My marriage from day one has had more downs than ups, i feel like im in a nightmare,

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Imraan said:
I am speechless...

earlier this month the ex filed for an order called a non molestation order ex-parte (without notice to the accused) with the most outrageous conditions which was granted by the family court on a provisional basis, the first hearing in regards to this order takes place 30th of this month where I can challenge it. I didnt think anything of it.

out the blue monday morning police come to my house asking for me, they then phone me because im not at home and tell me to come to station for 30 minutes. so i agree to come after work. I go there at 6, get arrested at 632pm and booked into custody detention at 7pm, they remove all belongings on me, they say not long for interview now. its now after 8pm and im still stuck in cell, they say no interviewing officers available and that i have to stay overnight. the following day i stay in the cell until 3pm, the interview is done at 3pm and i am let go 4:30pm, they give me everything back apart from my phone.

the allegations are that ive been sending malicious text messages, i haven't, they have no evidence incriminating me, just my name and conditions that im not supposed to be threatening the ex wife etc.

The ex wife and her family have staged these text messages weeks after they filed the order and then logged it with police blaming me. The police were very quick in arresting me. Yet here I am trying to get police support for what me and my family have been going through and it has been hard to get.

I've got some more court hearings this year regarding my daughter, this stunt was pulled by the ex to defame my standing in these hearings to make it difficult for me. The mere mention of being arrested and investigated will influence judges for sure.

I will probably decide something about my daughter by the end of the year. Can't live like this.

Bi'idnillah
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You are aware you are heading the road where you reputation will be defamed for life and your life will be ruined and in additional to that you still will not get access to your daughter and your daughter will still have nothing to do with you and in the end of it all, cutting ties between you and your daughter will be successful but now your life is ruined where you cannot move on. I suggest while you still have a chance to move on, to let go of her and move on. Leave the country if you must and build a new life with a new wife and make new children. For all you know, Allah (Subhanahu Wa Talaa) will gift you with a new daughter but even better than this one. How do you know this little baby girl what she will be like when grows up.

Quit, go and leave. Let them. I once heard from a great wisdom from an elder man who ones said, "Sometimes there are battles that a man cannot win. There is no shame in running away from that battle." Let go of her. You have done all you could and Allah does not want you to harm yourself. Your daughter is now a harmful weapon. Leave. Please.
 
Assalam O Alaikum WaRahmatullahi WaBarakatuhu Brother Imran,

Stay strong, be patient and keep on fighting against injustice. Even if entire world is against you, remember that Allah is with you because you are on the truth.

I ask Allah Subhanahu Wa Taa’la to protect your honor, make your affairs easy for you and expose the evils plans of your enemies. Ameen!

Ma’aSalaam
 
Imraan said:
I am speechless...

earlier this month the ex filed for an order called a non molestation order ex-parte (without notice to the accused) with the most outrageous conditions which was granted by the family court on a provisional basis, the first hearing in regards to this order takes place 30th of this month where I can challenge it. I didnt think anything of it.

out the blue monday morning police come to my house asking for me, they then phone me because im not at home and tell me to come to station for 30 minutes. so i agree to come after work. I go there at 6, get arrested at 632pm and booked into custody detention at 7pm, they remove all belongings on me, they say not long for interview now. its now after 8pm and im still stuck in cell, they say no interviewing officers available and that i have to stay overnight. the following day i stay in the cell until 3pm, the interview is done at 3pm and i am let go 4:30pm, they give me everything back apart from my phone.

the allegations are that ive been sending malicious text messages, i haven't, they have no evidence incriminating me, just my name and conditions that im not supposed to be threatening the ex wife etc.

The ex wife and her family have staged these text messages weeks after they filed the order and then logged it with police blaming me. The police were very quick in arresting me. Yet here I am trying to get police support for what me and my family have been going through and it has been hard to get.

I've got some more court hearings this year regarding my daughter, this stunt was pulled by the ex to defame my standing in these hearings to make it difficult for me. The mere mention of being arrested and investigated will influence judges for sure.

I will probably decide something about my daughter by the end of the year. Can't live like this.

Bi'idnillah
Click to expand...

Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji'oon

Respected brother, I'm really sorry to know that and I pray for you with all my heart that Allah ta’ala removes all your difficulties and replace them with peace, security, protection and happiness. May He SWT always be with you.
 
Assalam o alaikum rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu

How are you brother imran
 
taha_ said:
Assalam o alaikum rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu

How are you brother imran
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Walaikum Salaam Wa rahmatullahi Wa Barakatu my dear young brother Taha. Thank you for remembering me, thank you for praying for me.

Situation at the moment:

Still under investigating regarding suspicions on breaching an order and for harassment, the police still have my phone, Im hoping to be exonerated by end of October, after which, Insh Allah if there is no charge, I will have to launch a counter allegation for defamation of character and false accusations, on top of that I have to file a complaint and look at taking action against the police because of circumstances unique to this allegation and because of what they put me through at the request of the ex partner. Due to the courts being so slow, the NMO will stay active, the next hearing for the court to discuss my defence will be January 2021.... Bear in mind this is separate to the case for my child....

No further window breaks since June but I do stay awake until 1 or 2am waiting for these guys, I expect these guys any moment. The two of the three guys that were caught, well that investigation Continues... Instructions to London MET for their arrest in London was sent by local police only couple of weeks ago. Over three months now...! I have been liaising with the investigator nearly every 3 days to get this progressed quickly, but still going very very slow

Since August I still make effort to see my 3 year old daughter on a fortnightly basis with the assistance from the court. The court case regarding my child still continues as I fend off so many false allegations from the ex... It is a very long process.....and I may pack it in eventually if I can't get anywhere.

I have been taken off furlough and alhamdulillah I am back at work full time I must say these Incidents do affect performance at work and in general so I've had to counter that too...

Family are prompting me to go abroad next year to get remarried.. So I am thinking about it.

I continue to pray everyday for guidance, justice, protection and blessings from Allah swt. I am still hopeful and do not want to let go of hope, faith and the qadr and power of Allah swt. Allahu Akbar.

May he make it easy for all who are suffering....
 
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Assalam o alaikum rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu.

I still can't understand how much pain you felt because I've never faced such trials.

May Allah help you and grant you strength and justice. Dont despair Allah's mercy.
 
Walaikum Salaam, I don't think many people go through what I go through.

Although it's likely people go through much worse.

I think this is one of few cases where the journey and trials inflicted by evil people who claim they are Muslims.... have been documented.

Astagfirullah. May our sins be expiated as a result..
 
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Imraan said:
Walaikum Salaam, I don't think many people go through what I go through.

Although it's likely people go through much worse.

I think this is one of few cases where the journey and trials inflicted by evil people who claim they are Muslims.... have been documented.

Astagfirullah. May mine and my families sins be expiated as a result..
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Brother....what you go through is as common as sneezing and even by Muslim people IN A MUSLIM country!!! Your case is not unique or special....it is soo common it is like walking and you see debris, rocks and sand on the ground. Common.
 
Walaikum Salaam, I don't think many people go through what I go through.

Although it's likely people go through much worse.

I think this is one of few cases where the journey and trials inflicted by evil people who claim they are Muslims.... have been documented.

Astagfirullah. May our sins be expiated as a result..​
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Ameen.
Everyone has their own tests and trials that can really put them in the lows in different wways. You are have been put to such a hard fitna. Keep pushing. This is your test and soon inshAllah ease will come. But you will always have problems in life. So never give up, because Allah will love you even more for that. And I remember when you first were commenting on another post, worrying about whether your daughter will love you. I was giving you advice not knowing what hit you. Alhamdulilah, you are concerned for the right things. May Allah make it easy on you and keep your good character well. Do not let this change you as a person and always strive to be the best Muslim you can be and cry and pray to Allah.​

 
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Wait I am confused on one thing. I haven't actually read the whole post and your updates. But i did see one part, she had the evil eye? You know that thing can literally tear apart marriages.

“The Evil Eye is real and can bring down a person from a high mountain.” (Sahih al Jami' 4146)

It can be very serious and there are people who come close to death because of this.

