Mentally Strong People: The 13 Things They Avoid

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Jazahka Allah. I will be printing some of these articles. Very useful in daily life. Thank you for sharing. When i implement the advice am sure you will be rewarded in sha Allah. Ameen.
 
Why Most People Dream and Only Some Do: The Go-Getter Theory

I remember it like it was yesterday. I just won the biggest marble from a boy three years younger than me, and my “best buddy” back then was talking to me on how much he liked his new moped. (He wasn’t legally old enough to drive it on the street, yet he did).

He got it from his father who, I believe, up till now still has a bicycle shop.

We used to talk about things we’d like to do. He was going to have his own motor-shop one day, while all I could think about at that time was my new marble. (It was huge!) I wanted to win more marbles, get rich and …

Now let’s fast forward to present tense. My best friend isn’t my friend anymore since we went our separate ways towards different schools and places. Recently, I saw a different classmate from back then and he told me my friend is now working eight to five at the assembly line of a car factory, doing the most repetitive job possible, for no specific reason whatsoever.

Not really what he had hoped for at first.

What differs those who are naturally set to succeed, from others who are not?
Why does one “just do it” and complete a job, while the other never even gets to it, or quits at the first speed bump?

It boggles my mind why some entrepreneurs make it big while others settle for mediocre or close to nothing results!

What differentiates each of them?

Lately, I’ve met a lot of business men and students set to create a startup, and I started noticing a few differences…

It’s not education, skills or talent; It’s passion, drive and motivation. Go-getters are passionate about what they do. They wake up in the morning fired up with enthusiasm coupled with unshakeable belief that they will make life work the way they want.

People who get stuff done strive for “good enough” and go on to the next. Quit being a perfectionist…
I believe that perfectionism is a bad “quality” to have and shouldn’t be in the dictionary of any entrepreneur. If you are a perfectionist, you will try to turn every detail into a Sistine chapel and burn out. Good enough is key in getting things done. If you try to deliver “perfection”, you’ll never reach your goal.
People who do things that are good enough end up accomplishing much more than those who chase after the illusion of perfection.

Coincidentally, most successful entrepreneurs I’ve met so far are the ones who didn’t pass school with flying colours but are the ones who barely or didn’t get through. The ones who had just enough grades to go on to the next year. Why would you want to put in all this effort to obtain an excess of grades that are useless to you? Just get enough and spend the rest of your time on stuff you enjoy.

The Go-Getter is the person who acts now, not tomorrow, and thinks in short-terms.
They are proactive, not reactive. They shape their own destiny and never allow themselves to fall prey to the so-called external circumstances.
Always be asking yourself: “What is the smallest next step”, “What do I need to do now, to get things going”

People who can think of the next actionable task and are able to be specific about it, are the ones who will get to it and deal with it.

They act now and execute specific steps.
The best time to plant a tree is twenty years ago.

The second best time is now.


Example: Don’t think “I need to market my product to bloggers” but think in multiple specific steps:

  1. I need to get 10 names of bloggers relevant to my subject
  2. I’m going to get the names at website x
  3. What are the top 2 specific key features of my startup?
  4. Write 3 custom mails about those features
  5. Send it to them TODAY
Achievers hate to let themselves down
I’m not talking about failing. Fail big & fast. Fail forward. Don’t sweat it.

I’m talking about the mental state of those people who’d rather die trying, than give up half way. The main motivation of achievers comes from within and is not nourished from the outside. For most people, it’s easy to give up promises you make to yourself (look at all the failed new year’s resolutions) but for achievers, that’s the hardest thing to do. Walking around with the feeling that they didn’t give it all they’ve got. The feeling of “what if I went all the way”, “what if…”

The Go-Getter loves what he does (and delegates the rest)
Key to getting off your feet and kicking some ass is simply doing what you’re good at and what you love. Dump/outsource/delegate the rest. Be able to set your ego aside and let someone better than you take over the parts you suck at.

It is not education, skills nor talent; It is passion, drive and motivation.

Go-getters are passionate about what they do. They wake up in the morning fired up with enthusiasm coupled with an unshakable belief that they will make life work the way they want.

Are you a go-getter or a star-gazer? Are you going all the way or already preparing a plan B? Are you constantly talking about your idea, your exit strategy or why something just won’t work, or are you the one kicking it and working it out?

Either way, whatever is happening to you, your business, your life or your idea, whether good or bad, most likely…

It’s all your fault.

Source
 
They say "fortune favours the brave" and though this may have some truth in it - I honestly believe that the "brave favour Allah" and it is through HIS mercy that we are tested with wealth and good life.

Scimi
 
Ways to Boost Your Confidence

Confidence. It's that intangible thing which makes the difference between feeling scared and feeling powerful. When you feel confident, you are unstoppable and it seems like your path is laid out clearly in front of you. When you lack confidence, however, you can feel afraid, and sometimes all you can see ahead is the possibility of failure.

At some stage in our lives almost all of us will need to conquer our lack of confidence. (I've certainly been there!) The question is, how do you do it?

Oftentimes coaching and transformation can bring about an increased level of confidence. (One of the many great by-products of the process.) While this does not happen overnight and there is no magic pill, the following are some strategies I have found that work wonders when working with clients.

1. Get out of your comfort zone. When you do the things that you think you can't, your comfort zone will continue to expand. Even doing something seemingly small every day will lead you to something bigger. You will grow and will begin to feel unstoppable. Just take that first step.

