AnonymousMuslimah98
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Hi Readers,
I want to share my story to get some advice on how to deal with my situation. I am 26 Female and my husband is 31. I am from sout Asia. So I got married in January 2025. Got engaged in September 2024 and he proposed me in Jan 2024. I knew my husband from office since 2022 we were good friends. I have always been single while he was involved with one colleague before me but it didn’t work out. This is the whole story i knew. Everyone in the office had vetted his character and he claimed himself as a one woman man always. I have always been very strict about my boundaries and never crossed any, and he never forced me either. Its been 9 months to our marriage but we rarely get intimate. I thought it was shyness or something. But recently i discovered his chats with so many girls. Which showed he has been virtually se*ting them and sometimes physically too. And its been going on since a few years even before me. He has not mentioned to any of those girls that he is married now. I left my job and moved with him and unable to find a job yet so i am financially dependent on him as well and he keeps asking me to go back to my parents house. Its only been 3 months that i moved in with him. From the chats i understood he enjoys BJs and everything but I can’t do something that is haram. He is far away from religion too. Divorce or leaving him is not an option for me because one of my sisters got divorced 5 years back and my family hasn’t recovered from that yet. I also found his conversation with his mom telling her he doesn’t find me pretty and can’t fall in love at this age. However i am considered pretty by most people. He says to other girls he can’t move on from them. It’s breaking me because I haven’t loved anyone else my entire life and saved myself for my husband. I always prayed i get someone like me. What should I do. I can’t confront him he gets angry very easily. He even doubted my character once when i have stopped talking to any guys even at work since i got engaged. I don’t know what to do. I just want Allah to make his heart soften towards me and make him love me and leave all of the haram things. Please help me.
I want to share my story to get some advice on how to deal with my situation. I am 26 Female and my husband is 31. I am from sout Asia. So I got married in January 2025. Got engaged in September 2024 and he proposed me in Jan 2024. I knew my husband from office since 2022 we were good friends. I have always been single while he was involved with one colleague before me but it didn’t work out. This is the whole story i knew. Everyone in the office had vetted his character and he claimed himself as a one woman man always. I have always been very strict about my boundaries and never crossed any, and he never forced me either. Its been 9 months to our marriage but we rarely get intimate. I thought it was shyness or something. But recently i discovered his chats with so many girls. Which showed he has been virtually se*ting them and sometimes physically too. And its been going on since a few years even before me. He has not mentioned to any of those girls that he is married now. I left my job and moved with him and unable to find a job yet so i am financially dependent on him as well and he keeps asking me to go back to my parents house. Its only been 3 months that i moved in with him. From the chats i understood he enjoys BJs and everything but I can’t do something that is haram. He is far away from religion too. Divorce or leaving him is not an option for me because one of my sisters got divorced 5 years back and my family hasn’t recovered from that yet. I also found his conversation with his mom telling her he doesn’t find me pretty and can’t fall in love at this age. However i am considered pretty by most people. He says to other girls he can’t move on from them. It’s breaking me because I haven’t loved anyone else my entire life and saved myself for my husband. I always prayed i get someone like me. What should I do. I can’t confront him he gets angry very easily. He even doubted my character once when i have stopped talking to any guys even at work since i got engaged. I don’t know what to do. I just want Allah to make his heart soften towards me and make him love me and leave all of the haram things. Please help me.
ease your situation and guide you through this trial. Ameen.