I know this was probably too late to be said. I wish I saw that part earlier, but do you know if she is being treated? Ayn can tear up families so bad it is something very serious

But I think regardless of evil eye, there was always something suspicious since the start of the marriage. Maybe she just isn't the person right for this. I'm just mentioning that it could have escalated thhings
 
xboxisdead said:
Brother....what you go through is as common as sneezing and even by Muslim people IN A MUSLIM country!!! Your case is not unique or special....it is soo common it is like walking and you see debris, rocks and sand on the ground. Common.
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But this was a family that read quran everyday, prayed tahajjud, prayed 5 x salaah, gave charity generously..... Can't speak for every family member but they adopted this in their household...

They broke my windows one week after they did ummrah..

I am lost for words and it's made me more sceptical, when someone claims they are pious, this and that i get Into a frenzy of mentally finding out how valid someone's claim is.....

I don't want to paint everyone with the same brush....
 
Islami.mu'min said:
Wait I am confused on one thing. I haven't actually read the whole post and your updates. But i did see one part, she had the evil eye? You know that thing can literally tear apart marriages.

“The Evil Eye is real and can bring down a person from a high mountain.” (Sahih al Jami' 4146)

It can be very serious and there are people who come close to death because of this.

I know this was probably too late to be said. I wish I saw that part earlier, but do you know if she is being treated? Ayn can tear up families so bad it is something very serious

But I think regardless of evil eye, there was always something suspicious since the start of the marriage. Maybe she just isn't the person right for this. I'm just mentioning that it could have escalated thhings
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I don't think her thing is as serious as death... Else something might have happened by now... But she was definitely affected by something or she was making it up and using it as a escape route.

It takes a certain individual to understand their situation who tries to make better decisions for whats right.. Off course Allah swt guides whom he wills.....

My immediate family (my ex and child) was torn apart literally one week after diagnosis.... We went to see a guy in Derby in the UK, it was the 1st or 2nd fast Ramadan 2018 and I'd never seen before in my whole life what I had seen that day. Guy was performing rukya... Recitations, her hands were shaking and slowly elevating upto 1 or 2 inches, her chest was pulsating furiously as she was breathing in and out, tears were dripping from her eyes on the side of her face..

Anyway one week after diagnosis our seperation happened..

After we split we stayed in contact for two months, she said she was going to get treatment from someone in East London, whether she got it or not... I'll never know.... Tried to guide her and stick with her... She just weren't having it...

The cause of our seperation could be attributed to many factors... Even combined... Ayn, marital expectations... Behaviour, character, compatibility and qadr... I'll never know... all i know is according to our religion there will be substantial recompense... Most people suffering from a seperation do not go through what me and my family have gone through, it's more mild in most cases.

Looking back and looking at everything that has happened, seperation was the best move... The lesser of two evils... Who knows what her and her family would have done had she remained in my household....

Just a matter of time when tables turn... I keep telling myself...

Insh Allah.
 
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Imraan said:
But this was a family that read quran everyday, prayed tahajjud, prayed 5 x salaah, gave charity generously..... Can't speak for every family member but they adopted this in their household...

They broke my windows one week after they did ummrah..

I am lost for words and it's made me more sceptical, when someone claims they are pious, this and that i get Into a frenzy of mentally finding out how valid someone's claim is.....