2. Be yourself -- unapologetically. Remember, you can't control others or what they think. Wayne Dyer believes that if you ask 30 people their opinions of you, you are likely to find you have 30 different reputations. Strive to observe and witness others' opinions, rather than being attached to them. Find a personal style that feels great to you. Dress well, in the clothing you feel is very you. Live your life the way you feel is right.

3. Acknowledge your fears.
Fear is normal. The key is to not let it debilitate you. Recognizing your fears will not make them come true. It's best to acknowledge and address the fears rather than not face them. Write out what you are afraid of and what you will do to mitigate those fears.

4. Let go of the idea of perfectionism. Striving to be perfect can cause self-doubt (as well as "stuckness"). Give yourself permission to make mistakes. Not allowing yourself to make mistakes will halt your growth. Overthinking can do the same.

5. Keep reminders of your awesomeness. Jack Canfield says, "Self-acknowledgment and appreciation are what give you the insights and awareness to move forward toward higher goals and accomplishments." Make a list of the qualities that are fabulously YOU. Acknowledge your own achievements. Revisit this list when you feel down.

6. Find what makes you feel confident -- physically. I recently worked with a woman who said that she literally gets a physical feeling when she feels confident. (I agree; confidence is not just in the mind.) I asked her to pay attention to what she is doing when she feels that feeling, and do more of that. One thing she came up with was listening to a specific song in the car. When she listens to it she feels awesome. Simple.

7. Be mindful of your body language. This takes a level of self-awareness and presence. As I took dance classes throughout my childhood, I frequently heard the teacher announce, "Heads up and shoulders back! Stand up straight and tall!" Give it a shot. Walk and move with purpose. It makes a world of difference rather than walking slouched with our heads down, which makes us feel low and sends out a negative impression to the people around you. Watch for folded arms and slouched posture, and for fidgeting with your hands. Smile and make eye contact.

8. Practice assertiveness. When you address your own needs, miracles happen. So ask for what you want. I dare you.

9. Think confidently.
Placing your focus on the worst possible outcome can cause you unnecessary anxiety, and stop you taking action. Use your energy to acknowledge that there are an endless number of outcomes. What you focus on expands. See the results you want and they are likely to happen.

10. Forgive yourself when you're beating yourself up, and remember that you can begin a new day. Your past does not predict your future.

Implementing some of these items can help you overcome the limitations that a lack of confidence imposes on you, and guide you as you find the power within to start changing your world. Feeling more confident is one part of living a happier, more fulfilling life.

Source
 
In the case of any person whose judgment is really deserving of confidence, how has it become so? Because he has kept his mind open to criticism of his opinions and conduct. Because it has been his practice to listen to all that could be said against him; to profit by as much of it as was just, and expound to himself, and upon occasion to others, the fallacy of what was fallacious. Because he has felt, that the only way in which a human being can make some approach to knowing the whole of a subject, is by hearing what can be said about it by persons of every variety of opinion, and studying all modes in which it can be looked at by every character of mind. No wise man ever acquired his wisdom in any mode but this; nor is it in the nature of human intellect to become wise in any other manner.

John Stuart Mill,On Liberty
 
How Can I Improve My Self-Esteem?

Self-esteem is made up of the thoughts, feelings, and opinions we have about ourselves. That means self-esteem isn't fixed. It can change, depending on the way we think. Over time, habits of negative thinking about ourselves can lower self-esteem.

Sometimes, people don't even realize that they're thinking so negatively about themselves. But once you're aware of it, and know that the way you think is up to you, you can begin to change the way you think. And changing the way you think about yourself changes the way you feel about yourself.

So if you want to feel better about yourself, try some of these things:

Manage your inner critic. Notice the critical things you say to yourself. Would you talk to a best friend like that? A harsh inner voice just tears us down. If you're in the habit of thinking self-critically, re-train yourself by rewording these negative unkind thoughts into more helpful feedback.

Focus on what goes well for you. Are you so used to focusing on your problems that they're all you see? Next time you catch yourself dwelling on problems or complaints about yourself or your day, find something positive to counter it. Each day, write down three good things about yourself, and/or three things that went well that day because of your action or effort.

Aim for effort rather than perfection. Some people get held back by their own pressure to be perfect. They lose out because they don't try. If you think, "I won't audition for the play because I probably won't get the lead," it's guaranteed that role will go to someone else.

View mistakes as learning opportunities. Accept that you will make mistakes. Everyone does. They're part of learning. Instead of thinking, "I always mess up" remind yourself that it's not about always, just this specific situation. What can you do differently next time?

Edit thoughts that get you feeling inferior. Do you often compare yourself with others and come up feeling less accomplished or less talented? Notice what you're thinking. Something like: "She's so much better than I am. I'm no good at basketball. I should just stop playing" leads to feeling inferior, not to feeling good about yourself.

Remind yourself that everyone excels at different things. Focus on what you do well, and cheer on others for their success. Thinking more like this: "She's a great basketball player — but the truth is, I'm a better musician than athlete. Still, I'll keep playing because I enjoy it." helps you accept yourself and make the best of the situation.

Try new things, and give yourself credit. Experiment with different activities to help you get in touch with your talents. Then take pride in your new skills. Think about the good results. For example: I signed up for track and found out I'm pretty fast! These positive thoughts become good opinions of yourself, and add up to self-esteem.

Recognize what you can change and what you can't. If you realize that you're unhappy with something about yourself that you can change (like getting to a healthy weight), start today. If it's something you can't change (like your height), work on accepting it. Obsessing about our "flaws" can really skew your opinion of yourself and bring down your self-esteem. Most of the time, other people don't even notice these things!

