.....my life is wasting away

[AnonymousPoster]

Salam,

the doctor says i'm bipolar,depression. i've been struggling with this for a long time.about5 years.i've been in and out school many times .3 different post-secondary schools. Bad attendance. never completed my education.debt$.been unemployed many times and relying on family..when i should be helping them.
see my biggest problem is i'm constantly down.Lack of energy. i spent most the years down. had a 2 month manic phase. Ended up in hospital twice.but most the years i was down . I need a charger. i've tried so many medications. And methods. i don't think i have a good doctor. i can't go to another one because he's the only one in town. I have lots of friends and co-workers that have bipolar and their totally fine.believe me i talked to them. i know medications work. they have improved some of my situation. But i want energy. If i had it i could move on with my life. I'd have the ablitily to think clearer, be more aware, be active etc. If i had those qualities i'd have the focuse and have motivation to read a book. If i could read a book it would help me with school. i could graduate then get a job. get married. have kids etc.this problem is even taking me very long to write this post.

i don't know what to do i'm 24. in a few months 25. time is flying. I feel like my life is wasting away

Maybe i can read something from the quran that might help. Can you guys point out parts i should focus on reading? And duas? if you guys have any other advice please share.

i'd like to add this is a real medical problem.this not the type of depression you might think it is. i don't want people coming and saying things like maybe i have weak iman. i'm saying this to filter out those people. yes i'm open and willing to try anything.whether it's a vitamin or directing me to a website or some sort exercize.maybe you know something i don't know .

thank you

 

[جوري]

Do you mind telling me how many meds you have been on, what they are and if you took yourself off these medications by yourself or were tapered off them by your doctor? and the longest period you have been on a medication, as well what stopped you from using them?

Also your gender

we'll work through this insha'Allah

:wa:

 

[AnonymousPoster]

Salam,

Thank You
Okay i hope this doesn't freak anyone out

My list. And i'll explain what i believe each medication did for me. not 100% sure but i think.

1. Lithium --been on it for 2 years. I think it took my anxiety away. The shaky feeling

2.Lamotrigine-- 1 year. I think it got me out of the house and gave a certain level of energy. and toned down my severy self-esteem problem ex. i had problems crossing the street because people are watching. didn't like the mall food court.basically i had serious problem being exposed to the public. i still have the problem.. just a lot less.

3. Wellbutrine XL-- 3 months--- I was given this to increase my energy. FAILED. But something really good came out of it and no one told me about.. it took the SADNESS/PAIN away. then all the bad thoughts i couldn't get under control .GONE.lt's was like a lid. rarely something comes up but IT"S A BIG DIFFERENCE. best so far.




4. Acetazolamide--I'm taking this medication for my eye . 1 year ago there was swelling and it has blurred the vision in my left eye. So i also take regular Xrays. What i wonder is if the eye problem is connected to the second medication. i don't want to point fingers at my doctor or least i want approach it correctly.

other info-
Apo-Lithium Carbonate 300mg(3 capsules at night)
Lamotrigine 100mg( 1 in morning 1 at night)
Wellbutrine XL 300mg
Apo-Acetazolamide 250mg( 1 in morning 1 at night)

 

[AnonymousPoster]

Do you mind telling me how many meds you have been on, what they are and if you took yourself off these medications by yourself or were tapered off them by your doctor? and the longest period you have been on a medication, as well what stopped you from using them?

Also your gender

we'll work through this insha'Allah

:wa:

I tried lots i'd have to go to the Pharamacy to get the list. And i usually listened to the doctor. I'm to scared to risk doing something on my own. I have a friend who took herself off and went againest the doctor (the same docotr)and she's fine. But she took her self off when she had energy where as I don't.

 

[desert winds]

Asslam alaikum.
I understand how you feel. You really need alot of positive people around you, people who will pull you up and i think its important to perhaps change your doctor, i am aware you mentioned another town but maybe another opinion can make a difference. I know at the moment it feels like you have hit a brick wall and this is it. Its not. Try another doctor. Im going to message you something i want you to try.

 

[AnonymousPoster]

Asslam alaikum.
I understand how you feel. You really need alot of positive people around you, people who will pull you up ,.

