My brother's problem in getting married

[Reflections]

Why a Christian girl?:/

 

[Flame of Hope]

Why a Christian girl?:/

sister.

He's been searching for a suitable Muslim girl for years. He's too shy to have had any girls as his friends. He's now at an age where he is getting frustrated. Almost on the verge of giving up. So I feel that if finding a Muslim girl to marry is so hard, then he must do what is easy for him. I believe Muslim men are permitted to marry women from People of the Book?

 

[Flame of Hope]

:wasalamex

Advise him to visit the new Muslims shelter in India, in Mumbai I think. There are some very sincere and practicing sisters looking to get married there.

Please see this vid:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twrnyW9j_p0

I pray Allaah finds him a pious wife very soon.

Jazakallah khair sister for the information. I will contact my brother right away. He'll be very happy.

Perhaps it is through you that Allah is guiding my brother to his future wife, inshallah.

I'm relieved. Alhamdulillahir rabbil al ameen!

 

[Reflections]

sister.

He's been searching for a suitable Muslim girl for years. He's too shy to have had any girls as his friends. He's now at an age where he is getting frustrated. Almost on the verge of giving up. So I feel that if finding a Muslim girl to marry is so hard, then he must do what is easy for him. I believe Muslim men are permitted to marry women from People of the Book?

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful


Assalaamu `alaykum waRahmatullahi Wabarakatuh



Your understanding of the verse in Surah Maidah is correct. It is permissible for Muslim men to marry Christian and Jewish women. However, there are two conditions:



1. The girl should be a genuine Christian or Jew. If she is a Christian, she should believe in ‘Isa (Alayhis salām) and the Injīl (bible). If she is a Jew, she should believe in Musā (Alayhis salām) and the Taurāh. It is common that many women call themselves Christians or Jews to avoid embarrassment, but in essence are atheists.


2. The girl should have grown up as Christian or Jew. It will not be permissible to marry a girl that was a Muslim and then converted to Christianity or Judaism.


However, it is not advisable for Muslim men to marry Christian and Jewish women without necessity, as marriage with such woman entail many evils. It is for this reason Umar (Radiyallāhu anhu) prevented Sahaba from marrying Jewish and Christian women during his Khilāfah (rule).



If a Muslim wishes to marry a Christian or Jewish woman, the method of nikāh will be as normal (offer, acceptance and presence of witnesses). The only difference is that when marrying Muslim women, it is necessary that the witnesses be Muslims, whereas when marrying Christian or Jewish women, the witnesses don’t have to be Muslims. They could be Christians or Jews.

عن حذيفة بن اليمان انه تزوج يهودية بالمدائن فكتب اليه عمر بن الخطاب: ان خل سبيلها فكتب اليه أحرام هي علي يا امير المؤمنين ؟ فكتب اليه: اعزم عليك ان لا تضع كتابي حتي تخلي سبيلها فاني أخاف أن يقتد بك المسلمين فيختاروا نساء اهل الذمة لجمالهن وكفي بذلك فتنة لنساء المسلمين.

قال محمد: وبه نأخذ لا نراه حراماولكنا نري ان يختار عليهن نساء المسلمين وهو قول أبي حنيفة (كتاب الاثار، ص 89، ادارة القرآن)



( وصح نكاح كتابية ) وإن كره تنزيها ( مؤمنة بنبي ) مرسل ( مقرة بكتاب ) منزل وإن اعتقدوا المسيح إلها وكذا حل ذبيحتهم على المذهب (الدر المختار، 3/45، سعيد)



وفيه أن إطلاقهم الكراهة في الحربية يفيد أنها تحريمية والدليل عند المجتهد على أن التعليل يفيد ذلك ففي الفتح ويجوز تزوج الكتابيات والأولى أن لا يفعل ولا يأكل ذبيحتهم إلا لضرورة وتكره الكتابية الحربية إجماعا لافتتاح باب الفتنة من إمكان التعلق المستدعي للمقام معها في دار الحرب وتعريض الولد على التخلق بأخلاق أهل الكفر وعلى الرق بأن تسبى وهي حبلى فيولد رقيقا وإن كان مسلما اه فقوله والأولى أن لا يفعل يفيد كراهة التنزيه في غير الحربية وما بعده يفيد كراهة التحريم في الحربية تأمل (رد المحتار، 3/45، سعيد)



( وشرط سماع كل من العاقدين لفظ الآخر ) ليتحقق رضاهما ( و ) شرط ( حضور ) شاهدين ( حرين ) أو حر وحرتين ( مكلفين سامعين قولهما معا )على الأصح ) فاهمين ) أنه نكاح على المذهب بحر ( مسلمين لنكاح مسلمة ولو فاسقين أو محدودين في قذف أو أعميين أو ابني الزوجين أو ابني أحدهما وإن لم يثبت النكاح بهما ) بالاثنين ( إن ادعى القريب كما صح نكاح مسلم ذمية عند ذميين ) ولو مخالفين لدينها (الدر المختار، 3/21-24،سعيد، كتاب النكاح)



