Marriage

[Zzz_]

Lot of people put things to fate and say it was meant to be. You also have to realize is fate alone is not directing your life's path. Fate can be changed by dua, evil eye and magic. So if you are giving it your 110% and still not seeing things going your way, maybe it's your fate but rather someone messing with your fate. One has to learn their deen in these matters as it is more widespread then you would think.

As for the advice of you are still young so don't worry about it, well that depends. If you are a convert then that's fine. but if you are from back home culture then and plan to marry within your ethnicity then know that the older you get the harder it becomes to get married. These are realities of life to keep in mind.

 

[Hamza Asadullah]

Hi

I am new here so not so sure if there is already a thread on this topic.

I am hoping all you wonderful people can help me.

I really want to get married but i just don't seem to be liking any of the proposals. Please dont ask me why i am not liking them i dont know myself. All i know that is when i like someone my heart will want to be with that person if that makes
sense.

i am of age 29 now and its getting abit stressful. i always pray to Allah to help me get married but its not happening.

Im not sure what to do. sometimes i have thoughts like what if it never happens??

All my friends are married now and im still single.

I am going to start to pray tahujjud please advice me what else i could do /try.

I think a lot of people think that before marriage but know that such thoughts are from shaythan who wants to make you lose hope. Know that Allah is the match maker. For some it may take weeks, others months and for some years until they find the person meant for them. As long as you are making the required effort, exploring the relevant avenues in looking for a partner in the right way and manner within the boundaries of Islam. Then make much Dua to Allah, particularly in the latter part of the night at Tahajjud time and patiently persevere by putting your trust and reliance in him and know that he will do what is best for you when the time is right inshAllah.

May Allah give you a good pious partner. Ameen

 

[FinalNyc]

Hi

I am new here so not so sure if there is already a thread on this topic.

I am hoping all you wonderful people can help me.

I really want to get married but i just don't seem to be liking any of the proposals. Please dont ask me why i am not liking them i dont know myself. All i know that is when i like someone my heart will want to be with that person if that makes
sense.

i am of age 29 now and its getting abit stressful. i always pray to Allah to help me get married but its not happening.

Im not sure what to do. sometimes i have thoughts like what if it never happens??

All my friends are married now and im still single.

I am going to start to pray tahujjud please advice me what else i could do /try.

I think you should not rush on things like marriage, maybe Allah has a better plan for you.

 

[Bhabha]

Who needs guys now a days anyways.

You can also "adopt" children, give orphans a home and love them.

When I mean "adopt"; I mean without changing their names of course, but taking care of children like your own children with love, if you are worried about not being able to have children in the future due to lack of husband.

I know a lot of people will shun me for saying that, but why just remain single when you can help a child out and in turn have a great companion that will care for you in your old age as well

 

[xa_xa_ft]

On another note ... completely off topic do you think the man that broke my heart previously will ever realise how much pain he caused me? What i mean is that sometimes i wonder how hes doing.. if hes happy. Life is strange.

 

[MuslimInshallah]

Assalaamu alaikum XaXa, my dear,

(gently) I wonder whether the reason you can't quite find it in your heart to accept a proposal, is because your heart is still taken with the young man you have mentioned?

May God, the Opener, Make the way clearer for you.

 

[xa_xa_ft]

No i dont have any space in my heart for that person anymore but i just hope hes sorry for hurting me.

 

[xa_xa_ft]

One day he will be in sha allah

 

[MuslimInshallah]

Assalaamu alaikum, my dear,

(gently) Whether you desire a person, or whether you are angry with that person... your heart is still taken with him. (gently) I do not know what he did to you (and it might be very terrible), but it seems to me that unless you can let go of him, you will be stuck.

May God Bless you with His healing Mercy.

 

[xa_xa_ft]

I will happily marry another man and move on. Its not easy to forgive someone whom broke your heart. I hope that the pain i went through this man realises

 

[xa_xa_ft]

Thats all

 

[xa_xa_ft]

Thats all

 

[ardianto]

The only thing that can make a man regret for hurting and leaving the woman who ever loved him is, ..... if he saw this woman happy with the new man and no longer keep memories with him.

 

[soulforAllah]

Sister we are on the same boat. I am looking to get married with no success for no obvious reason. Just keep praying to Allah, Allah surely has better plans for us.:statisfie
And about the man who hurt you, he will realize it if not in this life then of course in the hereafter. But the secret of getting solace is forgiveness. Once you forgive your heart will be relieved from the burden in shaa Allah.

 

[xa_xa_ft]

I dont have any bad feeligs in my heart for him all i hope is he realises i mean i deserve that much dont i ... surely ones love should be acknoledged i didnt have a haram relationship i just wanted to marry him and love and care for him. I dont think he will realise unless allah makes him realise

 

[soulforAllah]

Even if he already realized it then there's no way for you to know. So, just be rest assured that he hurt you so he will come to its realization.

 

[Eric H]

Greetings and peace be with you xa_xa_ft;

Its not easy to forgive someone whom broke your heart. I hope that the pain i went through this man realises

Just a thought, I wonder how those men are feeling that you turned down? Are their hearts broken?

Sometimes it is easier to forgive someone, in the hope that we also can be forgiven.

In the spirit of praying to a just and merciful God.

Eric

 

[xa_xa_ft]

I didnt lead them on and then dump them 3 months before my marriage ! There is a big difference in rejecting and breaking a heart.

 

[Eric H]

Greetings and peace be with you xa_xa_ft;

I didnt lead them on and then dump them 3 months before my marriage ! There is a big difference in rejecting and breaking a heart.

I understand there are differences, but from a man's perception, it takes a lot of courage to propose, and involve families in the decision. I have read stories here from men who have been turned down, they can seem like emotional wrecks after.

My reply was not intended to compare who suffers the most, but rather as a means of trying to find ways to forgive your ex from the heart. He is probably oblivious of the pain he has caused you, he probably had no intentions of hurting you, but like you, he could just have had second thoughts, without knowing why.

I don't want to make excuses for him, but am saying this in the hope you might be able to forgive him totally and move on.

soulforAllah summed it up well when she said - But the secret of getting solace is forgiveness. Once you forgive your heart will be relieved from the burden in shaa Allah.

In the spirit of praying to a just and merciful God,
Eric

 

[xa_xa_ft]

I have forgiven but i can not forget and thats a big difference.