Noob Girl

[FilleTriste]

Okay, so I am a noob here... I am 14 years old (born in Dubai, U.A.E., on the 9th of May, 2004 -- AKA the worst day for my parents; they wanted a boy, LMAO:Emoji49::Emoji7:!), female (the first problem in my life, because honestly, I got no rights or freedom in my religion. Do not give me the "Oh, your gender has the gift of getting pregnant blah blah" ---- cause, yeah sure I like babies, but I do not want that to be the only reason I exist... Another reason I hate being a girl corresponds with what I mentioned earlier about my parents wanting a boy, but oopsie woopsie for them!), in high school, from Pakistan (AKA sexism hotspot), and officially hated by God for some mistakes I made in the past (I apologized and pray everyday, but apparently he doesn't care, LOL!).

There it is. That is why I am here. I will post my crap soon, but otherwise I will just go with the flow of life, waiting for death.


PS: will I get banned for being HONEST? Cause else, I will just have to leave this website. Also, I know I sound mad in this post, but I really will not get mad at any well-meant reply (unless you start something and attack me, then let the beef begin). Also, what I have mentioned above is the quarter of the quarter of the half of the quarter of my problem.















Yes, I am broken. Help. Please.imsad

 

[*charisma*]

Assalamu Alaikum

Yup, sounds like a 14 year old girl!

Welcome to the forum. And there's nothing wrong with being a girl!
I'm guessing your parents are probably strict with you. Well, you're not alone. However, you being 14 years old, you should listen to your parents and respect them as long as what they tell you to do is correct.

And not having your du'as answered doesn't mean Allah hates you. You should remove that idea from your head.

 

[FilleTriste]

Assalamu Alaikum

Yup, sounds like a 14 year old girl!

Welcome to the forum. And there's nothing wrong with being a girl!
I'm guessing your parents are probably strict with you. Well, you're not alone. However, you being 14 years old, you should listen to your parents and respect them as long as what they tell you to do is correct.

And not having your du'as answered doesn't mean Allah hates you. You should remove that idea from your head.

(BTW, the image you removed was supposed to be a GIF, but it is fine since it didn't relate to the post much; just wanted a quick crying GIF just for the meme-ish effect) Walaikum As'Salam. Of course people are going to assume I am being a hormonal teen, so I am not surprised. Thank you for the reply, though. I do want to talk about what I am exactly going through -- like with concrete details, but I don't know if I should create a new thread or just post it here. I want to explain why I am upset. Trust me, I am not whining over a broken phone or no new clothes; I am on the verge of feeling depressed over other issues (they are age-related to an extent). I am too afraid to talk to my parents or older sister (who is 17) about my hardships; I do feel comfortable sharing it with strangers... imsad Trust me, when I open up, you will see why I even mentioned God and my parents in the first place.

 

[Eric H]

Greetings and peace be with you Pink_Uniqueorn; and welcome to the forum;

I am trying to think back to the troubles our 14 year old daughter gave us. Our 15 year old granddaughter is giving us similar but different challenges to overcome. I am thinking, that when you get to the grand old age of forty, you will look back and think your parents weren't quiet so bad after all.

Never give up hope in Allah, if you look at his 99 names, he is compassionate, merciful and three of his names are the forgiver. If you can become the person that Allah intends you to be, you will set the world on fire. I am not talking about flames and matches here.

:barak:

 

[*charisma*]

(BTW, the image you removed was supposed to be a GIF, but it is fine since it didn't relate to the post much; just wanted a quick crying GIF just for the meme-ish effect) Walaikum As'Salam. Of course people are going to assume I am being a hormonal teen, so I am not surprised. Thank you for the reply, though. I do want to talk about what I am exactly going through -- like with concrete details, but I don't know if I should create a new thread or just post it here. I want to explain why I am upset. Trust me, I am not whining over a broken phone or no new clothes; I am on the verge of feeling depressed over other issues (they are age-related to an extent). I am too afraid to talk to my parents or older sister (who is 17) about my hardships; I do feel comfortable sharing it with strangers... Trust me, when I open up, you will see why I even mentioned God and my parents in the first place.

Never stated anything about hormones. It is rather that you are 14 years old and there are certain characteristics that come with that age. You may start a new thread in the advice section if you prefer and leave this one as your intro thread.

 

[FilleTriste]

Greetings and peace be with you Pink_Uniqueorn; and welcome to the forum;

I am trying to think back to the troubles our 14 year old daughter gave us. Our 15 year old granddaughter is giving us similar but different challenges to overcome. I am thinking, that when you get to the grand old age of forty, you will look back and think your parents weren't quiet so bad after all.

Never give up hope in Allah, if you look at his 99 names, he is compassionate, merciful and three of his names are the forgiver. If you can become the person that Allah intends you to be, you will set the world on fire. I am not talking about flames and matches here.

