My parents refused him for his nationality and ex-religion...

[helpme123]

:laugh:Assalmu Alaykumm

Thank you brothers and sisters for taking the time to help me in my situation

Four years ago, i met a catholic man. He smoked and drank and slept around and was in a deep depression. After meeting me and seeing how much of a deep love i had for my religion, he (byhimself i never told him to) took Islamic classes. 5 months later, he converted to Islam. Right now, he does everything halaal, he prays and he even fasted Ramadan before he officially converted, and we plan on going to Hajj together after marriage INSHALLAH. My own father used to drink and smoke, and didnt pray when he was his age, he did not start praying since 10 yrs ago. My mother didnt wear a hijab until 3 years ago, and didnt start praying until a year ago. Although he was onyl muslim for 4 years, he is already a better muslim than both my parents are. His sister married a muslim man and converted and wears a hijab also. he is also very respectful and comes from a good family and he is also rich mashallah (i didnt know about his income when we met, he kept it a secret lol)
My parents wont accept him, only because he used to be a catholic. And also because we are palestinian and he is lebanese. I dont see these as valid reasons for regecting him, because i will never look at another man and will vow to chastisy if i dont marry him.
Is there anything i can do? Is there anyway to convince them? They obviously dont care what religion says, because in Islam a person’s religious-ness matters not what they were or what nationality. And they obviously care about what people will say (so-and-so’s daughter married a lebanese man who used to be catholic) than my happiness…..
PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!! I have had many sleepless nights, and crying myself to sleep, i dont know what to do…..

Jazzak Allah khaiir

 

[Medina83]

Can we keep the sarcasm and name calling out of it please both of you? Where is Islam in that?

Sister,
I think the point Anonymous is trying to make is that it appears you have had non halal contact with this man and thats why it appears a contradiction. Be that as it may, we are all sinners estaghfirullah. How you got into loving him is of no actual relevance here so lets drop that ...except if this is the actual real cause of your parents disapproval?

Also Anonymous is pointing out that you are putting this man before your parents. I understand it is difficult as their reasons seem un-islamic. I understand you are naturally heart-broken.

My advice would be:
-Pray Istikhara about this man, often we want things for ourselves which appear good and are not. He may very well not be good for you in the long term or he may be very good for you in the long term. You are not going to know until you pray Istikhara!

-Anger, impatience and fighting ones parents are not part of Islamic conduct. Yes it seems to you know they are being unjust..but how can you want Islamic conduct from them if you are not practising it yourself? Calm down and be patient and perhaps InshaAllah, Allah swt will reward you with the marriage you desire.

-Talk to your parents in a calm rational manner. Act like an adult and not throwing a temper tantrum. Tell them you accept their reasons and that you are having difficulty understanding why these reasons are important enough to refuse the marriage. They obviously have fears for you themselves and maybe some pride, Allahu ahlam, you cannot respond to them until you fully understand their thinking. Do not under any circumstance throw their history in their faces, you are doing exactly the same as them in that case.

-Sister, pray dua to Allah swt to guide you on the right path. You do not know the future. Ask Allah swt to put you in the best of marriages, one that would be good for your iman and his iman.

Rise above it and most of all, accept the will of Allah swt with patience .

 

[Fishman]

Congrats to the brother for converting to Islam! Marshallaah!

Maybe the parents should remember that their ancestors were probably converts from Christianity too, Palestine was once a Roman province...

 

[Medina83]

If someone's attitude makes you angry bro (and personally I didn't like Anon's style although I saw his point), even if you feel justified, you should speak kindly to them, that is the sunnah And this is a reminder to myself aswell

 

[MadeenJibreel]

akhi ultra-super mod (whoever deleted my post)

why did my post get annihilated?? If you feel I was too sharp, then ban me please.

 

[NoName55]

akhi ultra-super mod (whoever deleted my post)

why did my post get annihilated?? If you feel I was too sharp, then ban me please.

it was not personal. The Brother deleted it as part of a chain (I reported the bashing of undiplomatic anon)

 

[Woodrow]

akhi ultra-super mod (whoever deleted my post)

why did my post get annihilated?? If you feel I was too sharp, then ban me please.

I was the one who did that. It was not that any post was seriously wrong, but the whole line of posts had taken the thread off topic and became personal arguments.

Your post was part of a string of off topic posts. After I deleted some of the posts before yours, the posts yours related to, were gone and it left yours without reference. It was better to remove the entire string.

 

[Lina]

Maybe you can ask someone in the family or someone knowlegable on our deen to talk to your parents?

Wa Allahu A'lam.

 

[islamic]

we have to call people toward Islam, we have to invite ALL toward Islam, in the way of Allah, the One and Only God.
I don't know of any Quranic verse or Hadith that says .. if a person honestly accepted Islam and he practice Islam trying to be good muslim, you reject him and don't accept him. Why? because he was once catholic or protestant or atheist!
Even atheists we should grand them place of security so they can hear the message of Islam, the world of Allah and inshAllah they became muslims.
I think this attitude of your parents is not good BUT don't fight with them. Try for yourself to practice more Islam, pray Allah to soft their heart and also say thanks to Allah that the Catholic guy accepted Islam.
InshaAllah it will be good.