Set goals. Think about what you'd like to accomplish. Then make a plan for how to do it. Stick with your plan, and keep track of your progress. Train your inner voice to remind you of what you are accomplishing. For example: "I've been following my plan to exercise every day for 45 minutes. I feel good that I've kept my promise to myself. I know I can keep it up."

Take pride in your opinions and ideas. Don't be afraid to voice them. If someone disagrees, it's not a reflection on your worth or your intelligence. That person just sees things differently from you.

Accept compliments. When self-esteem is low, it's easy to overlook the good things people say about us. We don't believe it when someone says a nice thing. Instead, we think, "...yeah, but I'm not all that great..." and we brush off the compliment. Instead, let yourself absorb a compliment, appreciate it, and take it seriously. Give sincere compliments, too.

Make a contribution. Tutor a classmate who's having trouble, help clean up your neighborhood, participate in a walkathon for a good cause, or volunteer your time in some other way. When you can see that what you do makes a difference, it builds your positive opinion of yourself, and makes you feel good. That's self-esteem.

Exercise! Being active and fit helps you feel good about yourself. You'll relieve stress, and be healthier, too!

Relax and have fun. Do you ever think stuff like "I'd have more friends if I were more attractive"? Thoughts like these can set you on a path to low self-esteem because they focus on what's not perfect instead of making the best of what is. Spend time with the people you care about, do the things you love, and focus on what's good. That helps you feel good about yourself, just as you are.

Source
 
Motivational Quotes and Tips for Hard Times

1. Accepting Life’s Challenges
“The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop the other people.”
–Randy Pausch



In every life there are great challenges, and in every challenge there are great doses of life to be lived.

Whether you judge a challenge to be a problem or an opportunity says more about you than about the challenge itself. The way you choose to see the world is the way your world will be. This is what gives life its magic; it’s a continuous, dynamic phenomenon that becomes exactly what you choose to make it.

Do something extraordinary. Accept life’s opportunities. Realize that if you never step up to a challenge that’s a bit over your head, you’ll never know how tall you truly are. Rise to each challenge and continue adding value to the ever-growing possibilities that await your brilliance.

2. Working Hard
“There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.” –Beverly Sills


When you’re young you have this fantasy that super successful adults – writers, musicians, doctors, businessmen, etc. – have some kind of magical chest of tools allowing them to build masterpieces that are larger than life. You fanaticize about a hammer of creativity, a pliers of efficiency, a saw of wisdom, and so on and so forth.

But then you grow up and you realize, for the most part, everyone is working with the same set of imperfect, rusty, old tools – desire, commitment, honesty, kindness, love, persistence, etc. And as flawed and bent as they may be, they work wonders against the odds when you truly put them to the test.

3. Choosing Wisely
“It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” –J.K. Rowling


The universe – people, books, life experience, etc. – can only give you good advice, but you ultimately decide what to do with it.

Life is ticking away every second. The worst thing is spending your entire life drowning slowly and not being able to convince yourself that you are in full control, and that you can easily save yourself by simply standing up.

This is your life, made up entirely of your choices, your actions, your thoughts, your relationships, etc. Someday you will either decide to save yourself or remain unsaved forever.

4. Growing from Problems
“That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” –Friedrich Nietzsche


Times of great difficulty are times of great opportunity. These times may not seem ideal at first, but they usually provide keen insight into ideas of great value. When you are surrounded by problems, you are simultaneously given an opportunity to provide valuable solutions.

When times are good and everything is comfortably in order, it’s easy to become complacent and forget how skillful and resourceful you are capable of being. Troubled times are necessary evils that push you forward, because they eventually end, and the lessons and strengths you gain from them last a lifetime.

5. Laughing it Off
“Sometimes crying or laughing are the only options left, and laughing feels better right now.” –Veronica Roth


If you wish to measure your success in life, don’t bother analyzing your bank account, or your job description, or your relationship status, or your weight, or any other superficial badge society loves to pin on your resume. Just count the moments you spend peacefully in laughter. That’s what success is – living happily in your own way, and laughing at the highs, the lows, and all the ridiculous moments in between.

Do what you need to do, but don’t take yourself too seriously. Laugh whenever you can because you can. There’s honestly nothing like deep breaths after a good chuckle – nothing in the whole wide world like a sore tummy and cheeks for all the right reasons.

6. Staying True to Yourself
“I think the reward for conformity is that everyone likes you except yourself.” –Rita Mae Brown


To make a positive difference in your life you must sometimes be different and take the road less traveled. It requires courage to go against the grain like this, especially when the people around you are confused and irritated by your choices; but such courage can bring great rewards when you stick to your guns.

Where others see only shadows of uncertainty, look for glimmers of opportunity. When you encounter rudeness and irritation, generously offer polite doses of confident patience. When you bump up against arrogance, dilute the negativity with your own sincere, self-assured humility.

Just because everyone is heading in a one direction doesn’t mean you must go that way too. On the contrary, it’s a valuable opportunity for you to step aside and figure out where you truly want to go.

7. Fighting for Your Dreams
“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” –Eleanor Roosevelt


When things don’t go right, it doesn’t mean you have to go wrong along with them. Goals and dreams are kind of like breathing – once you give up, there’s no hope left. Don’t do that to yourself.

It’s always too early to quit. You must continue breathing, even if it’s just a series of short, shallow breaths. Continue putting forth even the smallest efforts to sustain your dreams. Accept the fact that if you fight through the challenges, there is always a chance you might lose, but if you do not fight at all, you have already lost.

