Mixed Marriages...

[Al-Zaara]

Selam aleykum,

It's with a heavy heart I read how some of you gals 'can't say No"'... It's just so saddening, it's wrong in every way possible. InshaAllah things will become better for you!

Elhamdulillah, my parents aren't like that and I have been raised to always have a choice.

I think I'd be very open to the idea of marrying someone outside my culture, it would require lots of work to make the relationship strong and working. Like any other marriage, just that it would feel more challenging when you meet a whole new culture. I already speak 5 languages and have come in touch with many cultures, and I'm not even nearly satisfied, I wanna know more languages, more different kinds of people, see more places... I love mixed (cultures, races) families and marriages.

 

[Re.TiReD]

I think I'd be very open to the idea of marrying someone outside my culture, it would require lots of work to make the relationship strong and working. Like any other marriage, just that it would feel more challenging when you meet a whole new culture. I already speak 5 languages and have come in touch with many cultures, and I'm not even nearly satisfied, I wanna know more languages, more different kinds of people, see more places... I love mixed (cultures, races) families and marriages.

:wasalamex

Masha'Allah thats fab ^^

Some cultures and the lifestyles are just so rich its amazing masha'Allah.

I think the only prob for me would be doing something wrong by mistake and insulting the elders :exhausted because every culture has diff things they regard as right or wrong. Like seriously, it's scary. I imagine there'd be a list of do's and dont but insha'Allah get used to it

 

[Soulja Girl]

Wentworth Miller?

^Whats Wentworth Miller got to do wiv this topic sis? :hmm:

 

[Ansariyah]

^Whats Wentworth Miller got to do wiv this topic sis? :hmm:

Everything. I've never heard anyone who's as mixed as he is.

His father is African-American,Jamaican,German,English,Jewish/ (mother: Russian,French,Dutch,Syrian,Lebanese.

 

[Ummu Sufyaan]

I'll explain to Abu that this person, although not Baki could just be the best thing for me insha'Allah. And which father doesnt want his daughter to be happy?

LOL...it took me a while to get what baki meant ;D
lol but i think away to convince him is to look at it logically, ask him what you've got to lose...i mean you usually do background checks yeh...and by that you can usually tell if the dude/dudette is good/bad...so yeah if i were in your shoes, i would explain that we would have nothing to loose because you do your research and find out the dude is good--->then you take the next step...
OR you do you background check and find put the dude isnt suitable--->go your separate ways...

and i agree with bro abu sayyad, esp the bolded part:

Dooon't tell you're dad things along the lines of love or emotions..it won't work! Give him some rational explanation why a marriage to the different culture bro is good. And get your mom on your side, she's the key to changing your dad's heart.

:thumbs_up


okay back OT...just had to add that :-[

 

[Intisar]

I don't wanna marry outta my culture, too much trouble and I find people of my culture more easier to get a long with. Inshaa'Allaah I want my children to grow up knowing their language, and usually with the kids being half something else, Islamically they take the father's side. So if I were a man, I might consider it, but I just find being with a person who comes from the same background, speaks the same language, and generally understands you better makes a marriage that much more easier.

I don't understand why people think that breaking cultural barriers actually makes a marriage easier. That's completely flawed and wrong, in most cases there are many hardships that come along with it and as with anything it's very hard to remain patient.

For others, I say go for it, as for me, no thanks I'd rather stick with my own culture.

And no, I'm not doing it to please my parents, but because I've witnessed some things and I just feel strongly about keeping it in my culture.

 

[Al-Zaara]

Selam aleykum, sis

That's cool, your opinion is competely valid! Though I didn't understand this:

Inshaa'Allaah I want my children to grow up knowing their language, and usually with the kids being half something else, Islamically they take the father's side.

Their father's side about what?

 

[Olive]

Everything. I've never heard anyone who's as mixed as he is.

His father is African-American,Jamaican,German,English,Jewish/ (mother: Russian,French,Dutch,Syrian,Lebanese.

Woah... :X

How is that possible? :skeleton:

 

[Woodrow]

Woah... :X

How is that possible? :skeleton:

If each of a persons parents is a different nationality, the person is equal parts of 2 different nationality. If the Grand parents were each of a different nationaily the person is of 4 nationality, if the Great Grand parents were of different nationality you have a minimum mixture of 8 nationalities.

Then think in terms of the grandparents and great grandparents being of mixed nationality and the number of inherited cultures becomes staggering.

This is often the case here in America. America is a mixture of inherited cultures and races, there is no true American race or Culture except for the Native American people, which are very few left.

 

[Olive]

Oh... I get it now. Thnx

 

[Re.TiReD]

LOL...it took me a while to get what baki meant ;D

Ureedu bebsitayn wa Bizza

lol but i think away to convince him is to look at it logically, ask him what you've got to lose...i mean you usually do background checks yeh...and by that you can usually tell if the dude/dudette is good/bad...so yeah if i were in your shoes, i would explain that we would have nothing to loose because you do your research and find out the dude is good--->then you take the next step...
OR you do you background check and find put the dude isnt suitable--->go your separate ways...

