Non-Muslim admirer

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He came over yesterday to get his little brother my father asked him to come inside and eat iftar with us. He ate with us, and watched them pray.

Some of u said be mean to him. how? he's been always nice to me. The only thing i know i can do is lower my gaze and try not to seduce him in anyway to make him think i like him any more than im suppose to.
 
anonymous said:
He came over yesterday to get his little brother my father asked him to come inside and eat iftar with us. He ate with us, and watched them pray.

Some of u said be mean to him. how? he's been always nice to me. The only thing i know i can do is lower my gaze and try not to seduce him in anyway to make him think i like him any more than im suppose to.
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Salaam. Be careful sister and try to keep away from him

You are MashAllah only 17 years old...so you are in a way vulnerable. (I Apologise If This May Offend) Please be wary and cautious. I would advise you to have a word with one of the elders in your family to have a polite talk with him. An issue such as this can be distracting when you are young and if is affecting you in anyway then act upon my advice. The sooner you sort this problem out.... the sooner your heart will be at ease InshAllah
 
just tell your fathe to tell him that it's against their believes to let their daughters mix with men and he'd appreciate it if he stayed away from mixing with you.
 
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hey Im a guy and when I was in first grade there was a girl in my class who had a crush on me.My mom explained to the girls mom that we were muslim , etc. The non muslim girl's mom explained to her daughter and the girl understood.

After that were just friends nothing more nothing less.Obviously I don't have to marry her to be my friend, do I ?

So whats the big deal of having a FRIEND who is a boy or a girl.

ISLAM DOES NOT STOP YOU FROM HAVING A "FRIEND"
 
Anafam said:
hey Im a guy and when I was in first grade there was a girl in my class who had a crush on me.My mom explained to the girls mom that we were muslim , etc. The non muslim girl's mom explained to her daughter and the girl understood.

After that were just friends nothing more nothing less.Obviously I don't have to marry her to be my friend, do I ?

So whats the big deal of having a FRIEND who is a boy or a girl.

ISLAM DOES NOT STOP YOU FROM HAVING A "FRIEND"
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Have you ever read the hadith; if you've got nothing good to say remain quiet?

You might have forgotten this is an islamic forum or because of you're limited knowledge you think its acceptable to spread false beliefs and make stupid statements like that.
 
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rpwelton said:
This is not true. It does prohibit who are not mahrams to one another.
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yes, ok, I aplogize for the wrong knowledge, "I forgot to metion about friendships between men and women"

excuse me im still learning, not an adult yet and "aadil77" who are you to judge my knowledge over the internet. you can't judge my knowledge only Allah can.
 
anonymous said:
He came over yesterday to get his little brother my father asked him to come inside and eat iftar with us. He ate with us, and watched them pray.

Some of u said be mean to him. how? he's been always nice to me. The only thing i know i can do is lower my gaze and try not to seduce him in anyway to make him think i like him any more than im suppose to.
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You are playing with fire.
 
anonymous said:
He came over yesterday to get his little brother my father asked him to come inside and eat iftar with us. He ate with us, and watched them pray.

Some of u said be mean to him. how? he's been always nice to me. The only thing i know i can do is lower my gaze and try not to seduce him in anyway to make him think i like him any more than im suppose to.
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I think you MUST tell your father NOW about everything because any disaster happen.....he came to your house and eat with your family, what next? he will try to be very nice with your dad after that visit just to gain the trust of you dad.

sis, be careful....the time is running, and I dont want you to regret it when its too late. tell your father about it and let him talk to the boy!!

May Allah protect you from all evils

convert said:
You are playing with fire.
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That's right!!
 
anonymous said:
Some of u said be mean to him. how? he's been always nice to me. The only thing i know i can do is lower my gaze and try not to seduce him in anyway to make him think i like him any more than im suppose to.
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Don't be MEAN to him, like being offensive and whatnot. It's NOT the Islamic thing to do, we Muslims are suppoused to have great manners and appreciate kindness and share it too. :skeleton:
He might just be a decent guy, but still, all you can do for now is tell your Mum for example, so she's aware you're not comfortable with him being around because of several reasons and be short in speech with him and be very firm, even though he offers help. Just be brief, polite but cold.
 
I just dont need to be the centre of attention at the moment. My focus is ramadan. My father knows that he hlped me a couple of times, he knows that he doesnt have bad intentions. Its kind of weird for me to go up to my dad and discuss this with him, whats to discuss exactly?.. My mom knows that he helped me too, she thought it was nice.
 
