Non-Muslim admirer

[anonymous]

I hope that you all can help me out. as the title says i'm in some weird situation. Well, across our street this polish Family lives there and they have a son about my age. Over the years I have heard that he has a crush on me but I never really gave it much thought. I mean how can I anyway, he's non-Muslim I'm Muslim theres no way anyway. I knew I wasn't responsible for how he feels I can only lower my gaze, which was always my focus.

As I pass the street, If he would say hi, I would just say hi and walk away, or sometimes according to my mood not even say hi at all. I bumped into him on my way home. I was carrying water those big bottles he offered to carry. I told him i'm fine, but he kept insisting. He basically demanded, carried the water and walked with me home. As we were walking, he didn't even look at me for once. He has a younger brother who comes over to play with my little brother, so he comes sometimes to get him. I really feel like he's into something, but now that I know I am starting to act weird about it and its starting to show. Like I literally look outside my window to see if he's anywhere near by or else if he is around I will stay in.

Not too long ago I got cut by a little glass on the road, my heal was bleeding I was limping home & who sees me? Him!

I tried to just pretend I didnt see him, he ran to his house got me a band aid, and some water, asks me if he can help? I was bleeding a lot so I gave in & accepted the offer. He ended up walking home with me, making sure I got home safe.

I usually have no problem telling guys to get lost, with him I become lost for words, silenced.

I know that we wont be moving from this street anytime soon nor will he. How long can I pretend like he doesn't exist?

 

[markislam]

How old are you sister if you dont mind me asking ?

Stay away from this guy if you can

The Quaran strictly forbids marrying non muslims if you are a women.

Again unless i know your age i cant really give good guidance.

 

[جوري]

seize the opportunity and offer him some da3wah books insha'Allah

 

[جوري]

I thought when he comes to pick up his little brother, surely he must meet with some adults, perhaps her dad can give it on her behalf or she in her father's presence? I think it would be definitive in two ways...
He'd see that if he further wants to pursue her that she has outlined limits.
or deter him all together if he is after something less wholesome...

but I see where you are coming from.. men are so un-trusting of other men's intentions :lol: and maybe rightfully so, maybe you know how the male mind works by virtue of being one..

 

[Muezzin]

This would be very cute if the people in question were about five years old.

As it stands, it's tricky - if you give him attention, even if it's just to give him dawah books, he might take it the wrong way (i.e. he may think you're reciprocating). If you don't give him attention, he'll just try harder to win it, the puppy dog.

But dawah via a male intermediary as suggested in the posts above is a good idea.

 

[Rasema]

Assalamu Alikum

Arent you married?

Tell him " PLEASE STAY AWAY FROM ME"
If he says why, because I'm Muslim and proud.
He may seem kind but that can get you in a lot of trouble.

 

[anonymous]

How old are you sister if you dont mind me asking ?

Stay away from this guy if you can

The Quaran strictly forbids marrying non muslims if you are a women.

Again unless i know your age i cant really give good guidance.

I'm 17

 

[markislam]

Stay away from him , r u from UK.

You are still young do tell your mom or dad about this.

 

[Reticent]

The fact that you are questioning the situation means, alhamdulilah, that you understand that there is something not right with it. You are young, intelligent and have a long life ahead of you.

Disregard the advice of anyone who says "give him Dawah". Giving him 'dawah' is like doing something halal in a haram way - it must be avoided at all costs. Lets be blunt - we cannot talk about Islam whilst eying each other up.

Next, all these incidences where he has 'just appeared' are not to be thought of as something 'special' - something 'destined'. Allah does not destine haraam for you. Ignore them....

Think about it... you are young mashallah...and have your life ahead of you. If needs be...be firm and harsh with him. Avoid bumping into him. Explain to your parents that you feel uncomfortable in this situation. If needs be...move house (although that is the last resort). Your young, beautiful blessed innocence is worth every hardship. May Allah make it easy for you.


"Those who weep for anything other than Allah...it is a foolish waste of their time"

 

[cat eyes]

I hope that you all can help me out. as the title says i'm in some weird situation. Well, across our street this polish Family lives there and they have a son about my age. Over the years I have heard that he has a crush on me but I never really gave it much thought. I mean how can I anyway, he's non-Muslim I'm Muslim theres no way anyway. I knew I wasn't responsible for how he feels I can only lower my gaze, which was always my focus.

