“Hey what’s going on with them?” Ahmed asked referring to the uncles. I glanced at them they were all running to a nearby window. A lot of people were watching what was going on out of it. I followed the others to the window.
“What’s going on?” I asked Khalid.
“They’re gona have a crash land.” He said worriedly.
“Why?”
“One of the wheels is stuck.” I watched as they sprayed foam on the runway to prevent a fire. A couple of firefighters had hoses in their hands ready to fight any fire. They cleared the runway and the plane slowed down for a landing. An old lady that was standing next to us started crying. A couple of other women consoled her. I heard the Uncles pray for a safe landing.
The plane landed with minus one wheel and it wobbled slightly but somehow it managed to come to a stop. Then a man went and got the wheel unstuck. We watched as the passengers come out with pale faces. We headed back to the gate where the passengers would meet there families. Many of them started crying. Why? I asked myself. They’re safe now, why do you need to be crying. Then I saw Yusuf Estes walk towards us, Sheikh Ahmed was right behind him. They exchanged hugs with everyone.
Everyone that is except me. I’m not really found of hugging other people so I stood in the background trying to be unnoticed but it didn’t work… Sheikh Yusuf walked towards me and handed out his hand. “Assalamu Alaykum” he said enthusiastically.
“Wa Alaykum Assalam” I answered and I did the same with Sheikh Ahmed. No hugs. Perfect.
We were soon waiting for the luggage to be unloaded. When everything was finished we hurried back to our cars. Sheikh Yusuf ended going with us. And Sheikh Ahmed went with Yusuf and them. Khalid spent the whole rest of the ride talking to the other Shiekhs.
“This is just great.” Sheikh Fiez sighed referring to the traffic.
“It isn’t too bad. I just hope we’re not late for Iftaar, but we have forty-five minutes. Inshallah we can make it.”
I sat in the window seat half listening half thinking. I was thinking when Sheikh Yusuf spoke to me. Khalid nudged me to get my attention.
“Did you hear what I said?” Shiekh Yusuf asked.
“Obviously not.” Khalid teased.
Shiekh Yusuf chuckled. “Seems like you like to daydream a lot.”
“He loves it.” Khalid said. I ignored him.
“You haven’t actually uttered one word since I came here, except Wa Alaykum Assalam.”
“You know Khalil, if there’s something wrong with you, you should talk about it to someone.” He continued. Come on. I’ve been lecturing someone bout that a couple of hours ago.
But I just said ‘I know.”
“So there’s nothing wrong with you?”
“Physically, no.” He didn’t ask me any more questions. He probably sensed that I totally didn’t feel like talking. Don’t ask me why? I find myself like that, especially if I get in a fight with someone, or if I argue with someone. Dad says that I’ve always been like this; I keep my feelings in me, whereas Khalid is more of a social type. Sometimes.
“Which one of you came p with the idea of the Halaqahs?” I heard Sheikh Yusuf ask.
“Khalil did.” Sheikh Muhammad answered for us.
“Yeah, you won’t believe how excited he was yesterday.” Khalid finished.
“So what happened today?”
I looked up. “What do you mean?”
“You don’t seem enthusiastic or anything.”
“It’s not that…” I held myself. God. Keeping a “secret” was so hard. If only I didn’t promise… wait I can’t say if. Arghh. I was getting a headache. Was it from this secret that was burdening me or was it from something else? I don’t know. I just wish I could… I don’t know escape? Scream? Shout? I just want some tranquility I I’m not gona get it if I have this stupid secret flashing in and off in my mind.
We finally got to the Masjid with twenty minutes to spare.
I went straight home without waiting for anyone. They were all busy talking anyway and my head hurt too much to join in.
I knocked on the door of our house and waited for someone to open. It was starting raining and I was getting wetter every second. Khawla opened the door then hurried back to the kitchen where she, Khadeejah, Mom, Khala Hala, and a couple of my aunts were cooking. I don’t know how they manage to work with so many people crowded around them. I wanted to avoid them but if you want to get to the family room you have to pass by the kitchen and of course they saw me.
