Married Virgin

[vlamrko]

I just read through these posts. I really cannot relate to this attitude toward sex. I'm astounded. Any heterosexual man should be jumping on his wife at the first chance. The problem seems too obvious. It sounds to me as though he is gay. And the two of you were raised in an overly-protective environment with very little open communication about sex. Hopefully I am wrong. You two need some professional help.

i think you are just generalizing here. just because you cannot relate to his attitude does not mean that "any heterosexual man" relates to yours. granted her situation is very bizarre and tragic for the both of them, it is not fair to say that any man who does not immediately jump ontop of his wife has to be gay. sex can be an incredibly daunting experience to even think about for someone who is easily made uncomfortable in situations which contest with personal space or even self control. a person who has achieved complete confidence in themselves By themselves, is naturally going to feel uneasy when that becomes compromised by the introduction of another person, whom youre therefore expected to trust as much as youve come to trust yourself. the reason intimacy is so easy for some people is because some people suffer certain insecurities in themselves which makes them better able and willing to trust others. privacy becomes a tremendously important virtue (physically and emotionally) for people who have forever been totally self sufficient and self motivated. my point is that if you trust yourself entirely, it is then an enormous task to trust someone else to do the same kinda right by you that you know yourself capable of doing for yourself. if that makes sense. heterosexual man here, speaking from personal experience.

 

[cat eyes]

i think you are just generalizing here. just because you cannot relate to his attitude does not mean that "any heterosexual man" relates to yours. granted her situation is very bizarre and tragic for the both of them, it is not fair to say that any man who does not immediately jump ontop of his wife has to be gay. sex can be an incredibly daunting experience to even think about for someone who is easily made uncomfortable in situations which contest with personal space or even self control. a person who has achieved complete confidence in themselves By themselves, is naturally going to feel uneasy when that becomes compromised by the introduction of another person, whom youre therefore expected to trust as much as youve come to trust yourself. the reason intimacy is so easy for some people is because some people suffer certain insecurities in themselves which makes them better able and willing to trust others. privacy becomes a tremendously important virtue (physically and emotionally) for people who have forever been totally self sufficient and self motivated. my point is that if you trust yourself entirely, it is then an enormous task to trust someone else to do the same kinda right by you that you know yourself capable of doing for yourself. if that makes sense. heterosexual man here, speaking from personal experience.

Hummm no it dose not really make sense brother... You are talking 4years here. Its a long time not 2have sex and be nervous about it and we only know as muslims that Allah created man to have sex with a woman. If not then, it dose sound odd.

 

[ژاله]

....and we only know as muslims that Allah created man to have sex with a woman.

:hmm: subhanAllah, i always heard that Allah created mankind to worship Him.
its sometimes good to read what we write, lest we write complete nonsense.

 

[youngsister]

Oh so you are saying i am giving bad advice. You know you are proving 2 me and everybody else that you are nothing only a back biter.. Sister must you keep on quoting my posts and responding to me. Let the sister decide who started the thread that my post is insensitive or not!!! Dont respond to me again if you know better.

Sister Gossamer skye has given nothing but good advice both medically and islamically (she is qualified to give medical advice) the only harsh words i read in this topic is from you, read your post again.

 

[ژاله]

^ youngsis, i agree with you cent per cent.

 

[cat eyes]

inna lilla hi wa inna ilayhi raajioun

subhaanAllah, please stop this bickering. This is a month of Ramadhan for Allah's Love and let us use this energy to make dua'a for sister and rest of the ummah.

sister, how did he divorce you? on the phone? did he divorce you thrice in one 'sitting'? Because if he divorced you thrice in one sitting then you can take the opinion of the scholars who say that divorce in such a manner only counts as one. Please have a look at the fatawas here

I would advice you to talk to knowledgeable person about your divorce issue

may Allah Ta'ala make things easier for you and set your affairs, ameen

If anyone targets me again. I will bite my tongue and wont respond inshallaah. I won't let shaytaan get the best of me. I will forgive them for what they believe there trying 2 achieve will happen! It won't 2 all of you who did not like what i said..may Allah make your imaan strong and be more open 2 peoples opinions and not judge them my intention was 2 be harsh so it might be easier for her to walk away from what would be a wasted life and get over him quick. It was not good advice 2lower her diginity and ask for him 2take her back when she did ALOT FOR HIM and was patient subhanallah. She went through enough. but i will hold my hands up if the thread starter didn't like them but i dön't need to explain my theories 2 any of you and dont know why i am doing.. Its pointless when its not even your thread. May Allah reward you anyway! Salaam.