I don't want to paint everyone with the same brush....
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You know sometimes painting is ok brother. There is nothing wrong to being discriminator on the person. Don't fall for the liberal mantra that is wrong to be discriminator on a person. That being said, marriage is like applying for a job position or in this case you are the company who are hiring an employee. Your wife is your employee and you are the manager. It make sense, now doesn't it? In Islam who is the qayama, the man or the woman? The man. The husband is the head of the household. The husband is the one who does the decision making and the husband is the one who have the last say in matter, the wife is suppose to obey and follow without having to convince her, have sheikhs over sheikhs try to convince her and explain to her the reason, have to go to therapy and go mountains and back for her to get convinced for that one decision making...so what does that make the wife....an employee and the husband? The manager. So marriage is combination of form of hiring an employee for a husband and wife going for a job position and working in a company. Why am I saying this? Because if YOU STILL do want to get married in...this time get her resume. Get her criminal record. See her past history. Look for red alerts. See if the family is truthful or hiding something. Ask of her picture as a child, in case she cheated you by going to beauty and surgery and this is not the look that she say it is. Observe the family, are they controlling. Is the mother-in-law the boss of the house and her husband is nothing more than a money making machine and he have no say....YOU ARE IN trouble...run from marriage. Who is more aggressive and want to have the last say...her mother or father? When you meet the daughter who is talking to you...the mother or the father.....if it is the mother and the father is mute....run. If her mother interfers a lot in her life...run. If the girl follows her mother and want to please her mother over you...run. These are research you need to do before you jump to marriage next. Forget the double face of makeup, smelling good, giggling and laughing at your jokes, or trying to please you at the first date or more. No. You need to dig seriously deep. SERIOUS deep...find everything about her and her family...the good and ESPECIALLY the bad...leave no detail unturned. Observe the siblings and the like. You need to be researching, testing and observing for one entire year. If she passed after a year, leave and marry where husbands rights are protected and plant your seed there. Liberal, Western and feminist ideology law world will fail and toxic for marriage foundations and will not work. Does she believe in equality where the husband and wife are equal (goes against the Qura'an where Allah said a man have higher degree over a woman for what he spends on them) then such foundation will shake and fail. Does the wife want nothing for you to spend on her so that you do not have a higher degree over her and be equal to you and she can go and do as she pleases and both of you have to convince each other to make the final decision even if you disagree in that decision you must CONVINCE her why you disagree.....run. This foundation will fail. Unless Allah creates a third gender and that third gender does the decision making for both of you...the marriage will fail if you both are in the same level. Does she want to be the dominant and you obey her...99.99% of men are miserable in this setting and 99.99% of the time the female is tyrant in this setting. This will also fail. Run!

You did not do your research when you married this woman and you ignored all the red flags. Now look at you. Look what you went through. I do hope you will learn from this experience brother.
 
xboxisdead said:
You know sometimes painting is ok brother. There is nothing wrong to being discriminator on the person. Don't fall for the liberal mantra that is wrong to be discriminator on a person. That being said, marriage is like applying for a job position or in this case you are the company who are hiring an employee. Your wife is your employee and you are the manager. It make sense, now doesn't it? In Islam who is the qayama, the man or the woman? The man. The husband is the head of the household. The husband is the one who does the decision making and the husband is the one who have the last say in matter, the wife is suppose to obey and follow without having to convince her, have sheikhs over sheikhs try to convince her and explain to her the reason, have to go to therapy and go mountains and back for her to get convinced for that one decision making...so what does that make the wife....an employee and the husband? The manager. So marriage is combination of form of hiring an employee for a husband and wife going for a job position and working in a company. Why am I saying this? Because if YOU STILL do want to get married in...this time get her resume. Get her criminal record. See her past history. Look for red alerts. See if the family is truthful or hiding something. Ask of her picture as a child, in case she cheated you by going to beauty and surgery and this is not the look that she say it is. Observe the family, are they controlling. Is the mother-in-law the boss of the house and her husband is nothing more than a money making machine and he have no say....YOU ARE IN trouble...run from marriage. Who is more aggressive and want to have the last say...her mother or father? When you meet the daughter who is talking to you...the mother or the father.....if it is the mother and the father is mute....run. If her mother interfers a lot in her life...run. If the girl follows her mother and want to please her mother over you...run. These are research you need to do before you jump to marriage next. Forget the double face of makeup, smelling good, giggling and laughing at your jokes, or trying to please you at the first date or more. No. You need to dig seriously deep. SERIOUS deep...find everything about her and her family...the good and ESPECIALLY the bad...leave no detail unturned. Observe the siblings and the like. You need to be researching, testing and observing for one entire year. If she passed after a year, leave and marry where husbands rights are protected and plant your seed there. Liberal, Western and feminist ideology law world will fail and toxic for marriage foundations and will not work. Does she believe in equality where the husband and wife are equal (goes against the Qura'an where Allah said a man have higher degree over a woman for what he spends on them) then such foundation will shake and fail. Does the wife want nothing for you to spend on her so that you do not have a higher degree over her and be equal to you and she can go and do as she pleases and both of you have to convince each other to make the final decision even if you disagree in that decision you must CONVINCE her why you disagree.....run. This foundation will fail. Unless Allah creates a third gender and that third gender does the decision making for both of you...the marriage will fail if you both are in the same level. Does she want to be the dominant and you obey her...99.99% of men are miserable in this setting and 99.99% of the time the female is tyrant in this setting. This will also fail. Run!

