Men desire for more than one woman

[AntiKarateKid]

Bah! I chose "one is enough" but am having second thoughts. :rollseyes

Maybe just one from each race eh?

 

[AntiKarateKid]

Just wanted to know if any of the brothers have any self retraint and patience.................. I mean i am always being told to have subur (cos of my husbands desires for other women)............... Can it not be that the man has subur instead.............why always the women?:bump1:

Without getting into too much detail, our bodies are able to handle more than one mate. Females... have more trouble to say the least.

 

[wth1257]

this is a woman's dream - not actual reality

A man might be tempted, if he loves her will will set it aside though and not gawk or want her.

 

[IbnAbdulHakim]

you know i've heard lecturers n stuff say that polygamy is allowed due to Allahs knowledge that men will never be satisfied by one woman - they'll always desire more.

and i also got VERY annoyed at hearing that, our beloved Rasool sallallahi alaihi wasallaam was indeed veeeery satisfied with Khadija radhiallahu anha, he only married others out of taqwa and obedience to Allaah! and that was my previous point in this thread.


Sisters with bad experiences should think twice and brothers seriously, i mean SERIOUSLY unless you marry a wife you didnt really wanna marry, why on EARTH should one not be enough...

 

[sister herb]

I see this thread sexist. What if I would ask about women desire (do you think it is diffefent than men?)? Islam gives to men right to marry 4 women at the same time but only if they can treat them equally. Who could do that in real? What that is to do with desire?

For me it is right of religion not any kind of desire.

p.s. I have been the second wife; it wasn´t any kind of problem to me but his the first it was

 

[amazing2009]

Assalamualaikum
One is more than enough

 

[syilla]

muezin : i don't know...i'm outta of ideas huhu

This thread is not really about polygynous marriage. Is just that i'm a bit curious how many really out there believe that there are guys who focus having desire only for one woman

 

[Muhaba]

I understood option 3 as "desiring only one even if he's attracted to others." so i voted for that one. there are guys who will love only the one he's inlove with and intends to marry and will lower his gaze when he sees other women. his true love is the only one he desires and doesn't want anyone else as a wife. there are even guys who, if they get divorced for some reason, they don't want to marry anyone else. It doesn't mean they have a problem. that's just their nature. I also heard of a bird (i'm not sure which bird) that has only one mate throughout life. if he/she dies then this bird will live the rest of their lives alone.

Personally, I think that Allah gave men the right to marry more than one woman so that women without husbands and widows and divorcees could get a chance to get married. I don't think Allah did it because He cares more about men's desires and not women's. Afterall, we are all His creation and He cares about all of us equally. If men want more than one woman, and women want to be the only one, why should Allah favor a man's desire over a woman's?

If a woman can't have children or is ill or is old, etc, in the non-islamic system, the man will have to divorce this woman in order to marry another. If this woman can't get another husband, she ends up being alone for the rest of her life. But in the Islamic system, the man can keep her as his wife and at the same time marry another woman and then treat them equally. While the woman has to share her husband, she still has a husband and doesn't have to live alone for the rest of her life. Which is better? I think that the Islamic way is better.

Islam is about sacrifice. Women have to sacrifice their wishes. For example, if they see another sister in trouble (for example a widow or divorced woman) they should get her married to their husband, provided that she is sincere and doesn't try to steal the man from the first wife. The husband should also be God-fearing and should treat both wives equally. This would, insha-Allah, create a society where noone is in trouble.

 

[Ali_008]

Its very evident in the Islamic World that men are content with just one woman. Though Allah has permitted the man to have more than one wife at a time but at the same time, how many men do you know or see who have multiple spouses?? Most men marry only one and its one in thousands of men who have to go for a second or a third or a fourth. Firstly, its very difficult for every man to find the perfect girl of his taste and if a man finds that girl then he doesn't need to look around. Even married men's gazes start wandering when they aren't happy with their wives. So if a man is a good husband and has a pious and obedient wife then he'll be definitely satisfied with her. Even Rasoolullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said "One of the most precious things of this world is a righteous wife."

And if the husband's good and wife's bad, he can either have sabr with her or try again :statisfie . A man desiring more women than wife can be called a problem when the wife is good but still he isn't satisfied with her. Either those men should find their kind of woman and get married or nothing can be done about them.

If I'll find my ideal girl (inshallah :thumbs_up), I won't desire any other woman.

 

[north_malaysian]

Bah! I chose "one is enough" but am having second thoughts. :rollseyes

Maybe just one from each race eh?

lol

one Arab, one Asian, one European and one African?

