wa'alaikum as'salaam,
Inshallah get medical treatment and see if its not serous. Then talk to your parents about the seriousness of this and if possible confront your brother as well about it. If it's not safe then don't, rather find an elderly mature relative to talk to about it. Also try to stay out of the way from your bother for the time being. We don't know the context of the situation so we can't say much on it.
Sorry, we don't have the full story but why would the poster speak to her Dad? He was there when her brother bashed her and he did nothing. Am I missing something there? Going to a much older relative is the same as reporting to the Police. The information will have been divulged. What makes you so certain the brother won't go crazy to know others have found out?
Why did your father raised his voice, was he upset?
did your brother react to your father's voice and wanted to "contribute" in "disciplining" you?
if so then you need to talk to your parents to tell your brother to chill out and stay out of it and let them handle it as parents.
Ever if the poster's Dad was upset, there is no need for violence. A coward raises his hand at a woman. If the poster was at fault, there is the means of conversation and things can be discussed this way. Dad saw it all, why didn't he intervene?
People should be careful in giving advice, like calling the police as a first response. It's easy to sit online and give advice like we are experts but we have to remember that an ill advised advice can do more haram than good.
Sorry to burst your bubble but I am an expert in this field. Any professional would say IF YOUR LIFE IS IN DANGER, CALL 999 (for the UK). Ask a Housing Officer, a GP, a Social Worker, a Police person, they will all say the same. The Police might be able to calm the situation down and refer to anger management / counselling.
Here's what calling the police will do:
- criminal record for the brother What's wrong with this? He committed a crime, he should get the award for it
- probably arrested as well and need to pay hefty fine for the bail See above, a criminal is a criminal regardless of whether it is a family member
- he'll really hate her then and the animosity towards her will grow more Why should this be the posters' problem? Why are you trying to make the poster out to be the bad person here?
- family will attack her (verbally) for calling police on family If the family attack her, she is better off without them
- family won't treat her well The poster can move out and find alternative accommodation
- brother may move out but family may need him for supporting the family He should have though about his actions first
- brother may try to kick her out If it's not the brothers house, why can he do this?
- friction and distance among family members Fact of life
- breaking kinship, famlies Not the posters fault, the brother should have controlled his temper
- little to no family support moving forwards There are load of agencies and support out there
Also, please don't advise her to go to a shelter. That is no place for a Muslimah to be at.
- it's not safe, rapes do happen Rape can happen at home too, so where shall the Muslimahs go? The refuges for women moving away from domestic abuse are staffed 24/7 normally, and men are not allowed on the premises, there is also CCTV
- its not sanitary, public restroom You have to share a bathroom but there are rules and regulations
- where will she pray and shower The Muslimah will have her own bedroom and space, so she can pray there. They will share a bathroom and she can shower there
- its not private, no personal space See above, the Muslimah will have her own room and can pray there
- not a good option unless you are on the streett Not a good option to stop at home if your brother is going to belt you one in front of your Dad for no reason (unless something else happened and the poster has not mentioned it)
Please don't scare the poster. I work in Housing and there are heaps of Muslimah's in veils and burkhas who have had to move out from their home due to domestic violence / abuse / mental violence. They all survived and still wear veils and were able to pray there. There are specific refuges for Asian and Black women so there is that option too.
In terms of giving advice, we have look at a few things first and i hope everyone considers them before giving inputs into others dilemmas.
- what is the fully story? details?
- what is the story on both sides?
- person's location, culture, family orientation (liberal, conservative, islamic, secular, etc)
- person's age range
- availability of mature kin or imam in community
- context of the situation
- viable options with pros and cons
Base on the above information, we can make a best guess of understanding the situation and offer few viable suggestions and not one answer and tell them to run with.
