Opposite Gender Concerns

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Danish

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:sl:
I dont think this forum allows polls? Anyway..

Do u look at opposite gender?

I try not to, but sometimes how can u not?? I mean, like when u r out/college/school/work u talk to opposit gender, and hey if they talk to u then u gotta reply...and sometimes u gotta talk to others for various reason, and then it kinda get carried away...but i think islamic way is really good and we should follow it, because it sustains u from other sins like adultery/crush etc

So do u look at opposite gender?
 
Re: Do u look at opposite gender?

:w:

like u, i try not to, but like u have mentioned it's extremely hard, especially since i have male teachers n have 2 look them wheneva they speak or ask me questions n stuff. But on the streets, i try to concentrate on other things rather than the ppl around me, it works sumtimes but other times it doesn't

may Allah (swt) forgive us all amiin

wasalaam :)
 
Re: Do u look at opposite gender?

it's hard ..... especially since many of the girls in my school wear skirts and girls in summer time don't wear that much clothes .....
 
Re: Do u look at opposite gender?

i try not to talk to them,but sometime u just can't stop from talking to the opposite gender.
 
Re: Do u look at opposite gender?

i also try not to look at them...nazar to par he jati hai..
 
Re: Do u look at opposite gender?

I know there is a hadeeth about this but i just cant remember??????

can anyone find the hadeeth about the first glance being 'ok' and the second glance being deadly??

:w:
 
Re: Do u look at opposite gender?

Brothers/ Sister lowering the gaze is part of faith...it's quite serious, read what the Qur'an say's:

"Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and to protect their private parts. That is purer for them. Verily Allah is All-Aware of what they do. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and protect their private parts..." [24:30-31]

Furthermore, Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) said, "...do not let a second look follow the first. The first look is allowed to you but not the second." [Ahmad, Abu Dawood, at-Tirmidhi].

The first look is by accident...but doesn't mean you gaze at the Brother/Sister for time.

Its not easy to lower your gaze specailly in the society. But people take it lightly don't you think?
 
Re: Do u look at opposite gender?

:sl:
True alkhis/ukhtis but its impossible. If u don't make eye contact they thinku r arraogant/unsocial etc...and hey u cant exactly avoiud talking
 
Re: Do u look at opposite gender?

Brother its not impossible subhanallah! It's possible dear brother. Woudl Allah tell us to do something which is impossible?! No of coourse not! The problem lies within us.
We have to rebel against Satan and expel him from our hearts. What kinda of person are we if we can't even lower our gaze?! How does Zina start? It starts first with a look!

Why care what people think?!! Are you pleasing Allah or them?!
 
Re: Do u look at opposite gender?

Were pleasing allah subhana watha allah! well said sister!
I knew i had herd that hadeeth before, jazakallah!

brother nothing is ever impossiable, if you believe in the power of allah subhana watha allah you can lower your gaze, it is possiable :).

may allah help us all to lower our gazes and become pious people inshallah
ameen :)

:w:
 
Re: Do u look at opposite gender?

:sl:

Well I don't go looking at men when walking on the street, I lower my gaze; but when someone is speaking to you sure I look at them not diretly, you can shift your eyes not too quickly lol they'll think there is something wrong with you. :D :p

Thank you sis Janaah, jazaki Allah kouli khier

wasalaam
 
Re: Do u look at opposite gender?

MoonLight said:
:sl:

Well I don't go looking at men when walking on the street, I lower my gaze; but when someone is speaking to you sure I look at them not diretly, you can shift your eyes not too quickly lol they'll think there is something wrong with you. :D :p

Thank you sis Janaah, jazaki Allah kouli khier

wasalaam
Click to expand...

neither do i sis :P
(that was a joke btw - if you dont get it ur probably too young :P)

but the issue raised is important.
i suggest:
if they talk to you then talk to them - sometimes your gonna have to make eye contact - that is why we have eyes - to see :)

it gets harder in college/school/uni cus there is usually a large amount of people (both genders) and its really hard if some of them stare at you. but on the streets etc its OK cus most people arn't interested and just want to get to their destination... unless of course they are weirdos in which case you should run...really fast.
 
Re: Do u look at opposite gender?

:sl:

Lol yeah I get you I'm old enough ;D

Anyhow, well still at uni but I do the same thing.

I guess one has to get used to it; saying there are many who have short skirts or skimpy clothes is just an excuse. You have to have enough will power to stop yourself from looking twice like in the hadeeth sis jannah posted. Mentioning Allah (sunhanu wa ta'ala) always works most appropriate in that situation is istaghfara'Allah.

I call this selective eyesight. :D :p

wasalaam
 
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Re: Do u look at opposite gender?

:sl:

i dont stare :D if i look by mistake then i look down hard when theres men everywhere

i talk if someone talks to me.
 
Re: Do u look at opposite gender?

i dont look, well i try my best not too, but sometimes its tough escpeccialy here in the summer where these **** women dont give a **** about their clothes. it makes me soo mad that i usually stay aat home during hte day and go out only when its after dark unless i absoltlely have too. and i remeber at my old previous islamic school i used to talk only when the girls talked to me first and never used to lookat them in the face. i could tell by the way they talked that they were getting annoyed cuz i wasnt looking at them straight. but i kept my gaze lowered. but its tough. especially for us living in the kuffaric countried like US and Uk.
 
Re: Do u look at opposite gender?

Danish said:
:sl:
I dont think this forum allows polls? Anyway..

Do u look at opposite gender?

I try not to, but sometimes how can u not?? I mean, like when u r out/college/school/work u talk to opposit gender, and hey if they talk to u then u gotta reply...and sometimes u gotta talk to others for various reason, and then it kinda get carried away...but i think islamic way is really good and we should follow it, because it sustains u from other sins like adultery/crush etc

So do u look at opposite gender?
Click to expand...

Wa Alaykum salam,

There are different type of gaze brother Danish, the first glance which the prophet (pbuh) described as being innocent and the glance of lust and affection. As for if I stare at people….I do sin, we are all humans and not immune to sinning but whether my intention of gazing at the opposite sex is for lust or not will be kept a secret for it is between me and my lord. The sins should not be spread for it is something between the creator and creation.
 
Re: Do u look at opposite gender?

:sl:

I usually lower my gaze wherever I go, unless I talk to somebody.. But as time goes you kinda get used to looking away slightly without them thinkin you're weird. :D
 
Re: Do u look at opposite gender?

once u start to lower ur gaze, it becomes a habit and then u have no problem turning ur gaze down when theres that beutiful someone passing in front of you. I remeber reading something about this and it said that if u see a very beutiful women (kaffir obviuosly sisters, no offense meant) spit and repeat so u it becomes easy 4 u to lower ur gaze.
 

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