married life is not as easy and fun as i thought it would be

:sl:
if you ask a lot of couples what their relationship and marriage was during their early stages after marriage, you will probably find that a lot went through difficulty and it makes sense that they did because most likely, people will marry someone they dont really know and have had only brief conversations and meeting with them, so when living together they will most likely be a few mishaps and arguments then and there due to their lack of understanding of one another.

but this isnt something to loose your patience over. on the contrary, misunderstanding and little flaws gives a chance for the relationship to flourish and for you to understand better your spouse. your job is to try to understand one another better by communication so that you know what the problem is and try to remove it. in this case the solution is to advise your wife not to speak ill of your family and go and look for separate accommodation.

and lastly, remove that presumption out of your mind that marriage is all rosy! not the case at all!
 
Greetings and peace be with you AnonymousGender; I hope you are both well.
i have to leave the house to really make my marriage work
Click to expand...
When you move out of the house, you escape from one set of problems, but the journey through life and marriage, will bring up a new set of problems. It almost seems that we constantly blunder, from one set of problems into another.

Relationships and getting on with other people is one of the hardest things we do in life. The longer you are together, it seems the more effort and the harder you have to try, to keep loving each other.

In order to find peace, try and understand this prayer….

Lord Grant me the peace and serenity to live with the things I cannot change.
Grant me the courage to change the things I can.
And the wisdom to know the difference.

You cannot change other people, or what happened yesterday, you cannot change where you live today.

You can only change yourself, and your attitude to these problems,

The wisdom to know the difference, how do I live in peace with myself and others, despite all the aggravation, and all the things I cannot change today?

In the spirit of praying for an inner peace that surpasses all understanding

Eric
 
:sl:

sounds like the story of my life. I suggest get your own place and start givnig your wife more of ur attention and time. also, dont expect too much of her. i am sure she will get on just fine with your family. but she needs to do it of her own accord not through force.
 
:sl:
I had seen a movie once in which the couple keeps fighting and stuff and the movie did not have a happy ending.

Brother, I live in a mixed environment and I see these situations almost everyday. I'm single and I get scared sometimes to get married just because of the issues that I see between Man and Wife.

I'm not a married man but I'll just hope that my advice can help you. You guys have had a love marriage and so its not just your family that could be upsetting your wife, it could also be the changes in the relationship and in both of you which she might be finding difficult to adjust to. I recently read an article about keeping your partner happy in a magazine and one of the things mentioned in that article was that keep checking if your partner is happy/bored with you because it could be possible that he/she just enjoyed being chased and now that the chase is over they might not be much interested in you as a person. Thats human nature. We keep hearing about moaning couples saying He's changed/She's changed.

For me, Love is a mystery and it ought to be that way as Allah (Subhaanahu Wa Ta'ala) is the controller of the hearts and he keeps turning them the way he wills.

Its difficult for any sensitive man to move out of his parents' house so that he can live alone with his wife and leave the aging parents alone and moreover it is more important for us to please our parents than finding space for one's self.

So talk her through all this, take her out on dates, be with her the way you used to before marriage. Look good for her. Take her shopping, wear the shirts she picks for you (even pink, if that's what she likes :exhausted). Surprise her with something at least once in a week. Occasionally lift her, I've heard that makes women go crazy. :giggling: Just make her feel that she's very special and tell her that you can't leave your family. Communication is always the key. And try to make things possible for her which aren't so now at your parents' house.

And most importantly, make dua to Allah that He gives your wife patience and love for you and your family.

I'd have written more but I think I've already violated the rules so I better shut up now. :)

:w:
 

Similar Threads

Back
Top