Marriage.

[Sister_44546]

Assalamu alaykum. Recently, my parents have been bringing up marriage and are looking forward to it. However they want someone from their connections! ( they want a friend who is the same culture as us, somewhere in Russia)... My family isnt so religious I can tell you that. They still pray but they care about this world too much and they dont realize the importance of obeying Allah as much. They never pushed Islam into us as children which is why some siblings of mine dont pray. Alhamdulilah, Allah has given me the heart to become devout! I UNDERSTAND marriage. The point of marriage is to become more religious, bring religion to your children’s lives, and to obey and please Allah. I want the most halal marriage and I know some very religious lady who has a son who treats her so well. They are Arabs. My dad hates arabs. He is very devout and they are STRICT about how to handle marriage which means they are very obedient to Allah and if I marry him I will have lots of barakah in my marriage. I do not care for looks. I want a kind and religious man and I found one. I have known this lady for long and they have the same goals as me. To finish memorizing the Quran and to move to Mecca. My moms connections arent like that!!!!!!! They sin too much, mix genders, listen to music, some dont even pray! I strictly keep away from sinning and this family is more religious than me so we have same standards. Its always been hard to keep away from things like music and more sins because its always been in my house with my family. I have been so excited to finally find a religious family like this and LET ME TELL YOU how hard it is to find these people. I dont have to worry about sinning as much as I do if I marry them. Now let me tell you about my parents. With my brother, the way they wanted him to get married was not halal. They let girl send pictures of her (body seducing pics bc she doesnt wear hijab) and they let them talk alot. This is not what we do in Islam. We ask the parents questions about their child we want to marry and we have family meetings, thats how it should be. But no, not with my family. My dad has anger problems which makes it harder on me. He said he would rather have my brother eat crap from a spouse they choose than for him to be happy with an Arab. He said hed rather have me marry someone who doesnt pray (of his connections and friends) than have me marry a religious arab. Ohh how am I supposed to do this. I want to become an amazing muslim and raise a good family. My parents never think like that about religion. My dad said to my brother wallahi if my brother marries an arab, he will cut ties. This is a sin. What do I do!?!?! Help mee! I need to marry someone religious. My dad cannot do this to me! And my mom is startting not to like this family because they are “too religious” and they will make me feel depressed! I have always craved for a religious figure in my life (apart from the prophets peace be upon them. I mean right now in my family). I found someone to look up to. I have no problems with his mom. She is so religious when she first heard about me when i was a teen, she wanted to teach me the Quran and I have known her for long. Families like them are too rare and precious to let go. My dad has serious anger issues and he will ABSOLUTELY not let me get married to her son. This is what happens when you have a family that becomes unreligious!!! I need help because they will never understand the point in marriage. They think its to please others with the status! Thank you

 

[Sister_44546]

Marriage help please

Assalamu alaykum. Recently, my parents have been bringing up marriage and are looking forward to it. However they want someone from their connections! ( they want a friend who is the same culture as us, somewhere in Russia)... My family isnt so religious I can tell you that. They still pray but they care about this world too much and they dont realize the importance of obeying Allah as much. They never pushed Islam into us as children which is why some siblings of mine dont pray. Alhamdulilah, Allah has given me the heart to become devout! I UNDERSTAND marriage. The point of marriage is to become more religious, bring religion to your children’s lives, and to obey and please Allah. I want the most halal marriage and I know some very religious lady who has a son who treats her so well. They are Arabs. My dad hates arabs. He is very devout and they are STRICT about how to handle marriage which means they are very obedient to Allah and if I marry him I will have lots of barakah in my marriage. I do not care for looks. I want a kind and religious man and I found one. I have known this lady for long and they have the same goals as me. To finish memorizing the Quran and to move to Mecca. My moms connections arent like that!!!!!!! They sin too much, mix genders, listen to music, some dont even pray! I strictly keep away from sinning and this family is more religious than me so we have same standards. Its always been hard to keep away from things like music and more sins because its always been in my house with my family. I have been so excited to finally find a religious family like this and LET ME TELL YOU how hard it is to find these people. I dont have to worry about sinning as much as I do if I marry them. Now let me tell you about my parents. With my brother, the way they wanted him to get married was not halal. They let girl send pictures of her (body seducing pics bc she doesnt wear hijab) and they let them talk alot. This is not what we do in Islam. We ask the parents questions about their child we want to marry and we have family meetings, thats how it should be. But no, not with my family. My dad has anger problems which makes it harder on me. He said he would rather have my brother eat crap from a spouse they choose than for him to be happy with an Arab. He said hed rather have me marry someone who doesnt pray (of his connections and friends) than have me marry a religious arab. Ohh how am I supposed to do this. I want to become an amazing muslim and raise a good family. My parents never think like that about religion. My dad said to my brother wallahi if my brother marries an arab, he will cut ties. This is a sin. What do I do!?!?! Help mee! I need to marry someone religious. My dad cannot do this to me! And my mom is startting not to like this family because they are “too religious” and they will make me feel depressed! I have always craved for a religious figure in my life (apart from the prophets peace be upon them. I mean right now in my family). I found someone to look up to. I have no problems with his mom. She is so religious when she first heard about me when i was a teen, she wanted to teach me the Quran and I have known her for long. Families like them are too rare and precious to let go. My dad has serious anger issues and he will ABSOLUTELY not let me get married to her son. This is what happens when you have a family that becomes unreligious!!! I need help because they will never understand the point in marriage. They think its to please others with the status! Thank you

