Married Virgin

[Salahudeen]

Definitely could be a medical issue, firstly talk to your husband about it, the first step in solving the problem is to admit there's a problem. How can you solve a problem that doesn't exist. So talk to him about it openly and tell him what the problem is and then from there you can go to the solutions.

first solution for me would be the doctor to see if there's some kind of medial reason that could be fixed with drugs. For example low testosterone and libido levels are both causes for men not wanting to engage in intamacy with the opposite gender.

both can be fixed with medication, so just go get him checked out by the doctor your not the only couple to have this problem many people have this problem of a non sexual marriage, so there's many medications out on the market to deal with it. Just get him to your doctor and tell him the situation, then he can check your husband to see if he's low on anything.

if he is, the doc can top him up low/no sex drive, is common with many people so the doctor will know what to do.

 

[anonymous]

you all adviced me when i needed it i think its only fair I tell you of any updates. I am now divorced.... my husband surprised me in morroco to tell me that he wants to set me free because he loves me too much.

I am out for words my worlds completely shattered. He wants me to have a normal life and told me its time i started living my life. He said that he inflicted me with enough hardship. That he no longer wnats to see me living in this missery. That in the longrun this is for the best, that he fears Allah in regards how he treats me. I dont know what thats suppose to mean, he is my life. He keeps saying that this is for my happiness and its his first priority. I feel so broken, I didn't care if he ever made love to me why did it have to end this way.

He also promised me that he will never remarry..... Hearing him divorce me was a nightmare, if i ever beared any hardship anything at all none of it compared to hearing him divorce me as he was crying. That is the ultimate hardship, what made him ever believe that i was in hardship. As i watch my world crumbling down, i dont think i will ever be happy again but im sure Allah has plans for me that i dont know.

no food tastes, i can't sleep. who will meet him by the door with a smile everyday as he returns from work? who will wish him farewell as he leaves? who will look after him when he's sick?

who will ever love me as much as he did, who will lead me in my prayers as my husband? who will put food in my mouth so lovingly?

Who will lose sleep over my sickness at night, tending to my needs, pls make duas for me, my tears do not stop. How am I suppose to let him go?
Allahu musta'an.

 

[alcurad]

don't let him go then?

 

[ژاله]

you shouldnt have chosen divorce. is it complete, i mean all three?

 

[Muslim Woman]

:wa:

Bismilahi

I don't want to break a heart so beautiful, a heart that would die for me.

Did u talk to any doctor about his problem ?

Oh no ; I just read that you are divorced already. Have u finished ur Iddat time ? If not and if u really want to stay with him ; then tell him to withdraw divorce and consult with a doctor about his physical / mental problems.

 

[cat eyes]

you all adviced me when i needed it i think its only fair I tell you of any updates. I am now divorced.... my husband surprised me in morroco to tell me that he wants to set me free because he loves me too much.

I am out for words my worlds completely shattered. He wants me to have a normal life and told me its time i started living my life. He said that he inflicted me with enough hardship. That he no longer wnats to see me living in this missery. That in the longrun this is for the best, that he fears Allah in regards how he treats me. I dont know what thats suppose to mean, he is my life. He keeps saying that this is for my happiness and its his first priority. I feel so broken, I didn't care if he ever made love to me why did it have to end this way.

He also promised me that he will never remarry..... Hearing him divorce me was a nightmare, if i ever beared any hardship anything at all none of it compared to hearing him divorce me as he was crying. That is the ultimate hardship, what made him ever believe that i was in hardship. As i watch my world crumbling down, i dont think i will ever be happy again but im sure Allah has plans for me that i dont know.

no food tastes, i can't sleep. who will meet him by the door with a smile everyday as he returns from work? who will wish him farewell as he leaves? who will look after him when he's sick?

who will ever love me as much as he did, who will lead me in my prayers as my husband? who will put food in my mouth so lovingly?

Who will lose sleep over my sickness at night, tending to my needs, pls make duas for me, my tears do not stop. How am I suppose to let him go?
Allahu musta'an.

what foney crap is this he gave you?? i am sorry sister but he surely did not do justice with you at all!!! he did not make love to you in the 4years you were married and then he divorce's you just like that! this is to much now for any woman.. this is disgraceful! my blood is boiling. dose he actually realise the punishments in he grave for not doing justice with his wife?? dose he even know?? haha how religious is this guy. HE HAS NO TAQWA!!

and then he tells you he won't marry again. our beloved prophet mohammad pbuh said the one who dose not marry is not one of our ummah..

divorcing a good wife like you then. it says a lot.

