Opposite Gender Concerns

[Woodrow]

Re: i hav a bf , hw do i break up wit him need help plzzz

salam all
thank u all for ur kind help, first im only 16 n second i fink he wud marry me bt my family wil never let mee, no wayy,!! my parents r into education n no marriage before dat, n da guy is muslim too, im scared cuz i nver done dis before, im kinda of a softy,
anywz i wil try my best cuz i wana do wats rit , insha allah mak dua for me plzz ,to help me choose da rit path n da rit decision

Sister,

You know if you really love somebody you want to do the best you can for that person, even if it costs temprorary pain. Would you not run into a burning building to save him if he was trapped in one. So doesn't it make sense to prevent a fire before it starts, even if it means to hide the matches that light the fire?

Everybody else has already given excellent advice, so I will just stop with that.

 

[Muezzin]

Re: Hijab but kisses

maybe (but unlikely) the guy was her husband? white guys can be muslim too (i know, wow).

The fact that they're in 'school' according to the original poster kind of puts that theory out the window.

 

[Muezzin]

Re: walk home

Look, if you can't get a mahram to escort you, and if you can't get a day class, just ask your family if you're allowed to walk home with this guy. I think some people are getting so dogmatic that they're forgetting that a girl really shouldn't be walking alone at night.

 

[FatimaAsSideqah]

Re: Hijab but kisses

I seek refuge in Allah (The One God) from the Satan (devil) the cursed, the rejected

With the name of ALLAH (swt) -The Bestower Of Unlimited Mercy, The Continously Merciful


Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh (May the peace, mercy and blessings of Allah be upon you)

&&




---what she did is wrong but she must not remove veil. Insha Allah
( God Willing ) she will realise her mistake & won't repeat it.

[*]As a Non-Muslim, who knows a lot about Islam is it my place to make a comment to her about it, or is that to rude? .

---u can talk to her personally & gently pointed out of her mistake without hurting her feeling/ego.


[*]Anything you have that I can tell her which will basically tell her she is completly wrong etc, like no kissing guys, or physically touching them (from quran).[/LIST]Thanks.[/QUOTE]


- in chapter 24 ( sura light ) there is a verse that tells both the believer men & women ( not the exact words ) to lower gaze & protect chastity . There is another verse that says to avoid those acts which can lead to adultery. So , coming close to opposite sex , kissing -----these are surely steps to future immoral acts.


U can give her a book on how to be a goody goody Muslimah

[/QUOTE]



Sister of Islam, I am agreed with what you have said!



Sister of Islam

 

[.:Umniyah:.]

Re: Hijab but kisses

Why didnt u say anything to her..whats the point in wearing the headscarf if u gonna go and kiss people.. silly girl.

Thats the equall of saying, "why be muslim if youre going to sin?" or " why want to live if youre just going to die anyway?". The point of the matter is, Al Hamdulillah this girl is doing what MANY other Muslims cant even dare think about , and thats identifying herself. NOw, rather shes "perfect" with it yet or not, is something different.

So i say give her credit for taking that big step and putting the Hijaab on, because its a major sin on her for everytime she walks out of her house without it. And then make Dua that Allah gives her strength in her weak areas, as we ALL have weak areas.

now as for the original poster, Believe it or not People tend to be more shamed when a person outside of their religion admonish them than someone inside of it. I know it may sound weird but its truth.

So prehaps you should go to her and make mention of it and KINDLY advise her. But at the same time if this was like WEEEEEKs ago or a while ago than i suggest you leave it along, unless it comes up again.

And then of course the invitation to LI idea is a great one.

Let us know if she accepts the invite or not please.

 

[deen_2007]

Re: Hijab but kisses

anon...did you speak to her about it?

 

[Sunni Student]

Re: i hav a bf , hw do i break up wit him need help plzzz

salam all
thank u all for ur kind help, first im only 16 n second i fink he wud marry me bt my family wil never let mee, no wayy,!! my parents r into education n no marriage before dat, n da guy is muslim too, im scared cuz i nver done dis before, im kinda of a softy,
anywz i wil try my best cuz i wana do wats rit , insha allah mak dua for me plzz ,to help me choose da rit path n da rit decision

Sister then you should stop all forms communications untill you are ready for marriage, So talk to this guy and explain the situation to him, that the two of you should not be communicating for some time.

When you are both ready for marriage then he should arrange to approach your family to make a proposal, untill then you must stop, yes it is hard but this is the Islamic way and the way to attain the happiness of your Lord.

 

[deen_2007]

Re: i hav a bf , hw do i break up wit him need help plzzz

^ there are great advices here sister. well if your meant to be together, then u will be re-united when the time comes. follow the above advice..