:barak:

Thank you for the greeting and the reply. I just do not know what to do or expect anymore. Nothing really works out well. If one thing goes well, another goes horribly wrong. Eventually, everything gets worse and I feel like I am too stressed in between school, crush, impressing parents and friends, etc.

- - - Updated - - -

Never stated anything about hormones. It is rather that you are 14 years old and there are certain characteristics that come with that age. You may start a new thread in the advice section if you prefer and leave this one as your intro thread.

Thanks. I will go post it over there. Though I feel like once I let others know what I am going through, I would be judged but I will just go take the risk.

 

[*charisma*]

Thanks. I will go post it over there. Though I feel like once I let others know what I am going through, I would be judged but I will just go take the risk.

Well the reality of it is that you or your situation is going to get judged regardless. That's just a humanistic trait that we all have; it's what keeps us safe and allows us to make decisions on a day to day basis. I don't think anyone here is mean if that is what you're afraid of. You should expect respect as we expect it from you.

Even though we don't share souls, sometimes we share similar experiences and we can empathize with each other. However if there is a situation and you want to know if you're in the wrong, then we will tell you, because we'd prefer it that you don't do anything wrong. If you need advice, then we will advise you. Sometimes we think we understand the world, but there is a lot more learning to do, so I hope if you are willing to share your issues then you are also willing to take the advice from those who understand and are knowledgable.

 

[Nájlá]

:welcome:

Don't worry, life is not perfect we are SUPPOSED to have problems. No one is free from problems/struggles. This is life it's not perfect.

Start a new thread and inshaa'allah we might be able to give advice.

Nice to see Muslims at your age still engaging in Muslim forums

 

[FilleTriste]

Well the reality of it is that you or your situation is going to get judged regardless. That's just a humanistic trait that we all have; it's what keeps us safe and allows us to make decisions on a day to day basis. I don't think anyone here is mean if that is what you're afraid of. You should expect respect as we expect it from you.

Even though we don't share souls, sometimes we share similar experiences and we can empathize with each other. However if there is a situation and you want to know if you're in the wrong, then we will tell you, because we'd prefer it that you don't do anything wrong. If you need advice, then we will advise you. Sometimes we think we understand the world, but there is a lot more learning to do, so I hope if you are willing to share your issues then you are also willing to take the advice from those who understand and are knowledgable.

Thank you for the information. I am fine with advice, but I just don not want to get flamed or something. I had some bad experiences in the past on some other website. I am glad no one is going to be mean here, as you said.

- - - Updated - - -

:welcome:

Don't worry, life is not perfect we are SUPPOSED to have problems. No one is free from problems/struggles. This is life it's not perfect.

Start a new thread and inshaa'allah we might be able to give advice.

Nice to see Muslims at your age still engaging in Muslim forums

Thanks. I will start a new thread once I am done with some homework. I know in-depth explanation(s) will get me the best advice.

 

[Eric H]

Greetings and peace be with you Pink_Uniqueorn;

I just do not know what to expect anymore.

I shall be an immature 70 year old in April, and I still don't know what to expect anymore. Life just seems to be one crisis after another, and if you ever find peace for a month or two, then you have done well. In the last year I have crossed paths with rape, suicide, anger, fights, depression, alcoholics and drug addicts; break down in families, and some other minor stuff. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger; The struggles you face today; are to give you the strength for the future.

I say this not to depress you, but in the hope that you find resilience and perseverance. Fight all battles with kindness, fight evil with good. When life punches you in the face and beats you down; you always have to get up again, and how many times do you have to get up? The answer is always the same, just one more time. As our wise mod charisma said, you can always start a new thread, but not everyone is allowed to answer in the advice section.

In the spirit of never giving up hope in Allah,

May you be blessed in your struggles,

Eric

 

[FilleTriste]

Greetings and peace be with you Pink_Uniqueorn;



I shall be an immature 70 year old in April, and I still don't know what to expect anymore. Life just seems to be one crisis after another, and if you ever find peace for a month or two, then you have done well. In the last year I have crossed paths with rape, suicide, anger, fights, depression, alcoholics and drug addicts; break down in families, and some other minor stuff. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger; The struggles you face today; are to give you the strength for the future.

I say this not to depress you, but in the hope that you find resilience and perseverance. Fight all battles with kindness, fight evil with good. When life punches you in the face and beats you down; you always have to get up again, and how many times do you have to get up? The answer is always the same, just one more time. As our wise mod charisma said, you can always start a new thread, but not everyone is allowed to answer in the advice section.

In the spirit of never giving up hope in Allah,

May you be blessed in your struggles,

Eric

I am sorry to hear about your struggles. Thanks for the wisdom, though. It was pretty motivational. I will make a separate thread soon, which will be explaining everything. I hope God blesses you, too.