 

[xboxisdead]

Assalamu alaykum. Recently, my parents have been bringing up marriage and are looking forward to it. However they want someone from their connections! ( they want a friend who is the same culture as us, somewhere in Russia)... My family isnt so religious I can tell you that. They still pray but they care about this world too much and they dont realize the importance of obeying Allah as much. They never pushed Islam into us as children which is why some siblings of mine dont pray. Alhamdulilah, Allah has given me the heart to become devout! I UNDERSTAND marriage. The point of marriage is to become more religious, bring religion to your children’s lives, and to obey and please Allah. I want the most halal marriage and I know some very religious lady who has a son who treats her so well. They are Arabs. My dad hates arabs. He is very devout and they are STRICT about how to handle marriage which means they are very obedient to Allah and if I marry him I will have lots of barakah in my marriage. I do not care for looks. I want a kind and religious man and I found one. I have known this lady for long and they have the same goals as me. To finish memorizing the Quran and to move to Mecca. My moms connections arent like that!!!!!!! They sin too much, mix genders, listen to music, some dont even pray! I strictly keep away from sinning and this family is more religious than me so we have same standards. Its always been hard to keep away from things like music and more sins because its always been in my house with my family. I have been so excited to finally find a religious family like this and LET ME TELL YOU how hard it is to find these people. I dont have to worry about sinning as much as I do if I marry them. Now let me tell you about my parents. With my brother, the way they wanted him to get married was not halal. They let girl send pictures of her (body seducing pics bc she doesnt wear hijab) and they let them talk alot. This is not what we do in Islam. We ask the parents questions about their child we want to marry and we have family meetings, thats how it should be. But no, not with my family. My dad has anger problems which makes it harder on me. He said he would rather have my brother eat crap from a spouse they choose than for him to be happy with an Arab. He said hed rather have me marry someone who doesnt pray (of his connections and friends) than have me marry a religious arab. Ohh how am I supposed to do this. I want to become an amazing muslim and raise a good family. My parents never think like that about religion. My dad said to my brother wallahi if my brother marries an arab, he will cut ties. This is a sin. What do I do!?!?! Help mee! I need to marry someone religious. My dad cannot do this to me! And my mom is startting not to like this family because they are “too religious” and they will make me feel depressed! I have always craved for a religious figure in my life (apart from the prophets peace be upon them. I mean right now in my family). I found someone to look up to. I have no problems with his mom. She is so religious when she first heard about me when i was a teen, she wanted to teach me the Quran and I have known her for long. Families like them are too rare and precious to let go. My dad has serious anger issues and he will ABSOLUTELY not let me get married to her son. This is what happens when you have a family that becomes unreligious!!! I need help because they will never understand the point in marriage. They think its to please others with the status! Thank you

You cannot get married to anyone without a guardian, a walli. The Walli order starts with your father goes down the list. Since he refused there is not much you can do about this family. My suggestion is not to push it any further and let them go, perhaps for the sake of that pious brother he does deserve a better family to get married too. He is not just marrying you, he is marrying your family. Would you want such hostile environment to him when he could get a better family that will treat him better?