PM coming your way insha'Allah honey.

and i agree with bro abu sayyad, esp the bolded part:

:thumbs_up

I'd rather be bonked repeatedly over the head by baa than say something like that to Abu so I'm alright there lol :-[

 

[Intisar]

Selam aleykum, sis

That's cool, your opinion is competely valid! Though I didn't understand this:

Their father's side about what?

Well in Islam you are what your father is, according to lineage. So if I were to get married to a man from another race I'm afraid that it'd be harder for them to learn my language. They'd just follow their fathers. I'd rather be married to someone of the same culture, so that his does not override mine since we are of the same culture. Fahamtu?

 

[S_87]

I'll explain to Abu that this person, although not Baki could just be the best thing for me insha'Allah. And which father doesnt want his daughter to be happy?

Yeh I've read it, and yeh you're right. No harm in trying though huh ;p

and if you get a reply saying youre thinking with your heart and how do you know they will be the best person for you then let me know

inshaAllah your father will accept, after all your cultures are similirish right and u both live in the same country so its not near impossible to find out about him inshaAllah.

 

[Re.TiReD]

and if you get a reply saying youre thinking with your heart and how do you know they will be the best person for you then let me know

inshaAllah your father will accept, after all your cultures are similirish right and u both live in the same country so its not near impossible to find out about him inshaAllah.

Abuuuuu....what have I got to lose? Like seriously, where's the harm in actually considering this bro? Not like I wanna marry yet anyway, I wanna complete my degree....So lets look into it insha'Allah. I'll make Istikharah and thats it....1...2..3....Bismillah!

Woooooooooot!

But for real, I doubt he'll say that....He might comment on the cultures though buuutt...That bridge has yet to come

WassalamuAlaykum

 

[Al-Zaara]

Well in Islam you are what your father is, according to lineage. So if I were to get married to a man from another race I'm afraid that it'd be harder for them to learn my language. They'd just follow their fathers. I'd rather be married to someone of the same culture, so that his does not override mine since we are of the same culture. Fahamtu?

That's definitely not the case, those things are predominantly decided according to the culture. I do not speak Turkish, which is my father's language. I speak Albanian, my mother's. That's why I'm a mixture, I have both cultures, and not only that, but Finnish and Swedish too 'cause I've been raised here. It's up to the parents what they do!

It's deffo not "Islamic", 'cause sometimes people mix what is Arabic or whatever else, to be "Islamic" too. =)

 

[Re.TiReD]

AssalamuAlaykum

I agree with you Al-Zaara.

Plus, maybe I'm just being naive but I think there'd have to be some sort of mutual agreement between the both of you and he wouldnt necassarily force his language on the children. Wallahu A'lam. That's @ Ameena, I mean you could come to some sort of agreement. Language doesnt have to be a barrier.

WassalamuAlaykum

 

[Woodrow]

I keep thinking of my youngest daughter when she got married 25 or so years ago. Her husband did not speak English he only spoke Urdu, Bengali, Hindi, German and Farsi. My daughter only spoke English, Arabic, and Spanish plus a little Vietnamese.

We all predicted a disaster. So far they are still married and the kids are almost normal, but they speak, English, Urdu and Spanish. Urdu is what is spoken in the home. My daughter did learn Urdu.

Of course all of them are familiar with Qur'anic Arabic and my Grandson is doing his best to be a Hafiz before he reaches 10 years old.

 

[Intisar]

AssalamuAlaykum

I agree with you Al-Zaara.

Plus, maybe I'm just being naive but I think there'd have to be some sort of mutual agreement between the both of you and he wouldnt necassarily force his language on the children. Wallahu A'lam. That's @ Ameena, I mean you could come to some sort of agreement. Language doesnt have to be a barrier.

WassalamuAlaykum

I am a bit stubborn when it comes to interracial marriage, for myself, so I wouldn't even wanna come across that problem at all. I'ma stick to my own culture inshaa'Allaah.

That's definitely not the case, those things are predominantly decided according to the culture. I do not speak Turkish, which is my father's language. I speak Albanian, my mother's. That's why I'm a mixture, I have both cultures, and not only that, but Finnish and Swedish too 'cause I've been raised here. It's up to the parents what they do!

It's deffo not "Islamic", 'cause sometimes people mix what is Arabic or whatever else, to be "Islamic" too. =)

I don't get what you mean by this? Do you mean following your father's lineage is not ''Islamic'', cause it definitely is. According to Islam, you are what your father is.

 

[Al-Zaara]

I don't get what you mean by this? Do you mean following your father's lineage is not ''Islamic'', cause it definitely is. According to Islam, you are what your father is.

Sister, what you are saying is, "Islamically", if my father is an black American and my mother is an white English, then I'm a black American girl, completely not caring what my mother's lineage is? Is that what you are saying?

 

[islamirama]

Culture and nationalism has divided this ummah. People stick to their own culture like there's no tomorrow, i got news for you people. All of your culture isn't so great, and has many shirkful things in it. Quit being slaves of your culture and become slaves of Islam. Until you learn to accept others like your own, you'll never be true believers. No wonder i hate arabs, desi, and so many other ignorant cultural fools.