Married 18 years Obsesssed with women

[User69]

18 years of marriage and he's been obsessed with every single walking talking body with woman parts. He thinks he's gods gift to Islam, does bare minimum, goes mosque once a week for jumma and that too misses half the salad yet he is obsessed with what women wear and thinks he can judge whether they're going to heaven or hell

He obssessed with every single woman in my work place he has commented derogatorily on most of them, women on car parks, women at his work place- let's not go there, just think lift, security guard, woman and all the gory details I'm between he used to full me in on. All because they don't dress to his liking. He called my hijab sister a non hijabi. I don't know why he looks at what she wears anyway but according to him she's not a hijabi

today just when you would think this ""practising" Muslim man couldn't get any lower he's said all sorts about a dead woman ASTAGFIRULLAH AL AZEEM

I won't name names but her husband pushed her off a cliff.


This is what he has been saying:

He called a dead woman with an unborn baby a s****, he said she deserved to get killed becausd she didn't wear hijab.

"Sad that why couldn't she have when was alive and converted her daughter too Even her mum has ro have her daughter killed before she started practising She makes out shes a martyr "

I have had enough of him. 18 years of constant obsession with women be it online, on perosn. He's also obsessed with a forum member callelf Asiya, he opened a thread on here pretending to be a woman and got women to reply.. and it was about what I wore. I wear hijab looms loose clothing and abayas. He calls me a whore.

Which lady on here would put up with this?

Advise as to what to do. I should have divorced 18 years ago I know.

Obsessed with women wallahihes obsessed with women. He says what a woman wears I's more important to him than any other aspect of Islam.

Men is this normal?

 

[User69]

He accuses me of talking openly to men at work, parks outside to see who walks I'm to building, wants me to work yet makes my life he'll for it, he makes up his own Islamic rules. I worry a long loose dress with flowers on and took the washing off in gardsnm he allied me a whole and said I was dressed like a bride as according to him a woman can mot wear any printed clothing. Wearing concealer to cover dark eye bags is garam despite numerous scholars saying otherwise.

He keeps bringing up what I wore 20 years ago pre marriage. Says I was a whole who flaunted herself to men. I have teenage children and one who recently passed away. I wish I never married him he's made my life a pure misery.

 

[User69]

I was a member of this forum 20 years ago he searches my threads and 20 years on thinks he can throw them in my face. Yet he poses as a woman on here and gets women ro reply then gets obssssesssed over tye women who reply

 

[Wood Pigeon]

Sister, I’m so sorry you’re carrying this. What you’ve described is not normal, not kind, and not the conduct of someone who fears Allah in the way he claims. Mocking women, inventing rulings, insulting you, and speaking with such cruelty about a deceased woman is ظلم and a hard-heartedness that should deeply worry him, not you.

Please don’t let his obsession make you question your own worth or your deen. Hijab, loose clothing, and modesty are not the issue here; his arrogance and lack of adab are. A man who is sincere will lower his gaze, guard his tongue, and correct himself with humility. He will not keep policing women while ignoring his own sins.

You have endured a great deal for 18 years, and your pain is clear. At this stage, I would strongly advise you to protect your mental and emotional well-being first. If you can, stop engaging in arguments that only feed his behavior. Keep things brief and factual. Document the worst incidents. Speak to a trusted family member, imam, counsellor, or women’s support service who understands abuse and can help you think clearly and safely.

If there is any risk of escalation, please prioritise safety and do not confront him alone. And if separation or divorce is the only way to restore peace and protect you and your children, then that is not a failure on your part. Sometimes leaving ongoing harm is the most sound decision a person can make.

May Allah ease your heart, protect you, and replace this grief with relief and dignity. You deserve respect, not humiliation.

As Salaamu Alaykum!

 

[User69]

His obsession with women started since the very first day I set eyes on him. It was an arranged marriage never spoke to him at all. Regrettably. I wish I did and never married him. 20 years on he says things about my dress sense and even my school days from when I was younger then my son.

 

[Muhammad]

السلام عليكم sister,

I haven’t approved your other posts as they are repeating the same things or going into unnecessary detail. You need to resolve the issues by seeking support from the appropriate people. May Allah rectify all of your affairs, Ameen.