My freestyle...judge plz?

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truemuslim

truemuslim

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:sl:

here is the free style i wrote last night while i was being bored... just read it and tell me watu think...

Its goin down toniite
hang on if u like
showin u how i do
wit all the lines i move
now check it...

we the the slaves of allah 24 nonstop
in the deen never come to a full stop
u listenen to the american hip hop
u car is down u spendin $ at the car shop
u remember to pick up the things fo yo pop
gettin a flat tire u like 'oh no'
so u call ur frend and say 'aiyo'
thinkin its all u need yet u still way low
watr u missin? u forgot the great pro
you still down way below
this is something u gotta know
remember ur lord
u'll getta great reward
dont let him be ignored
he is the one and only, the great lord
u aint got time to wait
time is runnin out dont be late
the scale is gainin more and more wieght
u aint realizin u the shaitans bait
dont turn away keep lookin straight
keep balancing dont fall off the line
listen to the truth and dont decline
u'll be fine
i kno u'll shine


and this is the other one

look at how we livin
everywhere we look racism
terrorism
hatin on the muslims
some guy who got shot
young guy left to rot
lady who got robbed
some guys who got stopped
open the paper in search and enlighment
met up bya story of hate and encitement
half the storys in the paper bout us
its just me?
yet again the talks bout me
no matter what i do, u just cant set ur mind free


and the lastest one

i see, worlds in misery
i feel, all my enemies
are here, the battle never dies and i fear
u'll fly away leavin me here
more sufferin to come ahead
i see ppl comin over fightin over a piece of dry bread
bullets spread
dozens dead
whats next?
the worlds hexed
time to wise up like unicef
you and i
ment to be, meant to see
rest of time, rest of life
the time moves on with all the light
they say times a great healer
but i see time passes by like a great stealer
i see the worlds most beautiful landscapes
growin up on landmines
life of another child
fallin down fo shaitan
folks fallin down like domino
1 after 1, either lose a leg or a son
an endless marathon
juss keeps goin on and on...



so?

:w:
 
they really short i kno but i mite be addin some more... bout islam, bout arabs, bout terrorism, bout racism...all that...yeah :w:
 
sister they are absolutely shocking what utter ............utter brilliance lol keep it up sis lol :0
 
lol i gots a poetry thing to do for school and im allowed to do ANY subject in the WORLD...

hehe islam, racism, terrorism... my new subject.. its not due yet thol... i still got like a week so i shudnt need to start it i got pleeeenty of time
 
:sl:

I'm not familiar the words: "fo yo pop" and "aiyo". Though I like some of you lines, the rhyming and the slang is slightly annoying. Nonetheless, Good job.

:w:
 
:sl:

Need help:

open the paper in search and enlighment
met up bya story of hate and encitement
half the storys in the paper bout us
its just me?
yet again the talks bout me
no matter what i do, u just cant set ur mind free
Click to expand...

Plagiarism?

i see, worlds in misery
i feel, all my enemies
are here, the battle never dies and i fear
u'll fly away leavin me here
Click to expand...

:w:
 
omg sis thanks for bringing it back LOL i swear i had those last ones in my head and cudnt remember where i got it from a show or me or a song or what lol jazakallah that song is ancient... cant remember which tho
 
to be honest most rhymes are inspired by what we heard one time i guess...

like one which keeps comin bak to me is:

i see the light at the end
but everytime i take a step it gets dim
tell me is this hell we livin in
is so heavens gotta be betta but if we hellbound wateva lets go down...


audhubillah, we dnt wanna go down but the lyrics are deep. they might affect our rhymes so its not plagiarism.


Assalamu Alaikum
 
^ yeah i guess... they just stay in ur mind and they the first thing that come to u wen u do it... those are amazing lyrics where they from? :w:
 

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