My girlfriend & my family...

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Hello everyone,

I live the Netherlands, and i am 17 years old. One year ago, i started talking to an African girl that was in my class, and we became good friends. After some time, that leaded to get in a ''relationship''. We are 14 months to gether now.

But my family really makes everything difficult for me. In the beginning, they tought: It's just a boy that finds a girl, and after some months they will divide again. But somehow we really liked each other, and now even feel like loving each other, so we are still together. But my parents are starting to really dislike it because they want me with somebody from my own roots, Turkey. They are kind of trying to suspens our relationship, but i really dont like it. We are still 17 year old, and we are just 2 people who like each other a lot, love... And we didn't really talk about marriage or something, still too early, we always say: We will see what future will bring us, but my parents really dislike it.

The girl is trying to not eat any pork food anymore, because it's unhealty, and ofcourse for me. She also said, that IF someday, it would get so serious that she really wants to be with me her whole life, that she would be able to become a muslim!

I, and my parents too, know that thats a good thing, getting someone into the islam, but just because of the roots thing, cultural thing, they are not really being nice. They dont hate her or something, but they dont want me to have much contact with her. And if i want her to come eat with us, they dont really like the idea, and they feel awkward.

The girl is really nice, understanding, she is willing to learn about someone else culture and stuff.

And even if i dont be with this girl in the future, i really find it stupid that there is SO MUCH pressure from outside, to a person that loves an other person... I mean all those turkish people looking at me, because im with an african, it's just not nice. Feel so much pressure. I just can break her heart telling that my culture or root will be ruining our relationship. It's not like a girl i just used as a girlfriend. I really feel something for her, it's my first girlfriend, and i do not interest in other girls or something.

So a summery of all:
I am with a girl that i really like, but because of my roots, my parents make things difficult and awkward, and are scared that i will marry another girl then my own roots..

I am just wondering: Am i doing wrong or are my parents overreacting?

I mean Allah loves everyone, Islam is love, can a Root thing really get through love?

Thanks in advance:embarrass
 
i knew it brother!! once you considered black you wouldnt be able to come back!


African women and are dangerous!! you should've stayed away from them son :(
 
Haven't you already posted the same question before?
 
I've seen this same post on ummah, the members there gave you more than enough advice, I don't know why you're here for second opinions

out of marriage relationships are haraam, islam doesn't discriminate against races, colours etc, maybe your parents are concerned cause the girl isn't muslim
 
Here's a question:

As a 17 year-old young adult' do you think your brain is physiologically mature enough to make life changing decisions all by yourself?
 
You really shouldnt be having relationships out of marriage. This is why its forbidden , it only gives you headaches later on.
 
:sl:
if you can handle people telling you that you aren't ready for marriage at your age and that you are too young both psychologically and in the respect of being the man of the house and putting a roof over her head, then you are ready to get married.

if you can handle your parents telling you that you are still young and premature to get married, then you are ready for marriage.

just because it is liked to get married young, it doesn't denote that when our parents tell us that he/she isn't the right person and/or we are too young still, it doesn't mean that they dont know what they are talking about.

its funny how we think like that, only for years later to realize how right they were in preventing us to marry based on our immaturity and rash decision making. "just becuase i like he/she, then im ready for marriage and how dare someone defy me and tell me otherwise." how wrong that approach can sometimes be, especially when we are young.

if you dont want to get married to someone in your family, then dont but that doesn't mean you should ignore your parents in telling you to withhold it for now.
 
I'm sorry but 17? and your willing to already comprise everything that you stand for?
DO NOT do it man, just dont. Your family are your everything, don't hurt them in ways that you can't even imagine just because this temporary desire makes you feel like this girl is everything at the moment.
 

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