That been aside, my advice is to help your family first instead of focusing on marriage first for yourself. Your family need guidance, you need to bring Islam to their house and make lots of Dua to Allah (Subhanahu Wa Talaa) to guide your family from the misguidance they are in. Your family need a super hero, it could be you, to help bring the message and bring light in the darkness of their home. I doubt you would be happily getting married and sleep at night while you watch your mother, father and brother be burned alive in this world. How about then be thrown in hellfire forever in afterlife? Now after everything you have done they still refuse and their hearts are locked there is not much you can do is except make dua to Allah and make marriage easy for you by marrying a non-Arab person. You will find other non-Arab brothers who are equally as good as this family you like.

Just so you know that your father's discriminatory against Arabs comes from past history of how Arabs have treated him or other non-Arab peoples. Unfortunately, the Arabs have dark history in this regard even now in 2019.

Exercise patience sister, it could be that this marriage is not for you or it could be that Allah (Subhanahu Wa Talaa) is protecting the good family and their son from harm that may come from your family. You don't know the reason behind why this marriage may not happen, but everything that comes from Allah have Wisdom and it is for good of the slave. Allah created evil, Allah created good and Allah created harm all of these are trails and tests that we have to go through.

Regardless of this, you cannot marry without a Walli a guardian! Simple put and this is a matter you need to discuss in mosques, shiekhs not on public form like this!

 

[Studentofdeed]

Have you tried to speak toba local imam? Or maybe an uncle who could intercede in your behalf? Try salatal istikhara. If it is good for you then Allah will make it appear before your eyes, if not then Allah knows something we do not. May allah make it easy for you...
Also yes I agree not all Arabs are bad. However Every community and race and nation has bad within it though. Try to understand your father's perspective. Your dad or people he knows may have gone through a traumatic experience which gave him a bad taste. Yes it's bad they are not acting Islamic but it's hard to trust people when majority have mistreated others. And I agree with xboxisdead, Lot of arabs have been extremely racist and treat their workers with injustice. They also have multiple wives and are not just with them. Your father may be scared and doesnt want this life for you where you are neglected and treated horribly. And maybe Allah is saving you from a bad marriage. Lot of people are "pious" yet behind close doors they are the most evil people and abusive.

 

[Sister_44546]

You cannot get married to anyone without a guardian, a walli. The Walli order starts with your father goes down the list. Since he refused there is not much you can do about this family. My suggestion is not to push it any further and let them go, perhaps for the sake of that pious brother he does deserve a better family to get married too. He is not just marrying you, he is marrying your family. Would you want such hostile environment to him when he could get a better family that will treat him better?

That been aside, my advice is to help your family first instead of focusing on marriage first for yourself. Your family need guidance, you need to bring Islam to their house and make lots of Dua to Allah (Subhanahu Wa Talaa) to guide your family from the misguidance they are in. Your family need a super hero, it could be you, to help bring the message and bring light in the darkness of their home. I doubt you would be happily getting married and sleep at night while you watch your mother, father and brother be burned alive in this world. How about then be thrown in hellfire forever in afterlife? Now after everything you have done they still refuse and their hearts are locked there is not much you can do is except make dua to Allah and make marriage easy for you by marrying a non-Arab person. You will find other non-Arab brothers who are equally as good as this family you like.

Just so you know that your father's discriminatory against Arabs comes from past history of how Arabs have treated him or other non-Arab peoples. Unfortunately, the Arabs have dark history in this regard even now in 2019.

Exercise patience sister, it could be that this marriage is not for you or it could be that Allah (Subhanahu Wa Talaa) is protecting the good family and their son from harm that may come from your family. You don't know the reason behind why this marriage may not happen, but everything that comes from Allah have Wisdom and it is for good of the slave. Allah created evil, Allah created good and Allah created harm all of these are trails and tests that we have to go through.

Regardless of this, you cannot marry without a Walli a guardian! Simple put and this is a matter you need to discuss in mosques, shiekhs not on public form like this!