8. Deciding to Change
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” –Mark Twain


If you’re not where you want to be right now, take the time to visualize yourself in the place you want to be and take the first step in that direction. You may not be able to change your destination in a day, but you can change your direction right now.

Keep moving along this new path and it will eventually lead you to your destination.

9. Being Present
“It’s being here now that’s important. There’s no past and there’s no future. Time is a very misleading thing. All there is ever, is the now. We can gain experience from the past, but we can’t relive it; and we can hope for the future, but we don’t know if there is one.” –George Harrison


Do not wish your moments away. Do not ruin today by focusing on another time and place. There is only now; realize how rich you are in it. It stands to reason that if you learn to live well you will eventually pass on well too, in complete peace. The skills are the same: being present in the moment, and brave, and thankful for all the opportunities you have.

Make your time count. Right now you are creating history – your legacy. Don’t let it slip by without being aware of it. Life works in a strange way: You want something and you work and wait and work and wait, and feel like it’s taking forever to come. Then it happens and it’s over and all you want to do is relive all the great memories you made along the way.

Happiness is the journey. Open your eyes. Don’t miss it.

10. Being Thankful
“Keep your face always toward the sunshine, and shadows will fall behind you.” –Walt Whitman


You are right here, right now, breathing. Enjoy it. You’ve got nothing to do today except to smile.

Happiness is valuing what you have, and enjoying the people, places, objects and events in your life for what they are. It’s not about changing and achieving all the time, it’s about being and appreciating. And you can nearly always enjoy the things happening around you if you make up your mind firmly that you will.

Source
 
1. Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves. You don’t see mentally strong people feeling sorry for their circumstances or dwelling on the way they’ve been mistreated. They have learned to take responsibility for their actions and outcomes, and they have an inherent understanding of the fact that frequently life is not fair. They are able to emerge from trying circumstances with self-awareness and gratitude for the lessons learned. When a situation turns out badly, they respond with phrases such as “Oh, well.” Or perhaps simply, “Next!”

2. Give Away Their Power. Mentally strong people avoid giving others the power to make them feel inferior or bad. They understand they are in control of their actions and emotions. They know their strength is in their ability to manage the way they respond.

3. Shy Away from Change. Mentally strong people embrace change and they welcome challenge. Their biggest “fear,” if they have one, is not of the unknown, but of becoming complacent and stagnant. An environment of change and even uncertainty can energize a mentally strong person and bring out their best.

4. Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control. Mentally strong people don’t complain (much) about bad traffic, lost luggage, or especially about other people, as they recognize that all of these factors are generally beyond their control. In a bad situation, they recognize that the one thing they can always control is their own response and attitude, and they use these attributes well.

5. Worry About Pleasing Others. Know any people pleasers? Or, conversely, people who go out of their way to dis-please others as a way of reinforcing an image of strength? Neither position is a good one. A mentally strong person strives to be kind and fair and to please others where appropriate, but is unafraid to speak up. They are able to withstand the possibility that someone will get upset and will navigate the situation, wherever possible, with grace.

6. Fear Taking Calculated Risks. A mentally strong person is willing to take calculated risks. This is a different thing entirely than jumping headlong into foolish risks. But with mental strength, an individual can weigh the risks and benefits thoroughly, and will fully assess the potential downsides and even the worst-case scenarios before they take action.

7. Dwell on the Past. There is strength in acknowledging the past and especially in acknowledging the things learned from past experiences—but a mentally strong person is able to avoid miring their mental energy in past disappointments or in fantasies of the “glory days” gone by. They invest the majority of their energy in creating an optimal present and future.

8. Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over. We all know the definition of insanity, right? It’s when we take the same actions again and again while hoping for a different and better outcome than we’ve gotten before. A mentally strong person accepts full responsibility for past behavior and is willing to learn from mistakes. Research shows that the ability to be self-reflective in an accurate and productive way is one of the greatest strengths of spectacularly successful executives and entrepreneurs.

9. Resent Other People’s Success. It takes strength of character to feel genuine joy and excitement for other people’s success. Mentally strong people have this ability. They don’t become jealous or resentful when others succeed (although they may take close notes on what the individual did well). They are willing to work hard for their own chances at success, without relying on shortcuts.

10. Give Up After Failure. Every failure is a chance to improve. Even the greatest entrepreneurs are willing to admit that their early efforts invariably brought many failures. Mentally strong people are willing to fail again and again, if necessary, as long as the learning experience from every “failure” can bring them closer to their ultimate goals.

11. Fear Alone Time. Mentally strong people enjoy and even treasure the time they spend alone. They use their downtime to reflect, to plan, and to be productive. Most importantly, they don’t depend on others to shore up their happiness and moods. They can be happy with others, and they can also be happy alone.

12. Feel the World Owes Them Anything. Particularly in the current economy, executives and employees at every level are gaining the realization that the world does not owe them a salary, a benefits package and a comfortable life, regardless of their preparation and schooling. Mentally strong people enter the world prepared to work and succeed on their merits, at every stage of the game.

13. Expect Immediate Results. Whether it’s a workout plan, a nutritional regimen, or starting a business, mentally strong people are “in it for the long haul”. They know better than to expect immediate results. They apply their energy and time in measured doses and they celebrate each milestone and increment of success on the way. They have “staying power.” And they understand that genuine changes take time. Do you have mental strength? Are there elements on this list you need more of? With thanks to Amy Morin, I would like to reinforce my own abilities further in each of these areas today. How about you?

did you profile my personality to get this analysis ??? :D

Scimi
 
9 Ways Mentally Strong People Prevent Self-Pity From Sabotaging Their Success

Whether you’ve failed to close a major deal, or you’re overwhelmed by a looming deadline, throwing a pity party won’t help. In fact, feeling sorry for yourself can become downright self-destructive. It makes overcoming adversity difficult – if not impossible – and it keeps you stuck.

