Need a little advice.

[Italianguy]

Hi Italianguy.


I'm going to be blunt with you.


What Zainab is doing is not the right thing, infact she shouldn't even get involved with you or joke about with you, or even talk to you - except in case of necessity. You yourself should know that the Messengers' of God called against such practises simply because anything which leads to temptation is also forbidden.

Weren't you innocent enough to hear their statements of flirting? Isn't it quite obvious that if other women have 'made moves on you' - that you should be avoiding contact with any encounters like this, or anything which will lead to this?



So my advice to you is to obey the commands of modesty that the Messengers' of God commanded. This is in obedience to God, and if you love your wife, out of love for her. This should be your top priority. This will ensure that your relationship with your wife is pure and secure.

She is going to be scared all the time that another girl may approach you - she even suspected Zainab - so she's going to always have doubts. Your job then will be to avoid talking to Zainab, to even avoid looking at her. If she was to ask why, you tell her that it is part of her religion [Islam] to be modest and avoid you, and secondly because you are wanting to be obedient to God, and to show sincerety to your wife through action.


Would you like your wife to be in a separate room with a guy who flirted with her? No? Then your wife's crying is a sign that she didn't handle it well, and that she fears to lose you. You need to prove your sincerety to her through action, and following your own religion.


This is advice and not an attack, I hope you benefit from it.





Peace.

I wouldn't ever take a reply as an attack.lol I do appreciate your response and the fact that you feel so strongly about it.

I may have minsed words, she never really suspected Zainab, when i told her it was her first thought, only because i was nervous and mixed up my wording when I told her. Heck.....Zainab is married to a doctor, she wouldn't mess that up;D

When she is around I am usually gone or in another room, most words that we talk to each other is "Hello" and "how are you". Not much more than that...I'm a guy, I don't talk much anyway;D just kinda grunt and shake my hands,...we Italians speak with hand motions....no one can understand me anyway;D

I don't think my wife thinks she will lose me...as far as she tells me. You have to understand she is extremelly dependant on me in every way, wether emmotionally , financially, and just guiding her through general comman sense stuff I love it, but sometimes is too much. She is very sensative and gets scared of anything really quick. She is very small, 5'2" and i think now only 97 pounds...and she tells me it has something to do with that? Maybe insecure? She tells me she feels ok around only me!:statisfie That I make her feel secure and protected:statisfie

It's just that for once she has a friend she can open up to and not lock herself in this big house all day by herself, she never goes anywhere with out me, she thinks all of "Amreeka" hates Indians??

I don't know? I will take your advice though. Actually Zainab said something like this to my wife when they were talking...I havent sen her since, but I know she is comming over to bring my wife to Her house tomorrow.

And by the way....NO MAN gets near my wife! Unless it's my family. Heck...she runs back to me anytime she sees another man getting to close to her anyway, grabs my arm, and wont let me go;D I try to get her to loosen up a little...but...not to much. People think she's my daughter anyway or younger sister? Although she's pretty dark brown;D

Again, Thanks for the advise and reponse, I appreciate it!

God be with you bro!

 

[sister herb]

Final bit of advice (if you dont mind me being TOO nosy again ;D).
Do something sweet for your wife. Buy her some flowers or so and say: "You are the only woman for me or so". Maybe that will take care of her being scared to loose you. Plus it gets you extra bonuspoints!

You have a sweet wife btw alhamdoellilah!

Maybe you should borrow to your wife and Zainab your "rikshaw" again. ;D But of course ask them use it some open field where isn´t walls or trees or big stones...

hew This just in case.

 

[Italianguy]

This is why Islam teaches us to avoid free mixing. There is always a third person and that's none other then the devil himself (Shaytan)

Anyway, Glad you got everything sorted Italianguy, You truly are a sincere guy

Yeah it got sorted...better than I thought it would. Just so I make myself clear, there is usually always more than just us three there, usually about 4 to 8 people. Plus why would I hang around?.....It's 8 women lauhing and giggling all day;D I go somewhere else, plus now is spring! They can drink chai....I will be out on the Gulf or in the middle of the Atlantic catching Blue Marlin and Sharks

Thanks, I try to be:statisfie I am about as sincere as I can be....but I like a little humor as you can tell;D

God be with you.

 

[Italianguy]

Maybe you should borrow to your wife and Zainab your "rikshaw" again. ;D But of course ask them use it some open field where isn´t walls or trees or big stones...

hew This just in case.

They are banned from it for a week!!!!! At least!

