Khalid Saifullah
IB Veteran
- Messages
- 633
- Reaction score
- 67
- Gender
- Male
- Religion
- Islam
Mother-in-laws should not have great expectations of their daughter-in-laws. She does is not of the same age or has the same level of maturity and responsibility. But, be good to her anyways. You set the pace of the relationship. In time, the daughter-in-law will change and adapt to the situation.
The Mother-in-Law must be concerned about fulfilling her Daughter-in-laws rights. Must adopt a stance of tolerance from the start because your son’s wife comes from a different house and a different background. Be e system of her more tolerant and overlooking than her. She needs to grow.
The biggest problem is that mother’s don’t want to let go of their sons. Generally, mothers love their sons more, so the daughter-in-law must learn to please her mother-in-law and learn her style: “Key to happiness is through the mother-in-law.” If she does this, her whole family will be happy, if not her husband will be torn between his wife and mother. Girls can adapt faster than boys hence the system of her leaving her home and coming to a new home.
You are not marrying a person, but a family. A new wife needs to know that this is a start to a new relationship and she needs to prove herself.
When the couple has problems, the mother-in-law is the best person to help, and not her parents. She will want the best for her son and his wife, but sometimes the wife’s parents will give wrong advise like: “As soon as anything goes wrong, just phone and I will pick you up.” Sometimes, parents themselves are the biggest cause of their children’s marriage breakup. They say: “You don’t have to serve your mother-in-law.” Although Islamically this is correct, and a daughter-in-law can not be forced to serve her in-laws, in which other way can she win their respect and earn their duas?
A daughter-in-law should know the basics of being a wife and know basic cooking, financial management and house-keeping. It must not be beyond her dignity to learn cooking from her mother-in-law to kep her husband satisfied. He will appreciate this better than the Wimpy Mega Burger or Nando’s Chicken Strips.
Mother-in-Laws should never be nasty to their daughter-in-laws as their son will be affected. She might even lose her son in this way for good. Don’t treat her as a free “maid” and give her due respect. Remember by her marrying your son she has now acquired a lot of power in the family. She can either unite the family or break it.
Daughter-in-laws should never have the western notion that a mother-in-law is a monster-in-law or a murder-in-law, and typically not worth having an understanding with her. This is very unfair and un-Islamic.
Daughter-in-Law: Expect problems and give it time. All relationships go through rough patches and need time to get sorted out.
Problem is that mother-in-laws sometimes impose their previous experience of being a daughter-in-law on her new daughter-in-law and misread the situation. The generations are different!
Also, initially we all get caught up emin the sentimental trap of my mother-in-law is my mother and my daughter-in-law is my daughter. In fact, this is the standard advise to all new brides, but it’s a disaster. You have high expectations of your daughters and can discipline and speak to them in a certain way. They wouldn’t mind.ge If they flopped the cake you can tell them directly: “You made a flop. Couldn’t you countfour eggs instead of two?” But you cant speak in this way to your daughter-in-ls otw. She will not appreciate it and the resentment will crop in. The speech must be carefully controlled on both sides or else the poor husband will be confused in the middle. He cant take his wife’s part nor his mother’s and nowadays, ultimately the son breaks up with his parents and all are losers in the end.
It is not advisable to live together with in-laws initially. However, if they are aged then the daughter-in-law can opt to shift in in order to serve her in-laws and acquire jannat. But it is not advised initially. A daughter-in-law is not a daughter and don’t have such expectations of her.
The Mother-in-Law must be concerned about fulfilling her Daughter-in-laws rights. Must adopt a stance of tolerance from the start because your son’s wife comes from a different house and a different background. Be e system of her more tolerant and overlooking than her. She needs to grow.
The biggest problem is that mother’s don’t want to let go of their sons. Generally, mothers love their sons more, so the daughter-in-law must learn to please her mother-in-law and learn her style: “Key to happiness is through the mother-in-law.” If she does this, her whole family will be happy, if not her husband will be torn between his wife and mother. Girls can adapt faster than boys hence the system of her leaving her home and coming to a new home.
You are not marrying a person, but a family. A new wife needs to know that this is a start to a new relationship and she needs to prove herself.
When the couple has problems, the mother-in-law is the best person to help, and not her parents. She will want the best for her son and his wife, but sometimes the wife’s parents will give wrong advise like: “As soon as anything goes wrong, just phone and I will pick you up.” Sometimes, parents themselves are the biggest cause of their children’s marriage breakup. They say: “You don’t have to serve your mother-in-law.” Although Islamically this is correct, and a daughter-in-law can not be forced to serve her in-laws, in which other way can she win their respect and earn their duas?
A daughter-in-law should know the basics of being a wife and know basic cooking, financial management and house-keeping. It must not be beyond her dignity to learn cooking from her mother-in-law to kep her husband satisfied. He will appreciate this better than the Wimpy Mega Burger or Nando’s Chicken Strips.
Mother-in-Laws should never be nasty to their daughter-in-laws as their son will be affected. She might even lose her son in this way for good. Don’t treat her as a free “maid” and give her due respect. Remember by her marrying your son she has now acquired a lot of power in the family. She can either unite the family or break it.
Daughter-in-laws should never have the western notion that a mother-in-law is a monster-in-law or a murder-in-law, and typically not worth having an understanding with her. This is very unfair and un-Islamic.
Daughter-in-Law: Expect problems and give it time. All relationships go through rough patches and need time to get sorted out.
Problem is that mother-in-laws sometimes impose their previous experience of being a daughter-in-law on her new daughter-in-law and misread the situation. The generations are different!
Also, initially we all get caught up emin the sentimental trap of my mother-in-law is my mother and my daughter-in-law is my daughter. In fact, this is the standard advise to all new brides, but it’s a disaster. You have high expectations of your daughters and can discipline and speak to them in a certain way. They wouldn’t mind.ge If they flopped the cake you can tell them directly: “You made a flop. Couldn’t you countfour eggs instead of two?” But you cant speak in this way to your daughter-in-ls otw. She will not appreciate it and the resentment will crop in. The speech must be carefully controlled on both sides or else the poor husband will be confused in the middle. He cant take his wife’s part nor his mother’s and nowadays, ultimately the son breaks up with his parents and all are losers in the end.
It is not advisable to live together with in-laws initially. However, if they are aged then the daughter-in-law can opt to shift in in order to serve her in-laws and acquire jannat. But it is not advised initially. A daughter-in-law is not a daughter and don’t have such expectations of her.