My faith is wavering.

Yes but are trying to prevent me from leaving. Beating and name-calling is not helping. Over possessiveness is killing me
 
Gosh, no!! It's not over possesiveness. This is "care" in disguise. Well what mother would let her child go away from her especially the one who has health issues? As it's already stated 'they care about you', so it's hard to believe that when they say bad things to you, they actually mean it.
You know, abuse and care can't exist together. It's either total care or total abuse. Yes, sometimes parents may curse the child, swear,scold them for small things BUT they hardly mean it. What parents would want their child to be unsuccessful? What parents would want their child to remain celibate? You have anger issues right? If your child does some mistake, won't you scold them? I agree parents should be polite while correcting the mistake of the child but there are different kinds of parents. Some are mixture of anger and love. And if your child decides to go far from you, won't you get upset? Won't you try to stop them? That's what YOUR parents are doing. Whatever you do, just pray istikhara before. You know, what really helps is reading about the importance of parents in islam. It surely softens the heart. If you get free time, read about it. • Ibn Umar(r.a) saw a yemeni man performing tawaf while carrying his mother on his back. This man said to ibn umar " I am like a tame camel for her. I have carried her more than she carried me. Do you think i have paid her back?" Ibn umar replied" No, not even for a single pang of pregnancy" _________ Prophet(pbuh) said"A child cannot repay his father unless he finds him as a slave and buys him and sets him free"(Sahih)
I am sure every parent at one time or the other gets angry at the child. But we don't have to take it seriously because they really don't mean any harm from it so why think so much about it. My mother scolds me so much despite the respect and help i offer. My father doesn't scold me, only mother does but i am pretty sure mother loves me more than the father and cares much more. That mood swing problem she has. If i had taken her scolds seriously, i would have surely isolated myself in Antarctica. Anyways, you don't take the comments (not abuse, if i may say) seriously. If you really want to leave, assure them that you can take care of yourself and live independently and will keep meeting them. That's it!!
 
medico said:
You know, abuse and care can't exist together. It's either total care or total abuse.
Click to expand...
That's rubbish. Many personality disorders show as abuse but that doesn't mean they don't really care. Few people actually abuse someone without caring, like psychopaths. And even if the abuser cares, it on no way excuses the abuse or makes it okay. It also doesn't necessarily help the victim in coping with it.
 
Last edited:
I actually agree with medico. My mother does care about me but the way she is going about it wrong. Its my father who makes an issue of it. I know my father doesn't care about it. He was never present in my life when I was child and was out traveling the world. Rubbing it in my face, I went to Paris and this place and this place. Knowing we never go anywhere. He know lives with us because he is retired and has no where else to go. He is a narcissist and was the reason why my family are not religious. Because he preaches islam when it suits him and plays the quran really loud and then hits and swears his children. Does this seem likely to attract people to Islam? He used to criticize my sister for listening to Indian music. Now he himself listens to music every now and then. Based off all these facts l, he doesnt care. But I understood with what the sister was saying. My mothwr may be mistreating me as way to cope with the indifference of her husband and overpossessivness and overprotectiveness
 
Do the people think that they will be left to say, "We believe" and they will not be tried? [29;2]

Everyone of us is going through a unique set of tests, hardships, trials, adversities. However even those who are going through comfort are also being tested because comfort can make us negligent towards fulfilling our obligations unto Allah.

It is these tests which force many of our heads to the ground. There is a great wisdom in what we are going through in life although we may see it not.

It is through these very tests that we can gain unimaginable, incomprehensible rewards. Only in the Hereafter will we finally see the immense rewards without measure promised for those who patiently persevered through life's tests. It is only then will we wish that we endured far more greater trials just so that we can gain the immense rewards available for those who patiently persevered through the hardest trials and hardships:

The Prophet (Sallalahu alaihi Wasallam) said: "On the Day of Judgment, when the people who were tried (in this world) are given their rewards, the people who were pardoned (in life), will wish that their skins had been cut off with scissors while they were in the world."[Tirmidhi 2402]

So we must change our mindsets with regards to the tests we are going through. We must not look at our tests as Allah is wanting to see how we will react, how patiently we will persevere and our resolve on whether we will respond to negativity with good in order to please Allah.

Family come with huge tests but also immeasurable rewards. Therefore change your perception from that of feeling injustice to feeling that this is an opportunity to invest huge good deeds into your account of the Hereafter. You may not get these opportunities again in your life. Just ask those whose parents have passed. SubhanAllah we are at great loss if we look upon our families as a burden.

Instead we should look upon them as an opportunity to please Allah in ways that would be very difficult otherwise. So honour them no matter how they treat you. There is nothing wrong with telling them how you feel and standing up for yourself but do it in a respectful tone and do not get angry with them. Use wisdom and tact in your approach in a way that is most pleasing to Allah.

So everytime you come across a difficult situation then straight away think "this is a test". You response will surely change. Never listen to the whispers of your enemy shaythan and abandon your parents. As long as they are on this Earth you have an opportunity to please Allah and gain immeasurable rewards for being patient and wanting to please Allah thereby. Otherwise it will be a source of huge regret in the Hereafter. I am not saying any if this is easy. But then again nor is getting to Jannah. The oath is full of thorns, but we can make it if we push hard and put our trust, faith, hopes and reliance in Allah.

So beg and ask of him every night at Tahajjud, cry unto him and ask of him for assistance and know that he hears your every call and will give comfort to your heart. Know that victory comes after hardship. So keep going, don't give up. I'd you fall then keep getting back up. Connect to the Masjid and the Qur'an and Dua's in the night prayer. These are your sources of help and comfort through any adversity in life!
 
Last edited:
I want to apologize again for taking so much of everyone's time. I know i should know better and of all people be more knowledgeable. It was stupid and silly of me to get upset with Allah. Allah is most best and wise and knows what's best for us. I really am sorry and see much more clearly. Unfortunately as you can tell, i am very impatient and impulsive and get carried away with emotions. Please forgive me. I apologized to my father and my mother. Things are not rocky now. But I was wrong to complain abt them. Yes they may do bad ways to show they care, but they still care. It was HIGHLY immature and inappropriate of me. Please forgive me and don't think bad of me. My father was the one who initiated the contact and for that I felt bad and apologized. Again I'm so sorry for wasting your time. My mind is a war zone. Jazakallah Khayran and May Allah bless you all for taking your time and helping me
 
Studentofdeed said:
I want to apologize again for taking so much of everyone's time. I know i should know better and of all people be more knowledgeable. It was stupid and silly of me to get upset with Allah. Allah is most best and wise and knows what's best for us. I really am sorry and see much more clearly. Unfortunately as you can tell, i am very impatient and impulsive and get carried away with emotions. Please forgive me. I apologized to my father and my mother. Things are not rocky now. But I was wrong to complain abt them. Yes they may do bad ways to show they care, but they still care. It was HIGHLY immature and inappropriate of me. Please forgive me and don't think bad of me. My father was the one who initiated the contact and for that I felt bad and apologized. Again I'm so sorry for wasting your time. My mind is a war zone. Jazakallah Khayran and May Allah bless you all for taking your time and helping me
Click to expand...
Ameen
 

Similar Threads

Back
Top