Jamalurrehman
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- Islam
Just about a week ago, I made the worst sin a human being could make. I disbelieved with my heart because the wishpers became too much to me. After that, I became even worse by not caring what my fate would be, in this case in hell for eternity. I dind't tell anyone and pretended to be a muslim, making me a pure hypocrite. Now I realize what mistake I have mmade, because my life has not become that of a human being. I don't feel human anymore, the entire world seem to live a normal life except me. Today, something happended that made me aks for advice, desperattly
I don't know what happened but it was af I my heart was taken from me. I don't have any feeling in my heart, as if it is ripped of me. I don't think its sealed either, I want to beleive again but there is an obstacle in my heart, I feel like I can't believe
Salam all especially you the poster of this question because i have the exact same situation but with a bigger larger picture of our problem i have a story of my own which i am facing that i am a hypocrite (was borned in a muslim family but i had nifaq in my heart when someone has nifaq beside the 4 charactertic of hipocrites nifaq brings evil thoughts and grows bigger and dangerous from time and then it leads you to disbelieve how?in my case a voice came to my head to leave your imaan when i was fapping i rejected 3 or 4 times and said yes many times and the evil thoughts took me more and the same feeling of heart just like you and put it really good with the obstacle in heart ..i say its like my heart is eaten up (chabaya huwa) we cant believe truly even though we know the truth more then ever because there is no connection to our hearts now i have no fight between evil and good and how was the experiance when my heart become like this ?it was like more pleasure then intercourse or any other pleasure you ever feel i felt it in my heart i was like a statue at that moment and something went outside of my body at that very same moment and then my heart burned like it was on fire its like 4 years ago now i am content in going to hell i tried almost everything but namaz prayer forgivness with tears i gave everthing to be forgiven i am tired of crying and whenever i cry my heart hurts and whatever i say its like i am lying now i have a question for you guyz that what happens if nifaq takes you over completly and as you know nifaq is a heart disease so what happens when you are sick of searious illness like cancer which is not bieng cured you will die right so what happen to heart with nifaq when its not being cured (sorry about my bad english i didnt sleep all night its hard to sleep when you know your abode is hell) and to the poster brother i would like to know you personally.Please Reply Guyz we need your help.