Men at Home

[EllyDicious]

In what way do the Islamic men contribute to their home, family, children and wife?
Do they cook? Do house-chores? Wash the dishes? Iron ...etc?
Or they are the typical type of man who work all day to bring money home?

HOw does it work generally and for you personally ?
**************************

Most of the Muslim families I know here, are of the idea that men should work and wife has to do all the rest.
I'd be curious to know how it works over there.

 

[Beardo]

I'd say culture plays a bigger role in this than religion nowadays.

But Islamically, I'll just mention one thing... Whatever money the man earns belongs to the entire family. The money that the woman earns belongs to her and it is not permissible to question her about what she did with her own earnings.

 

[Cabdullahi]

In what way do the Islamic men contribute to their home, family, children and wife?
Do they cook? Do house-chores? Wash the dishes? Iron ...etc?
Or they are the typical type of man who work all day to bring money home?

HOw does it work generally and for you personally ?
**************************

Most of the Muslim families I know here, are of the idea that men should work and wife has to do all the rest.
I'd be curious to know how it works over there.

Just when i thought it couldnt get any worse...you've made this killer thread

Alhamdulilah as i am the only man at home, im the one always running to the grocery store to get things and most of the time i forget essential things which results to getting clipped around the ear

regarding cooking i make all my meals except lunch which my beloved mum makes

housechores...aah this is a tough one i do things like washing my clothes...cleaning my room....but the dishes and cleaning the house we have a wonderful team of females mashaAllah that are superb at this may Allah bless them all...they've given me trials at cleaning before but my job was not satisfactory they pardoned me and so i punched the air in excitement woohoo! No dish washing for me son!

 

[Cabdullahi]

What the men do in Albania is from the Albanian culture....its not islam..........i would advise you to research about the life of the prophet regarding what he did at home because that's islam.

 

[CosmicPathos]

I'd say culture plays a bigger role in this than religion nowadays.

But Islamically, I'll just mention one thing... Whatever money the man earns belongs to the entire family. The money that the woman earns belongs to her and it is not permissible to question her about what she did with her own earnings.

This is interesting. I would like to see evidence from Quran and Sunnah which states that whatever money a man earns belongs to the family.

 

[aadil77]

This is interesting. I would like to see evidence from Quran and Sunnah which states that whatever money a man earns belongs to the family.

what he means is that he will have to use it on the family, whereas a woman can keep her money to herself as she does not have to provide for the family

 

[EllyDicious]

what he means is that he will have to use it on the family, whereas a woman can keep her money to herself as she does not have to provide for the family

I guess he's trying to know where it is specified in the Quran. I'm sure he knows what it means.

 

[CosmicPathos]

what he means is that he will have to use it on the family, whereas a woman can keep her money to herself as she does not have to provide for the family

walaikum assalam,

does a man have to spend ALL of his money on his family and cannot keep his money (or most part of it after spending on family's necessities) to himself just like how a woman would be able to keep her money to herself? That was my question if it was unclear.

w salam

 

[marwen]

walaikum assalam,

does a man have to spend ALL of his money on his family and cannot keep his money (or most part of it after spending on family's necessities) to himself just like how a woman would be able to keep her money to herself? That was my question if it was unclear.

w salam

If a man holds a family, he must satisfy all the needs of his family (food, clothes, school for children, ..) then he can spend the rest for himself. I'm sure you're ok about that.
The woman is not asked to care about her family needs (I mean money), but she can help if she want.

 

[CosmicPathos]

If a man holds a family, he must satisfy all the needs of his family (food, clothes, school for children, ..) then he can spend the rest for himself. I'm sure you're ok about that.
The woman is not asked to care about her family needs (I mean money), but she can help if she want.

But how do we define what constitutes a need and what constitutes a want? For some women, they think it is their need to have an eyeliner. Others (my mom for example) do not think it is their need. So how do we objectively define what is need and what is want?

 

[marwen]

So how do we objectively define what is need and what is want?

wow ! that's really a hard question :/

There is not always a clear frontier between needs and wants. You have just to figure it out for each case. No clear definition.

Let's say needs are requirements that are important for living a normal life (food, water, good health, medicaments, education).
And wants are the other (extra) things. Sure there is some things in common (we cannot judge if it's a need or a desire),
In fact all "needs" are "wants", but not every thing wanted is a "need" ("wants" include "needs").

In a nutshell : A man will only be blamed if he risked the life (the normal life) of a member in his custody(wife,children) by refusing to satisfy one of his requirements. But If he refused to bring something for the family and the absence of that thing is not harmful (like a $2000 coat) , then I think he's not blamed.

 

[PouringRain]

In what way do the Islamic men contribute to their home, family, children and wife?
Do they cook? Do house-chores? Wash the dishes? Iron ...etc?
Or they are the typical type of man who work all day to bring money home?

HOw does it work generally and for you personally ?
**************************

Most of the Muslim families I know here, are of the idea that men should work and wife has to do all the rest.
I'd be curious to know how it works over there.

I am not Muslim, but can I answer? I like answering your questions.

Personally, I believe that if the man is working outside of the home and the wife is in the home then it is her responsibility to do everything in the home. Her duty should be to make life easier and more pleasant for her husband. He should be able to come home to a clean house, a happy wife, happy children, and just relax. If both the husband and the wife are working outside of the home, then each should contribute within the home as they are able. Marriage is about a partnership. It should never be about who is doing more or who is working harder. Both should be contributing. If the woman is home full time, then that is her job. Her husband should not be expected to come home after working outside the home and then be put to work or burdened with her problems from the day. He has had his own problems. Additionally, both should be appreciative of what each other does. And if one is weak, and not able to do something, then the other should be there to step in. That is what a partnership is all about. Both giving their all. Sometimes one may be weak and other times it may reverse. Resentment doesn't get things done. If the husband is not working and the wife is the primary breadwinner, then he is in the role of a stay at home spouse and it should be his responsibility to work in the home. He should not expect his wife to work outside the home and then come home and take care of the house as well, while he is lazy. If he is not able to work due to a disability then it is different. In a case such as that, he should do what things he can and the wife may have to take on greater responsibilities.

