My husband has just divorced me, what next?

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Salam all, I would appreciate any advice. My husband has just divorced me by saying "I divorce you, I divorce you. I divorce you".

What happens now, what am I supposed to do?
 
The ‘iddah of a woman divorced by talaaq
​
Q. I hope that you can explain the ‘iddah of a woman divorced by talaaq.

A.Praise be to Allaah.
​

If the woman is divorced by talaaq before the man has entered upon her and been alone with her, i.e., before intercourse or intimacy with her, then she does not have to observe any ‘iddah at all. Simply by virtue of the divorce it becomes permissible for her to marry another man. But if he has entered upon her and been alone with her and had intercourse with her, then she has to observe the ‘iddah (waiting period) which takes one of the following forms:

1 – If she is pregnant then her ‘iddah lasts until the pregnancy ends and she delivers, whether that is a long time or a short one. It may so happen that he divorces her in the morning and she gives birth at noon, in which case her ‘iddah is over. Or it may be that he divorces her in Muharram and she does not give birth until Dhu’l-Hijjah, so she remains in ‘iddah for twelve months. The point is that the ‘iddah of the pregnant woman lasts until she gives birth, no matter what the case, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And for those who are pregnant (whether they are divorced or their husbands are dead), their ‘Iddah (prescribed period) is until they lay down their burden”

[al-Talaaq 65:4]

2 – If the woman is not pregnant and she menstruates (is of child-bearing age), then her ‘iddah is three complete menstrual cycles after the divorce, i.e., her period comes then she becomes pure, then her period comes again and she becomes pure, then her period comes again and she becomes pure. That is three complete menstrual cycles, regardless of whether the time between them is long or short. Based on this, if he divorces her and she is breastfeeding and does not menstruate until two years later, then she remains in ‘iddah until she has had three menstrual cycles, so she may stay in this state for two years or more. The point is that she should go through three complete menstrual cycles whether the time involved is long or short, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And divorced women shall wait (as regards their marriage) for three menstrual periods”

[al-Baqarah 2:228]

3 – If a woman does not menstruate, either because she is very young or old and past menopause, then her ‘iddah is three months, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And those of your women as have passed the age of monthly courses, for them the ‘Iddah (prescribed period), if you have doubt (about their periods), is three months; and for those who have no courses [(i.e. they are still immature) their ‘Iddah (prescribed period) is three months likewise…”

[al-Talaaq 65:4]

4 – If a woman’s periods have ceased for a known reason and she will not menstruate again, such as if her uterus has been removed (hysterectomy), then she is like one who has passed menopause and her ‘iddah is three months.

5 – If her periods have ceased and she knows the cause, she should wait for the cause to cease and for her periods to return, then she should observe ‘iddah according to her menstrual cycle.

6 – If her periods have ceased and she does not know what caused that, then the scholars say that she should observe an ‘iddah of a full year, nine months for pregnancy and three months for ‘iddah.

These are the categories of ‘iddah for women divorced by talaaq.

Shaykh Muhammad ibn ‘Uthaymeen, Majmoo’at As’ilah tahumm al-Usrah al-Muslimah, p. 61-63.

http://www.islamqa.com/en/ref/12667
 
A number of questions about divorce
​

Q. I have three urgent and, I believe,very imporatant questions about Divorce (Talaq).
1. Is what is known in the west as SEPARATION permitted in Islam? A muslim husband and wife with children living in the west are seriously considering divorce. Somebody suggested trying Separation first. The husband would move out to a place nearby but since they are still married there would be no problem comming in the house at any time. He would still continue to support the family in every respect.
2. For consummated marriage and with first Talaq, when does Eddah end? Is it the end of the third period (bleeding) or the beginning of the fourth one?
3. What is permitted during Eddah that would not constitute end of Talaq? I know that sexual intercourse is not, but is kissing, touching and hugging ok?

A. Praise be to Allaah.

With regard to the first question, the answer depends on the circumstances. If what is intended by this action is to reduce the level of tension in the relationship, then they will come back together, or as a trial separation to see what effect that will have on them and their children so that it will help them to take a decision, and they both agree to this temporary separation, then there is nothing wrong with that.

If this is a decision that they have both taken, and have agreed to separate from one another without divorcing, then it should be said that if the woman foregoes the rights that she will lose through this separation, and he also foregoes his rights over her, and they think that this is in their best interests and those of their children, and the place where the woman and her children will stay is a safe place where they will not suffer neglect, then that is permissible, subject to these conditions. But if she wants intimacy and he does not want to do that, or there is the fear that she may do something wrong whilst she is still married to him, and the like, then he should divorce her, but still continue to spend on his children. And Allaah knows best.