It’s not that I don’t like my family but they tend to be annoying sometimes, specially my aunts. One of them Khala Rawdhah came up to me and pinched my cheek like I was still a young kid!
“Oh! You grow so fast I can hardly keep up with you Mashallah!” she exclaimed. I forced a smile and tried to go to the family room.
“Why are you running away Khalid?” Another one, Khala Hanan asked.
“I don’t think that’s Khalid, he would’ve been more cheerful. That’s definitely Khalil.” Yet another one, Khala Najah said. That ticked me of and I tried my best to not explode.
“On second thought I’m going to my room.” I said as I walked away from them.
“Khalil where’s your brother?” Mom asked.
“He’s at the Masjid with Ahmed.” I said turning around.
“Oh, that’s a good boy. He’s always at the Masjid. Why aren’t you there Khalil?” Khala Najah asked.
“Where do you think I came back from?” I retorted.
“Khalil! Don’t ever talk back to your elders! Do you hear me?” Khala Rawdhah scolded me. I glanced at mom expecting her to tell me to say “I’m sorry Khala. I’ll never talk back to again.” Like when I was younger but I was surprised to see her holding back from laughing.
“You should discipline these boys.” Khala Najah said to mom. Khawla snickered as I went pass her. I went upstairs and laid on my bed thinking. If I weren’t fasting I would’ve taken some aspirin or something. The pain in my head was killing me. I didn’t want o fall asleep otherwise I would sleep through Iftaar. I heard some feet marching up the steps. Great. Khalid and Ahmed were back.
They came into the room.
“Oh. Hello Khalil.” Ahmed said.
“You are the rudest person I have seen in my life.” Khalid said to me. I ignored him and turned my back to him.
“Come on get up. I don’t feel like talking to your back.”
“Would you just leave me alone. If I’m rude then that’s my problem not yours. Ok?” I said loosing my temper. I’ve had enough of people trying to set me straight. It’s my life why do they care? Khalid seemed surprised.
“Ok. Let it be your problem but cant you at least be nice a little bit?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Today when we were heading back from the airport, the way that you were acting if you ask me was mean. I mean you even left the Masjid without saying bye or anything…”
“What difference would it make. I come up to you guys and say bye. What would you benefit?” I said interrupting him.
“You don’t have to get mad Khalil, I’m just…”
“Ok I wont get mad as long as you just leave me alone!” I glanced at my watch five minutes. I went to the bathroom and washed my face to cool down. I don’t know why I’m getting this angry and it wasn’t helping my head, it’s just making it hurt more. I made wudu then I went downstairs to the dining room. Khalid and Ahmed were already there, so was dad and the rest of the people. The women took their plates and disappeared in the family room.
“Great. There gona go eat in there, make a mess on the floor, then expect us to clean up.” Khawla murmered. Mom took her plate and went to the family room also. We all prayed then we sat down. Dad, Ahmed, Khalid, me, Khawla, Khadeejah, Aisha, and Amu Rami were left at the table. I pecked at my food then I went to the kitchen and got one Tylenol pill. I went to the dining room and ate a little more. Then I went upstairs again.
I lay on my bed for what seemed like an hour. Until dad came in anyway. He closed the door behind him softly. He sat down on my bed and I sat up.
“Ok Khalil, I’ve known you since you were born ok? And I know when some things wrong with you. So I suggest you tell me what’s wrong right now before I find out myself.” He said in a tone that showed that he wasn’t kidding. And knowing dad I’m sure he would’ve went out and found out one way or another. But I had promised didn’t I? And I can’t break a promise. Right?
“Dad, I just had a head ache.”
“Yeah, today, but for the past two days you’ve been awfully quite. You’re not yourself. The Sheikh has realized it and so has Amu Jihad. You, Yusuf, and Yunus. So are you going to tell me what’s going on?” I felt a sharp pang in my stomach as if I was bitten by something. I wish I hadn’t gotten into this. But wishes don’t come true. Do they?
“Dad…I cant.” That’s all I said and I’m sure he’s not gona accept it. Dad’s patient and cool but you don’t wana mess with him when he’s angry. And right now he was fuming.
