Faree,
1. You are in America, do as you please!
2. If you are under 17, your father has certain legal rights to limit your behavior.
3. If you are over 17, see to #1.
--Dan Edge
Dan Edge I know this but wouldn'this be wrong according to islam?
My dad is forcing me to be a surgeon.
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Dan Edge I know this but wouldn'this be wrong according to islam?
Faree,
My post was a quick gut-level response from another American, representing my personal opinion. I believe that every individual ought to make his or her own life choices, especially with regards to love and work. But I am not a Muslim. I am not qualified to give council on value-choices from an Islamic perspective. I must defer to your local iman for such council.
Best Wishes to You and Your Bright Future,
--Dan Edge
My post was a quick gut-level response from another American, representing my personal opinion. I believe that every individual ought to make his or her own life choices, especially with regards to love and work. But I am not a Muslim. I am not qualified to give council on value-choices from an Islamic perspective. I must defer to your local iman for such council.
Best Wishes to You and Your Bright Future,
--Dan Edge
*charisma*
#AlwaysInMyDuas
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Assalamu Alaikum
What grade are you in? It seems you are still in high school. To be honest, get through your high school first and then think about what you really want to do. My cousin wanted to be an engineer, had her eyes set on a particular school, and after she started her first semester, she changed everything. When I started school, I had my mind set on Medical school, there was no plan B for me, then I decided I didn't want to spend so much time in school and changed my major a few times actually. One of my best friends hates school, and her parents have pushed her into the medical field..she ended up doing dentistry, but still does not want to do it. The thing is she never could see herself even getting that far in school, she's not that good, but with hard work and dedication, she succeeded mashallah and even if she never works as a dentist, she will always have such a strong foundation.
I honestly think you won't know exactly what you want to do until you get some experience in the university and look at a variety of majors, maybe even shadow some people.
EDIT: I also want to mention that you can also do engineering within the medical field..that way you can both compromise
What grade are you in? It seems you are still in high school. To be honest, get through your high school first and then think about what you really want to do. My cousin wanted to be an engineer, had her eyes set on a particular school, and after she started her first semester, she changed everything. When I started school, I had my mind set on Medical school, there was no plan B for me, then I decided I didn't want to spend so much time in school and changed my major a few times actually. One of my best friends hates school, and her parents have pushed her into the medical field..she ended up doing dentistry, but still does not want to do it. The thing is she never could see herself even getting that far in school, she's not that good, but with hard work and dedication, she succeeded mashallah and even if she never works as a dentist, she will always have such a strong foundation.
I honestly think you won't know exactly what you want to do until you get some experience in the university and look at a variety of majors, maybe even shadow some people.
EDIT: I also want to mention that you can also do engineering within the medical field..that way you can both compromise
shafat10
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The parent has no right in forcing his son to do certain stuffs that he feels is best, like his career, or his wife, and so on.
His career and wife, and stuff like these, unless the son is choosing something Haram, the parent cannot force them in to something of their choice; it's the son's life and he will decide about it.
umairlooms
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You have the conflict, because you do not want to disappoint your father. There is a solution. Simply realzing, you are a human being, who has his own life, who has his own dreams and who has his own destination.
Your father will not be living your life, he will not be sharing your pain of not being what you wanted to be.
You WILL tell your dad, you WILL make it work and you WILL be a great engineer. If you want to be something than
that IS YOUR PATH TO PEACE AND HAPPINESS. Everyone will be happy for you once you are happy. That happiness is what
you seek more than anything.
Do what you LOVE...i know you will
Your father will not be living your life, he will not be sharing your pain of not being what you wanted to be.
You WILL tell your dad, you WILL make it work and you WILL be a great engineer. If you want to be something than
that IS YOUR PATH TO PEACE AND HAPPINESS. Everyone will be happy for you once you are happy. That happiness is what
you seek more than anything.
Do what you LOVE...i know you will
I want to be an engineer but my dad is forcing me to go be an doctor especially surgeon. :raging: But I am not interested in medical field I always wanted to be an engineer because I am interested in technology.
He says that if I became a doctor I will get a lot of money, I will enjoy rest of my life, I will be famous, I can go to any country I want if I got a doctor degree.
But I stil don't want to be a doctor I want to enjoy my job. I told him but he doesn't listen. I hate being a doctor.
lonewolf007
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hold on folks i know we're supposed to listen to our parents and respect their wishes, but force doesnt come into, if the dude doesnt wana be a surgeon, you cant force him to, the whole job comes with plenty of stress and responsibility, its just a recipe for disaster
brother fare kindly sit your father down and explain to him that your interests do not lie in the medical field, i wish you luck brother and hope that you succeed in what you want to do insha'Allah
btw folks dont come down on me like a ton of bricks, its just my opinion
peace
brother fare kindly sit your father down and explain to him that your interests do not lie in the medical field, i wish you luck brother and hope that you succeed in what you want to do insha'Allah
btw folks dont come down on me like a ton of bricks, its just my opinion
peace
ardianto
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Actually it has nothing to do with Islam, but cultural.
Muslim child indeed, must respect the parents and obey them. But it doesn't mean the parents can force children to always follow what they want. Nothing in Islam that say parents should determine the life of their children. Parents just take responsibility to make sure that their children do not make wrong choice that violate Islamic values.
My parents allowed me to choose study by my own choice. Now I allow my children to choose their school by their own choices. I just take a role as advisor.
People in my place (Muslims and non-Muslims) believe that what the best for children is the best for parents. However, people in some other places believe that parents know what the best for children.
Yeah, this is cultural.