Mentally strong people refuse to allow self-pity to sabotage their success. Instead, they use life’s inevitable hardships as a way to grow stronger and become better. Here’s how mentally strong people avoid the self-pity trap:

1. They Face their Feelings
Mentally strong people allow themselves to experience emotions like grief, disappointment, and loneliness head-on. They don’t distract themselves from uncomfortable emotions by questioning whether their problems are fair, or by convincing themselves they’ve suffered more than those around them. They know the best way to deal with discomfort is to just get through it.

2. They Recognize Warning Signs of the Downward Spiral
When you focus on everything that is going wrong in your life, your thoughts become exaggeratedly negative. And those negative thoughts will negatively affect your behavior if you dwell on them. The combination of negative thinking and inactivity fuels further feelings of self-pity. Mentally strong people recognize when they’re at risk of becoming caught in this downward spiral and they take action to prevent themselves from living a pitiful life.

3. They Question Their Perceptions
Our emotional state influences how we perceive reality. When you’re feeling sorry for yourself, you’re likely to focus on the bad things going on in your life, while overlooking the good. Mentally strong people question whether their thoughts represent reality.

They ask themselves questions like, “Is my luck always bad?” or “Is my entire life really ruined?” Asking themselves these types of questions allows them to recognize when their outlook isn’t realistic. This allows them to create a more realistic perception of their situation.

4. They Turn their Negative Thoughts into Behavioral Experiments
Mentally strong people don’t allow their negative thinking to turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy. Instead, when they find themselves thinking things like, “I could never put on a presentation as good as this one,” they respond by saying, “Challenge accepted!” They perform behavioral experiments to prove their negative thinking wrong.

5. They Reserve their Resources for Productive Activities
Every minute you spend hosting your own pity party is 60 seconds you delay working on a solution. Mentally strong people refuse to waste their precious time and energy dwelling on their misery. Instead, they devote their finite resources to productive activities that can improve their situation.

6. They Practice Gratitude
It’s impossible to feel self-pity and gratitude at the same time. While self-pity is about thinking, “I deserve better,” gratitude is about thinking, “I have more than I need.” Mentally strong people recognize all that they have to be grateful for in life – right down to the fresh air to breathe and clean water to drink.

7. They Help Other People
It’s hard to feel sorry for yourself when you’re helping those who are less fortunate. Problems like demanding customers or declining sales don’t seem so bad when you’re reminded that there are people who lack food and shelter. Rather than ruminate on their own inconveniences, mentally strong people strive to improve the lives of others.

8. They Refuse to Complain
Venting to other people about the magnitude of your problems fuels feelings of self-pity. Mentally strong people don’t try to gain sympathy from others by complaining about their difficult circumstances. Instead, they either take action to make things better, or they accept the situations that they can’t change.

9. They Maintain an Optimistic Outlook
Some of life’s problems can’t be prevented nor solved. The loss of loved ones, natural disasters, and certain health conditions are problems that most people will face at one time or another. Mentally strong people keep an optimistic outlook about their ability to handle whatever life throws their way.

Build Mental Strength
Developing mental strength is similar to building physical strength. If you wanted to become physically strong you’d need good habits – like lifting weights. But you’d also need to get rid of bad habits, like eating too many sweets. Developing mental strength requires good habits – and it also requires you to give up destructive habits, like self-pity.

Everyone has the ability to build mental strength. By developing an increased ability to regulate your thoughts, manage your emotions and behave productively despite your circumstances, you’ll grow stronger and become better.

Source
 
We all need nuggets of inspiration (Islamic Inspirational Quotes) to keep us going and what better place to reach for this inspiration than Islam? While the well of knowledge in Islam is infinite, here we’ve collected some of the inspirational words that we love at our Productive Muslim virtual headquarters. Some of these treasures are from the Noble Qur’an, sayings of our beloved Prophet
, supplications, and from our modern Islamic scholars, philosophers, poets and artists. Enjoy and more importantly, be inspired!

Islam and Productivity


1.) “I asked Allah’s Messenger
which deed was best.” He (the Holy Prophet) replied: “The prayer at its appointed hour”. [Sahih Muslim]


2.) “If you want to focus more on Allah in your prayers, focus more on Him outside your prayers.” Yasmin Moga



3.) The Prophet
used to seek refuge in Allah
swt.png
from laziness that he used to mention it daily in this dua: “O Allah, I take refuge in You from anxiety and sorrow, weakness and laziness, miserliness and cowardice, the burden of debts and from being over powered by men.” [Sahih Bukhari]


4.) The Prophet
said, “By Him in Whose Hand my life is, it is better for anyone of you to take a rope and cut the wood (from the forest) and carry it over his back and sell it (as a means of earning his living) rather than to ask a person for something and that person may give him or not.” [Sahih Bukhari]


5.) One of the greatest pieces of advice given by the Prophet
was: “The most beloved actions to Allah are those performed consistently, even if they are few.” [Sahih Bukhari]


6.) “And whoever fears Allah – He will make for him a way out and will provide for him from where he does not expect. And whoever relies upon Allah – then He is sufficient for him. Indeed, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Allah has already set for everything a [decreed] extent.” [Qur’an, 65: 2-3]