“What do you mean you can’t?” he asked.
“I can’t I promised I wouldn’t tell anyone.” I sighed and leaned my head on the bed post.
“Listen Khalil. What you’re concealing from us, is it bad.”
“What do you mean bad?”
“Bad as in is it something that could harm you guys, something dangerous.” I looked at his face he was calmer now. I considered blurting everything out again. And I would have if I didn’t stop myself.
“Yes.” That’s it. I thought. I’m over with, dad’s gona blow up. But he didn’t. He remained calm.
“Khalil, do you have anything to do with it? I mean what ever it is, are you seriously deep in it.”
“No dad.”
“I hope you’re telling me the truth.”
“Dad seriously. I didn’t do anything wrong.”
“You are right now.”
“What?!”
He nodded. “Come on now. Don’t you remember the Prophet’s Hadith when the prophet told us, he who sees something wrong should change it with his hand. If he cant then with his tongue, and if he cant then he should atlest know in his heart that the thing is wrong…”
“I did that dad. If I hadn’t…”I inturupted him.
“Wait Khalil I’m not finished with the Hadith. If you cant change it with your tongue then you should know in your heart thet it’s wrong. But the one that does that has the lowest of faith. Meaning he’s in the lowest rank of believers. Do you get it.”
“Yeah.”
“So what are you going to do about it?”
“Dad, I don’t know. There isn’t much that I can do. I spoke to both of them Yunus refused and Yusuf, well he’s afraid that they’ll get in trouble.”
“Khalil, let me ask you something. Which one in your eyes do you think is worse. I mean right now. Which one would be worse, breaking your promise, or keeping quite about it?”
I pondered over that a bit. If I break my promise, Yusuf wouldn’t trust me anymore, but maybe it might help them if I told dad or someone. Maybe they can help them get out of their problem. But if I kept quite about it, then Yunus might get worse, Amin and them might do something dangerous that could effect everyone. Should I tell? I decided I will. Even if Yusuf never talks to me again. Even if we get into trouble. Even if dad gets mad.
“So?” dad said waiting for an answer. “Which one is worse?”
“Keeping quite.” I said quietly.
“So are you going to tell me?” I nodded hesitantly.
“You know Khalil, even if you tell me, It’s not like I’m gona go around telling the whole world that my son told me this and that. I promise you I’ll try my best to keep your name out. Ok?”
I nodded feeling a bit assured. I glanced at my watch three minutes till the Halaqah. Just then Khalid and Ahmed opened the door. “Are you going to the Halaqah tonight?” Khalid asked me.
I glanced at dad and shook my head. Khalid seemed surprised.
“Well…ok then. Cya.” He said as they both left.
Dad sat down in a more comfortable position.
“I’m all ears.” He joked. I smiled and told him the whole story. Everything. I didn’t leave anything out even about Mr. Hussein getting drugged. And surprisingly dad didn’t get mad like I thought. He sat for a long time tugging at his beard which he normally did when he was thinking hard.
“Well?” I asked.
“Hmm. This is serious Khalil.” Dad said staring at me.
I sighed. “I should’ve just kept quite.” I murmured to myself.
“Why? You think I’m gona get mad?”
“You’re not?”
“Well. Of course I am disappointed that you and Yusuf didn’t come to me or Amu Jihad or even one of the Sheikhs. Khalil we’re not here to get mad and punish. I’m here to help you and guide you. Ok?” I nodded.
“One more thing. How about trying to avoid Yusuf and Yunus till we get this settled.” He said.
“Avoid them? But…”
“Believe me Khalil this is for your own good.” I just nodded. That was going to be hard. Yusuf was everywhere I went.
Dad glanced at his watch.
“If we hurry. We can make it in time for Isha.” He said and after three minutes we were in the car heading towards the Masjid.
“Dad?” I asked when we got there.
“Yeah?” he said turning towards me.
“Can you not tell anyone that I told you please?”
“Of course. You can count on that.” He said.