 

[Najm]

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

SubhaanAllah! I never though this would be the outcome imsad

This is true love! I would have never divorced as long as the "issue"was clear.

If he loves you so much, he should have left the choice to you if you wanted to be with him.

May Allah protect you, and keep you steadfast. Ameen

FiAmaaniAllah

 

[Salahudeen]

you all adviced me when i needed it i think its only fair I tell you of any updates. I am now divorced.... my husband surprised me in morroco to tell me that he wants to set me free because he loves me too much.

I am out for words my worlds completely shattered. He wants me to have a normal life and told me its time i started living my life. He said that he inflicted me with enough hardship. That he no longer wnats to see me living in this missery. That in the longrun this is for the best, that he fears Allah in regards how he treats me. I dont know what thats suppose to mean, he is my life. He keeps saying that this is for my happiness and its his first priority. I feel so broken, I didn't care if he ever made love to me why did it have to end this way.

He also promised me that he will never remarry..... Hearing him divorce me was a nightmare, if i ever beared any hardship anything at all none of it compared to hearing him divorce me as he was crying. That is the ultimate hardship, what made him ever believe that i was in hardship. As i watch my world crumbling down, i dont think i will ever be happy again but im sure Allah has plans for me that i dont know.

no food tastes, i can't sleep. who will meet him by the door with a smile everyday as he returns from work? who will wish him farewell as he leaves? who will look after him when he's sick?

who will ever love me as much as he did, who will lead me in my prayers as my husband? who will put food in my mouth so lovingly?

Who will lose sleep over my sickness at night, tending to my needs, pls make duas for me, my tears do not stop. How am I suppose to let him go?
Allahu musta'an.

I didn't see that coming he made the wrong choice

So what was his official reason for divorcing you??

 

[جوري]

I think you should have an imam or someone contact him on your behalf, and let him know how you feel.. let him know that caring for you, also means your emotional well being not just physical well being.. I think you should get back together insha'Allah.. you are allowed to remarry..

pls let us know if you get re-married again, I was rather upset by your news today..do you think your family or someone coerced him into divorcing you?

la 7wala wla qiwta illa billah..

 

[Danah]

la 7wala wla qiwta illa billah
this is very sad indeed sis, May Allah help you to overcome that

He loved you soo much that he pushed himself strongly even when he himself couldn't bear living without you. You said that he divorced you while he was crying, that prove that he didn't want it to end that way. I think that is the true love! subhanAllah

what made him ever believe that i was in hardship.

He knows that any woman wants to live like any "married" woman and have children, even if you didn't speak, he thought that you are suffering in silence to not hurt him

I think that the best thing to do is to let someone reliable talk to him and tell him how you are suffering now and how you are really feeling about the divorce.

do you think your family or someone coerced him into divorcing you?

I think you have to consider that on your mind sis, I remember you said in your first post that your family was always asking you about why you didn't have any children yet, maybe they knew something about your situation with your husband recently!! May be he didn't want to make a problem between you your family and didn't mention that reason to you so he choose to let it go as he did!!!


May Allah reunite you two again sis, you will be in my duaa inshaAllah

 

[syilla]

Ya Allah ukhtee... i just read this. It makes me cry.

Don't worry ukhtee... Maybe theres a hikmaah in this... If theres still 'jodoh' between both of you...InshaAllah Allah swt will rejoin both of you.

Have sabr ukhtee... probably the distance will help both of you to rethink.

May Allah protect you and your ex-husband and grant you and your ex-husband happiness in this world and the hereafter.

 

[Snowflake]

I feel deeply for you sis. I know it won't make much difference, but I wish I could hug you right now.

