my Last post on this forum for good

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smallkid

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I am recently experiencing alot of up and downs in my emaan. Alot of the times I have said Kufrana statements. However, I believe that the test is over for you guys.

Just assure me that ALLAH is in control of my life. Assure me that all the good and bad happens from Allah and there is goodness in everything. This will allow me see the seemingly bad thing as good.

Any personal stories will be preferred and assurance of Allah is in control of even bad things in life for ultimate goodness will be preffered.
 
Maybe you can share your personal experiences as to how the change began.

Which specific aspects have you concentrated on to bring change in you?

Thanks.
 
I noticed how much my emaan fluctuated by the kind of news that I was getting from the external environment and how much influenced I am by what people say.

This made me think differently. I am also yet to figure out the purpose of life. I mean youcan earn alot but theres a limit to utility or enjoyment. Also you can pray alot and strive for aakhirah but if you do not achieve anything in this world or fame what have you lived a life for. I really cant fugure out why are we in this world when we are so different in personalities and achievements. I
 
Thanks for your reply, smallkid.

It is a known fact that your environment and company has a big effect on a person and especially if the imaan is weak and surroundings are bad then it will have a negative effect more profoundly.

The purpose of life is to worship Allah swt as is mentioned in the Qur'an, and work towards the akhirah, because that is our final abode, not this world.

That is the system in the world that Allah has made everyone different and each one has their own tests to go through.
 
I know all sorts of people with all sorts of experiences.

People that have been through the same things and have it end differently.

People that live carelessly and those that are cautious.. Not always playing out as you would assume.

Alhamdulillah.. If you want someone else to take responsibility for your life,

Then your in the wrong place.

Half the time you would wonder why people do as they do and the other half why you were deserving of any of it.


There is no denying Allah swt.. For those with any knowledge or without.

He alone knows our hearts.
 
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I want to end a near-engagement because I think the girls paternal relatives are way below us in financial status, education level, and are too simple or unrefined in terms of how they should behave in the class or living standard. In our culture you have to associate alot with them. So please let me know if Allah will not hold me accountable or bring bad things in my life because of this. I have nothing against her maternal relatives or the girl. However, in our culture you dont just marry the girl, you marry the entire family. So please let me know if I can do that for my lifelong happiness without fearing any reproach from Allah.
 
Even my close friends will make fun of me that an MBA with textile mills running under him has to settle for them. May Allah give them a better match but I will not be able to live a life like that.
 
O_o .... +_+....

:| ... °-° .....

......and then the fight started??


No I'm kidding.. But not really. Love is hard work.
 
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No this is not the fight. This just self realization. My happiness should matter the most. I am pretty firm on that now.
 
Unfortunately I am not the ib agony uncle..

I can't tell you how to live and your elders can only suggest.. Probably..

Your choices ma mayn.

Makes a change from the parents won't marry you off scenario..

One day you will probably have kids of your own.
 
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smallkid said:
I want to end a near-engagement because I think the girls paternal relatives are way below us in financial status, education level, and are too simple or unrefined in terms of how they should behave in the class or living standard. In our culture you have to associate alot with them. So please let me know if Allah will not hold me accountable or bring bad things in my life because of this. I have nothing against her maternal relatives or the girl. However, in our culture you dont just marry the girl, you marry the entire family. So please let me know if I can do that for my lifelong happiness without fearing any reproach from Allah.
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My closeness with the girl who then became my wife happened because pity. I met her in highschool. Then I visited her home, and surprised when I saw, she was poor. She lived in very small house with only two small bed rooms for ten people!. That's why then when she wanted to have something and told me, I always bought for her. Even I paid her study cost in computer course after she told me that she was sad because her friends could continue study after graduate from highschool, while she was must stay at home. Her parents were too poor to pay her study cost. And the computer course that I paid could make her got a good job and help her family.

Just like in your culture, in my culture, if a man marries a woman, he marries the woman's entire family. But I didn't regard it as problem. I myself came from wealthy family. But since I was kid I have been taught to not differentiate people from social class.