 

[Eric H]

Greetings and peace be with you Pink_Uniqueorn;

I am sorry to hear about your struggles.

Please do not feel sorry, I have the advantage of older age .

Somehow you have to get from your age to my age in one piece, and still be able to smile. Despite journeying through a lot of horrible stuff in life, I remain an optimist and I see hope. Beyond a doubt, I know that you also have this same ability to survive through life. You don't have to believe me or anyone else, you have to believe in yourself, and put your trust in Allah, and you will grow in faith.

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a great mystery, Lord grant me the wisdom strength, peace and serenity to live this day and every day knowing that you hold me in the palm of your hand.

May you be blessed and be a blessing to those you love and care for,
Eric

 

[FilleTriste]

Greetings and peace be with you Pink_Uniqueorn;



Please do not feel sorry, I have the advantage of older age .

Somehow you have to get from your age to my age in one piece, and still be able to smile. Despite journeying through a lot of horrible stuff in life, I remain an optimist and I see hope. Beyond a doubt, I know that you also have this same ability to survive through life. You don't have to believe me or anyone else, you have to believe in yourself, and put your trust in Allah, and you will grow in faith.

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a great mystery, Lord grant me the wisdom strength, peace and serenity to live this day and every day knowing that you hold me in the palm of your hand.

May you be blessed and be a blessing to those you love and care for,
Eric

Thank you so much. Your positivity is really amazing.

 

[Eric H]

Greetings and peace be with you Pink_Uniqueorn; sorry I can't reply to your thread in the advice section,

I was getting bullied at school

I would rather get hit, than live in fear of getting hit.

I worked with people with challenging behaviour for about twenty years; I don't know how many times I have been kicked, punched had things thrown at me and I have been called all sorts. I have found that the pain from getting hit lasts for about an hour or so. but the pain of living in fear can last for days, weeks and years. Hence I have found that the lesser pain is taking the hit.

Fear is self generating, if you think you should be afraid, then guess what, you will live in fear. About ten percent of our problems in life are caused by other people, about ninety percent of our problems are how we respond.

I have been going out as a volunteer for the last eleven years on a Friday night from about 11 pm to around 4 the next morning. Our aim is to try and help people and to encourage kindness in our town. I don't know how many times I have stood in the middle of angry drunks fighting, I have asked people to hand over their knives, we have had to witness a lot of blood and pain. We go out in teams of three or four, and the people I prefer to be out with in these situations, are ladies who are in their sixties and seventies, the oldest lady is 79.

I know that we are the physically weakest people out on the streets, and when you are the weakest you need the help of someone who is bigger and stronger, and that is God. We pray for the wisdom and the peace to do God's will, we pray for something good to happen, and we are always amazed at the outcomes. Our problems are great, but God is greater.

Life keeps trying to beat you to the ground, but if you always look for a kind solution, then with God's help you come through life's problems with a smile.

Thank you so much. Your positivity is really amazing.

Now here is the thing - you recognise positivity; and to my way of thinking, if you recognise it, that means you have the power to be positive yourself. And with the help of Allah, you can. It is now past my bedtime.

May you be blessed with the wisdom to do the will of Allah,

Eric

 

[FilleTriste]

Greetings and peace be with you Pink_Uniqueorn; sorry I can't reply to your thread in the advice section,



I would rather get hit, than live in fear of getting hit.

I worked with people with challenging behaviour for about twenty years; I don't know how many times I have been kicked, punched had things thrown at me and I have been called all sorts. I have found that the pain from getting hit lasts for about an hour or so. but the pain of living in fear can last for days, weeks and years. Hence I have found that the lesser pain is taking the hit.

Fear is self generating, if you think you should be afraid, then guess what, you will live in fear. About ten percent of our problems in life are caused by other people, about ninety percent of our problems are how we respond.

I have been going out as a volunteer for the last eleven years on a Friday night from about 11 pm to around 4 the next morning. Our aim is to try and help people and to encourage kindness in our town. I don't know how many times I have stood in the middle of angry drunks fighting, I have asked people to hand over their knives, we have had to witness a lot of blood and pain. We go out in teams of three or four, and the people I prefer to be out with in these situations, are ladies who are in their sixties and seventies, the oldest lady is 79.

I know that we are the physically weakest people out on the streets, and when you are the weakest you need the help of someone who is bigger and stronger, and that is God. We pray for the wisdom and the peace to do God's will, we pray for something good to happen, and we are always amazed at the outcomes. Our problems are great, but God is greater.

Life keeps trying to beat you to the ground, but if you always look for a kind solution, then with God's help you come through life's problems with a smile.



Now here is the thing - you recognise positivity; and to my way of thinking, if you recognise it, that means you have the power to be positive yourself. And with the help of Allah, you can. It is now past my bedtime.