Thank you so much for the advice. May Allah have mercy on you and I will think about everything

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Have you tried to speak toba local imam? Or maybe an uncle who could intercede in your behalf? Try salatal istikhara. If it is good for you then Allah will make it appear before your eyes, if not then Allah knows something we do not. May allah make it easy for you...
Also yes I agree not all Arabs are bad. However Every community and race and nation has bad within it though. Try to understand your father's perspective. Your dad or people he knows may have gone through a traumatic experience which gave him a bad taste. Yes it's bad they are not acting Islamic but it's hard to trust people when majority have mistreated others. And I agree with xboxisdead, Lot of arabs have been extremely racist and treat their workers with injustice. They also have multiple wives and are not just with them. Your father may be scared and doesnt want this life for you where you are neglected and treated horribly. And maybe Allah is saving you from a bad marriage. Lot of people are "pious" yet behind close doors they are the most evil people and abusive.

Thank you for the advice. May Allah have mercy on you

 

[No.23]

This must be very tough, remember Allah tests us, so do the right thing....i can only make Dua for you that things worked out..stay firm to Allah!
And may He help you past this test.:amin:

 

[CuriousonTruth]

Nothing Haram. Arab shaykhs have made a rule for themselves that non-arab man (Ajam) marrying Arab woman is Haram.

So why shouldn't we make similar rules for us?

I follow similar principles when it comes to the Arabs. If I have a daughter, and she wants to marry an Arab I will immediately cut ties with her.

 

[*charisma*]

Nothing Haram. Arab shaykhs have made a rule for themselves that non-arab man (Ajam) marrying Arab woman is Haram.

So why shouldn't we make similar rules for us?

I follow similar principles when it comes to the Arabs. If I have a daughter, and she wants to marry an Arab I will immediately cut ties with her.

How ignorant.

Assalamu alaykum. Recently, my parents have been bringing up marriage and are looking forward to it. However they want someone from their connections! ( they want a friend who is the same culture as us, somewhere in Russia)... My family isnt so religious I can tell you that. They still pray but they care about this world too much and they dont realize the importance of obeying Allah as much. They never pushed Islam into us as children which is why some siblings of mine dont pray. Alhamdulilah, Allah has given me the heart to become devout! I UNDERSTAND marriage. The point of marriage is to become more religious, bring religion to your children’s lives, and to obey and please Allah. I want the most halal marriage and I know some very religious lady who has a son who treats her so well. They are Arabs. My dad hates arabs. He is very devout and they are STRICT about how to handle marriage which means they are very obedient to Allah and if I marry him I will have lots of barakah in my marriage. I do not care for looks. I want a kind and religious man and I found one. I have known this lady for long and they have the same goals as me. To finish memorizing the Quran and to move to Mecca. My moms connections arent like that!!!!!!! They sin too much, mix genders, listen to music, some dont even pray! I strictly keep away from sinning and this family is more religious than me so we have same standards. Its always been hard to keep away from things like music and more sins because its always been in my house with my family. I have been so excited to finally find a religious family like this and LET ME TELL YOU how hard it is to find these people. I dont have to worry about sinning as much as I do if I marry them. Now let me tell you about my parents. With my brother, the way they wanted him to get married was not halal. They let girl send pictures of her (body seducing pics bc she doesnt wear hijab) and they let them talk alot. This is not what we do in Islam. We ask the parents questions about their child we want to marry and we have family meetings, thats how it should be. But no, not with my family. My dad has anger problems which makes it harder on me. He said he would rather have my brother eat crap from a spouse they choose than for him to be happy with an Arab. He said hed rather have me marry someone who doesnt pray (of his connections and friends) than have me marry a religious arab. Ohh how am I supposed to do this. I want to become an amazing muslim and raise a good family. My parents never think like that about religion. My dad said to my brother wallahi if my brother marries an arab, he will cut ties. This is a sin. What do I do!?!?! Help mee! I need to marry someone religious. My dad cannot do this to me! And my mom is startting not to like this family because they are “too religious” and they will make me feel depressed! I have always craved for a religious figure in my life (apart from the prophets peace be upon them. I mean right now in my family). I found someone to look up to. I have no problems with his mom. She is so religious when she first heard about me when i was a teen, she wanted to teach me the Quran and I have known her for long. Families like them are too rare and precious to let go. My dad has serious anger issues and he will ABSOLUTELY not let me get married to her son. This is what happens when you have a family that becomes unreligious!!! I need help because they will never understand the point in marriage. They think its to please others with the status! Thank you