With regard to the second question: the ‘iddah of a divorced woman who has periods, with whom the marriage has been consummated and who is not pregnant, is a matter concerning which classical and contemporary scholars have differed. The view which is regarded as most correct by the majority of contemporary scholars, such as Shaykh Ibn Baaz and Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, and others, is that the ‘iddah ends when three menstrual periods have passed, and as soon as the third period ends, the ‘iddah ends. This is the view of many of the major Sahaabah such as ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab, ‘Ali ibn Abi Taalib and Ibn Mas’ood, and it was narrated by Ibn al-Qayyim from Abu Bakr, Abu Moosa and others (may Allaah be pleased with them all). (See Fataawa Islamiyyah, 3/310; Fataawa al-Talaaq by Shaykh Ibn Baaz, 193; Jaami’ Ahkaam al-Nisa’, 4/243).
With regard to the third question: “The women whose divorce is revocable (i.e., first or second talaaq) may uncover in front of her husband and adorn herself and wear make-up and perfume. She may speak to him and he may speak to her; she may sit with him and do anything with him apart from intercourse and the things that lead to it; that may only happen when he takes her back. (Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, Fataawa Islamiyyah, 3/310)

If he kisses and embraces his wife with the intention of taking her back, then that taking back is valid, with no difference of opinion among the scholars. But if he does not intend to take her back, then some scholars say that it is permissible on the grounds that she is his wife, but that it does not mean that he has taken her back; other scholars say that embracing and kissing etc. are precursors to intercourse, so the one who does them is sinning if he does not intend to take her back. To be on the safe side, he should not do that until after he has clearly stated that he is taking her back, such as saying to his wife, “I am taking you back,” and two Muslim witnesses bear witness to his taking her back by him saying in front of them, “I ask you to bear witness that I am taking my wife So and so back,” and the like. Then he may do whatever he likes of permissible things. And Allaah knows best.

(See Subul al-Salaam, 2/267).

Islam Q&A

Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

http://www.islamqa.com/en/ref/21413
 
AnonymousGender said:
Mark Im not feeling good right now. Cant believe this. Its hard being muslim in london some men seem to be losing there minds

Thanks for the other replies
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May Allah have mercy upon you.

When Allah wishes good for someone He afflicts him with trials.

Allah says:

O you who believe! seek assistance through patience and prayer; surely Allah is with the patient.

And do not speak of those who are slain in Allah's way as dead; nay, (they are) alive, but you do not perceive.

And We will most certainly try you with somewhat of fear and hunger and loss of property and lives and fruits; and give good news to the patient,

Who say, when afflicted with calamity: "To Allah We belong, and to Him is our return":-

Those are they on whom are blessings and mercy from their Lord, and those are the followers of the right course. [Al-Baqarah 2:153-157]
 
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:salamext:

.

And We will most certainly try you with somewhat of fear and hunger and loss of property and lives and fruits; and give good news to the patient,

Who, when a misfortune befalls them, say: Surely we are Allah's and to Him we shall surely return.

Those are they on whom are blessings and mercy from their Lord, and those are the followers of the right course. [2:155-157]

Umm Salamah (r) narrated: I heard the Messenger of Allah (
) say: "There is no Muslim who is stricken with a calamity and says what Allah has enjoined – 'Verily to Allaah we belong and unto Him is our return. O Allah, reward me for my affliction and compensate me with something better' – but Allah will compensate him with something better."

She said: When Abu Salamah died, I said: Who among the Muslims is better than Abu Salamah, the first household to migrate to join the Messenger of Allah (
)? Then I said it, and Allah compensated me with the Messenger of Allaah (
). [Muslim 918]
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AnonymousGender said:
Yes that is right, I am going to try a stay stong and have faith in Allah. The next three months will be a trying time.
Click to expand...

Be patient throughout this trial and I cannot stress this enough. Patience, patience and more patience is what is required from you. The one thing that mankind forget the most is mentioned the most in Qur'an.

And if We make him taste a favor after distress has afflicted him, he will certainly say: The evils are gone away from me. Most surely he is exulting, boasting;

Except those who are patient and do good, they shall have forgiveness and a great reward. [11:10-11]
 
'Abd-al Latif said:
Be patient throughout this trial and I cannot stress this enough. Patience, patience and more patience is what is required from you. The one thing that mankind forget the most is mentioned the most in Qur'an.

And if We make him taste a favor after distress has afflicted him, he will certainly say: The evils are gone away from me. Most surely he is exulting, boasting;

Except those who are patient and do good, they shall have forgiveness and a great reward. [11:10-11]
Click to expand...