As I pass the street, If he would say hi, I would just say hi and walk away, or sometimes according to my mood not even say hi at all. I bumped into him on my way home. I was carrying water those big bottles he offered to carry. I told him i'm fine, but he kept insisting. He basically demanded, carried the water and walked with me home. As we were walking, he didn't even look at me for once. He has a younger brother who comes over to play with my little brother, so he comes sometimes to get him. I really feel like he's into something, but now that I know I am starting to act weird about it and its starting to show. Like I literally look outside my window to see if he's anywhere near by or else if he is around I will stay in.

Not too long ago I got cut by a little glass on the road, my heal was bleeding I was limping home & who sees me? Him!

I tried to just pretend I didnt see him, he ran to his house got me a band aid, and some water, asks me if he can help? I was bleeding a lot so I gave in & accepted the offer. He ended up walking home with me, making sure I got home safe.

I usually have no problem telling guys to get lost, with him I become lost for words, silenced.

I know that we wont be moving from this street anytime soon nor will he. How long can I pretend like he doesn't exist?

SISTER WHAT YOU ARE DOING IS NOT SAVE AT ALL. this story sounds all to familiar to me, offering you to do all these things for you, a girl whom lives in my town got raped by a guy like this.. he gained her trust through this type of behaviour such as offering to walk her home and carrying her bags etc she knew him for months and months b4 the rape took place.. Allah forbid it should not happen to you.. look he is non muslim and you are muslim! its totally haram

 

[Emperor000]

SISTER WHAT YOU ARE DOING IS NOT SAVE AT ALL. this story sounds all to familiar to me, offering you to do all these things for you, a girl whom lives in my town got raped by a guy like this.. he gained her trust through this type of behaviour such as offering to walk her home and carrying her bags etc she knew him for months and months b4 the rape took place.. Allah forbid it should not happen to you.. look he is non muslim and you are muslim! its totally haram

I TOTALLY AGREE WITH CAT EYES, BTW SRRY I CANT GIVE REPS:shade:

 

[Al-Zaara]

Don't want to sound noisey and you don't have to answer. Do you observe the hijab? Sometimes it helps.
Some guys are persistent though, it's really difficult at times to make a clear line of when you think it's OK for the guy to be helpful and when you think this is too much. Be it Muslim or non-Muslim. In the end, from experience, you just gotta be firm. Best thing would be ignoring as much as you can and be firm when you speak to him. Also, do sometimes point out to your mother/father/both parents that you see him awfully a lot and think it's odd, so that they know to keep an eye on you when they otherwise wouldn't. Just in case.

 

[Salahudeen]

If I had a creep like this round my sister I'd flip, don't you have any brothers that can tell him to back away??? or even your dad can have a friendly chat with him.

serious what's he doing harassing you?? tell him it's against your beliefs to mingle with opposite gender, if he still persists and your dad's chatted with him telling him to back off, then call the police and tell them he's stalking you and your afraid.

are you afraid??, I would be in your shoes some creepy guy popping up all the time out of no where.

get a restraining order against him lol have him done for stalking you and harassment lol

this is if telling him nicely to go away and then getting angry with him don't work.

are your parents really leaniant or westernised??? cos alot of family's would flip if this was happening to their daughter and they knew about it. tell them to sort it out for you.

You have the right to walk around and not be harassed by some creepy guy/stalker.

When he does the demanding thing, tell him to get lost and you don't need a slave or a little doggy to do your jobs for you. Try being mean to him, if your nice or not nasty, he's just gonna get encouraged.

Don't give into him when he demands cos that will just encourage him more, tell him to go do something productive instead of harrassing you like a little doggie.

 

[cat eyes]

I TOTALLY AGREE WITH CAT EYES, BTW SRRY I CANT GIVE REPS:shade:

thanks emperor brother :statisfie

wishing you 1month of ramadhan,4 weeks of barkat,30 days of forgiveness,720hours of guidance,43200 minutes of purity 2592000 seconds of noor.......! please remember me in your duas and everybody else.

have a blessful ramadhan:statisfie

sister maryam

 

[Alphadude]

seize the opportunity and offer him some da3wah books insha'Allah

no no they are young and anything can happen they will have more chance by seeing each other the boy could just pretend that he wants to learn more about the religion but he may have something else in mind i have ben there i know how the brain thinks lol

I hope that you all can help me out. as the title says i'm in some weird situation. Well, across our street this polish Family lives there and they have a son about my age. Over the years I have heard that he has a crush on me but I never really gave it much thought. I mean how can I anyway, he's non-Muslim I'm Muslim theres no way anyway. I knew I wasn't responsible for how he feels I can only lower my gaze, which was always my focus.

