My husband might have cheated on me, do i tell him that i know?

[jameelash]

salam,sister if ur dh is a religious hell never live wtih ex.i feel she may be his wife..in that case what can u do.he not in wrong.how long can u keep it with urself.if they still his wives ull have to accept the fact.if ex then he is doing haram.then ull have to be open chat with him or close relative to talk with him.afterall 4 wives r allowed in islam provided they r equally cared for.i doubt if he ever divorced her ..IF OTHER ONE IS STILL HIS WIFE ND DOESNT NO he is married whatll be her feeling if she comes to no of u.may ALLAH HELP UTO TAKE A GOOD DECISION

 

[aesa]

salam,sister if ur dh is a religious hell never live wtih ex.i feel she may be his wife..in that case what can u do.he not in wrong.how long can u keep it with urself.if they still his wives ull have to accept the fact.if ex then he is doing haram.then ull have to be open chat with him or close relative to talk with him.afterall 4 wives r allowed in islam provided they r equally cared for.i doubt if he ever divorced her ..IF OTHER ONE IS STILL HIS WIFE ND DOESNT NO he is married whatll be her feeling if she comes to no of u.may ALLAH HELP UTO TAKE A GOOD DECISION

salam,
she is NOT his wife, I really am sure of it.. She is MARRIED to someone else and lives in Italy and he lives with me in America. They only were with eachother for those few weeks while she visited with their daughter. I have already spoke to him about all this and I have spoken to her. The subject of the original post doesn't really matter anymore. In the past comments you can see he cheated on me with a different woman but NOT his ex girlfriend. That is what is bothering me, the matter of the original post has been sorted out, besides I honestly wouldn't mind if he got a second wife and he knows that. He doesn't want one though, which I don't understand, it makes more sense to have another wife rather than cheat on the one you have in order to save yourself from Allahs punishment. I guess most of my stress is just because I don't trust him at all anymore, and I don't trust that he has enough faith in Allah to stop himself from doing haram things.

 

[sister herb]

Salam alaykum

Dear sister,

In Islam it is a serious matter to claim that someone has made adultery (cheating). Are you sure about it? Can you prove it that he has really done it? Have you clear evidences or the witnesses for it or do you just think he has done such things?

I don´t think that situation in any marriage is good if wife and husband can´t trust to each others.

 

[ardianto]

Salam alaykum

Dear sister,

In Islam it is a serious matter to claim that someone has made adultery (cheating). Are you sure about it? Can you prove it that he has really done it? Have you clear evidences or the witnesses for it or do you just think he has done such things?

I don´t think that situation in any marriage is good if wife and husband can´t trust to each others.

Cheating the wife does not always mean the husband commits sexual relationship with another woman. There are few level of cheating in marriage. If the husband seduces another woman then have dinner together secretly, it's considered as cheating too which will make the wife jealous and feel uncomfortable.

 

[rhen]

I'm sorry sister but you are setting yourself up for a very depressing future.

From what I have read so far, he just doesn't seem like good husband material at all. Why has he married you when he can't forget his (ex) if it is. I want to also state that committing adultery is a major sin in Islam. You cannot overlook this.

You have to make a stand and state your rights as a wife. Be honest with your husband (you don't need to shout at him) but clearly if he cannot manage his past properly, what will he do with you, especially if you decide to have children in the future. Do not follow what most women do, and just bear with it just because he's your husband. He does not have the right to treat you like this.

At 18, only Allah can truly judge but please think about this carefully. You're still very young.

 

[hisnameiszzz]

I guess most of my stress is just because I don't trust him at all anymore, and I don't trust that he has enough faith in Allah to stop himself from doing haram things.

Salaams dear,

I am not married, nor am I a marriage counselor. But from what you have said, I think you have answered your own question. If you don't trust him at all anymore, why bother putting yourself through it any longer? If he comes home late from work, you will end up worrying what he is up to and with whom. Would it really be worth going through that and not trusting him?

Some people never change. You might want to believe he will, but as the quote goes "a leopard never changes it's spots".

For your sake, I hope it changes, but you need to sit down and have a good look at what has happened and if you can genuinely trust him. If you stick with him and he goes off to Italy or wherever his daughter lives, tell him you are also going and keep a check on him.

Also, as one of the previous posters has said, only accuse him of cheating if you genuinely know he has done. Accusing people of things that are not true are classed as a major sin. This was what the sermon before Jummah namaaz yesterday was. Dear, I am not saying you are accusing him and it is not true, but just thought I would re-iterate on what one of the previous posters said.

I wish you all the best for your future. I genuinely hope it works out for you.