Get Motivated


7.) “Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves.” [Qur’an, 13:11]


8.) “After asking Allah to guide you to the straight path, don’t just stand there … start walking!” – Albaz Poetry


9.) “Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” – Rumi


10.) “The capacity to learn is a gift; the ability to learn is a skill; the willingness to learn is a choice.” Via Islamic Thoughts


11.) “Allah knows exactly what to give you to help you return to Him. The events in your life are purposeful, appropriate & non-random.” – Shaykh Hamza Yusuf


12.) “My sin burdened me heavily. But when I measured it against Your Grace, O Lord, Your forgiveness came out greater.” – Imam Shafii


13.) (Ibn al-Jawzi) To achieve any objective, we need two things:



  1. Nobel himma (motivation) – will overcome the obstruction
  2. Right strategy.
14.) “O my Lord! Open for me my chest (grant me self-confidence, contentment, and boldness).” [Qur’an, 20:25]


15.) “And if there comes to you from Satan an evil suggestion, then seek refuge in Allah. Indeed, He is the Hearing, the Knowing.” [Qur’an, 41:36]


16.) “And whoever fears Allah – He will make for him a way out and will provide for him from where he does not expect. And whoever relies upon Allah – then He is sufficient for him. Indeed, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Allah has already set for everything a [decreed] extent.” [Qur’an, 65: 2-3]


17.) “Strange are the matters of believers. For him there is good in all his affairs, and this is so only for the believer. When something pleasing happens to him, he is grateful (shukr), and that is good for him; and when something displeasing happens to him he is enduring patience (sabr) and that is good for him.” [Sahih Muslim]


Feel Better


18.) Abu Yahya Suhaib b. Sinan said that the Prophet
said: “No man fills a container worse than his stomach. A few morsels that keep his back upright are sufficient for him. If he has to, then he should keep one-third for food, one-third for drink and one-third for breathing.” [At-Tirmidhi]


19.) Anas reported that the Prophet
said, “It a Muslim plants a tree or sows seeds, and then a bird, or a person or an animal eats from it, it is regarded as a charitable gift (sadaqah) for him.” [Sahih Bukhari]


Work Better


20.) “There are two blessings which many people lose: (They are) health and free time for doing good.” [Sahih Bukhari]


21.) The Prophet
said:


“Take benefit of five before five:
Your youth before your old age,
Your health before your sickness,
Your wealth before your poverty,
Your free-time before your preoccupation and
Your life before your death.”
[Mustadrak Al-Haakim]


22.) “If you are grateful, I shall certainly give you increase” [Qur’an, 14:7]


23.) “Actions are by their intentions” [Sahih Bukhari and Muslim]


24.) “Then when you have taken a decision, put your trust in Allah.” [Qur’an, 3:159]


Help Others


25.) “None of you truly believes (in Allah and His religion) until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.” [Sahih Bukhari and Muslim]


26.) “Meet the people in such a manner that if you die, they should weep for you, and if you live, they should long for you.” – Ali Ibn Abi Talib



27.) “If Allah puts anyone in the position of authority over the Muslims’ affairs and he secludes himself (from them), not fulfilling their needs, wants, and poverty, Allah will keep Himself away from him, not fulfilling his need, want, and poverty.” [Abu Dawud]


28.) The Prophet
said, “If anyone fulfills his brother’s needs, Allah will fulfill his needs; if one relieves a Muslim of his troubles, Allah will relieve his troubles on the Day of Resurrection.” [Sahih Bukhari and Muslim]


29.) Abdullah ibn ‘Abbas
reported that the Prophet
said, “The believer is not he who eats his fill while his neighbor is hungry.” (Authenticated by Al-Albani, Al-Adab Al-Mufrad Al-Bukhari, Hadith 112)


30.) The Prophet
said: “It is also charity to utter a good word.” [Sahih Bukhari and Muslim]

SOURCE:
http://productivemuslim.com/30-islamic-inspirational-quotes/
 
‘PACES’: A Guide to Being A Happier Muslim

The first thing that will come to your mind after reading the headline is: “What is “PACES”? Well, before I share what each letter stands for, let us first define “happiness”, discuss what being a happier Muslim involves and also explain the importance of the word “PACES”.

First off, happiness could be defined as “contentment, inner peace, and inner strength.” From my personal experience as well as my education as a counselor, I believe that the real source of our happiness is having a positive relationship with Allah
.
I also believe that a secondary source of happiness is our ability to use coping skills to cope with life’s difficulties.

Example: You wake up for Fajr prayer and you are really tired, but you get up because you know it’s your duty as a Muslim. Though nobody is there to see you except Allah
and the angels, you still have that faith in your heart and you are praying to Allah
just for His sake, and not to be seen by others. This is where your real happiness comes from.


Now, becoming a happier Muslim means that you learn to recognize your negative feelings and then find ways to shift those negative feelings back to inner peace. When you can train yourself to return to inner peace, you are on your way to experiencing higher levels of happiness.

Example: When someone says something that bothers me or hurts my feelings, I have trained myself to pause, act like I am thinking about what they have just said (when I am actually calming down and returning to inner peace), and then I decide how to respond (such as by saying, “I will need some time to think about that.”)

Explore “PACES”

The word “PACES” is important because it means “single steps.” We must take “single steps” in order to reach any goal, especially the goal of being a happier Muslim. “PACES” is also a verb that means “to walk back and forth.” This is important because your journey to being a happier Muslim will go back and forth. You will feel like you have improved yourself (progressed), and then you will feel like you have regressed or moved backwards. This is totally normal. Going back and forth is part of the journey to becoming the best ‘YOU’ possible. The phrase “pace yourself” is also important. “Pace yourself” means to slow down and to accomplish your goals in steps.