I was happy to see that I didn’t miss the whole Halaqah but I only got to here the last five or four minutes. I sat down next to Zaki remembering dad’s advice about avoiding Yusuf. Dad sat down next to me. I guess he’s going to be keeping an eye on me. I don’t blame him. And I didn’t get mad. Probably it’s because I knew what I got my self into wasn’t a small thing. Drugs? I hope my mom doesn’t hear bout this.
“I forgot to ask you something. Does your brother know about this?” dad whispered in my ear.
“Kind of. A little bit.” I whispered back. For some reason I didn’t want to get Khalid involved.
I was half listening to the lecture which Sheikh Muhammad was giving. He was talking a little on Abu Bakr’s life story. But I missed most of it. Atleast my head ache went away. And the burden that was on my chest was gone now. I kind of felt a bit more…happier.
When the Halaqah was done I tried getting up but dad pulled me back down.
“Sorry Khalil. But I don’t want you anywhere with out my supervision.” He said softly.
I sat back down and leaned against the wall.
“Don’t get mad Khalil. It’s like I said. It’s for your own good.” He repeated.
“I know dad. I’m not mad. I totally understand why you’re supervising me but cant I atleast go appoligize to Shiekh Yusuf.”
“What did you do?”
“Umm…nothing but…I think I was kind of impolite to him today.”
“What did you do?” Dad was always about good manners. And he totally doesn’t allow us to be rude to someone older then us.
“Nothing I just didn’t talk because I was mad.” I said looking away.
“Ok but come back. Ok?”
“Sure.” I said as I got up and went to the library. Sheikh Yusuf was there alone reading. He placed his book down when he saw me.
“Hello.” He said cheerfully.
“Hi Sheikh.” I answered.
“Ok you’re going to have to tell me if you’re Khalil or Khalid.” He joked. I chuckled.
“I’m Khalil.”
“How am I suppose to tell you two apart?” he laughed.
“Khalid has a scar near his eye.”
“Oh. Ok. Did you need anything. Or are you just looking for a book. I must say this is a really good library.”
“Actually Sheikh, I wanted to apologize to you.” I said feeling my face go hot. I admit it I’m not use to apologizing.
“Oh…what for?” he asked confused.
“For today when we were picking you up. I wasn’t really nice.”
He waved his hand to show it was nothing. “Aw just forget about that. I sensed you had something on your mind. I was once a teen you know. And I know how you guys feel sometimes. Don’t worry bout it.”
“Thanks.”
“It’s no problem. Now if you’ll excuse me I’ll carry on with my reading.” I went back to the Musallah and collided with Yusuf on my way. Great! How am I suppose to avoid him when he keeps popping up from nowhere.
“Hey, I’m glad I found you. How come you were late. Your brother was on time.” I shrugged.
“Is something wrong?” he asked.
“No. I had something I had to do.” I said mater of factly.
“Ok…are you sure?”
“Yeah. I have to get back to my dad.” I said walking past him.
I sat down next to dad.
“I thought I told you to avoid him.” He teased.
“Dad. He’s everywhere.” I said hoping for sympathy.
He ignored me. “What did Sheikh Yusuf say?”
“He said not to worry bout it.”
“Ok… but I don’t want you doing that again ok?”
“Sure.” I said leaning my head against the wall. I closed my eyes.
“Assalamu Alaykum” I heard someone say. I opened my eyes.
Amu Salman was standing in front of us.
“Wa Alaykum Assalam” we both answered.
He sat down next to us. “This your son?” he asked dad.
“Yeah, this is Khalil.” Dad answered.
“Why you no outside with your brother and friend?” he asked me.
I shrugged.
“He’s staying here with me tonight.” Dad said looking at me.
“How’s your headache by the way?” dad asked me.
“It’s ok.” I answered.
“Your head hurt you?” Amu Salman asked.
“Not anymore.”
“Say Alhadmulillah. You complain from head ache. Some people suffer greatly. People get shot, people get sick, but some they no complain. They keep quite and have patience. Patience is key to success you know?” he said.
Dad nodded. Then they started along conversation patience.
