AnonymousMuslimah98
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- Islam
Hi Readers,
I want to share my story to get some advice on how to deal with my situation. I am 26 Female and my husband is 31. I am from sout Asia. So I got married in January 2025. Got engaged in September 2024 and he proposed me in Jan 2024. I knew my husband from office since 2022 we were good friends. I have always been single while he was involved with one colleague before me but it didn’t work out. This is the whole story i knew. Everyone in the office had vetted his character and he claimed himself as a one woman man always. I have always been very strict about my boundaries and never crossed any, and he never forced me either. Its been 9 months to our marriage but we rarely get intimate. I thought it was shyness or something. But recently i discovered his chats with so many girls. Which showed he has been virtually se*ting them and sometimes physically too. And its been going on since a few years even before me. He has not mentioned to any of those girls that he is married now. I left my job and moved with him and unable to find a job yet so i am financially dependent on him as well and he keeps asking me to go back to my parents house. Its only been 3 months that i moved in with him. From the chats i understood he enjoys BJs and everything but I can’t do something that is haram. He is far away from religion too. Divorce or leaving him is not an option for me because one of my sisters got divorced 5 years back and my family hasn’t recovered from that yet. I also found his conversation with his mom telling her he doesn’t find me pretty and can’t fall in love at this age. However i am considered pretty by most people. He says to other girls he can’t move on from them. It’s breaking me because I haven’t loved anyone else my entire life and saved myself for my husband. I always prayed i get someone like me. What should I do. I can’t confront him he gets angry very easily. He even doubted my character once when i have stopped talking to any guys even at work since i got engaged. I don’t know what to do. I just want Allah to make his heart soften towards me and make him love me and leave all of the haram things. Please help me.
I want to share my story to get some advice on how to deal with my situation. I am 26 Female and my husband is 31. I am from sout Asia. So I got married in January 2025. Got engaged in September 2024 and he proposed me in Jan 2024. I knew my husband from office since 2022 we were good friends. I have always been single while he was involved with one colleague before me but it didn’t work out. This is the whole story i knew. Everyone in the office had vetted his character and he claimed himself as a one woman man always. I have always been very strict about my boundaries and never crossed any, and he never forced me either. Its been 9 months to our marriage but we rarely get intimate. I thought it was shyness or something. But recently i discovered his chats with so many girls. Which showed he has been virtually se*ting them and sometimes physically too. And its been going on since a few years even before me. He has not mentioned to any of those girls that he is married now. I left my job and moved with him and unable to find a job yet so i am financially dependent on him as well and he keeps asking me to go back to my parents house. Its only been 3 months that i moved in with him. From the chats i understood he enjoys BJs and everything but I can’t do something that is haram. He is far away from religion too. Divorce or leaving him is not an option for me because one of my sisters got divorced 5 years back and my family hasn’t recovered from that yet. I also found his conversation with his mom telling her he doesn’t find me pretty and can’t fall in love at this age. However i am considered pretty by most people. He says to other girls he can’t move on from them. It’s breaking me because I haven’t loved anyone else my entire life and saved myself for my husband. I always prayed i get someone like me. What should I do. I can’t confront him he gets angry very easily. He even doubted my character once when i have stopped talking to any guys even at work since i got engaged. I don’t know what to do. I just want Allah to make his heart soften towards me and make him love me and leave all of the haram things. Please help me.