But I believe this is the best for you sis. The pain is something you can't avoid going through. But you will get through it sweetheart. Sis, it is virtually impossible for a normal man not to have attempted to establish intimate relations with his wife. I don't want to say more at this point as I think you have enough to deal with already. Please be patient my dear sis. The Prophet (saw) said, Patience is at the first news of tragedy. And a wise man once said, "The wise behave at the first sign of tragedy as fools behaves later." Allah himself tell us He loves the sabiroon. Therefore my dear sis, bear your loss with patience and Allah will replace it with something better. Don't lose hope and think you can't be happy again. Or that you can't love again. Allah knows better, so leave those decisions up to Him. Grief is a process we all have to go through when loss occurs. But no one grieves for their loss forever my dear ukhti. It will get easier, InshaAllah. May Allah grant you peace and sabr. Ameen. (((((hugs))))))))

 

[anonymous]

im sorry 2 b blunt, but it seems like he is hiding something. did you ask him why he isn't getting married again? did you ask 4 a *proper* explanation. you seem innocent cos 4 years for married man is unrealistic.

may allah grant you patience and give your heart tranquility.

 

[convert]

im sorry 2 b blunt, but it seems like he is hiding something. did you ask him why he isn't getting married again? did you ask 4 a *proper* explanation. you seem innocent cos 4 years for married man is unrealistic.

may allah grant you patience and give your heart tranquility.

i agree with this poster. i have my suspicions what the issue might be but i will not speculate to avoid backbiting.

 

[جوري]

what foney crap is this he gave you?? i am sorry sister but he surely did not do justice with you at all!!! he did not make love to you in the 4years you were married and then he divorce's you just like that! this is to much now for any woman.. this is disgraceful! my blood is boiling. dose he actually realise the punishments in he grave for not doing justice with his wife?? dose he even know?? haha how religious is this guy. HE HAS NO TAQWA!!

and then he tells you he won't marry again. our beloved prophet mohammad pbuh said the one who dose not marry is not one of our ummah..

divorcing a good wife like you then. it says a lot.

I found this post insensitive sister! :hmm:

 

[cat eyes]

it is not a medical problem we can clearly see that, in the 4year's they were with eachother, was it so hard for him 2go 2 doctor get those tabletz perscribed for him. Not a big thing. There is not a tablet on this earth that can't treat things like this. I mean you see it all the time couple's at da doctor's an pharmacies wanting help for there problems with proper medication...Nah there is more to it. Has 2 be. I wont say anymore as i know your probably suffering a lot sis. Come on this forum more often get your mind off things! I would not ask that he should take you back. You have dignity and you should keep. You got nothng in the four years from him only crap treatment. Inshallaah you will find a real man. A man is not a man if he can't fufil his wives needs and give her children. I am purely disgusted. I really believed your family should have steped in when you were having these problems in the first place and its kinda sly that he didn't want this or mentiön to you but anyway you were young and you still are young. Just remember sister if a believer has any type of problem or issue with himself! There isen't any problem Allah almighty cant solve 4 him... There is many people sister with mental problemz an dramatic pasts but they ARE LIVING THERE LIFES. getting married, having kids, enjoying ramadan, they are living for otherz and not for themselves and that is a muslim. Crying only showed the cowardness and selfishness in him!!. Did should make it easier for you to move on an be wise. Loads of cuddles from me. XXMaryamXX.

 

[جوري]

it is not a medical problem we can clearly see that, in the 4year's they were with eachother, was it so hard for him 2go 2 doctor get those tabletz perscribed for him. Not a big thing. There is not a tablet on this earth that can't treat things like this.

There are many organic and psychological causes of impotence that can't be treated with tablets!

 

[cat eyes]

There are many organic and psychological causes of impotence that can't be treated with tablets!

There is loads of treatments but anyway you are no doctor 2 say a certain thing cannot be cured. And i dont believe its impotence anyway!!

 

[Adem Al-Albani]

Allah Knows Best.

I don't want to backbite.

 

[جوري]

There is loads of treatments but anyway you are no doctor 2 say a certain thing cannot be cured. And i dont believe its impotence anyway!!

but I am a doctor wal7mdllilah!

you have heard of hereditary hemochromatosis? or Klinefelter's syndrome, Prader-Willi syndrome, Huntington disease, cystic fibrosis, multiple endocrine neoplasia type 2, Gaucher disease, dialted cardiomyopathy, sick sinus syndrome? just to name a few? any number of things can cause impotence, whether psychological, genetic or medical-- it isn't for us to say.. just like you fancy that I am not a doctor, neither are you to speak with certainty on whether or not what he suffers has or doesn't have treatment!
I'd refrain from constantly passing out very bad advise to people!

Jazaki Allah khyran