My first day of university, the day after that, and part of today, (this week) I was crushing on an ahiska turkish girl (russian turk)...my mother kept warning me to stay away from her, saying they are very traditionalist people and the girls typically get married young and don't talk to boys and often don't even go to university.
Eventually, she said to approach it slow, and she kept changing her mind about how to approach her. My social worker even warned me not to ask if I can sit next to her right away. I asked her in the morning, "hi, how're you" but eventually found out her and friend aren't allowed to talk to boys, but eventually they said I could ask them small questions. I asked if they were going to graduate school, and one said, "were going to ____ state with my boyfriend and her fiance!" I knew based on experience that girls lie about that just to get you away, so I told her "you don't have a boyfriend...youre just saying that to make me go away" but she denied it
I later went up to her and confronted her, saying "look, if you dont want to talk to me you can just say so, so if you ever have a problem with me please let me know" her friend intervened. i argued with them, and she said, "are you turkish?" and i said in the affirmative. she asked my name and then said, "do you know who her father is?" I was beyond furious at this point, and shouted, "I don't care!!! If he attacks me ill land his a** in jail! I'll stab him if he tries to lay a hand on me!" and i also confronted another girl who was nearby who blocked me on snapchat, and got told by another girl she still saw me as a little brother, and for me to leave her alone, yet calling me "sweetie" (she was two years older).
I walked away, and had thoughts of laying on the pavement so a car could run me over, but realized the car would stop since ij was in plain sight, so i thought of laying behind a car and waiting for them to back up and kill me. i feared allah and instead went to class. i couldn't take it anymore, so in my last class, knowing i would get the wrath of my mother, asked to see a counselor in my last class, and my professor let me, saying the material was online.
i could not find a counselor, but went to the special ed office and told someone, and told the counselor, and cops came to search my bag, and reassured me i was not in trouble. they called a real counselor, a licensed professional, and i talked to them. but that was only after waiting for 30 minutes. is sobbed, and my mother picked me up with the officer walking me to my car, and assuring her i was not in trouble. my mother was silent, but i asked her if she was mad, and she started yelling at me. the counselor on the phone gave me her number and i wrote it on the suicide hotline paper they gave me, a while back, so i told my mother i was calling the psychologist because i was feeling suicidal again. she grabbed my phone, and i fought with her over it, and the car swerved out of control, and eventually ij gave up because she was too strong. she threw it out the window while driving, and im pretty sure it broke.
i lost it, and threw a fit.
i freaked out, and she eventually took me to the psychologist (social worker) I regularly see, and he worked it out.
i tried calling the other psychologist, no reply.
Eventually, she said to approach it slow, and she kept changing her mind about how to approach her. My social worker even warned me not to ask if I can sit next to her right away. I asked her in the morning, "hi, how're you" but eventually found out her and friend aren't allowed to talk to boys, but eventually they said I could ask them small questions. I asked if they were going to graduate school, and one said, "were going to ____ state with my boyfriend and her fiance!" I knew based on experience that girls lie about that just to get you away, so I told her "you don't have a boyfriend...youre just saying that to make me go away" but she denied it
I later went up to her and confronted her, saying "look, if you dont want to talk to me you can just say so, so if you ever have a problem with me please let me know" her friend intervened. i argued with them, and she said, "are you turkish?" and i said in the affirmative. she asked my name and then said, "do you know who her father is?" I was beyond furious at this point, and shouted, "I don't care!!! If he attacks me ill land his a** in jail! I'll stab him if he tries to lay a hand on me!" and i also confronted another girl who was nearby who blocked me on snapchat, and got told by another girl she still saw me as a little brother, and for me to leave her alone, yet calling me "sweetie" (she was two years older).
I walked away, and had thoughts of laying on the pavement so a car could run me over, but realized the car would stop since ij was in plain sight, so i thought of laying behind a car and waiting for them to back up and kill me. i feared allah and instead went to class. i couldn't take it anymore, so in my last class, knowing i would get the wrath of my mother, asked to see a counselor in my last class, and my professor let me, saying the material was online.
i could not find a counselor, but went to the special ed office and told someone, and told the counselor, and cops came to search my bag, and reassured me i was not in trouble. they called a real counselor, a licensed professional, and i talked to them. but that was only after waiting for 30 minutes. is sobbed, and my mother picked me up with the officer walking me to my car, and assuring her i was not in trouble. my mother was silent, but i asked her if she was mad, and she started yelling at me. the counselor on the phone gave me her number and i wrote it on the suicide hotline paper they gave me, a while back, so i told my mother i was calling the psychologist because i was feeling suicidal again. she grabbed my phone, and i fought with her over it, and the car swerved out of control, and eventually ij gave up because she was too strong. she threw it out the window while driving, and im pretty sure it broke.
i lost it, and threw a fit.
i freaked out, and she eventually took me to the psychologist (social worker) I regularly see, and he worked it out.
i tried calling the other psychologist, no reply.
eace: