Online potentials - your views

lostsoul2016

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Salam brothers and sisters,

I wanted to know your opinion - what is your view on online websites for finding potential partners?
Have you tried? What was your view and success rate? What websites did you try?

Thank you.
 
Seeking spouse in the modern world

Salam brothers and sisters.
This may seem very similar to another post I had made earlier on in the week but i is not quite the same. I certainly hope to get your valued responses and opinions.

So, I am in the "west". Times have changed. Whilst respecting the Islamic faith, how does one who does not have much of a family to search for a potential partner find a partner?
The way it seems to be these days are dating websites and such however we know that dating is haram (forbidden).

What are the views of meeting people in public places and getting to know them over coffee or dinner and such (with all respect put in place) to see if there is some chemistry before actually going into the world of meeting the family etc.. ?
What about for those who are not Muslims but are willing to revert? You meet someone, you chat, you get to know them etc... ? Of course, once again - it must be stressed that these things would be in the public eye and not "late night" meetings or in private places etc...

Thoughts? I am very interested because for someone of my age and living in the modern world along with the work lifestyle (in IT might I add), it really is difficult

Thank you :)
 
Re: Seeking spouse in the modern world

What about for those who are not Muslims but are willing to revert? You meet someone, you chat, you get to know them etc... ? Of course, once again - it must be stressed that these things would be in the public eye and not "late night" meetings or in private places etc...

Tried that, got obscene amounts of backlash for it. Good luck with that.
 
Re: Seeking spouse in the modern world

would that have been a backlash due to your culture or... ?
 
Re: Seeking spouse in the modern world

Whilst respecting the Islamic faith...

What about making sincere dua to Allah subhano wa Ta'ala...? Or are you respectful but insincere [mushriq]???
 
Well of course needless to say I am making a sincere dua to Allah!
I was asking in terms of practicality too! :)
 
I don't have an issue with online potentials..... If someone I know, happens to know them in their part of the earth [emoji39]
 
Which is unlikely really that if you find a potential match yourself....then for someone you know to maybe know of them.... :)
 
Which is unlikely really that if you find a potential match yourself....then for someone you know to maybe know of them.... :)

Well no. Someone I knew found a potential online and that person shared a last name with one of their friends and so.. They ended up speaking to the persons family and all. Lol it was weird.
 
lol that's what i am saying - rare that it happens :)
so difficult - I want to, inshallah, get married but its difficult in this modern world (and the endless picky people!)... takes time to find potential matches too.
 
Salam brothers and sisters,

I wanted to know your opinion - what is your view on online websites for finding potential partners?
Have you tried? What was your view and success rate? What websites did you try?

Thank you.

Sorry I can't say that I've personally tried any. But keep this in mind inshallah: https://islamqa.info/en/85099

You're allowed to use matrimonial sites, as long as they follow the Islamic rules. Maybe an experienced brother can message you with the matrimonial sites that are reputable inshallah.
 
The other challenge is that it seems too many people are focused on looks/appearance. I am not the most attractive person and have been pretty much rejected for most of my life :(
Without going into too much detail - there was one person who thought a lot of me and it felt great but sadly/fortunately that is no more. And that's the struggle these days - finding someone who looks beyond the appearance and also keeping it halal
 
i'm a wretch, who is cursed by Allah to not fulfil half my deen.

Acceptance is hard.

Scimi
 
well thanks for a positive response!
but yes i have accepted it all my life pretty much, then got lots of positive attention and it was great. :(

Oh Allah, please grant me a great match/potential ASAP inshallah.
 
I think that goes both ways. You'd want someone you're attracted to just like someone would want to be attracted to you. Changing little things about yourself can make a big difference, and honestly I sometimes think that women's standards in regards to how their men look are a lot lower than men's standards of how attractive they want their women to be. In regards to your physical appearance you can work out more, get in shape/bulk up, grow a beard/facial hair, get a haircut, keep yourself very nice and clean, cut your nails, brush your teeth lol.

In regards to personality, women can smell desperation. If you seem desperate, for example if you smile too much, give a woman too much attention, try to converse a lot with a woman who doesn't give you the time of day etc. It's quite off-putting. Women can be weird, but really it's about what type of woman you're trying to attract. If you just want anyone then that's not going to work...Also it could be that you have high standards and want a very physically beautiful girl, so lower your standards a bit because personality counts. I don't know how to pinpoint your issues cuz I don't know you, but do some self-reflection. Maybe if you have sisters, ask their opinion (i know that's weird)..but maybe they know someone who might be interested and is good for you and are just too shy to make suggestions. If you have married guy friends, maybe their wives would know someone..use your connections.
 
i'm a wretch, who is cursed by Allah to not fulfil half my deen.

Acceptance is hard.

Scimi

That's the attitude I was looking for. See Scimi is getting along fine without a woman!

loool

BTW I thought you had kids? :X or was that someone else.
 
[FONT=wf_segoe-ui_light]3 – It should not allow any correspondence between the two sexes, because of the evils that result from that, including the participation of mischief-makers both male and female whose intention is to do evil or have fun. Rather the administrators of the site should first check on the identity of the suitor, then put him in touch with the guardian (wali) of the woman.
[/FONT]

I can't imagine to thrust some random guy to choose a wife for me.
Well, it all has sense when getting married traditional way,
when there are big families, natural flow of events predetermines optimal solutions.
Otherwise, it's irresponsible, inshallah with untied camels.
I will better search a wife for me by myself, but for me it's easy because i have some experience and will not loose my mind in front of pretty girl.
For unexperienced youngsters it's much harder. At least there should be some common friends who will recommend or talk out from marriage.
 
That's the attitude I was looking for. See Scimi is getting along fine without a woman!

loool

BTW I thought you had kids? :X or was that someone else.

Many kids, as an uncle... none I can say are my own.

Scimi
 

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