Al-Zaara said:
Don't be MEAN to him, like being offensive and whatnot. It's NOT the Islamic thing to do, we Muslims are suppoused to have great manners and appreciate kindness and share it too. :skeleton:
He might just be a decent guy, but still, all you can do for now is tell your Mum for example, so she's aware you're not comfortable with him being around because of several reasons and be short in speech with him and be very firm, even though he offers help. Just be brief, polite but cold.
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I tried to tell my mom but she thinks hes a good person. Ofcourse thats true. I wish I didnt know what I know, everything would be a lot less awkward for me.

I'm cold, Ice.
 
i don't know what your dad was thinking bringing this boy in to the house especially a non muslim or whatever, this is not right anyway for starters weather your dad knows the story or not even i was not born into a muslim family and my dad was not even allowing any boy off the road to come in and not even my brothers friends... like don't mind me saying your dad should know better especially knowing boys mentality.
 
:sl:

sis i sincerely advise you to stay away from him.

Some of u said be mean to him. how? he's been always nice to me. The only thing i know i can do is lower my gaze and try not to seduce him in anyway to make him think i like him any more than im suppose to.
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even if he tries talking to you, just completely ignore him. i mean you cant force someone to talk to you. if you dont want to talk to him, you shouldn't feel obliged to, no matter how nice he is. make it clear to him where you stand, even if it means being being mean :P<---if thats what will work, do it!!! if you don't want help carrying anything, hes got no right insisting. do NOT cave in and just be firm about it so that he knows where you stand cos if you dont, in all honesty, i think you being nice to him may send out the wrong signals to him --->the more he sees you being lenient, the more he will be lead on, which isn't your intention (but that's how he will take it). so the matter is in your hands :)

if your parents aren't going to help you out, you have to take the initiative and help yourself out :) fear Allah as much as you can. this guy sounds like bad news :(stay completely away from him...when he comes over, go to your room and lock your self in :p oh and if you're already wearing the hijaab, maybe you should consider covering your face! surely that would scare him off for good ;D:exhausted
 
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convert said:
You are playing with fire.
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:sl:
EXACTLY

Umm ul-Shaheed said:
:sl:

if your parents aren't going to help you out, you have to take the initiative and help yourself out :) fear Allah as much as you can. this guy sounds like bad news :(stay completely away from him...when he comes over, go to your room and lock your self in :p oh and if you're already wearing the hijaab, maybe you should consider covering your face! surely that would scare him off for good ;D:exhausted
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^That's some very nice advice, MashAllah :)

STOP BEATING AROUND THE BUSH. By his behavior, it is very clear that he wants to be your friend or maybe a "special" friend. Its good that his behavior has been good with you so if you go firm over this you may not be able to take it step-by-step and you don't wanna hurt him either, right? So considering the courtesy you both hold for each other, tell him nicely what you've told us here. Tell him that it can't work, just can't because it is not allowed in Islam and you're a Muslim. Tell him that you can't be his friend because you fear the greater dangers this company could bring to you in the future. You have to lay it down. Make it clear that you really appreciate the things he's done for you so far but you can't be his friend and just walk away. Don't wait for his response because he will try to persuade you and say "I just wanna be friends" et al. And then start covering your face at least around the areas where he bumped into you earlier (your neighborhood). And if there are still any attempts from his side to get in touch with you then tell him that if he wants anything serious (marriage) with you then he'll have to become a Muslim and ask him to get in touch with your dad, firstly, to learn Islam and secondly, ....... :statisfie

Communication is the key.

May Allah guide you and those wandering in darkness.
:w:
 
Ali_008 said:
:sl:
EXACTLY



^That's some very nice advice, MashAllah :)

STOP BEATING AROUND THE BUSH. By his behavior, it is very clear that he wants to be your friend or maybe a "special" friend. Its good that his behavior has been good with you so if you go firm over this you may not be able to take it step-by-step and you don't wanna hurt him either, right? So considering the courtesy you both hold for each other, tell him nicely what you've told us here. Tell him that it can't work, just can't because it is not allowed in Islam and you're a Muslim. Tell him that you can't be his friend because you fear the greater dangers this company could bring to you in the future. You have to lay it down. Make it clear that you really appreciate the things he's done for you so far but you can't be his friend and just walk away. Don't wait for his response because he will try to persuade you and say "I just wanna be friends" et al. And then start covering your face at least around the areas where he bumped into you earlier (your neighborhood). And if there are still any attempts from his side to get in touch with you then tell him that if he wants anything serious (marriage) with you then he'll have to become a Muslim and ask him to get in touch with your dad, firstly, to learn Islam and secondly, ....... :statisfie

Communication is the key.

May Allah guide you and those wandering in darkness.
:w:
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^ :thumbs_up
 

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