Old habits die hard

[revert88]

A Salaam Alaikum Brothers and Sisters

InshaAllah you are all having a meaningful ramadan and find blessings in this month. I wanted to ask and address a few things relating to my (and maybe your own) new life as a revert to Islam.
1) Alcohol. I'm in college and in my 20's so, being around liquor is inevitable. I myself used to drink quite a bit and have gotten in trouble with the law with it before (as have most of my friends). Giving up alcohol and admitting to Allah that I submit and give my alcohol consumption to him was so uplifting. However, being around friends it is always " lets go drink" or, "lets have some wine". It is never a let's go get dinner but, they always have to be intoxicated and it is hard telling them "sorry my faith does not permit this". How have any of you handled this?
2)Coming out as a New Muslim. I have had a hard time explaining to people I have converted to Islam and I get the reaction of always "shocked". I think it might be that way for anyone converting to a new faith but lets be honest if I said christianity no one would bat an eyelash. I am a tall, decent build young "ethnically jewish" guy with earrings and a nose ring that is liberal in every sense and gay so I guess that might be why. Do any of you experience this culture shock with your friends? Other than that I'd like to get to my third point!
3) Science and Faith. By trade, I am a Behavioral Neuroscientist. It is hard being around everyone who is Atheist and then excusing yourself to have to go pray Salat al Asr when people around you have no faith in anything and indulge in gambling, fornication, stealing, lying, cheating, usury, gluttony, alcohol, and the list goes on. People that ask me about Islam I explain that it is very compatible with science and we have no problem with our faith and science what so ever yet I have been criticized with "you can twist any text to make it sound your way". It can be frustrating at times but being among people who don't understand is difficult. How do you cope?

I hope some of you can share your experiences and insights as well.

 

[sajjad7006]

Walikiumusalam brother!
Welcome to the ISLAM , where you can easily find your problem solutions and all your needs. Many new reverts faces these type of problems of their society due to dependence of your country. If you are in a Muslim country then you would not face any type of bad behavior of others but if you are in other countries then you have to ready to face these hurts. So don't hesitate to offer prayers now you are Muslim alhamdulilah your problem is now Allah problem who will solve them.
Best of Luck
JazakAllah o Khair

 

[Nur Student]

We Alaikum Salam ve Rahmatullah Brother "revert88",

First of all congratulations for choosing Islam. I am not a revert and maybe I can't understand you fully. But I have had quite a bunch of experiences similar to some of yours. My advice to you is that be straight and tell everything openly. I know it will be very difficult at first and your friends will not appreciate it. It may even take years for them; however, they will understand you sooner or later when they see your sincerity, patience, and firmness. They will notice true Islam through your good actions. It has always worked for me. This is also a great opportunity to spread God's message through your tongue of disposition, which is usually much more effective than literally speaking.

Even if not now, you have to do it one day. So why not now? Life's capital is limited and things to be done are many. The sooner you face it, the better it is for you and for all your beloved ones. Don't hesitate or you'll always lose.

As for your 3rd concern, I will quote from Bediuzzaman Said Nursi's "The Rays";

The negation comprises two types:The First Type says: “A certain thing does not exist at a certain place or in a particular direction.” This kind of denial can be proved, and it lies outside of our discussion. The Second Type consists of negating and denying those doctrinal and sacred matters, general and comprehensive, that concern this world, all beings, the hereafter, and the succession of different ages. This kind of negation cannot in any fashion be substantiated, as we have shown in the First Matter, for what is needed to substantiate such negations is a vision that shall encompass the whole universe, behold the hereafter, and observe every aspect of time without limit.

May Allah help you and make it easy for all. Amin!

 

[Abz2000]

Salamz,
It's not easy at all was experiencIng the same thing last night lol,
A really nice cousin of mine who i really get along with due to all the things we used to get up together when i'd come to BD who hardly ever prays, doesn't bother with zakat etc, but NEVER breaks his fast with food.
He bought his weed after Iftar but didn't get a chance to smoke it till near the pre-dawn meal due to our runarounds, then I ended up smoking all the cigarettes (not good I know) leaving him nothing to roll it up with, so when my staff come upstairs for the pre-dawn meal he sends one of them to the shop at 3am to get cigarettes and gives him a generous tip.
I did my best to explain to him that Ramadan was The best and easiest time to throw away the evil inclinations but I could see he wanted to make sure he finished his zoot before the adhan went off , but was wary not to go on the roof to sit and chat with him in case I felt like taking a tug,
I know some of my weaknesses and just sometimes straight jacket myself by avoiding proximity As soon as I feel a little inclination to slip into seduction, it isn't always easy and I'm not perfect, but the Quran tells us fro AVOID fahishah and zina etc, not just to refrain - So it must be the best way,
You soften to it, your heart softens to it, and then it melts, and then you fail and Satan wins.
If its easy for you to hate the deed but try to help the person, great, otherwise I've noticed it's easier to just avoid that type of company even if you get along with them best, or at least when they slip.

On the authority of Abu Musa al-Ash'ari (radiAllahu anhu), the Prophet (salAllahu alayhi wasalam) said:

"The likeness of a righteous friend and an evil friend, is the likeness of a (musk) perfume seller and a blacksmith. As for the perfume seller, he may either bestow something on you, or you may purchase something from him, or you may benefit from his sweet smell. And as for the blacksmith, he may either burn your clothes, or you may be exposed to his awful smell."
[Bukhari and Muslim]

I still love my cousin, we go places together, but try to avoid him when he's about to mess up, though I do find his eagerness to finish his zoot before the fast starts quite confusing and amusing because he's all too ready to give up food and water for the sake of Allah even though he was really thirsty, his sincerity leaves an unintended smile on my face and I can't tell him not to bother fasting as that's still a duty. I just do what I can to save myself and help him with advice.


http://yourtakeonspirituality.org/