What “P” Stands For

The “P” in “PACES” stands for: 1. Praying, 2. Patience, 3. Problem-Solving, and 4. Positivity.

1. Pray Calling on Allah
, asking Him for what you want, is a form of worship. In the verses and hadith quoted below, for example, Allah
urges us to call on Him. What a relief and honor it is to hear our Lord encourage us to call on Him. This shows His care and love for us.

“And your Lord said, “Call on Me, I will respond to you.” [Qur’an: Chapter 40, Verse 60]

“It is You we worship, and You we ask for help.”
[Qur’an: Chapter 1, Verse 5] “And seek help through patience and prayer, and indeed, it is difficult except for the humbly submissive [to Allah].” [Quran: Chapter 2, Verse 45]

Abu Huraira narrated that Allah’s Messenger
said: “When it is the last third of the night, our Lord, the Blessed, the Superior, descends every night to the heaven of the world and says, ‘Is there anyone who invokes Me (demand anything from Me), that I may respond to his invocation; Is there anyone who asks Me for something that I may give (it to) him; Is there anyone who asks My forgiveness that I may forgive him?’” [Sahih al-Bukhari]

Action Tip:
If you are ever feeling unhappy or facing any problem, please do the obvious thing that we often forget to do! Make dua to Allah
! Admit that only He can truly help you! This article has a lot of ideas, but in the end, none of these ideas will be of help unless Allah
allows them to help you!

2. Be Patient “…and be patient over what befalls you. Indeed, [all] that is of the matters [requiring] determination.” [Qur’an: Chapter 31, Verse 17]

Be patient when life is not perfect. Be patient with yourself when you are in a bad mood or you’ve made a mistake. Be patient with your negative feelings, accept that they are there, and patiently find ways to move past them at your own pace.

Action Tip: Pay attention to when you are starting to feel impatient or angry about a situation. Then tell yourself to be patient, for the sake of Allah
.

3. Problem-Solve “…and consult them in the matter. And when you have decided, then rely upon Allah. Indeed, Allah loves those who rely [upon Him].” [Qur’an: Chapter 3, Verse 159]

Focus on finding solutions to your problems instead of just focusing on your problems. Consulting other people is a great way to generate ideas.

Action Tip: The next time you are facing a problem that is affecting your inner peace, start brainstorming possible solutions/ideas. Perhaps write them down and consult with others.

4. Be Positive
Abu Yahya Suhaib bin Sinan
reported that the Messenger of Allah
said: “How wonderful is the case of a believer; there is good for him in everything and this applies only to a believer. If prosperity attends him, he expresses gratitude to Allah and that is good for him; and if adversity befalls him, he endures it patiently and that is better for him.” [Muslim]

Train yourself to focus on the positive in every situation. Everything is good for the believer.

Example: You are a teacher working with a difficult student. Look for positive aspects/resources. Perhaps the student’s parents are willing to do whatever they can to help. Perhaps the student likes certain subjects and behaves better when learning those subjects. Perhaps the student has a classmate who works well with the student. Use these resources! When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

What “A” Stands For
The “A” stands for: 1. Appreciate and 2. Accept.

“And [remember] when your Lord proclaimed, ‘If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favor].” [Qur’an: Chapter 14, Verse 7]

Abu Hurairah
narrated that the Messenger of Allah
said: “Whoever is not grateful to the people, he is not grateful to Allah.” [Jami` at-Tirmidhi]

Focus on what you appreciate in life and in others. Appreciate as much as possible. Express this appreciation to Allah
and to people you appreciate.
When you are feeling down, shift your energy and focus to what you genuinely appreciate in your life.

Action Tip: Every night, think of at least three things that you are feeling grateful to Allah
for. It could be things specific to that day or general things, but it should be GENUINE. One thing that I am always grateful for is the health of my children. It could be anything that you really feel. (I originally read this simple activity in the book “Happy for No Reason” by Marcy Shimoff). Gratitude is an incredible way to feel connected with Allah because you know that He gave you those things. Remember, all help is from Allah
. Every good thing you have is from Allah
.

“So be patient with gracious patience.” [Qur’an: Chapter 70, Verse 5]

Accept that life is challenging and that it is normal to face hardships and to feel down sometimes. To accept does not mean to approve, it means to understand that we are only human, we are not perfect, and that this world is not always easy.

What “C” Stands For

The “C” stands for: Coping and being Calm. Cope and Be Calm

“Surely Allah does not change the conditions that a people are in until they change that which is within themselves.”
[Qur’an: Chapter 13, Verse 11]

Find ways to cope with stress. Find ways that help you to remain calm. The calm that I am referring to is a strong sense of inner peace. Examples of coping ideas are: writing, visiting a neighbor, playing sports, taking deep breaths, drinking a glass of water, reading inspirational quotes or poetry, talking to a caring person, sipping hot tea, etc.

Action Tip:
Write a list of coping activities that help you cope with stress. Train yourself to use these ideas the next time you are feeling stressed.

What “E” Stands For
The “E” stands for: Exercise.

Exercise is an excellent way to cope with stress. Exercise is not an option but a must in order to have good health. Daily exercise is best. Exercise releases chemicals called endorphins that actually cause you to feel happier.

Action Tip: Schedule time each day for exercise. Find an “exercise buddy” if you can.

