Needed some advice for this newly converted brother in marriage

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:sl:

markislam said:
They all treat me as a very good christian, my in laws always boast about me being a great christian to others, little do they know of what i am now :)

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Why not invite them to watch the debate between Dr . Zakir and Campbell or debates/ lectures like this ? They will listen to both sides , will learn many things about both Islam and their own religion .

Without telling them about ur conversion , u will be able to give them an idea about Islam .


www.youtube.com/watch?v=PcKZnmBnQVE -

Similarities between Islam and Christianity
Was Jesus really crucified?
Why the West is Coming to Islam?
Women Rights in Islam


FAQs
Remove Misconceptions About Islam:
Common Questions
Intellectual Questions
Specially from Christians


http://www.ilovezakirnaik.com/
 
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Asslamu Alikum

I think it would be wise to have a third party get involved. Like a mediator or a counsellor.
 
Muslim Woman said:
:wa:




Well , it's allowed in Islam for a Muslim man to marry a Jewish or Christan lady ; but kids must be raised as Muslims.
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You are wrong , Koran is clear if the christian or jewish she doesnt become muslim is not allowed to marry her , i will show you the proof from the koran inshallah
 
touba said:
You are wrong , Koran is clear if the christian or jewish she doesnt become muslim is not allowed to marry her , i will show you the proof from the koran inshallah
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salaam

No your wrong Muslim men can marry people of the book - but the women has to be chaste - thats well known.

peace
 
markislam said:
Where is the proof ? I would like to see.
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Let us look at Noble Verse 2:221 "Do not marry unbelieving women (idolaters), until they believe: A slave woman who believes is better than an unbelieving woman, even though she allures you. Nor marry (your girls) to unbelievers until they believe: A man slave who believes is better than an unbeliever, even though he allures you. Unbelievers do (but) beckon you to the Fire. But God beckons by His Grace to the Garden (of bliss) and forgiveness, and makes His Signs clear to mankind: That they may celebrate His praise."
 
Zafran said:
salaam

No your wrong Muslim men can marry people of the book - but the women has to be chaste - thats well known.

peace
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Let us look at Noble Verse 2:221 "Do not marry unbelieving women (idolaters), until they believe: A slave woman who believes is better than an unbelieving woman, even though she allures you. Nor marry (your girls) to unbelievers until they believe: A man slave who believes is better than an unbeliever, even though he allures you. Unbelievers do (but) beckon you to the Fire. But God beckons by His Grace to the Garden (of bliss) and forgiveness, and makes His Signs clear to mankind: That they may celebrate His praise."
 
touba said:
Let us look at Noble Verse 2:221 "Do not marry unbelieving women (idolaters), until they believe: A slave woman who believes is better than an unbelieving woman, even though she allures you. Nor marry (your girls) to unbelievers until they believe: A man slave who believes is better than an unbeliever, even though he allures you. Unbelievers do (but) beckon you to the Fire. But God beckons by His Grace to the Garden (of bliss) and forgiveness, and makes His Signs clear to mankind: That they may celebrate His praise."
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Not good enough - dont pick and choose - read surat 5 - verse 5 to 6. Read a serious fatwa on this by a serious scholar who knows Fiqh and the Quran well.

005.005
YUSUFALI: This day are (all) things good and pure made lawful unto you. The food of the People of the Book is lawful unto you and yours is lawful unto them. (Lawful unto you in marriage) are (not only) chaste women who are believers, but chaste women among the People of the Book, revealed before your time,- when ye give them their due dowers, and desire chastity, not lewdness, nor secret intrigues if any one rejects faith, fruitless is his work, and in the Hereafter he will be in the ranks of those who have lost (all spiritual good).
PICKTHAL: This day are (all) good things made lawful for you. The food of those who have received the Scripture is lawful for you, and your food is lawful for them. And so are the virtuous women of the believers and the virtuous women of those who received the Scripture before you (lawful for you) when ye give them their marriage portions and live with them in honour, not in fornication, nor taking them as secret concubines. Whoso denieth the faith, his work is vain and he will be among the losers in the Hereafter.
SHAKIR: This day (all) the good things are allowed to you; and the food of those who have been given the Book is lawful for you and your food is lawful for them; and the chaste from among the believing women and the chaste from among those who have been given the Book before you (are lawful for you); when you have given them their dowries, taking (them) in marriage, not fornicating nor taking them for paramours in secret; and whoever denies faith, his work indeed is of no account, and in the hereafter he shall be one of the losers.
 
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salaam

Bro you have to inform her about Islam, let her know what Islam is about atleast.

Im not quite too sure how Sahih this Hadith is but goes something along the lines of:

Every single woman going to hell will take four (4) jannati men. Because they did not fikr nor had they cared in duniya about the Deen and Imaan of that woman and did not teach her Deen, these four men will be:
• Her father
• Her brother
• Her husband
• Her son

So as your role as a husband it becomes obligatory for you to give da'wah to her and then the rest is up to her Allahu alam.
 
glo said:
Mark, it sounds to me like you have general marital problems, and possibly have had for some time.