My family and the community have been very supportive. I have one friend who's family give her a hard time. And they push her and tease. making it worst and harder for her,That happens when people aren't well informed. But my family alhumdulilah helped! when i didn't know i had the problem my little sister taught my about depression and said maybe go to doctor. moms a sweet heart. she never claims when i don't help. my other little sister is sweet. some of the rest need work:hmm: i just shut them out.overall alhumdulilah

and i think its important to perhaps change your doctor i am aware you mentioned another town but maybe another opinion can make a difference. I know at the moment it feels like you have hit a brick wall and this is it. Its not. Try another doctor. Im going to message you something i want you to try.

yeah me and my mom are talking about going to a bigger city for couple of days to talk to a different doctor. The bigger city is the same place i was first manic in and when i got out of the hosptial i moved to my moms town to be taken cared of. I know a friend in that bigger city, she was in the hospital the same time as me. She recovered in 2 months. Me 3-4years still going. I'm going to email her and ask her if she can remember her doctor. iF i do that...will they ask about my other doctor?will there be issues ? what should i take with me? are there any problems i should consider ?

other thing we're planning to do is talk to the iman in the one mosque we have. And see his advise. So my plan.

1. IslamicBoard--in progress
2. Talk to Iman
3. Email friend.
4. different Doctor, different city


is everything i'm writing making sense? i hope the writings not to long

 

[AnonymousPoster]

oh yeah

salam and thankyou dessert wind

 

[جوري]

Salam,

Thank You
Okay i hope this doesn't freak anyone out

My list. And i'll explain what i believe each medication did for me. not 100% sure but i think.

1. Lithium --been on it for 2 years. I think it took my anxiety away. The shaky feeling

2.Lamotrigine-- 1 year. I think it got me out of the house and gave a certain level of energy. and toned down my severy self-esteem problem ex. i had problems crossing the street because people are watching. didn't like the mall food court.basically i had serious problem being exposed to the public. i still have the problem.. just a lot less.

3. Wellbutrine XL-- 3 months--- I was given this to increase my energy. FAILED. But something really good came out of it and no one told me about.. it took the SADNESS/PAIN away. then all the bad thoughts i couldn't get under control .GONE.lt's was like a lid. rarely something comes up but IT"S A BIG DIFFERENCE. best so far.




4. Acetazolamide--I'm taking this medication for my eye . 1 year ago there was swelling and it has blurred the vision in my left eye. So i also take regular Xrays. What i wonder is if the eye problem is connected to the second medication. i don't want to point fingers at my doctor or least i want approach it correctly.

other info-
Apo-Lithium Carbonate 300mg(3 capsules at night)
Lamotrigine 100mg( 1 in morning 1 at night)
Wellbutrine XL 300mg
Apo-Acetazolamide 250mg( 1 in morning 1 at night)

lithium needs frequent visits to the doctor as it has a very narrow therapeutic index but it is an excellent medication and a naturally occurring compound unless you were thinking of becoming pregnant then there is no reason to stop it, also, I didn't catch what the was the problem with lamotrigine?

you can't take a medication like welbutrin for 3 months and then quit, you need to be on it for at least 7 months to see some benefits.
carbonic anyhdrase are given for both gluacoma and types of seizures which btw the lamotrigine can also be given for. Medications aren't give for a specific thing like frequenting the bathroom to wash your hands from germs, they work on hormones, chemicals, neurotransmitters (the ones that are released in excess or in imbalanced way to attempt to bring the body to its normal state) so, in other words the things that cause you to have a specific behavior, if a medication is trying to correct an imbalance that you have, you can't simply quit it half way and decide it wasn't working for this particular problem.

we need you to take charge of what is ailing you.. and it will require some patience if you want to get better as is with everything else it doesn't get fixed over night.

Pls stay away from herbal meds, I just discussed one of those 'herbs' the other day in a completely unrelated topic
see here:

believing that
http://www.amazon.com/Similasan-Anx...ef=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1260562395&sr=8-1-spell

really will cure your anxiety over something like an SSRI which is FDA approved because doctors and pharmaceutical companies along with the FDA are evil but 'holistic medicine' is well holistic..
you even have strong endorsement from PhD's on the site
boasting the wonderful ''all natural ingredient' of Argentum nitricum!.. in other words Silver nitrate what they put in new borns eyes to ward of chlamydial infections.. not recommended for ingestion, least of which on daily basis let alone to treat anxiety !..

remember this guy

yup that is argyria (caused by silver ingestion) .. the same ingredient in the 'all natural' anti anxiety med.

so don't purchase something thinking it is a miracle cure without discussing it with a doctor first.

you need to get a diary to document your reaction to medications, you need to take them as prescribed and you need to follow up with appointments.