You shouldn't focus on marrying a specific person right now. The family you want to marry into has not initiated the proposal process even though you are close to them as you say, so don't get too obsessed with the idea of marrying into their family. It's good that you know the type of person that you want to marry, and you should stick with that. Even though your family is not religious, they have a daughter who is religous. So it may very well be that they know families who are nonreligous but have sons who are religious like you. Allahu a'lem. The point is, continue to take care of your iman, don't get attached to anyone, and Allah will take care of you inshallah.

 

[xboxisdead]

How ignorant.



You shouldn't focus on marrying a specific person right now. The family you want to marry into has not initiated the proposal process even though you are close to them as you say, so don't get too obsessed with the idea of marrying into their family. It's good that you know the type of person that you want to marry, and you should stick with that. Even though your family is not religious, they have a daughter who is religous. So it may very well be that they know families who are nonreligous but have sons who are religious like you. Allahu a'lem. The point is, continue to take care of your iman, don't get attached to anyone, and Allah will take care of you inshallah.

My mom got married into a family that did not like her. Let me tell you, there is nothing ignorant to what he said. I will explain. She (my mother) married to a family that did not like her. But she loved my dad and my dad loved her. MY FATHER IS SUCH A PIOUS man that when he died he left the word with ZERO SINS (he died right after Hajj) and is now in high level of Jannah. His soul is pure and clean and his heart is pure and clean. But before his death, he is weak against his mother. His mother HATED MY MOTHER with passion. She mistreated her, made fun of her, abused her psychologically, always wanted to have power struggle and have her say, mingled constantly in his marriage affairs, made fun of my mother to the people around her and her friends and even my mother's friends.

She even went as far as try to convince my father to divorce my mother and found my mother a better wife for him RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY OWN mother. At one point with all that mingling from my dad's mother, he was in the process of filing a divorce to my mom even after she have birthed four sons and they where all little children and babies to boot. But he had a heart attack before completing the process and now my mother is left to raise four boys by herself. When he died my mother while is pregnant wanted to visit my father's grave or to see him, his mother refused and prevented my mother from doing so. Her families (my father's side) toke advantage of my mother and made us lose millions of dollars that was rightful ours an left us to the poor.


That scenario as a dad if I had a daughter will do all I can do to protect her from such harm!

 

[*charisma*]

My mom got married into a family that did not like her. Let me tell you, there is nothing ignorant to what he said. I will explain. She (my mother) married to a family that did not like her. But she loved my dad and my dad loved her. MY FATHER IS SUCH A PIOUS man that when he died he left the word with ZERO SINS (he died right after Hajj) and is now in high level of Jannah. His soul is pure and clean and his heart is pure and clean. But before his death, he is weak against his mother. His mother HATED MY MOTHER with passion. She mistreated her, made fun of her, abused her psychologically, always wanted to have power struggle and have her say, mingled constantly in his marriage affairs, made fun of my mother to the people around her and her friends and even my mother's friends.

She even went as far as try to convince my father to divorce my mother and found my mother a better wife for him RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY OWN mother. At one point with all that mingling from my dad's mother, he was in the process of filing a divorce to my mom even after she have birthed four sons and they where all little children and babies to boot. But he had a heart attack before completing the process and now my mother is left to raise four boys by herself. When he died my mother while is pregnant wanted to visit my father's grave or to see him, his mother refused and prevented my mother from doing so. Her families (my father's side) toke advantage of my mother and made us lose millions of dollars that was rightful ours an left us to the poor.


That scenario as a dad if I had a daughter will do all I can do to protect her from such harm!

You can't generalize all arabs by your very personal singular experience. Nor is it halal to cut ties to your daughter if she vocalizes her wants, especially if she is not doing anything haram. Your job as a father at that point is to see the potential spouse and view his character, piety, and personality etc, see whether he is truly fit for your daughter and can take care of her. You can meet with his family and see how they are as well. That is what a father does. You support your daughter so that all other males know that she has a LION as a father who will stand for her, take care of her, protect her and even die for her, even if who she married ended up being a DOG. He shouldn't be a wimp with twisted ideologies. Be dignified.