Maybe i have made that mistake already
 
AnonymousGender said:
Maybe i have made that mistake already
Click to expand...

You are bound to make mistakes on the path to Jannah. Rectify yourself through repentance and a firm resolve to try harder and not return to that which will weaken you. Do not let shaytan deceive you to think that you have lost the rewards from Allah because he will use your sins against you to stop you from obedience to Allah. But Allah has kept you alive and well in this world so you will continue to have a chance with Him so long as you continue to try. Allah will not get tired of rewarding you until you stop asking Him for it.
 
'Abd-al Latif said:
You are bound to make mistakes on the path to Jannah. Rectify yourself through repentance and a firm resolve to try harder and not return to that which will weaken you. Do not let shaytan deceive you to think that you have lost the rewards from Allah because he will use your sins against you to stop you from obedience to Allah. But Allah has kept you alive and well in this world so you will continue to have a chance with Him so long as you continue to try. Allah will not get tired of rewarding you until you stop asking Him for it.
Click to expand...

Thank you I appreciate your input.
Jazallah khair
 
my sister in divorced too (she was only married for a month as well), but we are all happy because the guy was a total deceitful loser who didn't treat her right, lied, was rude to my parents, pretended he was all holey moley and was/is just blah +o( so if your husband did any of the above or even worse, then say good riddance :D seriously, i know it can be hard but think about it, his loss, your gain and one less to worry about :D
 
I am sorry sister, may Allah swt grant you that which is better..

pls forgive my ignorance but what does ida3a mean exactly (I have read and understood) of the three months wait or until parturition.. but what is it exactly? Is it a period in which you are still married, or can't get married? or what?

Jazakoum
 
AnonymousGender said:
Salam all, I would appreciate any advice. My husband has just divorced me by saying "I divorce you, I divorce you. I divorce you".

What happens now, what am I supposed to do?
Click to expand...

:sl:

may Allah make it easy on you sister!

39:22 Allah has now revealed the best of scriptures, a book uniform in style proclaiming promises and warnings. Those who fear their Lord are filled with awe as they listen to its revelations, so that their hearts soften at the remembrance of Allah. Such is Allah's guidance: He bestows it on whom He will. But he whom Allah misleads shall have none to guide him.
Click to expand...

3:55 They plotted, and Allah plotted. Allah is the supreme Plotter. He said: "Jesus, I am about to cause you to die and lift you up to Me. I shall take you away from the unbelievers and exalt your followers above them till the Day of Resurrection. Then to Me you shall all return and I shall judge your disputes. The unbelievers shall be sternly punished in this world and in the world to come: there shall be none to help them. As for those that have faith and do good works, they shall be given their reward in full. Allah does not love the evil-doers."
Click to expand...

you husbands misguidance is upon him. what IS important for you is to have food and shelter so that you may continue in your worship of Allah, Subhannahu wa Ta'aala! if you have that, you have everything.

as for finding another husband:

2:216...it may happen that ye hate a thing which is good for you, and it may happen that ye love a thing which is bad for you. Allah knoweth, ye know not.
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May Allah replace with him someone MUCH closer to the Din!

remember this hadith:

Narrated Abu Huraira:
The Prophet said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a losers
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seek the help of your brothers at the Masjid and find a brother with Taqwa and Tawawkul!

:wa:
 
Gossamer skye said:
I am sorry sister, may Allah swt grant you that which is better..

pls forgive my ignorance but what does ida3a mean exactly (I have read and understood) of the three months wait or until parturition.. but what is it exactly? Is it a period in which you are still married, or can't get married? or what?

Jazakoum
Click to expand...

idaah is the time not to have sex with the husband unless he wanst to ruju' and not to get married to anyone yet for 3 months...to make sure her uterus is really clean. So that there will be no confusion whose child would that be...if the wife got pregnant.

InshaAllah hopefully it make sense.
 
So sorry to hear thatimsad. Just focus on God He will give you peace, I promise!:statisfie

Move to US and find you a nice Italian boy.:D
He will treat you right.

Just trying to bring you a smile:D

God be with you......He already is.
 
syilla said:
idaah is the time not to have sex with the husband unless he wanst to ruju' and not to get married to anyone yet for 3 months...to make sure her uterus is really clean. So that there will be no confusion whose child would that be...if the wife got pregnant.

InshaAllah hopefully it make sense.
Click to expand...

:sl:

It does jazaki Allah khyran..

:wa:
 
I am feeling pain right in my heart for such a terrible situation with you my sis.
Allah will replace this with a very nice reward for you insha Allah.
 

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