 

[nevesirth]

go ahead and marry him without ur parents consent, most parents refuse to reason at times, cant they see its not always about them, its ur life and ur happiness in question. what does nationality have to do with being a good muslim. i think many muslims are hypocrites,talk abt one united ummah but are still racist and biased when it comes to ethnicit, nationality or whatever. i wonder wht ur parents wud have done if the man was a senegalese black man

 

[MadeenJibreel]

I was the one who did that. It was not that any post was seriously wrong, but the whole line of posts had taken the thread off topic and became personal arguments.

Your post was part of a string of off topic posts. After I deleted some of the posts before yours, the posts yours related to, were gone and it left yours without reference. It was better to remove the entire string.

I figured that out later on just after (I complained), mashaAllah, I'm still not (that) old. :giggling:
Anyway, I can't stand if people talk like that bro in his reply to the OP. Back to the point: there are parents who think they know best, but seriously: how can a parent talk about someone's past having this as an argument to refuse to let her daughter get married to that man? And talking about nationality...I personally should feel ashamed of my nationality (or passport for that matter), but I see no reason why I can't marry 4 girls from 4 sides of this world? (well 3, coz South is already taken) :heated:

 

[NoName55]

go ahead and marry him without ur parents consent, most parents refuse to reason at times, cant they see its not always about them, its ur life and ur happiness in question. what does nationality have to do with being a good muslim. i think many muslims are hypocrites,talk abt one united ummah but are still racist and biased when it comes to ethnicit, nationality or whatever. i wonder wht ur parents wud have done if the man was a senegalese black man

hello

the original post may or may not be factual (as it includes trashing of 2 Muslims based on nothing much), then as usual you come with your pearls of wisdom trashing most of Muslims as if we don't have enough abuse already

 

[MadeenJibreel]

:laugh:Assalmu Alaykumm

Thank you brothers and sisters for taking the time to help me in my situation

Four years ago, i met a catholic man. He smoked and drank and slept around and was in a deep depression. After meeting me and seeing how much of a deep love i had for my religion, he (byhimself i never told him to) took Islamic classes. 5 months later, he converted to Islam. Right now, he does everything halaal, he prays and he even fasted Ramadan before he officially converted, and we plan on going to Hajj together after marriage INSHALLAH. My own father used to drink and smoke, and didnt pray when he was his age, he did not start praying since 10 yrs ago. My mother didnt wear a hijab until 3 years ago, and didnt start praying until a year ago. Although he was onyl muslim for 4 years, he is already a better muslim than both my parents are. His sister married a muslim man and converted and wears a hijab also. he is also very respectful and comes from a good family and he is also rich mashallah (i didnt know about his income when we met, he kept it a secret lol)
My parents wont accept him, only because he used to be a catholic. And also because we are palestinian and he is lebanese. I dont see these as valid reasons for regecting him, because i will never look at another man and will vow to chastisy if i dont marry him.
Is there anything i can do? Is there anyway to convince them? They obviously dont care what religion says, because in Islam a person’s religious-ness matters not what they were or what nationality. And they obviously care about what people will say (so-and-so’s daughter married a lebanese man who used to be catholic) than my happiness…..
PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!! I have had many sleepless nights, and crying myself to sleep, i dont know what to do…..

Jazzak Allah khaiir

sister, please go find an imaam and talk to him. This matter is a bit complicated but what really matters is that things are done the way Allahu ta'ala would be pleased. After all - if Allahu ta'ala gave you this man as your husband in your future, then that is definitely your future husband, if not, perhaps Allahu ta'ala will save your from evil, or him. An imaam will not be emotionally involved, only for the part of being sincere with Allah in trying to help you and at the same time trying not to hurt your parents' feelings. At the same time, imaam will represent someone who is responsible for his community (jamaah) as this matter might involve a legal verdict (fatwa) which in you should obey.

 

[nevesirth]

hello

the original post may or may not be factual (as it includes trashing of 2 Muslims based on nothing much), then as usual you come with your pears of wisdom trashing most of Muslims as if we don't have enough abuse already

if u choose to see it tht way, thts ur cup of tea. i only state the obvious facts while some prefer to ignore the truth because its bitter

 

[NoName55]

I figured that out later on just after (I complained), mashaAllah, I'm still not (that) old. :giggling:
Anyway, I can't stand if people talk like that bro in his reply to the OP. Back to the point: there are parents who think they know best, but seriously: how can a parent talk about someone's past having this as an argument to refuse to let her daughter get married to that man? And talking about nationality...I personally should feel ashamed of my nationality (or passport for that matter), but I see no reason why I can't marry 4 girls from 4 sides of this world? (well 3, coz South is already taken) :heated:

so you will be quite willing to let a girl from your houshold to come across a similar man and know him and spend four years then take on her parents in that man's favour?

how can you be sure that it is he who became Muslim and it is not vice versa?

key phrase: "I'll take vow of chastity"

research the phrase and think before posting all this nonsense

 

[Lina]

so you will be quite willing to let a girl from your houshold to come across a similar man and know him and spend four years then take on her parents in that man's favour?

how can you be sure that it is he who became Muslim and it is not vice versa?

key phrase: "I'll take vow of chastity"

research the phrase and think before posting all this nonsense

Are we now questioning the sister?

Come on, I think good points have been made, we can leave it at that. There's not much more to say.

 

[Woodrow]

Are we now questioning the sister?

Come on, I think good points have been made, we can leave it at that. There's not much more to say.

True, everything else is just going off topic. Enough has been said if all we are going to do is argue amongst ourselves.


:threadclo: