My baby died

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Bint Abdusattar

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:sl:
My little 8 month old baby Fatimah Sumiya died on December 22nd 2006.
Although i have been blessed with patience i do not think i have enough of it as i am not able to act 'normally' yet. eg wake up before husband to make his breakfast and act happy happy all the time. I have thought and thought about this and i understand that it will take time - but others don't see it this way! According to them i should be living life 'normally' and the grief should not overtake my duties! Are they right and i am wrong?
:w:
 
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:sl: Ukthi,

I know the pain you must be feeling. But, have faith that your little one is now in Jannah with Allah(swt) and is awaiting the day to pull you up to Jannah.

Your pain of today will be replaced with a joy many times greater than what you can imagine and your little one will be helping pull you to Jannah.

May Allah(swt) ease your pain and give both you and your baby rewards greater than your need or desire.
 
:w: I'm so sorry sister :cry:
Inna lilahi wa inna ilayhi rajioon.
I pray you will be reunited in a state of bliss with your baby in the akhirah one day ameen. I can't imagine what you are going through. My duas for you.
 
:salamext:



Anas reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, visited his son Ibrahim while he was breathing his last. The eyes of the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, began to flow with tears and 'Abdu'r-Rahman ibn 'Awf said to him, "Even you, Messenger of Allah!" He said, "O Ibn 'Awf, it is an aspect of mercy." then more tears followed and the Prophet said, "The eye weeps and the heart grieves. We say nothing except what pleases our Lord. O Ibrahim, we are grieved at your departure."

[al-Bukhari]
​


Sister, please read this khutbah, because it matches your situation:


Goodbye My Beloved
http://www.khutbah.com/index.php?type=5&id=644&language=8



We will keep you in our dua's insha'Allaah.
 
That's a brilliant khutbah.^^^

Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'oon. Sis try to have sabr inshaAllah you will be rewarded for it.
 
Inalilahi waina ilaihi rajioon....May Allah preseeve all the cildren who have died @ such a young age, wjo didn't get to understand the true meaning of life!!!
Aaamin
 
skhalid said:
Inalilahi waina ilaihi rajioon....May Allah preseeve all the cildren who have died @ such a young age, wjo didn't get to understand the true meaning of life!!!
Aaamin
Click to expand...

sorry for the spelling mistakes
I will type it again just in case
May Allah preserve all the children who have died at such a young age, who didn't get to understand the true meaning of life!!!
 
Bint Abdusattar said:
:sl:
My little 8 month old baby Fatimah Sumiya died on December 22nd 2006.
Although i have been blessed with patience i do not think i have enough of it as i am not able to act 'normally' yet. eg wake up before husband to make his breakfast and act happy happy all the time. I have thought and thought about this and i understand that it will take time - but others don't see it this way! According to them i should be living life 'normally' and the grief should not overtake my duties! Are they right and i am wrong?
:w:
Click to expand...

That depends on alot of different things. I would never recommend abandoning the mind's ability to pursue and find closure unless I had reason to believe the person was dwelling on this for a long time and it was preventing them from pursuing their life. This death is very recent so you're still searching for closure. Perhaps you'l find comfort by Allah, knowing the soul was that of an innocent, so there is eternal blessing. Maybe you'll find comfort in other ways, but you're still in the process of grief and you're still searching... take your time and make sure the death is completely settled in your mind.

Mental injuries are no different in nature than physical ones. If you break a leg bone and it isn't set correctly, it won't heal correctly and you'll have a limp. It will never be as useful to you as it was. Emotional injuries are the same. If you don't fully heal from them, set the injury correcty, it will dog you and affect your out-look on life, and your attitude. People who don't allow themselves to heal from the death of loved ones can become very cold and unfeeling creatures, when they could have transcended the experience with greater faith and a greatness of heart... bravery in love which cannot be destroyed by Death.

I pray you keep searching and find yours.

Ninth Scribe
 
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Inna lilahi winna ilayhi raji'oon.
Sister I'm so sorry for your loss. Inshallah it will be a means of salvation for you in the hereafter.
I know how you feel about some people not understanding your feelings and wanting you to move on. one word, 'sod em!' you take your time sister, like someone mentioned you need to heal properly.
Talk to your husband about how your feeling, talk to your friends or just phone up a help line to get it off your chest. Don't keep it inside, because one day you might just explode with emotions that may be hard to control.
If your not feeling all happy, happy, Don't pretend to be. Just let your feelings be.
PM me if you need some one to talk to, I want to be there for you sister.
all my love
summayah.
 
Bint Abdusattar said:
:sl:
My little 8 month old baby Fatimah Sumiya died on December 22nd 2006.
Although i have been blessed with patience i do not think i have enough of it as i am not able to act 'normally' yet. eg wake up before husband to make his breakfast and act happy happy all the time. I have thought and thought about this and i understand that it will take time - but others don't see it this way! According to them i should be living life 'normally' and the grief should not overtake my duties! Are they right and i am wrong?
:w:
Click to expand...
Dear sister

My heart goes out to you!
I am a mother myself, and I can only guess what pain you must be feeling. :cry:

May God give you peace at this time, and let his presence surround you.

In the meantime, sister, this is your time to grieve and work through your pain!
It will take as long as it takes - let no-one tell you otherwise or instruct you how you should or should not behave!

You are in my thoughts and in my prayers, Bint Abdusattar.
Just as Summayah said, if you need to talk, I am happy to receive your PMs too.

God bless you.
 
:sl:

Subhanallah. May Allah make this time easy for you and unite you and your husband with your child in Jannah Al Firdaus. Ameen.

:w:
 
Subhanallah!

Sis be patient and have faith in Allah that your child is now in Paradise. Rasulullah said "Whoevers beloved one died and he was patient and sought reward then for him is Jannah"

My Prayers are with you sis :cry:
 
Bint Abdusattar said:
:sl:
My little 8 month old baby Fatimah Sumiya died on December 22nd 2006.
Although i have been blessed with patience i do not think i have enough of it as i am not able to act 'normally' yet. eg wake up before husband to make his breakfast and act happy happy all the time. I have thought and thought about this and i understand that it will take time - but others don't see it this way! According to them i should be living life 'normally' and the grief should not overtake my duties! Are they right and i am wrong?
:w:
Click to expand...


i am so sorry for you bint abdusattar, my heart goes out for you... please do not feel bad about grieving it is a terrible thing to happen... maybe you should talk to a psychologist to help you through this... God will take care of you and your baby, but it is important that you look after your own health, even your emotional health as well... i will pray for you... i hope everybody will...

Dios te bendiga
 
Inna lilahi wa inna ilayhi rajioon :cry:

The loss of a child could never be easy, I dont beleive the people telling you to 'get on with it' are right in the slightest. I have known many people grieve the loss of loved ones. They should give you the chance to express your grief and the time to come to terms with your loss.

May Allah(swt) ease your pain and give you the patience to bear your loss and reunite you both in Jannat ul Firdous.
 
:sl:
People deal with death in different ways. There is no one correct way. It is up to the individual themselves to decide when they get back up.

Take your time, but don't let it crush your family. Inshallah, Allah will strengthen you.
 
That is so sad, May Allah give you sabr in these difficult times
 
:sl:

Inna lillahi wa inna illayhi wa raji'oun.

I'm sorry to hear this sis...I can't add much to what the others have said. You're in my adiyah. *hug*
 

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