I feel that your conversion to Islam is not the first and foremost issue here.
Search your heart and be honest with yourself, not to use the fact that you have converted to Islam and your wife won't as an excuse for a separation/divorce.
Be sure not to use your conversion to Islam as a means to create a greater rift between you and your wife.

Whatever has happened between you two, she is your wife and you made her a promise. Give her respect and talk to her honestly. Please.
If you want a separation, then tell her how you feel about her. Don't just say 'Now I am a Muslim I cannot be married to you ...'. Tell her the truth!

It won't be easy, but sometimes doing the right thing isn't easy.

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
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i think that is a good advice:thumbs_up dont make the conversion to islam as an excuse for a divorce. Tell her that you had a problem long before your conversion. Anywas brother i think your wife deserves to know that you have converted. She will find out one day, let it be from you.
Divorce is the most hateful act which Allah has made halal but that doesnt mean you should stay in a miserable lonely marriage for the sake of your child-as he grows older he will notice the way his parents are acting towards each other- im sure you dont want to bring up your child in that uncomfortable atmosphere. Like you said whether his parents stay together or not his mother insisted that he will grow up as a christian but that doesnt mean you shouldnt encourage him learning about Islam and inshallah when he is old enough he can decide what religion to follow.
 
today a funny thing happened my wife was looking at her friends baby shower pictures , and the friend is a muslim girl she was wearing hijab , she was saying that she is the only one in the family who wears hijab even thought all are muslims.

i said that shows she is a true muslim, nada no response from my wife just a mmmmmmm :hiding:


Ar-RaYYan said:
i think that is a good advice:thumbs_up dont make the conversion to islam as an excuse for a divorce. Tell her that you had a problem long before your conversion. Anywas brother i think your wife deserves to know that you have converted. She will find out one day, let it be from you.
Divorce is the most hateful act which Allah has made halal but that doesnt mean you should stay in a miserable lonely marriage for the sake of your child-as he grows older he will notice the way his parents are acting towards each other- im sure you dont want to bring up your child in that uncomfortable atmosphere. Like you said whether his parents stay together or not his mother insisted that he will grow up as a christian but that doesnt mean you shouldnt encourage him learning about Islam and inshallah when he is old enough he can decide what religion to follow.
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takbeer.. Allah Akbar, Allah Akbar, Allah Akbar...

I am so happy about your conversion that it has overshadowed your current dilemma.. which I truly am sorry for...
I am not sure what I'd do personally, but let me ask you this.. do you have a secure job and are you a fit parent? Just in case this drags out in a negative way you'd have a safety net.
There is no reason why you can't be candid with your wife first and give her a while to think about everything she doesn't have to act over night.. pls don't bring the attraction or lack thereof into it .. just first express your feelings to her, your end of things, your choice and see if she wishes to join you for the ride, if not then sincerely tell her that you feel you might be growing apart on every aspect, spiritually, physically, emotionally.. and that some compromises have to be made or that you can go your seprate ways..



and Allah swt knows best

:w:
 
akhee...

i just don't understand, how on earth you got married in this first place? is it because your parents ask you to get married with her :uuh:

and how bad the marriage was? you have already a child with her?

i don't think you can't just turn back just because after marriage you think she is not attractive for you?

Did you realise that...love needs a lot of extra of work? It won't blossom if you just wait and see?

In Islam you can't divorce a woman just because you think she is not attractive to you...
In Islam physical attraction is one of the criteria to choose 'before' you get married...

But in islam of course you can marry four... but are you sure you're being fair?
 
Mark, how will you be able to keep the Ramadan fast, pray five times during day and night, read Qu'ran and avoid certain foods without your wife noticing that something is different?

How long before you will have to talk to her?
 
Allah has taught us always to be patient and pray (sobr & sholat). be patient means work hard, work smart and do the best (and let Allah do the rest)
 
I have a secure job but again nothing is secure in this world :). I am a fit parent, my wife does not work and i take care of them well.

I dont know how to start a conversation about this. what should i say.


Gossamer skye said:
takbeer.. Allah Akbar, Allah Akbar, Allah Akbar...

I am so happy about your conversion that it has overshadowed your current dilemma.. which I truly am sorry for...
I am not sure what I'd do personally, but let me ask you this.. do you have a secure job and are you a fit parent? Just in case this drags out in a negative way you'd have a safety net.
There is no reason why you can't be candid with your wife first and give her a while to think about everything she doesn't have to act over night.. pls don't bring the attraction or lack thereof into it .. just first express your feelings to her, your end of things, your choice and see if she wishes to join you for the ride, if not then sincerely tell her that you feel you might be growing apart on every aspect, spiritually, physically, emotionally.. and that some compromises have to be made or that you can go your seprate ways..



and Allah swt knows best

:w:
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