Obviously, I don't believe in a one size fits all. Ideally, I'd love to be a stay at home wife and mother, but unfortunately life has not afforded me that. For me, I love more than anything to be in that role and to care for a husband, children, and home. I like to clean. LOL I like to cook and garde and sew and homeschool and do so many, many things.

 

[أبو سليمان عمر]

It has been narrated on the authority of Ibn 'Umar that the Prophet (May be upon him) said: Beware. every one of you is a shepherd and every one is answerable with regard to his flock. The Caliph is a shepherd over the people and shall be questioned about his subjects (as to how he conducted their affairs). A man is a guardian over the members of his family and shal be questioned about them (as to how he looked after their physical and moral well-being). A woman is a guardian over the household of her husband and his children and shall be questioned about them (as to how she managed the household and brought up the children). A slave is a guardian over the property of his master and shall be questioned about it (as to how he safeguarded his trust). Beware, every one of you is a guardian and every one of you shall be questioned with regard to his trust.
muslim No. 4496

 

[EllyDicious]

I am not Muslim, but can I answer?
Personally, I believe that if the man is working outside of the home and the wife is in the home then it is her responsibility to do everything in the home. Her duty should be to make life easier and more pleasant for her husband. He should be able to come home to a clean house, a happy wife, happy children, and just relax. If both the husband and the wife are working outside of the home, then each should contribute within the home as they are able. Marriage is about a partnership. It should never be about who is doing more or who is working harder. Both should be contributing. If the woman is home full time, then that is her job. Her husband should not be expected to come home after working outside the home and then be put to work or burdened with her problems from the day. He has had his own problems. Additionally, both should be appreciative of what each other does. And if one is weak, and not able to do something, then the other should be there to step in. That is what a partnership is all about. Both giving their all. Sometimes one may be weak and other times it may reverse. Resentment doesn't get things done. If the husband is not working and the wife is the primary breadwinner, then he is in the role of a stay at home spouse and it should be his responsibility to work in the home. He should not expect his wife to work outside the home and then come home and take care of the house as well, while he is lazy. If he is not able to work due to a disability then it is different. In a case such as that, he should do what things he can and the wife may have to take on greater responsibilities.

I totally agree with every written line!

Ideally, I'd love to be a stay at home wife and mother, but unfortunately life has not afforded me that. For me, I love more than anything to be in that role and to care for a husband, children, and home. I like to clean. LOL I like to cook and garde and sew and homeschool and do so many, many things.

Ironically, many of us get/have what we don't want/wish. You may be a working woman who would actually prefer to be a housewife, whole many housewives wish they stayed outside of home and work as much as possible.
We happen to be in a continuous test for things that might be against our will.

 

[EllyDicious]

It has been narrated on the authority of Ibn 'Umar that the Prophet (May be upon him) said: Beware. every one of you is a shepherd and every one is answerable with regard to his flock. The Caliph is a shepherd over the people and shall be questioned about his subjects (as to how he conducted their affairs). A man is a guardian over the members of his family and shal be questioned about them (as to how he looked after their physical and moral well-being). A woman is a guardian over the household of her husband and his children and shall be questioned about them (as to how she managed the household and brought up the children). A slave is a guardian over the property of his master and shall be questioned about it (as to how he safeguarded his trust). Beware, every one of you is a guardian and every one of you shall be questioned with regard to his trust.
muslim No. 4496

What you quoted puts women automatically in the role of housewives.
Does it imply that they're the only responsible family member for the way they hold the house ?

 

[أبو سليمان عمر]

What you quoted puts women automatically in the role of housewives.
Does it imply that they're the only responsible family member for the way they hold the house ?

what i posted is what the prophet peace be upon him said
as for is she the only responsible family member i wouldnt say that for both have they own role to play
but we shouldnt forget if the wife is at home and the husband is at work most of the time the women bring up the kids is a big thing since she is at home most of the time with them
for example
man is at work woman lets kids befriend and hang out with the kids who are troublemakers or watch lots of tv doesnt feed them who is responsible for this??? the man is at work doesnt know whats going on... but say he finds out he is responsible then to try to fix it hope it makes sense what im trying to say

 

[ardianto]

In what way do the Islamic men contribute to their home, family, children and wife?
Do they cook? Do house-chores? Wash the dishes? Iron ...etc?
Or they are the typical type of man who work all day to bring money home?

HOw does it work generally and for you personally ?
**************************

Most of the Muslim families I know here, are of the idea that men should work and wife has to do all the rest.
I'd be curious to know how it works over there.

Husband's duty is work and making money for the family. Wife's duty is domestic duty like cooking, washing. etc.

But, wife is allowed to work outside and makes money as long as she doesn't ignore her duty as a housewife. Also, there is no prohibition for the husband to clean up the house, washing, cooking or do other domestic duties.

However, it is strictly prohibited if the husband is able to work but chose to stay at home and force the wife to work and makes money.

 

[syilla]

I'm sure they are others who hold their own views lol :X


Well i guess whether you like doing it or you don't...but probably at the same time they'll help out but not when they don't have to do it :hiding:

hopefully i'm making sense