قوله ( لنكاح مسلمة ) قيد لقوله مسلمين احترازا عن نكاح الذمية فإنه لو تزوجها مسلم عند ذميين صح........ ولما كان تزوج المسلم ذمية لا يشترط فيه إسلام الشاهدين احترز عنه بقوله لنكاح مسلمة (الرد المحتار،3/23،سعيد، كتاب النكاح)

ولو كان الزوج مسلما والمرأة ذمية فالنكاح ينعقد بشهادة الذميين سواء كانا موافقين لها في الملة أو مخالفين كذا في السراج الوهاج (الهندية، 1/267،رشيدية)



قال : ( وإذا تزوج مسلم ذمية بشهادة ذميين جاز ولا يظهر عند جحوده ) (المختار مع الاخيار،3/103،دار الارقم)



And Allah knows best

Wassalamu Alaikum

Ml. Talha Desai,
Student Darul Iftaa

Checked and Approved by:

Mufti Ebrahim Desai
Darul Iftaa, Madrassah In'aamiyyah

Source: http://www.askimam.org/fatwa/fatwa.php?askid=c2df43b404e9d058295620729d9ffefd
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In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

Assalaamu `alaykum waRahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

There are two issues to address:

1) Marrying a practicing Catholic

2) Getting married according to the Catholic method



1) Marriage is an extremely important step in life. It is a time when both the husband and wife will rely and depend on each other, especially when starting a new family. Allah Ta'ala states in the Holy Quran:



هن لباس لكم وأنتم لباس لهن

"They (wives) are clothing for you and you (husbands) are clothing for them." (2:187)

A person cannot keep away from clothing his body. Similarly, a man and woman are unable to forbear the lack of each other's company brought about by marriage.

Keeping this in mind, the wife plays a crucial role in the life of the husband and the family, both as a spouse and as a mother to the children.

As a spouse, she is the one who usually runs the household systematically and it is extremely difficult for a working husband to do so without her. She is also the husband's companion and the one who is there to comfort the husband in time of need. The wife should also be a protector of the husband's deen. This is why in marrying a practicing Muslima, both the husband and wife will then respect the rights given over each other by Allah Ta'ala, making the marriage a lot easier and enjoyable.

As a mother, it is ever so important for the children to be nurtured and raised by a practicing Muslima. The mother is the one who has the greatest influence on the children, and it is the duty of the parents to raise their children properly while teaching them Islamic etiquette, conduct, how to pray salat, how to read the Holy Quran, etc. If the children are not brought up properly at an early age, it will greatly affect their future in terms of following shari'ah the way it should be followed. If the mother is a practicing Jew or Catholic, she will not raise the children in this manner, putting their futures in following the deen in jeopardy. In such a case, the children may possibly be raised without learning proper morals and akhlaaq. If this were to occur, many problems would arise in the futures of the children.

This issue can be discussed from another dimension. It is not permissible for a Muslim woman to marry a disbelieving man, even if he is from the people of the book. This is because the woman is the weaker creation between the two. The husband is the one who is a more powerful and imposing figure. If this were to be permissible, the believing woman may become influenced by her disbelieving husband to leave the fold of Islam. Even if she does not become influenced, the children may likely follow their father's footsteps and believe in his religion.

It is true that Islamic shari'ah has allowed Muslim males to marry a woman from the people of the book, but this is only where there is no danger that the husband or the children may come under her influence in religious matters. In the view of the majority of the Sahaba and Tabi'een, marriage with women from among the people of the book is lawful in itself, but marrying them is not free of the many consequential disorders for oneself and his children. This was the basis on which they considered marriage with women from among the people of the book as makruh (reprehensible). Umar (RadiyAllahu Anhu) himself became angry and ordered Hudhaifa ibn Yaman (RadiyAllahu Anhu) to divorce a Jewish woman he had married. This was because of his fear that immodesty and morals contrary to those in Islam would enter into his household.

Therefore, if even some of the companions of the messenger of Allah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) were advised not to do so, how can Muslim males with our limited knowledge of deen in our present day time have full confidence that he or his children will not be influenced at all by the disbelieving wife and mother? In non-Muslim countries, rules of guardianship and custody violate Islamic teachings. There have been many cases where Muslim males have lost custody of their children. Such children in the vast majority of these cases ultimately become the followers of other faiths. Marriage with a practicing Muslima will eliminate these problems and Allah Ta'ala will put His blessings and barakah in such a marriage.