Those 2 tried to take it out whilst I was working last week and my wife started it and didn't put it in reverse....she hit the wall with it!:raging: And now I have to fix the drywall^o) At least they werent hurt and the "Rikshaw" is ok.hew

They didn't even tell me! My wife said thats were i parked it last^o) ....and they ran off giggling. I may as well just let them have it, their like 2 little kids and are just going to tear it up anyway:hmm:

 

[sister herb]

Ooops sorry I didn´t know. Maybe flowers are then better like sister ηαѕιнα wrote...

mg:

 

[Italianguy]

Ooops sorry I didn´t know. Maybe flowers are then better like sister ηαѕιнα wrote...

mg:

I get her flowers all he time:embarrass

 

[★ηαѕιнα★]

Whats a rikshaw? You people talk in some secretlanguage or so. ;D

I don't think my wife thinks she will lose me...as far as she tells me. You have to understand she is extremelly dependant on me in every way, wether emmotionally , financially, and just guiding her through general comman sense stuff I love it, but sometimes is too much. She is very sensative and gets scared of anything really quick. She is very small, 5'2" and i think now only 97 pounds...and she tells me it has something to do with that? Maybe insecure? She tells me she feels ok around only me!:statisfie That I make her feel secure and protected:statisfie
And by the way....NO MAN gets near my wife! Unless it's my family. Heck...she runs back to me anytime she sees another man getting to close to her anyway, grabs my arm, and wont let me go;D I try to get her to loosen up a little...but...not to much. People think she's my daughter anyway or younger sister? Although she's pretty dark brown;D

Have a few more things to say (like i could ever shut up ;D)
You are the steady rock in her world and she is for you. Theres nothing wrong with that. Thats how it should be within a marriage.
And being smaller can give you the idea you cant defend yourself and you would be less safe because of that. When you think about it, it actually makes sense. When your big you have the idea you own the world and can handle everything on your path. But being smaller and thin gives you the opposite idea. So then you will have to need a big tall (preferebly italian) guy ;D to make you feel protected, like she says. And besides thats a common thing for women. They want a man to protect them and keep them safe. Us women dont have a lot of strenght. Just think about the cavepeople ;D Man fight and bring home the food. And the women cook it and give it to the man. Same concept only more modern in this world. Im not implying you are a caveman or so. Dont go thinking that. ;D

 

[Asiyah3]

"Why don't you revert to Isalm so you can take me as a wife as well?"

That's very ignoble, lowly and disrespectful... no haya at all.

I'm glad you sorted it out I-guy

 

[S<Chowdhury]

Whats a rikshaw? You people talk in some secretlanguage or so. ;D

Form of transportation mainly found in Asia countries:

You have the man powered rickshaw :

And then the CNG/Auto Rickshaw/Baby Taxi which ususally powered by a motorcycle engine:

 

[★ηαѕιнα★]

OK thanx. Know them only from TV and Indianmovies.
The first one looks very unsafe btw. Especially with an old man being the driver.
What if he gets a heartattack or so? Alhamdoellilah.

 

[sister herb]

I think that rikshaw of I-guy is more like "Cadillac style"- one.

But this is going off topic. Sorry. mg:

 

[Italianguy]

Whats a rikshaw? You people talk in some secretlanguage or so. ;D



Have a few more things to say (like i could ever shut up ;D)
You are the steady rock in her world and she is for you. Theres nothing wrong with that. Thats how it should be within a marriage.
And being smaller can give you the idea you cant defend yourself and you would be less safe because of that. When you think about it, it actually makes sense. When your big you have the idea you own the world and can handle everything on your path. But being smaller and thin gives you the opposite idea. So then you will have to need a big tall (preferebly italian) guy ;D to make you feel protected, like she says. And besides thats a common thing for women. They want a man to protect them and keep them safe. Us women dont have a lot of strenght. Just think about the cavepeople ;D Man fight and bring home the food. And the women cook it and give it to the man. Same concept only more modern in this world. Im not implying you are a caveman or so. Dont go thinking that. ;D

LOL, Cave man....Me Italianguy...she little woman...Me take her to my cave...little woman make good samosas...Me keep her;D

 

[Italianguy]

Form of transportation mainly found in Asia countries:

You have the man powered rickshaw :

And then the CNG/Auto Rickshaw/Baby Taxi which ususally powered by a motorcycle engine:

LOL, you got it bro. My wife calls them "Autos" ;D...then again...she calls my lexus a rikshaw too^o)

 

[Italianguy]

OK thanx. Know them only from TV and Indianmovies.
The first one looks very unsafe btw. Especially with an old man being the driver.
What if he gets a heartattack or so? Alhamdoellilah.

You wouldn't believe how physically fit those old men are! It's amazing. I bet that 60 something year old man could out pace me anyday...and I do allot of cardio:exhausted. It's their job though. If you don't use him, he nor his family are going to eatimsad

 

[Italianguy]

I think that rikshaw of I-guy is more like "Cadillac style"- one.

But this is going off topic. Sorry. mg:

Your right. It's a golf cart made to look like a Cadillac Escalade. I don't golf, i bought it for my wife to drive to my mothers house or just around the neighborhood. She has named it the "rikshaw" or "auto" pronounced "aww-toa";D

Here is a pic of one very similar to mine. I would post a pic of mine but either me, my wife or Zainab are in the pics..sorry

http://www.bet.com/Assets/BET/Publi...cd6-822b72f85676-life_fb_hgg_CadillacGolf.jpg

 

[Ummu Sufyaan]

this threads got waaaay too much intermingling.

 

[Italianguy]

this threads got waaaay too much intermingling.

Okay sorry. I will stick to topic.imsad Actually, the mods can probably close it now. Or it will die off anyway. I appreciate everyones help and advice!

God be with you.