May you be blessed with the wisdom to do the will of Allah,

Eric

Thank you for the story. Yes, I do recognize positivity and I also admire people who practice. I, however, am having trouble being positive nowadays. I am just waiting for God to answer my prayers.

 

[SintoDinto]

Thank you for the story. Yes, I do recognize positivity and I also admire people who practice. I, however, am having trouble being positive nowadays. I am just waiting for God to answer my prayers.

one important thing to remember about prayers, sister, is that they don't always get accepted, but they always get answered. Allah may replace it with something better, he may postpone it for a later time, or he may reject it because of the pain the thing you are praying for may cause. also, i am 19, going on 20, and i suffer from many mental health issues as a result of lifelong trauma and family turmoil, much of which or all of which i can not mention on this site, some of which for legal reasons, despite the fact i am not at risk for arrest. i was suicidal for years, and the very thing that led me away from religion, which you seem to be describing, (the opposite sex and religious restrictions) came back to cause a ripple effect of trauma culminating in a tragedy that actually led me to turn to Allah when I needed him most, and I was saved. I am currently dealing with hormones at my age (not saying what you have is just that, believe me, I've been there, it is NOT fun when you want to be with the member of the opposite sex of your dreams and you get shamed for a glance or being in the same room, but I'm just making a statement that is relevant). My puberty appears to be extended, or I may be in the final era. Just wait until youth kicks in. I didn't get a single childhood kiss. That's not even haram! (before puberty) and i actually liked someone. i didn't get a single adolescent kiss or "I love you" from a sweetheart as a kid or teen and im OK with that.
but the important thing is first recognizing the value of knowledge of Allah that connection with your creator who created everything and controls everything, though you may not see it, then seeking that knowledge. Read the story of musa (as) and al khidr (as) in chapter 18 in the quran titled al kahf (the cave), and youll see what i mean by "though you may not see it." It's in the middle. the chapter is 110 verses long.
the point is i understand youre going through a rough time. we all go through it. some of us more than others.

 

[crimsontide06]

I think a good speaker for you to listen to is Yasmin Mogahed.

Start with this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GDBdOmBSCK8

https://www.youtube.com/user/YasminMogahedOnline/videos

She has a book too; Reclaim Your Heart.

 

[Eric H]

Greetings and peace be with you Pink_Uniqueorn;

I really just want to be a doctor,

That is a big dream to have at the age of 14, just quietly get back to doing well at school and aim for university, it seems your parents are happy for this to happen. When my daughter was about your age, she knew she wanted to be a mid wife, she was far more focused in life than I ever was. She has been a mid wife now for twelve years, she is head of her team and does part time lecturing at the university.

I can imagine there is a great need for women doctors where you are, if you can achieve it, you will help a lot of girls and women. I can imagine that you will have to be stronger than I am, but it is within your power to have this big dream. The thing with big dreams is they take a lot of belief and hard work, BUT YOU CAN DO IT. Just remember it only takes an ordinary girl to do extraordinary things with the help of Allah.

You are a kind and caring person, and if you can be the woman that Allah intends you to be, you will set the world on fire with your kindness.

May you be blessed with the wisdom and strength to do the will of Allah,

Eric

 

[FilleTriste]

Greetings and peace be with you Pink_Uniqueorn;



That is a big dream to have at the age of 14, just quietly get back to doing well at school and aim for university, it seems your parents are happy for this to happen. When my daughter was about your age, she knew she wanted to be a mid wife, she was far more focused in life than I ever was. She has been a mid wife now for twelve years, she is head of her team and does part time lecturing at the university.

I can imagine there is a great need for women doctors where you are, if you can achieve it, you will help a lot of girls and women. I can imagine that you will have to be stronger than I am, but it is within your power to have this big dream. The thing with big dreams is they take a lot of belief and hard work, BUT YOU CAN DO IT. Just remember it only takes an ordinary girl to do extraordinary things with the help of Allah.

You are a kind and caring person, and if you can be the woman that Allah intends you to be, you will set the world on fire with your kindness.

May you be blessed with the wisdom and strength to do the will of Allah,

Eric

Thank you so much. That was inspirational.

 

[bint e aisha]

[MENTION=43923]Pink_Uniqueorn[/MENTION]

Assalamu alaikum dear young sister,

I've read your post in the other thread and you have not done anything horrible. MashaAllah you've spent 14 years like a good Muslim and inshaAllah will spend the rest of your life according to Qur'an and Sunnah. You're a good soul mashaAllah, at least better than me. May Allah bless you.

I'm really sorry to hear about your parents feelings at your birth and can understand the emotional trauma you've gone through. May Allah ta'ala grant you the strength to deal with these situations and may He always be on your side. Ameen

Wassalam

*****

[MENTION=370]Eric H[/MENTION]
May Allah ta'ala increase you in wisdom and shower you with His blessings, mercy and love.