are of the view that the marriage contract is not valid except in the presence of two witnesses to the marriage contract, because the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “There is no (valid) marriage except in the presence of the wali and two witnesses of good character.” Narrated by al-Bayhaqi, 14086; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in
Saheeh al-Jaami‘, 13515.
Some of the scholars stipulated that the marriage must be announced publicly in order for it to be valid. According to these scholars, the announcement must come before consummation of the marriage. Telling two men about it does not constitute a public announcement.
https://islamqa.info/en/159297
see also,
The conditions of a proper nikaah (marriage contract) are as follows:
https://islamqa.info/en/2127