My Brother's Girlfriend

  • Thread starter Thread starter //-Asif-\\
  • Start date Start date
  • Replies Replies 26
  • Views Views 12K
I tottal agree with "gosssamer skye" and he make good point. Only Allah can guide?
How can person fear Allah when he doesn't know Allah?
how can person stop doing the bad staff when does have knowledge?
How can a person who didn't learn about tawhiid and shirk fulfil the other duties.
Anyway the only thing that will help ypur brother is dua and be pateince with him and it's only Allah to judge him afcourse you have to care. Try to take him to the mosque or muslim youth club and be friends with him. There is good web about tawhiid it help me and my family and remember there is no point in trying if the person doesn'y know about his lord so the most important things is tawhiid so start to teach him the tawhiid.

www.islamhouse.com/p/5094
 
All you can really do is talk to him and try to teach him right from wrong. It also depends on his age, if he's a freshman or sophomore in high school then you can punish him by grounding him and limiting his freedom by taking his phone away, computer privileges, and by not allowing him to go out with friends but either way, the harsher you punish him the more he will hate you. You can beat him, keep him grounded but that wont change the way he feels on the inside. You're stopping him from all this but in his mind he still sees his actions as right and will develop hate towards you and the family. Then as soon as he is free and old enough to move out, he'll be out doing even worse stuff and living his life the way he feels. So really all you can do is try talking to him and show love and affection even when he's wrong. Even if you feel like it's not helping, punishing him harshly wont help much but may cause even worse things to happen. He might be immature right now but if you're nice to him about this situation, he will look back on it as he grows up, regret all the mistakes he made and love you even more. If you beat him down by punishment, then he will just sit at home waiting for the day he can leave his house and be free to do what he wants.
 
VERY horrible situation for you to be in bro asif :( I don't know how to advise you cos if I was in your shoes I wouldn't know what to do or how to handle it. The idea of taking away his privlleages like mobile and laptop and all the other luxeries that he enjoys sounds good.

but if you do that it still won't have any impact upon his mentality, he still won't see what's wrong in what he's doing , he'll just see you punishing him for having a gf.

You need to install fear of Allah into him if it's possible to do that, if you punish him he's not learning right from wrong the change isn't coming from with in, your forcing him and when people are forced they just rebel more cos it becomes like a battle between you and him.

He might carry on with the gf just to anoy you for punishing him and would probably see it as "himself getting his own back on you for punishing him". This is how alot of youngsters rebell when I was little my mum would tell me not to eat so many chocolates lol but I didn't listen and carried on then she would hit me lightly on my hand and that just made me wanna eat more chocolates to get back at her for hitting me.
 
:wa: Your brother is MashaAllah really lucky to have a caring brother like you and may Allah reward you. If your brother likes Native Deen, then will be nice. For some people these kind of songs increase their Iman, im not sure about the music part. This might help to increase his faith and be proud of his religion.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BAa9CTID6g0&feature=related

InshaAllah have a look at it.
 
Last edited:
This is a lengthy subject to talk about and at the moment I don't have a lot of time on my hands but to summerize, you need to give him a substitute as you cannot expect him to leave her just like that without having something in his hands to make him forget about her. This substitue has to be hope and faith that Islam can give him much better then this girl but this naseehah has to be given right way. The only way he will give her up is if he is convinced that he should leave her otherwise he will find the means to go back to her.

You need to first understand that your brother is involved in a difficult position and at this time it will be easy for him to turn back to his girlfriend at any given moment for comfort, advice, support, love, care etc and hard to turn to anything/anyone else since he has already established a good relation with her. Nothing will make sense to him and he will be blinded by lust and desire because once the heart is attached the limbs will follow relentlessly.

The first thing you need to establish is a good relationship with him because if you two are not in middle grounds, where do you expect to start? If he isn't talking to you about this girl and the feelings he has for her openly to you, then you need to build further your relationship with him rather then breaking it and distancing him. The last thing you want is for your brother to feel that he can't talk to you, and harshness at this point isn't going work since he has this girl to turn to for comfort. You need to sit with him and work with him everyday as much as you are able to, this requires exercising a lot of patience.

Give him constant admonision with kindness and make him feel that he can talk to you and fall on you because if he is forced to leave then he will experience heartbreak which will force him to run back to her if he has nobody else there. Treat him like a close friend and don't expect immediate results. Let him know that you are there for him by spending time with him and talking to him. Play ps3 together or something and talk to him about this girl as well (since she will be all that he wants to talk about) while advising and admonishing him.

Above all, be patient and make lots of du'a because only Allah can guide whom He wills.
 
Last edited:

Similar Threads

Back
Top