Need help....

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unknown12

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Salams everybody, this muslim girl and I have been close friends over the internet. However, i recently discovered that relationships with a non-mahram is haram. We are very close, how would I end this relationship? Marriage is not an option at the moment. Please I need urgent help, this is really worrying me and I don't know what to do. I have tried explaining this to her, and she took it wrong and blamed herself, and I felt very bad... Please in desperate need of help; will add more information if needed.

Jazakallah
 
:sl:
there is easy way to end this relation. just close ur account/email whatever u used to talk her. Blv me u may feel it bit harsh but i want to save u from big trouble which u definitely have to see at the end of the day if u are not married to her.
in Islam there is no other way u can be friend to non-mehram girl other than marriage. if u cant marry her just finish it bcz if u don't do it today, u have to do it tomorrow and it will more painful then.
 
Last edited:
tigerkhan said:
:sl:
there is easy way to end this relation. just close ur account/email whatever u used to talk her. Blv me u may feel it bit harsh but i want to save u from big trouble which u definitely have to see at the end of the day if u are not married to her.
in Islam there is no other way u can be friend to non-mehram girl other than marriage. if u cant marry her just finish it bcz if u don't do it today, u have to do it tomorrow and it will more painful then.
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Salams bro,

How about this, like I don't want this to sound like I'm making excuses for myself not to stop talking to her, but what if it's just a friendship? You said "in Islam there is no other way u can be friend to non-mehram girl other than marriage" but what about my other female muslim friends from school? We just talk as friends and nothing more. I am finding it extremely difficult to cut off contact with her, and have tried to do this by reducing the amount we talk. I just wish I could not have gotten into this predicament because my intention was never to get up to this stuff. I met her randomly on a site which helps students with their secondary studies, and that's how we became friends... As much as I don't want to do haram, I find myself not strong enough to end this relationship once and for all...

Please I need more help D:
 
:sl:

bro , don't let salan to misguide u and finds u excuses to keep up the haram relationship .

Do what the bro suggessted and ask Allah to help u to stay away from illegal relatioship .
 
Brother you are the one whom Allah choose to guide you and bring you to us. We wants you to repent and come to Him. Believe us if you have the intention of submitting yourself complating to Allah you will definitely be rewarded for your controlling yourself. Please just stop talking to her as bro tigerkhan said and pray more and engage yourself in ibadah keep yourself busy in any way it's not important that it should be islamic anything productive.

If you feel temptation afterwards we are here to guide you Allah's book is there to help you

."And never let Satan avert you. Indeed, he is to you a clear enemy"
[Surat Az Zukhruf 43:62]

Except for those who repent, believe and do righteous work. For them Allah will replace their evil deeds with good. And ever is Allah Forgiving and Merciful.
(25:70)

"And strive for Allah with the striving due to Him"
[Surat Al Haj 22:78]

And whoever submits his face to Allah while he is a doer of good - then he has grasped the most trustworthy handhold. And to Allah will be the outcome of [all] matters.
(Surah Luqman 31:22)
 
you say you care about this girl?

Every second you speak to her you distance her from Allaah.

Every time your intouch with her you distance her from Allaah?



you care for her right?
 
IbnAbdulHakim said:
you say you care about this girl?

Every second you speak to her you distance her from Allaah.

Every time your intouch with her you distance her from Allaah?



you care for her right?
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Salams Muslim Woman and Innocent Soul,

I understand what you both are saying. I will inshallah try and end this relationship soon. However following tigerkhans advice, I contact her via email and txting, in terms of my email its my main email I use for most things, so I just can't delete that or change the password and forget about the email. In terms of my phone, it would be too much of a hassle changing my number etc...

How do I explain it to this sister? I don't want to just vanish into thin air without explaining anything. No joke, but I'll explain what actually crossed my mind like 2 months ago. Anyway I met this sister on student room (uk) and she helped me with my studies, now school is over for me, I planned like 1 month ago to just delete my account and end all contact. Ofcourse, I found the urge to tell her that I was going to do this, and she never took it well... So my question is how do I end this??

I was thinking of doing this, maybe sending her a link to some site explaining about relationships between males and females, however i would prefer explaining it myself to her. So I was thinking of saying that "I hope you will be understanding of what I am about to say... look sister, how would you define our relationship? just friends? I think its a bit more than friends, and like we spoke about before girlfriends/boyfriend relationships are haram, and your and my parents wouldn't be happy about this. I recently discovered that whatever is happening between us is haram and I think it would be for the best if we did what's islamically correct, even though what we chat about isn't anything bad I don't think, I hope you understand my point of view"

Jazakallah, looking forward to a reply.
 
unknown12 said:
Salams bro,

How about this, like I don't want this to sound like I'm making excuses for myself not to stop talking to her, but what if it's just a friendship? You said "in Islam there is no other way u can be friend to non-mehram girl other than marriage" but what about my other female muslim friends from school? We just talk as friends and nothing more. I am finding it extremely difficult to cut off contact with her, and have tried to do this by reducing the amount we talk. I just wish I could not have gotten into this predicament because my intention was never to get up to this stuff. I met her randomly on a site which helps students with their secondary studies, and that's how we became friends... As much as I don't want to do haram, I find myself not strong enough to end this relationship once and for all...

Please I need more help D:
Click to expand...
bro see there is a difference btw her and ur other Muslim friends at school. u can easily end up with them but with her u r stuck. Allah SWT want us to be save from fitna. that y He Oder hijab, lowering gaze, and no free talking/mixing. so the more u talk to her u more u get involved in fitna and blv me u came to know its pain when u lost her either by ur marriage or her marriage. and at that time u wish that u never had meet her. so its the time to save urself otherwise it will ruin ur dunia and akhraa. anyway choice is ur..best of luck.
 
Why is marriage not an option for you? I don't mean to pry but you obviously feel for her and she does for you - so go ask for her hand in marriage and then consummate your marriage when you're able to!
 
Asalaamu Alaikum,

One way or another, you need to either get married or refrain from your current situation (which is haraam). It may be difficult, due to feelings, emotions etc. But, sacrifice something for Allah(swt) and he will replace it with something better, not just for you, but for her as well.

Also watch this, it's a really good short lecture;

 
شَادِنُ;1560303 said:
Why is marriage not an option for you? I don't mean to pry but you obviously feel for her and she does for you - so go ask for her hand in marriage and then consummate your marriage when you're able to!
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Salams شَادِنُ,

I'm sure you have heard this many times, but I would like to wait till after my university studies and when I finally get a job, then I can seek marriage. The same applies for the sister who has said the same thing for herself. I understand your point sister, but my family are in no position to have me make such a decision as this. Things are not very stable atm, financially and I still feel I am not ready, even though what you mean is get married and still continue to live with my parents, and she continues to live with her parents? I don't think I could make a long term commitment at this stage in my life, in 3 years or when I feel settled then I will.
 
tigerkhan said:

bro see there is a difference btw her and ur other Muslim friends at school. u can easily end up with them but with her u r stuck. Allah SWT want us to be save from fitna. that y He Oder hijab, lowering gaze, and no free talking/mixing. so the more u talk to her u more u get involved in fitna and blv me u came to know its pain when u lost her either by ur marriage or her marriage. and at that time u wish that u never had meet her. so its the time to save urself otherwise it will ruin ur dunia and akhraa. anyway choice is ur..best of luck.
Click to expand...

I understand, I am making an effort to tell her that we have to end this inshallah. Everytime I try to, something else comes up, for example she is unable to communicate atm, so will wait when she can and then tell her.

Yes I too have heard stories, I wouldn't want the same happening to me. Will keep you updated with whatever happens...
 
^ Salam bro. I think you know what's the right thing to do. You don't need extra advices.

But if things are very knotty and difficult for you atm, and you can't find your way out, just ask Allah to give you help and guidance and to bring you to His path.

I ask Allah to help you brother and every muslim who's going through this fitna.
May Allah assist you in this problem and provide you the right circumstances to help you do the right thing that pleases Him and makes you a better muslim. Ameen.
 
i would strongly advise against marrying this girl if it disappoints both parents or causes them any hardship.



would remove all blessing
 
marwen said:
^ Salam bro. I think you know what's the right thing to do. You don't need extra advices.

But if things are very knotty and difficult for you atm, and you can't find your way out, just ask Allah to give you help and guidance and to bring you to His path.

I ask Allah to help you brother and every muslim who's going through this fitna.
May Allah assist you in this problem and provide you the right circumstances to help you do the right thing that pleases Him and makes you a better muslim. Ameen.
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Yeah, as sentimental as this sounds, I just listened to a nasheed: Make Me Strong by Sami Yusuf, it kind of convinced me that I should end this and will inshallah. Hope everything goes ok :/
 
Is there any way I can PM you what I am about to send to her? At Innocent Soul and AT marwen. I am not a full member and am 40 posts away from 50... ;/
 
^ I think you have no option but to post it here. I don't think that you can even reply and when full member PMs you.
 
Innocent Soul said:
^ I think you have no option but to post it here. I don't think that you can even reply and when full member PMs you.
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Oh... I would prefer it to be private, guess I won't be able to post it now :l

How do you become a full member btw?
 
Bribe away Administrators........you will be promoted straight to Board Leader:D

You Need to make 50 posts in order to become full member
 

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