You can't do anything about the time gone, but you can do something about the time to come..

if you have any more questions or would like to discuss it in private then pls feel free to PM me..

 

[AnonymousPoster]

i'm sorry i think i explained it incorrectly. The FOUR medication i listed above i'm presently taking them right now. The other medications i have tried in the past are not on the list.

Sorry! about the ones i'm taking now i also wrote down the length of time i've used them.

As for herbs i'm pretty careful. I tried herbal tea grocery store stuff, and stuff like black seed. nothing further.

lithium needs frequent visits to the doctor as it has a very narrow therapeutic index but it is an excellent medication and a naturally occurring compound

you Did point something out! yeah your right. i see the doctor regularly and he usually tells me to get a blood test for my lithium levels? for last 6 months i haven't done them. On average i usually do it 1.5 months. I just got sick of the needels from the lithium and my eye problem. I'll get It done this week inshallah. and i noticed the last several months (5-7) my mood was getting worst. maybe it's the lithium . i'll check!

 

[Innocent Soul]

I hope this will help u a bit. :hmm:
http://www.scribd.com/doc/17621/Remedies-From-the-Holy-QurAn
http://www.islamicvoice.com/march.2003/muslim_pers.htm

 

[جوري]

i'm sorry i think i explained it incorrectly. The FOUR medication i listed above i'm presently taking them right now. The other medications i have tried in the past are not on the list.

Sorry! about the ones i'm taking now i also wrote down the length of time i've used them.

As for herbs i'm pretty careful. I tried herbal tea grocery store stuff, and stuff like black seed. nothing further.



you Did point something out! yeah your right. i see the doctor regularly and he usually tells me to get a blood test for my lithium levels? for last 6 months i haven't done them. On average i usually do it 1.5 months. I just got sick of the needels from the lithium and my eye problem. I'll get It done this week inshallah. and i noticed the last several months (5-7) my mood was getting worst. maybe it's the lithium . i'll check!

lithium can cause anything from hyper to hypothyroidism both very much affecting mood (heart rate) level of consciousness and in higher levels can cause some pretty serious problems, which I don't wish to delve into right now for the purposes of this thread.

It is very important to keep a diary, yes being stuck is an awful thing I am with you, I stick myself often to check my blood sugar and whatnot it is painful but it gives you control over other things..

I really believe that the first step to getting better is to realize you have a problem and set out to fix it, and you are doing that right now...

so this is what you'll do from now on even if on a blog, just start your 'mood diary' and jot down anything, no matter how little, for instance
monday- had breakfast, was feeling lousy, a little nervous and shaky, took medication, didn't feel much improvement, went to work or school or watched movie whatever..
then again
tuesday- went to the doctor, s/he told me that he needs to lower my dose of lithium and booked me an appointment for next week, meanwhile took meds as prescribed, noticing some subtle improvement in mood and vision
next week. really hated going for blood test but the tech. was nice and afterward I had a cup of cappuccino in a dainty coffee shop and took a walk in the park, watched some birds feed etc.

just do this everyday no entry big or small and you'll slowly gain insight to the things that bother you, the things that aren't working and you'll really gain perspective and be in charge of your body and mood, slowly that will spill into other areas...

hang tough and be well

 

[mustafaisb]

Sorry to hear about your situation. I've experienced the same thing, albeit to a lesser degree. I have to tell you though, I've taken this and I feel much happier and have lots of energy. Take fish oil. Take one in the morning after a good meal and one at night after a good meal. Take at least 2-3 per day. This helped me tremendously. It cured my depression and indolence. Also fish oil has been shown-by numerous studies- to alleviate the symptoms of mental disorders such as bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, psychosis, etc. Here's one link and there's many more if you look around on the net. http://ezinearticles.com/?Fish-Oil-in-Treatment-of-Psychosis&id=39353 Inshallah I hope you feel better after taking this. :wa:

 

[Ramadhan]

To the OP, do you exercise?

If you don't already exercise, then I'd recommend you to exercise regularly.
You don't need to do heavy work out, as long it's regular, if possible daily. If you can, go for a jog and swim in the morning and maybe some light exercise in the early evening. You would feel better afterwards, because exercise stimulate the brain to release endorphins. You will also sleep better, which help in beating the depression and lack of energy.
Game sports like tennis/badminton/football are also good for weekly exercise because apart from giving you the benefits of physical exercise, they also give you the benefits of social interactions and healthy competition.