The issues between your mom and your dad's side of the family could have only been fixed by your father during the time of his life. I'm sorry to say but it is his fault for not having had done that before his death. It further reiterates that your mother did not have strong male figures in her life to jump in when problems occurred. The lesson you should take away from that is not to run away from issues but to fix them and be a strong male figure for the women in your life.

 

[xboxisdead]

You can't generalize all arabs by your very personal singular experience. Nor is it halal to cut ties to your daughter if she vocalizes her wants, especially if she is not doing anything haram. Your job as a father at that point is to see the potential spouse and view his character, piety, and personality etc, see whether he is truly fit for your daughter and can take care of her. You can meet with his family and see how they are as well. That is what a father does. You support your daughter so that all other males know that she has a LION as a father who will stand for her, take care of her, protect her and even die for her, even if who she married ended up being a DOG. He shouldn't be a wimp with twisted ideologies. Be dignified.

The issues between your mom and your dad's side of the family could have only been fixed by your father during the time of his life. I'm sorry to say but it is his fault for not having had done that before his death. It further reiterates that your mother did not have strong male figures in her life to jump in when problems occurred. The lesson you should take away from that is not to run away from issues but to fix them and be a strong male figure for the women in your life.

I think you are missing the fact he was pious that when he read all the ahadith about mother's right and the right she have over her son, I hope you can see from his point of stand that he fears the anger of his mother. For a man his duty on his mother, for a woman her duty is on her husband. He did not want to anger his mother, displease her and her mother is a control freak she could easily do anything to manipulate the situation. Women are Picasso when it comes to mind games. He wanted as much as possible to be neutral with the situation and to make peace with his mother and his wife at the same time. He couldn't do it. His mother never let go and put so much pressure on him, his heart couldn't take it. My mother always wanted divorce but he did not want to lose her..he was in tongue war between two women pulling at him.

That been aside......there is nothing when it comes to generalizing Arabs because we generalize everything. We say, majority of rapist and cereal killers are men. That is generalizing. Most wars are done by men. That is generalizing. We say, we do generalizing against women too we generalize according to race, according to religion, we say Jews love money. We generalize, we stereotype and we go accordingly to the generalization. We do this not only on people, we do this also on companies, on stats, on surveys, on everything. So yes we can generalize Arabs and we can give either our positive or negative point of generalization. That personal experience is not singular..it happens a lot in families and there hundreds if not thousands of lectures in Islamic videos that talks about mother-in-law's interference in marriage and how they break marriage a lot (THAT IS ANOTHER generalization we do..is we stereotype mother in laws. Whether you hate it or not..it is the fact.).

My example of my family life is used to generalize that if majority of big chunk of Arabs are that bad, I do not know what to risk my daughter who I love and take care of us and as a lion as you say I should be to be put in a scenario where she will be mistreated. Even if she loves him. My duty is to protect her. So that I will do that. No Arabs! Majority of Arabs in Arab country have attitudes, have arrogance and they mistreat or look down at non-Arabs. It is so bad that even an Arabic person, who post videos on youtube who have left Arab world and lives now in America says that Arabs are the only people who have superiority complex. I am an Arab and I do not want to marry an Arabic person.

 

[Sister_44546]

You realize that is haram to cut ties with anyone. And people shouldn’t think like that when it comes to ethnicity.

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Yes of course it is good to protect your daughter from harm. But the family is kind to me. Anyway, ethnicity has nothing to do with this. Dads shouldnt have their daughters get married off to someone because of culture, but rather someone good and religious

 

[xboxisdead]

You realize that is haram to cut ties with anyone. And people shouldn’t think like that when it comes to ethnicity.

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Yes of course it is good to protect your daughter from harm. But the family is kind to me. Anyway, ethnicity has nothing to do with this. Dads shouldnt have their daughters get married off to someone because of culture, but rather someone good and religious

I agree with you and with charisma that one should never cut ties with anyone. Yes! No cutting ties here! Cutting ties should ONLY BE DONE if the child have left fold of Islam and having connection with that child means that child will spread evil to his or her family and cause fitna and kufir...then yes I believe one should cut ties then. But other than that..no, I agree!