What “S” Stands For

The “S” stands for: Self-Strength, Self-Awareness and Self-Study

Trust yourself. Value yourself. Know yourself. You don’t have to be perfect and you don’t have to know everything, but you have positive qualities and strengths. Use them! Develop your self-confidence by learning from your life’s experiences—both the good and the bad.

Action Tip: Write a list of your personal strengths and review them regularly.

Self-awareness means that you remember yourself in all situations. It means that you become aware of your thoughts, feelings, and actions.
This is extremely important, because many counseling experts believe that your thoughts cause your feelings, and your feelings cause your actions. Be aware of your inner feelings and learn to control them. If you can learn to control your feelings, then this skill will lead to better actions that lead to a happier life.

Also, learn to put your happiness first (without contradicting the teachings of Islam, of course). Putting your happiness first means that you make decisions that promote your happiness, rather than living life passively. Don’t “lose yourself” in the outer world, in other people’s problems, or in things that bother you. If you have a negative feeling, accept that feeling, be patient with yourself, and find ways to get over that hurdle. Sometimes if you just say out loud, “I feel angry (sad, hurt, etc.),” that can take the power of out of your negative feeling, and then you can resolve the situation more effectively.

Action Tip: Fully acknowledge and state your negative feelings to yourself. This will help you face them more honestly and to overcome them more effectively.

Self-study means that you need to observe yourself and discover methods that bring you happiness. Observe what foods make you feel happy, what habits promote your happiness, etc. Understand that you know yourself better than other people know you; therefore, other people may not understand your choices, because they are not you! Do what is right for you, as long as it is not displeasing to Allah
.


Action Tip:
Keep a journal of foods, people, activities and other things that promote your happiness.

Source
 
10 Life Lessons People Learn Too Late

Before you know it you’ll be asking, “How did it get so late so soon?” So take time to figure yourself out. Take time to realize what you want and need. Take time to take risks. Take time to love, laugh, cry, learn, and forgive. Life is shorter than it often seems.

Here are ten things you need to know, before it’s too late:

This moment is your life. – Your life is not between the moments of your birth and death. Your life is between now and your next breath. The present – the here and now – is all the life you ever get. So live each moment in full, in kindness and peace, without fear and regret. And do the best you can with what you have in this moment; because that is all you can ever expect of anyone, including yourself.

A lifetime isn’t very long. – This is your life, and you’ve got to fight for it. Fight for what’s right. Fight for what you believe in. Fight for what’s important to you. Fight for the people you love, and never forget to tell them how much they mean to you. Realize that right now you’re lucky because you still have a chance. So stop for a moment and think. Whatever you still need to do, start doing it today. There are only so many tomorrows.

The sacrifices you make today will pay dividends in the future. – When it comes to working hard to achieve a dream – earning a degree, building a business, or any other personal achievement that takes time and commitment – one thing you have to ask yourself is: “Am I willing to live a few years of my life like many people won’t, so I can spend the rest of my life like many people can’t?”

When you procrastinate, you become a slave to yesterday. – But when you are proactive, it’s as if yesterday is a kind friend that helps take a load off your back. So do something right now that your future self will thank you for. Trust me, tomorrow you’ll be happy you started today.

Failures are only lessons. – Good things come to those who still hope even though they’ve been disappointed, to those who still believe even though they’ve tasted failure, to those who still love even though they’ve been hurt. So never regret anything that has happened in your life; it cannot be changed, undone or forgotten. Take it all as lessons learned and move on with grace.

You are your most important relationship. – Happiness is when you feel good about yourself without feeling the need for anyone else’s approval. You must first have a healthy relationship with yourself before you can have a healthy relationship with others. You have to feel worthwhile and acceptable in your own eyes, so that you’ll be able to look confidently into the eyes of the people around you and connect with them.

A person’s actions speak the truth. – You’re going to come across people in your life who will say all the right words at all the right times; but in the end, it’s always their actions you should judge them by. So pay attention to what people do. Their actions will tell you everything you need to know.

Small acts of kindness can make the world a better place. – Smile at people who look like they are having a rough day. Be kind to them. Kindness is the only investment that never fails. And wherever there is a human being, there’s an opportunity for kindness. Learn to give, even if it’s just a smile, not because you have too much, but because you understand there are so many others who feel like they have nothing at all.

Behind every beautiful life, there has been some kind of pain. – You trip and you fall, you make mistakes and you fail, but you stand strong through it all – you live and you learn. You’re human, not perfect. You been wounded, not defeated. Think of what a priceless gift it is to grow through these experiences – to breathe, to think, to struggle, and to overcome challenges in the pursuit of the things you love. Yes, sometimes you will encounter heartache along the way, but that’s a small price to pay for immeasurable moments of love and joy. Which is why you must keep stepping forward even when it hurts, because you know the inner strength that has carried you this far can carry you the rest of the way.

Time and experience heals pain. – Several years ago when I asked my grandmother about overcoming pain, this is how she explained it to me: Look at the circles below. The black circles represent our relative life experiences. Mine is larger because I am older and have experienced more in my lifetime. The smaller red circles represent a negative event in our lives. Assume we both experienced the same exact event, whatever the nature. Notice that the negative event circles are the same size for each of us; but also notice what percentage of the area they occupy in each of the black circles. Your negative event seems much larger to you because it is a greater percentage of your total life experiences. I am not diminishing the importance of this event; I simply have a different perspective on it. What you need to understand is that an overwhelmingly painful event in your life right now will one day be part of your much larger past and not nearly as significant as it seems.
negativelifeexperiencejpgresize5002C325-1.jpg

Source
 

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