You can also try to set some short term goals, the ones that are doable. They can be work-related, study-related, or even just setting simple goals like rearranging/tidying up your clothes in the closet. Once you've achieved your goals you will experience some "high" that makes you want to do another one. Set your goals regularly, if possible daily.

Also, please avoid stimulants, even if they are natural, such coffee and tea (don't be fooled by tea, it contains half as much amount as caffeine as coffee). If you are used to drinking coffee, initially it might be hard because you feel lethargic and caffeine is well, addictive, but please resist it.

 

[Eric H]

Greetings and peace be with you AnonymousGender;

I agree with naidamar, that exercise will contribute to your solution, I differ slightly with goal setting though. Aim for something a bit scary, if you take up jogging look towards completing a marathon by the end of next year.

That would mean doing a five mile event during spring, a half marathon about June, and the marathon by about September. You might be able to jog five or ten minutes to start with, but just keep pushing yourself a little further. If you don’t have an end goal in mind, then you may give up too soon.

In the spirit of making the first difficult steps.

Eric

 

[zakirs]

Al though i am inexperienced to give you enough advice on this issue.I pray for your health bro .Get well soon

 

[AnonymousPoster]

^thankyou.
just So everyone knows god created me as a female

This is for everyone

1. I stopped checking lithium levels. Around June 2009----- 6-8months ago
2. I do have a diary . Last entry July 30,2009-----6 months ago
3. I Exersize. Presently 1-3 times a week. Tuesday and Thurday --- gym bike. Saturday 2hour walk.

I use to work out at the gym 3-4 times a week. Bike. Trendmill. wieghts. Stretching. AND i would walk 50mins 2-5 times a week. I LOVE TO WALK. .

In Dec.15 2008 I weighed 230pounds( beacause of depression and medication side effects). Today is Dec. 22, 2009 . I weigh about 176 pounds. In one year.about 54 pounds Gone!

I excersize. My energy is declining. So i'm excersizeing less. This Started 7-8months ago.

4. I lost a job in June-7months ago. I blamed this for my mood decline. took 4-5months to find another job.Job lastested 1 month.fired. i was slow. making mistakes. Now no job

5.my sister said to eat fish. mustafaisb said"Take fish oil. Take one in the morning after a good meal and one at night after a good meal. Take at least 2-3 per day."

interesting.

I should talk about my diet. what i'm doing wrong

I haven't been eating well. Not sure how long. Yesterday I only had cereal and 5-6 small samosas.(one meal) i rather be hungry then get something. Last night i paid for it and today. i ate something i shouldn't have had and i got sick in the bathroom. I got so sick i was on the floor.dizzy, my heart was beating fast,chest hurt.,my head was pounding, sweating. massive stomach pain . i was scared i was having a heart attack. I told two people i wasn't eating right so don't be alarmed.Today i ordered food to come the house and i always avoid outside food. I have little appetite, I'm not focusing on halal meat anymore until i can get my appetite back. minus pork.

Thank you guys . I live in a brain fog. You are helping see everything one by one.

I was doing better in the earlier part of the year but i was still depressed. My motivation?dec 15. 2008 the doctor advised me to lose wieght to ease the pressure swellling in me eyes. I was scared. the minute i walked out of the building i did a 1 hour walk to bus stop. he asked for. 20-25 pounds. I've lost 54:hmm: i was also on a new medication the same time i was motivated. Lamotrigine. Took it in Aug-Oct?2008 started to feel better in November 2008. so my best period in my whole depression . Nov.2008--Jun2009


Goal.
Lithium level check thurdays or friday. Might be a problem Christmas.
diary. tonight
exercise increase.tomorrow.
diet -buy a big long Sub. From Subway. tomorrow

God willing i'll answer back in about a week.
Jazakharin. Thankyou all
w/salam

 

[AnonymousPoster]

Sister if it isn't to much of a problem can you keep us informed about your condition? :wa:

 

[AnonymousPoster]

okay. i'll post. i'll even check in tomorrow inshallah.

i don't know how guys view my situation.....but..just so u guys know i'm actually a happy person even now right now.i'm serious i think i'm blessed. i'm not worried .i just want feel good and not waste anymore time.

w/salam

 

[AnonymousPoster]

me saying i'm happy is probably confusing .
especially since i have mood disorder.

I feel yucky and extremely tried,but i still have the ability to laugh. that makes sense. at least to me it does

w/salam again:hmm:

 

[zakirs]

Its ok sister we all go through a similar phase.No normal human is totally confident of himself or his feelings.Stay strong and stop worrying .. worrying increases your problems further .


Happy eating at subway