CosmicPathos
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There is lot of technology in surgery. Imagine being an orthopedic surgeon and using the latest and greatest ceramic or titanium hip replacements, or imagine being an ophthalmologist and doing micro-vitrectomies and retinotomies with 29 gauge needles and diamond-tipped vitrectors, or imagine being a radiologist and using intra-arterial catheters to clip aneurysms in brain circulation.
You should do what you like but I just wanted to challenge your biased view against medicine and surgery that it is not technological. It is perhaps the most interesting thing you can do with your life if you have the taste for it. Of course my views are biased as I am a doctor.
You should do what you like but I just wanted to challenge your biased view against medicine and surgery that it is not technological. It is perhaps the most interesting thing you can do with your life if you have the taste for it. Of course my views are biased as I am a doctor.
Moshy
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Thank you for correcting me
tell him... you are a surgeon... a surgeon of love.
I digress. ;D
Your dad can only guide youto your decision but he cannot force you to make your decision and he has to respect that. But you can always try the route of trying his respected choice and see if its for you though it might be a waste of time and tell him it didn't work out and it isn't for you.
Bro, please do what is likely what you are more passionate towards. Make dua for a good outcome of the situation.
I digress. ;D
Your dad can only guide youto your decision but he cannot force you to make your decision and he has to respect that. But you can always try the route of trying his respected choice and see if its for you though it might be a waste of time and tell him it didn't work out and it isn't for you.
Bro, please do what is likely what you are more passionate towards. Make dua for a good outcome of the situation.
Walter
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Dear Faree:
If your father plans to pay for your studies, then unless you obtain a full scholarship, or you are willing to work and study, then you cannot simply ignore your father's wishes. Further, because he is your father, you should honour him. Therefore, let me suggest that you learn to negotiate - it is never to early to learn.
Your father appears to have a lower opinion of engineering than surgery. Perhaps you can start there. Engineering is perhaps the most important profession. I am not stating that because I happen to be an engineer, rather, it is true. Since humans are not perfect, we will all make mistakes. Therefore, one way of measuring importance is by the magnitude of consequences if an error is made.
If a plumber makes a mistake, then you may have a leak.
If a land surveyor makes a mistake, then you may lose or gain some land.
If an accountant makes a mistake, then you may lose or gain some money.
If a lawyer makes a mistake, then you may win or lose your case.
If a doctor makes a mistake, then you can lose a limb or your life.
However, if an engineer makes a mistake, then multitudes may die.
If a structural engineer underestimates the weight of equipment on the roof, the multi-storey building can collapse.
If the mechanical engineer underestimates the shear strength of a bolt, an aeroplane can crash.
If an electrical engineer underestimates the capacity of a fuse, the multi-storey building can be consumed in an electrical fire.
If chemical, agricultural, environmental, transportation, or industrial engineers make mistakes, multitudes can die. Let your father know that engineers are critically important.
If your father is concerned about your future earnings, then let him know that the mediocre will normally struggle, even mediocre surgeons. But there is lots of room at the top for the conscientious professional.
Best regards.
If your father plans to pay for your studies, then unless you obtain a full scholarship, or you are willing to work and study, then you cannot simply ignore your father's wishes. Further, because he is your father, you should honour him. Therefore, let me suggest that you learn to negotiate - it is never to early to learn.
Your father appears to have a lower opinion of engineering than surgery. Perhaps you can start there. Engineering is perhaps the most important profession. I am not stating that because I happen to be an engineer, rather, it is true. Since humans are not perfect, we will all make mistakes. Therefore, one way of measuring importance is by the magnitude of consequences if an error is made.
If a plumber makes a mistake, then you may have a leak.
If a land surveyor makes a mistake, then you may lose or gain some land.
If an accountant makes a mistake, then you may lose or gain some money.
If a lawyer makes a mistake, then you may win or lose your case.
If a doctor makes a mistake, then you can lose a limb or your life.
However, if an engineer makes a mistake, then multitudes may die.
If a structural engineer underestimates the weight of equipment on the roof, the multi-storey building can collapse.
If the mechanical engineer underestimates the shear strength of a bolt, an aeroplane can crash.
If an electrical engineer underestimates the capacity of a fuse, the multi-storey building can be consumed in an electrical fire.
If chemical, agricultural, environmental, transportation, or industrial engineers make mistakes, multitudes can die. Let your father know that engineers are critically important.
If your father is concerned about your future earnings, then let him know that the mediocre will normally struggle, even mediocre surgeons. But there is lots of room at the top for the conscientious professional.
Best regards.
Futuwwa
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I've been trying to think, and frankly, I can't think of any better solution than simply resist. Going for a career in surgery is a massive undertaking, you will curse yourself forever if you undertake it and end up hating it. Whatever the price might be of defying your father, the price of compliance will probably be even higher.
hamzahqadri1
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May Allah Ta'Ala Help you to obey you Abu and assist you in all of your endeavours.
Ameen
Ameen
Ameen
Ameen
Ameen
Ameen
Bhabha
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I want to be an engineer but my dad is forcing me to go be an doctor especially surgeon. :raging: But I am not interested in medical field I always wanted to be an engineer because I am interested in technology.
He says that if I became a doctor I will get a lot of money, I will enjoy rest of my life, I will be famous, I can go to any country I want if I got a doctor degree.
But I stil don't want to be a doctor I want to enjoy my job. I told him but he doesn't listen. I hate being a doctor.
You can have both worlds...
Be a doctor / engineer. If you like technology appease to your technology and design things to be used in the medical industry. I have a friend who has combined genetics with technology. You can be a biomedical engineer? Get a PhD in biomedical engineering and tell your dad, you are technically a "doctor" XD