As I pass the street, If he would say hi, I would just say hi and walk away, or sometimes according to my mood not even say hi at all. I bumped into him on my way home. I was carrying water those big bottles he offered to carry. I told him i'm fine, but he kept insisting. He basically demanded, carried the water and walked with me home. As we were walking, he didn't even look at me for once. He has a younger brother who comes over to play with my little brother, so he comes sometimes to get him. I really feel like he's into something, but now that I know I am starting to act weird about it and its starting to show. Like I literally look outside my window to see if he's anywhere near by or else if he is around I will stay in.

Not too long ago I got cut by a little glass on the road, my heal was bleeding I was limping home & who sees me? Him!

I tried to just pretend I didnt see him, he ran to his house got me a band aid, and some water, asks me if he can help? I was bleeding a lot so I gave in & accepted the offer. He ended up walking home with me, making sure I got home safe.

I usually have no problem telling guys to get lost, with him I become lost for words, silenced.

I know that we wont be moving from this street anytime soon nor will he. How long can I pretend like he doesn't exist?

just tell him to stay away from u and give him a good reason if still he didnt lisson tell ur dad or mom or ur brother ur still at very young age and he is and one mistake u made is when he said hi u said hi back and walked this wasnt a good thing.

 

[AnonymousPoster]

Don't want to sound noisey and you don't have to answer. Do you observe the hijab? Sometimes it helps.
Some guys are persistent though, it's really difficult at times to make a clear line of when you think it's OK for the guy to be helpful and when you think this is too much. Be it Muslim or non-Muslim. In the end, from experience, you just gotta be firm. Best thing would be ignoring as much as you can and be firm when you speak to him. Also, do sometimes point out to your mother/father/both parents that you see him awfully a lot and think it's odd, so that they know to keep an eye on you when they otherwise wouldn't. Just in case.

I do observe Hijab.

 

[Salahudeen]

As khalid said sis, you should've not said "hi" back to him, lol that probably made him think your interested and then you let him carry your bags and then you let him help with your foot. he probably thinks he's defo got a chance with you now

he was persistant I understand but you have to be persistant in saying "no" also, don't let men walk over you and do what they want. Stand up for yourself and say

"NO, just get the hell away from me"

you have to act hard hearted if you've tried telling him nicely, tell him like a hard hearted person who's got attitude problem and your really anoyed lol

don't make your voice sweet and nice lol

but if you can't be bothered to do that, just tell your dad man.

the men in your family are there for a reason, use them in akward matters like this that you don't like dealing with

this is something that comes natural to men lol dealing with creepy stalkers

 

[Bub]

Oh mashaAllah ur young, if i was in ur shoe, i would tell him, i made a mistake of talking to you in 1st place. Leave me alone, its haram in my religious etc. Prayer to Allah to guide u from haram inshaAllah

 

[Alphadude]

As khalid said sis, you should've not said "hi" back to him, lol that probably made him think your interested and then you let him carry your bags and then you let him help with your foot. he probably thinks he's defo got a chance with you now

he was persistant I understand but you have to be persistant in saying "no" also, don't let men walk over you and do what they want. Stand up for yourself and say

"NO, just get the hell away from me"

you have to act hard hearted if you've tried telling him nicely, tell him like a hard hearted person who's got attitude problem and your really anoyed lol

don't make your voice sweet and nice lol

but if you can't be bothered to do that, just tell your dad man.

the men in your family are there for a reason, use them in akward matters like this that you don't like dealing with

this is something that comes natural to men lol dealing with creepy stalkers

brother squiggle
i agree with u but if the sister says no to him tht will make him a nightmare i mean he wont sstop bcoz of experiece im talking and think as u were 17 and this happend with u what would u do? just ignore him and he will understand and as the sister said she looks from the window and see if he is around and that is realy bad and the sister should stop that iswell tottaly forget like nothing ever happen

 

[zakirs]

i would suggest your big bro (if any) to talk for you kindly.Not in a bashing way like in movie.But ask him to explain that mingling with opposite gender is haram in islam .i guess he would understand.If not Ask your dad to talk to him kindly.