Janah12 you are a smart person, the rest of the decision is really up to you! Allah (Subhanahu Wa Talaa) have handed you this problem and it is up to you NOW to solve it. Each of us can spit out our opinions and some is right some is wrong, but seriously go to professional for this. Go to a trusted Mosque or even trusted scholar and ask them for advice...THEY WILL NOT SOLVE your problem however...it is YOU who will solve it...but they will give you professional advice..not like us! Each of us...feel confident to throw out our opinion on issues we don't know nothing about..which could cause more harm than good.


So if there is anything you have learned from these replies is this...IGNORE ALL OUR ADVICE WE have given you except this one...:

-----------------> THIS MATTER SHOULD BE DISCUSSED IN MOSQUE OR SHIEKHS OR KNOWN SCHOLARS TO HELP YOU ON THIS ISSUE. GO THERE! TELL THEM YOUR SCENARIO AND THEN SOLVE IT ON YOUR OWN AFTER ASKING ALLAH FOR HELP OF COURSE! <-----------------

Moderator it is up to you to close this topic, but my advice is to close it so as not to have other people misguide her unknowingly or give her bad advice....but I think she should not ask in general form for help in such serious matter and I think not one of us should give their bias or unbias opinion here. We will be accounted in the day of judgement if we give advise that could harm her or her family or even the man and his family she wanted to marry!

 

[CuriousonTruth]

And people shouldn’t think like that when it comes to ethnicity.

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Anyway, ethnicity has nothing to do with this.

I don't think you are well read into this topic at all. I have. Believe me, according to most Sunni scholars Race AND tribe are extremely important.

Outstide of middle East and Pakistan, these rules are not followed, but within Arab Islam, race and Tribe and certainly a core part of religion. I suggest you look into the matter. If you want me to post materials regarding this I can do that as well.

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How ignorant.

How am I ignorant? What I said is the truth.

 

[xboxisdead]

I don't think you are well read into this topic at all. I have. Believe me, according to most Sunni scholars Race AND tribe are extremely important.

Outstide of middle East and Pakistan, these rules are not followed, but within Arab Islam, race and Tribe and certainly a core part of religion. I suggest you look into the matter. If you want me to post materials regarding this I can do that as well.

Really?? If you don't mind...can you please paste some of the sources here? You got me curious actually! I did not know there was actual material on this subject at all.

 

[Sister_44546]

Thank you!

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I agree with you and with charisma that one should never cut ties with anyone. Yes! No cutting ties here! Cutting ties should ONLY BE DONE if the child have left fold of Islam and having connection with that child means that child will spread evil to his or her family and cause fitna and kufir...then yes I believe one should cut ties then. But other than that..no, I agree!

Janah12 you are a smart person, the rest of the decision is really up to you! Allah (Subhanahu Wa Talaa) have handed you this problem and it is up to you NOW to solve it. Each of us can spit out our opinions and some is right some is wrong, but seriously go to professional for this. Go to a trusted Mosque or even trusted scholar and ask them for advice...THEY WILL NOT SOLVE your problem however...it is YOU who will solve it...but they will give you professional advice..not like us! Each of us...feel confident to throw out our opinion on issues we don't know nothing about..which could cause more harm than good.


So if there is anything you have learned from these replies is this...IGNORE ALL OUR ADVICE WE have given you except this one...:

-----------------> THIS MATTER SHOULD BE DISCUSSED IN MOSQUE OR SHIEKHS OR KNOWN SCHOLARS TO HELP YOU ON THIS ISSUE. GO THERE! TELL THEM YOUR SCENARIO AND THEN SOLVE IT ON YOUR OWN AFTER ASKING ALLAH FOR HELP OF COURSE! <-----------------

Moderator it is up to you to close this topic, but my advice is to close it so as not to have other people misguide her unknowingly or give her bad advice....but I think she should not ask in general form for help in such serious matter and I think not one of us should give their bias or unbias opinion here. We will be accounted in the day of judgement if we give advise that could harm her or her family or even the man and his family she wanted to marry!

Thank you!