If I hadn’t told dad about the drugs I would have been outside with my friends right now. After a while Amu Salman left. He said he had something else he had to do.
“He’s not that bad is he?” dad asked. I kept quite.
After a while someone called the Adhan. Everyone repeated after it quietly. Then we prayed the Isha and Taraweeh. We were about to get up to leave when Shiekh Muhammad came up to us.
“Assalamu Alaykum.” He said. We answered his greeting.
“I’m surprised to see that you’re not with your friends Khalil.” He said. I just shrugged.
“I’m going to go to the bathroom. Wait for me here Khalil.” Dad said as he headed towards the bathrooms.
“You seem more cheerful then you were today.” The Shiekh said as he sat down in front of me.
“Yeah.” I said watching the other people leave the Musallah one by one.
“Did you like the lecture tonight?” he asked.
I turned back to him. “Well I kind of missed the first part.”
“Yeah I noticed. Where were you?”
“You can say I had a meeting.” I joked.
He chuckled. “With your dad?” I nodded.
“Shiekh Ahmed is holding the Halaqah tomorrow.” He said getting up. “I should be on my way. I’ll see you tomorrow Inshallah.” He said going outside. I saw dad coming so I got up.
“Let’s go.” He said putting his shoes on.
I followed him outside. Khalid, Ahmed, and Yusuf were talking together. Amu Jihad and Amu Rami were with them. Dad walked over to them and I followed slowly.
“Hello Ali.” Amu Rami greeted my dad. “I wanted to take the boys out for Ice Cream before I left.” He said.
“Right now? In this weather?” dad asked doubtfully.
“Sure. I promised them remember?”
“Well…ok if they want.”
“How bout it boys? Do you guys want to go?”
“Yeah!” Ahmed and Khalid exclaimed.
“How bout you Khalil?” Amu asked.
“Ok.” I said.
“You can come along too, Yusuf.” Amu invited him. I saw Dad get tense but he didn’t say anything.
“Ok, we’ll tag along but we’ll take our car and follow you guys” Amu Jihad said. Dad looked a bit happier when he said that. So we piled into Amu Rami’s van. We went to the ice cream shop and everyone got something. After that we went home and everyone fell asleep.
We got up to go to school in the morning.
I was headed towards the bathroom when mom stopped me.
“You can go back to sleep Khalil. Your dad said you’re not going to school today.” She said.
“What?” I asked surprised. Just then dad came out of his room.
“Sorry champ. I’m not letting you get out of my sight.” He said as he headed downstairs.
“What?” I asked again. “Dad, it’s like I’m under house arrest or something.”
“Sorry, but you’re not going.” He said quietly. Knowing that he wouldn’t change his mind I went back to my room. Half of me was angry but I was kind of relieved, but I knew it would be really boring today. I went back to my bed. Khalid was getting ready to leave.
“Why are you going back to sleep?” he asked.
“I’m not going to school.” I answered.
“Why not?”
“I don’t know. But dad said I’m not.”
He shrugged and went downstairs. Later that day I went with dad to the Dhuhr prayer. After that we took Ahmed’s parents to the airport.
“Good bye!” Amu waved.
“Bye.” We answered. Then we drove back home.
“Khalil you do know why I didn’t let you go to school right?” dad asked me later when we got home. Mom had gone shopping and we were the only ones home.
“Yeah dad I know.” I said gluing my eyes to the TV.
“It might hurt you, and you might feel like I’m being to strict on you, but it really hurts me more then it hurts you. I don’t like to see any of you guys sad or angry with me but right now I couldn’t think of any other solution.”
I didn’t answer. I acted to be really interested on the TV.
I got bored of watching TV so I went upstairs and got on my laptop.
I got a new message from Yusuf. It was short.
Hey man. Why aren’t you in school? Khalid’s here but you aren’t??
And how come you came late last night? And how come u’r ignoring me??
How am I suppose to answer that? I didn’t. I logged off and played a couple of games then I surfed the web until it was time for Asr.
“Khalil let’s go!” dad called from downstairs.