need help

[anonymous]

A few things I need your advice with.
My sister: I dont get along with her. I never really have. I have a deficiancy in my love and respect towards her, comapred to my other siblings. She frustrates me. She gets my mum to tell me to do things, and she makes me look bad, and exaggerates something more than it is. She’s insulting. She’s a control freak. She’s authoritive and I can’t stand people like that. im oh so close to physically hurting her. Just what she sometimes implications can be insulting. She’ll say something but mean another. If one of my other siblings jokes to me about me, she’ll exaggerate her laugh.

Ever felt like people do/say things in spite of you. Ever felt that someone just thinks they’re ‘it.’



Ever had a strong dislike towards someone in your heart and don’t know why, even though they havn’t done anything to you. Ever felt that you have the utmost love and respect towards someone you have never met. Ever felt that someone says things to make themselves sound better, and degrade others at the same time.


Getting up for fajr. Not with the getting up part. But with the going to bed earlier. Sometimes I have abit of difficulty with this, and I don’t know what to do.

Sometimes I lack motivation and feel really laxzy. Its not the type of laziness where youre too lazy to get up and make your bed, for eg its more like you feel completely tunred off from the inside from not doing that particular thing at all, even though its really important. Its like somethings inside me feels switched off sometimes.


Another of my issues: I feel really bad when I receive gifts, escepcially when people give me things I don’t need. as if a bad thing has happened because i feel as if the rewards are given to me in this life. Sometimes I avoid being ‘luxirious’ because of this. It really get me down.
And, erm…that’s it. :hiding:

 

[tigersabre]

1. Siblings - Be patient with her, and return her meanness with kindness. People will take notice and start chastising her for it.

2. Yup, all that has happened. It's normal.

3. Getting to bed early is my problem too. Alhamdulillilaah, I have a spouse that sleeps early and wakes me up. I'd say, set up 3 alarms.

4. Getting gifts is ok - how you use them is something else. Think of a way you can use your gift for the sake of Allah subhaana wa ta'aala. If you can't think of anything, then be content that at least you had the intent and perhaps you'll be rewarded for that intent, insha'Allah. And enjoy the gift!

 

[transition?]

We have almost the same problems :-[

 

[Kittygyal]

Assalamualikum.

Dua'ah best thing ever!.. patience..

May Allaah guide us all Amin

Ma'assalama

 

[transition?]

1. I have problems getting along with my sister. After these years of long conflict, we ALWAYS feel as though the other one doesn't have a good intention and is purely evil. Every time we talk it's as if we look for insults. Any criticism, we end up calling each other out as hypocrites.

~Say: I seek refuge from the accursed Devil.
to make sure you DON'T react in a negative way/get mad or irrational.
~Pause , breathe and just re-examine the situation. Just because your sister is being a brat at the moment doesn't mean that you should get annoyed so easily. People sometimes (ERRGh) want to test your patience. And you know what, Show them you have patience and on top of that, be kind too.
If she gets you to do work, don't get mad. You'll get good deeds for that work.
try to make the best of every situation without accumulating any bad deeds
~ And when she isn't bothering you, pray for her, that she gets a better attitude and learns. People continue to learn until the day they die. :statisfie
~The best that can from doing all this is that you set an example for your sister.

 

[transition?]

2. Getting up early isn't easy. So find your weaknesses in getting up. And make sure you make it as easy as possible to get up. Keeping on working out new plans until you get it right. Some people I know can sleep at midnight and wake up at 5 in the morning. MashAllah they have an alarm in their hearts.
But if you are missing faith to actually pray, then use those other 4 prayers to get you that faith


and remember:

This is because Allah has never changed a favor which He has conferred upon a people until they change their own condition; and because Allah is Hearing, Knowing; (The Spoils Of War 8 : 53)