2) It is not permissible to participate in a wedding ceremony which is against the teachings and rulings of Islam. Allah Ta’ala says in the Quran:

ولا تركنوا إلى الذين ظلموا فتمسكم النار وما لكم من دون الله من أولياء ثم لا تنصرون

And do not incline towards the wrongdoers, lest the Fire should catch you, and you have no supporters other than Allah, then you should not be helped. (11:13)

The Messenger of Allah (Sallallahu Alayhi wa Salaam) has also warned the believers to abstain from the practices of the disbelievers. Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi wa Sallam) has said in a Hadith:

من تشبه بقوم فهو منهم

"Whosoever resembles a people or nation, he is one of them." (Sunan Abi Dawud)

Abstaining from tashbeeh (imitating, resembling) of the disbelievers includes keeping away from their customs, habits, behaviors, celebrated festivals etc. Almost all non-Islamic weddings include things which are totally forbidden in Islamic Law, such as music and intermingling of the sexes.

Moreover, the Jurists have explained that adopting practices that symbolize other religions and hold religious values could take one out of the fold of Islam. For example, wearing a Jewish hat, fastening a string around the body in pursuing the ways of Hindu priests, applying sindhoor upon the forehead, etc. are not permissible and could take one out of the fold of Islam. Marriage in a church performed by a priest is clearly something which holds religious values to the Catholics.

يكفر بوضع قلنسوة المجوس على رأسه على الصحيح ... وبشد الزنار في وسطه ... وبخروجه إلى نيروز المجوس لموافقته معهم فيما يفعلون في ذلك اليوم

(Fatawa al-Hindiyyah Vol.2 Pg.276 – Maktabah Rasheediyah)

It is not permissible for a Muslim to get married according to the Catholic method as it is taking part in their religious festivals. May Allah Ta’ala grant us the ability to uphold Islamic values over our lust and desires-Aameen.

And Allah knows best

Wassalam u Alaikum

Ml. Asif Umar,
Student Darul Iftaa

Checked and Approved by:

Mufti Ebrahim Desai

Source:http://www.askimam.org/fatwa/fatwa.php?askid=43672fd462c6dd70f66548c0f9b87035

 

[Flame of Hope]

Your understanding of the verse in Surah Maidah is correct. It is permissible for Muslim men to marry Christian and Jewish women.

Jazakallah khair sis for the information.

My brother wrote to me today:

Last time I told you that my christain brother Mathew he was going to help me in getting married to a christain girl.before that I had to embraced christainty.He is asking me to come to church now I m avoiding him & giving him some excuse.

So marrying a Christian girl is out of the question IF he has to become a Christian in order to marry her. :raging:

Last time I went to islamic centerfor help instead of help they were asking about proof that I embraced islam (affidavit) from lawyer.i don't understand why u need proof when u say shaadath in presence of brother & iman(maulana).

So my brother goes to the center for help and this is what they tell him? :hmm:

 

[إحسان]

Assalamu Alaykum sister,

I'm no expert, I'm young myself (16) but relatives of mine have chosen a bride/groom through mutual Muslim friends. So my advice would be to go to another Masjid or Islamic Centre, I mean although I'm not Indian, I do have a fair knowledge that there are millions of Muslims in India so I'm sure you'd find more than one Masjid or Islamic Centre within distance.

Furthermore, I'm really surprised no one has mentioned this but can't your brother ask his Muslim friends? I know he's shy and all but it's worth a try to make some friends through Islamic Centres/Meetings and find a wife through his friends (possibly their sister, cousin ect).

And once again (I'm surprised no one has mentioned this), the best advise for your brother is for him to Dua. Constant Dua. Dua for Allah to give him a pious, well behaved wife inshAllah.

- Dua

 

[Who Am I?]

Flame, your brother sounds a lot like me. Same age, same place in life. I too have had difficulties in meeting women, which is one big reason I am still unmarried at 35. Of course, right now that is a secondary concern of mine, but it's still on my mind, so I know what your brother is going through with regards to that.

Any woman that would have him change in order to marry him is not the woman he needs. I'm not just talking about religion here. I mean anything. I've had women tell me I needed to wear better clothes, or do this, or do that. Sometimes I did what they wanted and they still didn't want me. But now I know better than to fall for that. You should never have to change who you are just to be with someone. I had to learn that the hard way.

I may be single for the rest of my life. Inshallah, I will meet someone eventually, but if not, I can accept that as long as I am comfortable in who I am. If your brother is comfortable with the man he is, then he'll be fine. This life is all about doing the right thing, not about whether or not you're married. It's easier said than done though, I know. Believe me, I know.

There is a reason things happen and there is a reason your brother is still single. God/Allah knows what that reason is. The wheels turn, and the universe unfolds as it should. Inshallah, he will find someone, and when he does, it will be so much better than if he ended up with the wrong woman.

 

[Karimah]

Salaam, I have used halfourdeen dot com. I like it a lot and you can meet people from all over. It's a marriage website created by baba Ali of ummah films