 

[Sahabiyaat]

ha ha

and i guess if i want that, ill have to just marry a mixed race brother, whose family is from all over the globe! 4 in 1 lol.

 

[Muezzin]

you know i've heard lecturers n stuff say that polygamy is allowed due to Allahs knowledge that men will never be satisfied by one woman - they'll always desire more.

and i also got VERY annoyed at hearing that, our beloved Rasool sallallahi alaihi wasallaam was indeed veeeery satisfied with Khadija radhiallahu anha, he only married others out of taqwa and obedience to Allaah! and that was my previous point in this thread.


Sisters with bad experiences should think twice and brothers seriously, i mean SERIOUSLY unless you marry a wife you didnt really wanna marry, why on EARTH should one not be enough...

Exactly.

Exactly.

Exactly.

I wish blokes would remember that the point of polygamy is not to satisfy lust. The Prophet (sallalahu alayhi wasalam) didn't have multiple wives for that reason, so neither should any other Muslim men.

Personally, one wife would be more than enough thank you very much.

Just wanted to know if any of the brothers have any self retraint and patience.................. I mean i am always being told to have subur (cos of my husbands desires for other women)............... Can it not be that the man has subur instead.............why always the women?:bump1:

The husband should not be putting his wife in such a situation in the first place. The husband should observe the Islamic teaching of lowering the gaze etc, especially because he is actually married. How would the husband feel were he to endure the wife's desires for other men? And more to the point the Prophet (SAW) never put any of his wives through this sort of thing.

because...that is just how it is.

No. Anyone who told you that is either wrong or has misunderstood.

 

[Sahabiyaat]

ah so 2% of men do have self restraint...wow....


you learn something new everyday :rollseyes

 

[Zahida]

@ sister Harb................... Sis it is always difficult when your husband choses to marry again for whatever reason................... For the first wif eit destroys everything her self esteem confidence and her belief in herself it destroys her womanhood everything.............................

My husband remarried and it totally destroyed me as a person. At the time it was very hard for me and still is but InshaAllah slowly i have come to terms with it. He is not faithful to me but not just me his other wife is in the same position.......................:bump1:

 

[Muezzin]

ah so 2% of men do have self restraint...wow....


you learn something new everyday :rollseyes

I don't understand the mysandry, given that the majority of males who voted opted for the first poll option.

 

[nebula]

lol

one Arab, one Asian, one European and one African?

haha thats funny lol

:thumbs_up

 

[doorster]

Men desire for more than one woman

• how do we know this?
• how do we know that no woman ever desires more than one man?
• how do we know that it is not a taboo made-up by a misogynist macho-man?
• how do we know that this macho man is not the follower of some man who translated "companions most pure" (who are) "well matched" (to you) into virgin maidens with gigantic bosoms (thus effectively excluding women in janat from getting "companions most pure". is the measure of a woman/maiden's beauty, the size of her mammary glands? did he think that they will be nursing babies in paradise? or that their is some other use for giant bosoms (as yet unknown to me at 49)?

if it is absolutely true that "Men desire for more than one woman" am I an aberration for loving one wife? am I a deviant for not ever propositioning every or any woman I come across?

I do not know even one born Muslim[**] --(exception being a Mullah from a Birmingham Mosque who had a secret 2nd wife which ended in multiple murders and lot of fitnah)-- of my acquaintance who has more than one wife (I did know a man who married a second wife.... 3 years after his first wife passed away he married a widow).

However, I have heard of and know of many a "convert" to a certain hizb (lecturers in "Islam" and self-proclaimed leaders/scholars of Muslims) who moved Eastward and have more than 2 wives

wasalam alalmuslimeen!
​

[**] Practising Muslim as opposed to a nominal Muslim who may at will discard/abandon an older wife and replace her with a younger model/version under the guise of "practising Sunnah" of multiple wives

 

[ragdollcat1982]

Men can be monogomous and never stray from their spouse. It is called self control and self discipline. My paternal grandparents have been married for 45 years and my grandfather has never looked at another woman!!

 

[أبو سليمان عمر]

PERSONAL I think dealing with one is hard enough lol jk one should be enough

 

[Ansariyah]

My father's gaze has always been fixed at my gorgeous mother's eyes, whom he calls his life.

I don't believe that these men who want 4 women have truly experienced the beauty of Love. Truth is u can only love one. So men like that aren't after love.....or true companionship...but that's up to them..wateva rocks their boat.