You did not do your research when you married this woman and you ignored all the red flags. Now look at you. Look what you went through. I do hope you will learn from this experience brother.
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Brother I have learnt a lot and I've learnt the hard way. I feel its so late in the day, everyone's circumstances are different I suppose......
 
Assalam o alaikum rahamutullahi wa barakuthu.

How are you brother Imran and your family? is everything alright?
 
walaikum salaam brother [MENTION=44758]taha_[/MENTION]

alhamdulillah everyday every morning, i wake is a blessing.

court hearing regarding my daughter coming up end of the month, more rights will be awarded to me on that day, the threat level will also increase potentially, police will be made aware, i feel like I was'nt made for this yet here I remain continuing to resist the oppression....

i asked a relative of mine, isnt ease suppose to come after hardship, he replies..... "brother ease comes after death!", i reply, you got to keep faith bro, we make dua everyday, one day, one single moment is all we need to fix this.... (the same relative of mine had gone through the same thing regarding his kids, but without the violence and criminal damage etc...), he's stabilized somewhat and remarried....

i'm still under investigation as police are so slow in concluding, while that stays in limbo, my character stays somewhat tarnished under the eyes of the law....

have got other stuff goin on in my family, separate to this issue, that doesnt help... may Allah swt guide us and protect us all....
 
Had a hearing today regarding my kid, the opposition have once again manipulated the law and the courts with falsification prompting facts to be determined by the court which adds on another 5 months of speculation. This stops me meeting my kid for another 5 months... I feel sad and devestated.....
 
Imraan said:
Had a hearing today regarding my kid, the opposition have once again manipulated the law and the courts with falsification prompting facts to be determined by the court which adds on another 5 months of speculation. This stops me meeting my kid for another 5 months... I feel sad and devestated.....
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The court system is designed and dajjal system is designed to separate father and child and give women 100% power over raising the children. The system is designed to remove father from family. Once the father is removed and children is 100% in control of women then the government can have easy access to the new generation. I tell you how. Women are used as tools by the government to control the country and control men. Through women they can control new generation and new men and weaken them to be submissive and obedient to the government. Destroy men. Destroy masculinity. Destroy fatherhood. Destroy boys. You go the country underneath your feet. Your ex-wife is the tool used by the government and it is working great.

I am exhausted in repeating this same drone again and again. Make sure you financially support the child....and move on.
 
Was arrested again this week, this time spending 13 hours at the police station, circumstances same as July, was released immediately after Interview due to no evidence.

Please brothers and sisters, keep praying.

This falsehood will not last forever, insh Sha Allah there will be recompense in this dunya... And all truth will be revealed.

Help me stay strong, remember me and my family in your duas.
[MENTION=16760]xboxisdead[/MENTION] I appreciate your concerns and advice, I have firm belief myself was supposed to go through this journey by the will and qadr of Allah. It wasn't just my free will alone that led me to these circumstances although I should have tied the camel.

I say to myself. Look how much I have suffered.... Why give up now....

There is still a little girl there that doesn't even know what's going on, she turned 3 in September.

Yes I cry, I'm depressed, suffering from anxiety...

It is all from Allah swt....

Its not easy letting go of a family member.

Yes I should move on, in sha Allah I already have plans to and I'm open to suggestions by my family. I am aware time is short and I will put in more effort.

Dealing with these people in London... Maybe it was in my fate to deal with these evil people, no one wants to deal with evil people but if you find yourself dealing with them, it can't be entirely by your free will and your decisions can it?

Allah swt guides whom he wills, these people in London have had enough chances to stop what they're doing, yet they still behave this way. Nothing lasts.....
 

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