 

[Angel]

Re: i hav a bf , hw do i break up wit him need help plzzz

woow great advizzz

 

[Pk_#2]

Re: i hav a bf , hw do i break up wit him need help plzzz

Lastly take their advice ^^

*SS, RIGHTEOUS LADY, WOODROW, IBN... etc,

make dua

 

[Kittygyal]

Re: i hav a bf , hw do i break up wit him need help plzzz

salamualikum.

just read you ''tittle'' and it says ''hw do i break up wit him'' well it's easy to break up with a man simply say to him ''I DON'T LOVE YH AND GET OUT OF MA LIFE DO ONE'' then he will goaway but actually it all depends how much he loves you and leaves you, but if he still don't leave yh simply call the cops on him. It happens

Ma'assalama

 

[Angel]

Re: i hav a bf , hw do i break up wit him need help plzzz

sis ur harsh lol:giggling: i wudnt do dat i wud tel him * i lov u wit all my heart n dats why im doing dis cuz wah we r doin is haram n we shudnt be doin dis*

 

[Helena]

Re: i hav a bf , hw do i break up wit him need help plzzz

:salamext:

sis first Alhamdulillah its really good that you wanna make Allah subhanahu wata'ala happy, try your best to realise first and foremost that by trying to keep your bf happy your making Allah, in whos hand is your destiny, unhappy. By making Allah unhappy... things could get ugly! Also if you make him happy, he may give you something far greater then that which you already have.

ok lets think abuot the balance here:

if you keep your bf happy by staying with him you also:
1. make your parents sad ( if they should ever find out)
2. Make your image worser
3. prevent yourself from the true and sincere worship of Allah
4. thus stop yourself from ever truelly making Allah happy

( THIS COULD RESULT IN GOING TO HELL AUDHUBILLAH)

and if you giv up this relation then:

1. Mercy will flow through (trust me i've experienced this)
2. Allah will bestow upon you something much greater (inshaAllah)
3. You will live a honest life
4. Allah will be happy with you

(this could result in going to heaven )


Whats the point of a bf sis, look if its possible marry da geezah (ONLY if his willing to completely change into a true muslim) but if its not, then do that which is best in pleasing Allah inshaAllah

MashAllah very good advice.....all the consequences are shown...

i just want to add a final thing inshAllah...u may not see the result of this now but in future u will see it...and will be truly grateful to Allah(swt)..

everything happens for the best.......and for a reason surely.....

soo make the right move that pleases Allah(swt) and which does not please the satan.....

 

[AnonymousPoster]

need advice/help

:salamext:

scenario:a person gives up somethin very important to him for the sake of Allah n feels sad because he misses the thing (thing it self wasnt haram but the way he had to use it was). he doesnt have anyone to turn to because the people he knows wont be very understanding. he knows that because he gave it up for the sake of Allah, it is to Allah he should turn to and complain only to Allah and seek reward from him. but he finds it hard and he just wants some1 to be there for him to tell him its okay and to remind him that he did the right thing and make him feel better when he is feeling down.

is that okay, or the way he wants attention from humans to make him feel better wrong? should he feel like it is only to Allah that he should be turning for that support? is it wrong for him to complain because he only ever gave up the thing because it would lead to haram, so he had no choice but to give it up. would wanting sympathy from other humans be like having impure intentions?:astagfiru

thanks in advance,

your brother in faith

 

[AnonymousPoster]

Re: need advice/help

salams bro

i kno xactly wat u feel like... personally i think its cool to complain 2 friends n ask em 4 advise.. especially the ones u can really relate to emotionally n stuff (i dont mean 2 sound weird! lol)... just avoid flattering urself and mentioning that you done such and such .... put it in a way where u just want encouragement and as if you need help.. and not necessarily you're a hero who wants praise and flatter.

allahu alam.. but yeh hope that helps

tc

 

[nadia85]

Re: need advice/help

I think if u have good understaning friends u should talk 2 them and also stil turn 2 allah s.w.t

 

[IbnAbdulHakim]

Re: need advice/help

:salamext:

i know this might not help but at times like these i like to look to those who have less then me in dunya and look to those who have more in piety

wallahi it helps so much...

 

[siFilam]

Re: need advice/help

:salamext:

The person should seek support from Allah to keep away from that haram thing. Make lots of Du’a, this shows our dependence on Him. I’m not sure what u mean by complaining to Allah. But the person should understand whatever Allah made Haram for us is for our own good. The person shouldn’t feel bad about leaving this Haram thing; instead thank Allah for giving you the ability to leave the Haram. the person won't regret it in the Day of Judgment.
The person can talk to religious and trustworthy friends in order to encouraged.
Best thing to do is keep the right type of company. If you feel that people won’t understand you or may think bad of you than don’t disclose your situation. Remember that life and death was created by Allah so that He may test us. It may be a test from Him to see how a person reacts about leaving something Haram for His Sake. Only Allah knows. Make Du’a .

Wasalam
-SI-

 

[Snowflake]

Re: need advice/help

Try not to dwell on how enjoyable the haram that you gave up was.
The fact is that the pleasure of haram is torture & punishment of the grave and here-after in DISGUISE. You wouldn't drink something laced with poison, even if it tasted sweet, would you? Then why miss something that feels pleasureable yet is harmful to you?



Instead focus on why you gave up and the benefits it will bring for you in this world and the here-after. You gave it up for Allah, but really, it is yourself that you did a great big favour to. No loss there then - only gain.


As for seeking sympathy from others, what do you want people to say? "Oh I'm sorry you had to give up such & such. I know how much you enjoyed it.. Yeah man I really feel for ya! But nevermind man that's life eh?" Well, islamic life anyway.


Instead of seeking sympathy, seek inspiration from others in how they resist temptation without thinking they've conquered K2. At the end no one's going to reward you for refraining from haram except Allah subhana wa ta'ala. And even that for doing yourself a favour? SubhanAllah!