my Last post on this forum for good

[Hamza :)]

My closeness with the girl who then became my wife happened because pity. I met her in highschool. Then I visited her home, and surprised when I saw, she was poor. She lived in very small house with only two small bed rooms for ten people!. That's why then when she wanted to have something and told me, I always bought for her. Even I paid her study cost in computer course after she told me that she was sad because her friends could continue study after graduate from highschool, while she was must stay at home. Her parents were too poor to pay her study cost. And the computer course that I paid could make her got a good job and help her family.

Just like in your culture, in my culture, if a man marries a woman, he marries the woman's entire family. But I didn't regard it as problem. I myself came from wealthy family. But since I was kid I have been taught to not differentiate people from social class.

Love doesn't recognize social class, love doesn't recognize difference.

wow brother, just amazing.

May Allah increase you in goodness and may he reward you abundantly for what you did. Hope you both have a blessed marriage.
You don't hear many of such stories these days. Truly inspirational I must say.

 

[Hamza :)]

I normally agree with everything that you say ERIC H, but I disagree with you on this one completely.

I am now following what TV adverts and the media say about happiness.

All my life, I have done things and tried to make others happy and where has it got me? Absolutely nowhere. Don't get me wrong, I don't do good / kind things to get something back, but the concept of "make others happy and it will make you happy" is not true from where I am stood (well sitting actually).

If you help someone sincerely, the contentment you get is overwhelming and the feeling as amazing as it can get

 

[Abz2000]

My closeness with the girl who then became my wife happened because pity. I met her in highschool. Then I visited her home, and surprised when I saw, she was poor. She lived in very small house with only two small bed rooms for ten people!. That's why then when she wanted to have something and told me, I always bought for her. Even I paid her study cost in computer course after she told me that she was sad because her friends could continue study after graduate from highschool, while she was must stay at home. Her parents were too poor to pay her study cost. And the computer course that I paid could make her got a good job and help her family.

Just like in your culture, in my culture, if a man marries a woman, he marries the woman's entire family. But I didn't regard it as problem. I myself came from wealthy family. But since I was kid I have been taught to not differentiate people from social class.

Love doesn't recognize social class, love doesn't recognize difference.

Assalamu'alaikum

Correct me if i'm mistaken bro, but don't i recall you telling us back in 2011/12ish something along the lines of you took pity on her because her bf was beating her and you felt that she must be rescued from such abuse?

Smallkid, i know ur banned but may still flick through once in a while, i feel hypocritical giving advice because i've been stumbling a lot recently, it's still difficult to ignore such an issue though since it's been grappled with before and there are lessons learned.

Sometimes it's a case of evaluating with the brain, if it's not likely to work and you strongly feel you shouldn't then it would be wise to reconsider, but there may be a blessing in it that is not immediately apparent and shouldn't be dismissed lightly.
the Prophet (pbuh) is reported to have strongly advised a free-woman to marry zayd (ra) (ex-slave), it didn't ultimately work out,
but then he (pbuh) also reminded the parents of a girl who had rejected bilal (ra) (black ex-slave) that he (ra) was of the people of jannah and they then reconsidered and accepted, that seems to have worked out, sometimes high ranking ulama have touched upon the subject and i think ashraf ali tanwi said something along the lines of, it's better that they're more compatible, but then, it's ultimately your choice, and checking and confirming the intention honestly before Allah should make it easier for you to decide clearly and feel good about that decision, and also help to keep your faith in check.
Pls make dua for me.

 

[Eric H]

Greetings and peace be with you hisnameiszzz;

I normally agree with everything that you say ERIC H, but I disagree with you on this one completely.

Good for you, it would be a sad world if everyone agreed with me

All my life, I have done things and tried to make others happy and where has it got me? Absolutely nowhere.

Happiness is often a fleeting experience, I think a better feeling to strive for is contentment, to be happy with what we have.

I am now following what TV adverts and the media say about happiness.

My own thoughts are that keeping up with all the new stuff, always leads to us wanting newer and better products. What we want today becomes tomorrows junk.

Don't get me wrong, I don't do good / kind things to get something back, but the concept of "make others happy and it will make you happy" is not true from where I am stood (well sitting actually

Life is a journey, we make many changes in how we cope.

In the spirit of striving to do the will of Allah,

Eric

 

[Eric H]

Greetings and peace be with you all,

Here is a story about stress that I find helpful...

A lecturer, when explaining stress management to a class, raised a glass of water and asked, "how heavy is this glass of water?" Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g. The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it."

"If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. "In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

He continued, "And that's the way it is with stress. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on." "As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the demands of life."

(The original source of this story is unknown to us,
but its message resonates with many.)

Blessings

Eric

 

[ardianto]

Assalamualaikum.

wow brother, just amazing.

May Allah increase you in goodness and may he reward you abundantly for what you did. Hope you both have a blessed marriage.
You don't hear many of such stories these days. Truly inspirational I must say.

My beloved wife passed away in 2013, due to breast cancer. But I am still grateful because I've ever had her as my wife. She was a good wife. Now every time I made dua after salah I always tell Allah that she was a good wife, and wish Allah reward her.

Correct me if i'm mistaken bro, but don't i recall you telling us back in 2011/12ish something along the lines of you took pity on her because her bf was beating her and you felt that she must be rescued from such abuse?

I knew about that later after she began to dare to tell more about her life. Her bf didn't beat her, but treated her very rude and intimidated her mentally that made her depressed.

However, I didn't intend to separate her from her bf. That's why after I paid her study cost I left her and made a promise with another girl from south. But, like people say, spouse is in Allah hand. Later the girl from south decided to not marry me. So I married the girl who then became the mother of my children.

 

[Hamza :)]

Assalamualaikum.


My beloved wife passed away in 2013, due to breast cancer. But I am still grateful because I've ever had her as my wife. She was a good wife. Now every time I made dua after salah I always tell Allah that she was a good wife, and wish Allah reward her.

Sorry to hear that bro. May Allah subhaanahu wa ta'aala grant her a place in jannatul firdaws Al-A'la