Love doesn't recognize social class, love doesn't recognize difference. :)
 
In my case, theres no love. It is an arranged one. However, the final decision depends on me. Is there any dua or istikhara to solve the situation so that no body feels bad, and Allah provides both the families with better than each other ?
 
smallkid said:
My happiness should matter the most. I am pretty firm on that now.
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Happiness is like a butterfly, the more you chase it, the further it flies away.

The best way to find happiness, is when you make others happy. All the tv adverts about having what we want now, just make us selfish.

In the spirit of striving to do the will of God,

Eric
 
Greetings and peace be with you ardianto;

My closeness with the girl who then became my wife happened because pity. I met her in highschool. Then I visited her home, and surprised when I saw, she was poor. She lived in very small house with only two small bed rooms for ten people!. That's why then when she wanted to have something and told me, I always bought for her. Even I paid her study cost in computer course after she told me that she was sad because her friends could continue study after graduate from highschool, while she was must stay at home. Her parents were too poor to pay her study cost. And the computer course that I paid could make her got a good job and help her family.

Just like in your culture, in my culture, if a man marries a woman, he marries the woman's entire family. But I didn't regard it as problem. I myself came from wealthy family. But since I was kid I have been taught to not differentiate people from social class.

Love doesn't recognize social class, love doesn't recognize difference. :)
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You are an inspiration to us all.

Blessings

Eric
 
Eric H said:
Happiness is like a butterfly, the more you chase it, the further it flies away.

The best way to find happiness, is when you make others happy. All the tv adverts about having what we want now, just make us selfish.

In the spirit of striving to do the will of God,

Eric
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I totally agree Eric, the illusion of this life and at the same time the more we try to achieve what we want the more we get frustrated , happiness is temporary so we get frustrated so we need to achieve more so we can happy with ourselves, otherwise Allah created us human and made us his best creations even better than angels, I think we should work on ourselves and our hearts to purify them from those modern values " happiness, success, achievements, challenges", yet the words are innocents but they are related nowadays to a mode of life of famous people, of Materialism, of DUNIA.
 
Eric H said:
Happiness is like a butterfly, the more you chase it, the further it flies away. The best way to find happiness, is when you make others happy. All the tv adverts about having what we want now, just make us selfish.
Click to expand...

I normally agree with everything that you say ERIC H, but I disagree with you on this one completely.

I am now following what TV adverts and the media say about happiness.

All my life, I have done things and tried to make others happy and where has it got me? Absolutely nowhere. Don't get me wrong, I don't do good / kind things to get something back, but the concept of "make others happy and it will make you happy" is not true from where I am stood (well sitting actually).
 
:salam:

Firstly:

1. Keep away from people who joke about Allah.
2. Keep away from people who joke about Islam, or anything prohibited in Islam.

Search Allah, be careful for whom you befriend. They may either:

A. Destroy your akhira, make you heedless, etc.

B. It will build your akhira, etc.
 
hisnameiszzz said:
I normally agree with everything that you say ERIC H, but I disagree with you on this one completely.

I am now following what TV adverts and the media say about happiness.

All my life, I have done things and tried to make others happy and where has it got me? Absolutely nowhere. Don't get me wrong, I don't do good / kind things to get something back, but the concept of "make others happy and it will make you happy" is not true from where I am stood (well sitting actually).
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You can feel happiness only if your heart is open to feel the happiness.

I know that you have many problems. Unfortunately it makes you convince yourself that your life is unhappy. And unconsciously it seal your heart. That's why you cannot feel a happiness.

If you realize that you still can feel a happiness although you have many problems, In Shaa Allah, your heart will be open, and you can feel a happiness.

:)
 
Oh I do feel happiness. A lot. My nephews and niece came over yesterday and they rushed in shouting my name asking where I was. At times like that, all my worries disappear and I am literally in heaven.

I will be happy tomorrow too. I work in two different offices. They don't send me to one office much so when I go there tomorrow I will be able to catch up with my colleagues there. That fills me with happiness because they all message me saying they miss me.

I'm also filled with happiness when I give charity. I don't have much money but it's the thought of giving starving people food and trying to do good that fills me with joy and happiness.

I wish I could just move out with my family or the people next door all died or moved out, so I am not constantly harassed by them. It takes over your life. It really does.
 
:salamext:

We have given you stories and lots of examples in your other threads - if you can't see them then you need to open your eyes.
 

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