cottonrainbow
Well-known member
- Messages
- 71
- Reaction score
- 15
- Gender
- Female
- Religion
- Islam
assalamu alaikum!
Whew! well, I would assume that I'm in BIG trouble then....:hiding:
Here's the story (it's pretty long, so please excuse):
My mother has lived with me in my current home for over 6 years. I thought it was a great idea (although friends warned me against it) since my mother (and my niece) was living with my uncle (her brother) because she had no income.
BACKGROUND:
I am the last of four offspring. My mother is divorced and I and my sister (last two offspring of four offspring) are the product of an illicit relationship (my mother and father weren't married when we were conceived), so my father is not in the picture, although I do know him. My brother is currently in prison for drug trafficking which is why he is not in the picture either. When I was fourteen, my brother got this girl pregnant, and she abandoned the baby to my mother two weeks after the baby was born. Since that time, I have helped my mother in raising my niece. Actually, many people in my family have pitched in to help try to give my niece a normal as possible life, since both of her parents weren't really around.
My mother has always raised me to be indepedent and to get an education, but no financial support ever came from her because she never really kept a job. I have always worked since I was 15 years old to help contribute to the household and to help care for my niece. When I turned 18 and graduated from highschool, I wanted to move as far away as possible, so I moved to NYC and went to college there. During this time, I met many Muslims and Hindus who had a very positive effect on my life. At almost 20, I moved back to the South to help my mother because she was struggling healthwise and financially. I did continue with school and worked to help support my mom and niece.
The strange thing about the whole thing is my mother was never happy with ANY guy that I met or introduced to her. She was always very rude to them or gave them the cold shoulder. I got married anyways and had a daughter from that marriage. It didn't work out and I was back single again and raising my daughter on my own (something I did not want). AFter going through soo much with my ex-husband, I actively sought out single Muslim men because I believe that they have more respect for family than the average single American guy. I worked on improving myself and making myself a better person, so that I would be ready when the right guy came along.
About my neice, my mother always accepted financial help for her but she raised the girl to be disrespectful to my sisters and I. Whenever we would discipline her doing wrong, my mother would intervene and say,"oh, she's just a kid."
NOW:
I am happily married to a Muslim man who is pious and he accepted my mother as his mother and my daughter as his daughter. I am currently expecting my second child. My first child is a preteen who is happy to now have a dad and excited about the new baby coming. She is an awesome and disciplined kid and she seems to like the thought of becoming a Muslimah.
HERE's THE PROBLEM:
My mother dislikes my husband (remember we all live together). She is rude to him and says that he is not good enough for me because he went through a period of unemployment and because he is foreign. She nitpicks at him and constantly complains about him. Even when he speaks to her, she does not respond. And we all live in the same house!!
My mother also complains about my daughter. SHe calls her lazy and disrespectful to her. She even once complained to my aunt that I allow my daughter to disrespect her and I believe that is untrue. I would never allow my daughter to disrespect any adult, but I do tell her that she has every right to disagree and stand up for herself if she thinks someone is doing her wrong.
Last year, my niece, whom I had helped get into college and was helping her with clothes and expenses, suddenly moved back into my home and I noticed she wasn't going to classes. I asked my mother and her about the situation
TO BE CONTINUED:
Whew! well, I would assume that I'm in BIG trouble then....:hiding:
Here's the story (it's pretty long, so please excuse):
My mother has lived with me in my current home for over 6 years. I thought it was a great idea (although friends warned me against it) since my mother (and my niece) was living with my uncle (her brother) because she had no income.
BACKGROUND:
I am the last of four offspring. My mother is divorced and I and my sister (last two offspring of four offspring) are the product of an illicit relationship (my mother and father weren't married when we were conceived), so my father is not in the picture, although I do know him. My brother is currently in prison for drug trafficking which is why he is not in the picture either. When I was fourteen, my brother got this girl pregnant, and she abandoned the baby to my mother two weeks after the baby was born. Since that time, I have helped my mother in raising my niece. Actually, many people in my family have pitched in to help try to give my niece a normal as possible life, since both of her parents weren't really around.
My mother has always raised me to be indepedent and to get an education, but no financial support ever came from her because she never really kept a job. I have always worked since I was 15 years old to help contribute to the household and to help care for my niece. When I turned 18 and graduated from highschool, I wanted to move as far away as possible, so I moved to NYC and went to college there. During this time, I met many Muslims and Hindus who had a very positive effect on my life. At almost 20, I moved back to the South to help my mother because she was struggling healthwise and financially. I did continue with school and worked to help support my mom and niece.
The strange thing about the whole thing is my mother was never happy with ANY guy that I met or introduced to her. She was always very rude to them or gave them the cold shoulder. I got married anyways and had a daughter from that marriage. It didn't work out and I was back single again and raising my daughter on my own (something I did not want). AFter going through soo much with my ex-husband, I actively sought out single Muslim men because I believe that they have more respect for family than the average single American guy. I worked on improving myself and making myself a better person, so that I would be ready when the right guy came along.
About my neice, my mother always accepted financial help for her but she raised the girl to be disrespectful to my sisters and I. Whenever we would discipline her doing wrong, my mother would intervene and say,"oh, she's just a kid."
NOW:
I am happily married to a Muslim man who is pious and he accepted my mother as his mother and my daughter as his daughter. I am currently expecting my second child. My first child is a preteen who is happy to now have a dad and excited about the new baby coming. She is an awesome and disciplined kid and she seems to like the thought of becoming a Muslimah.
HERE's THE PROBLEM:
My mother dislikes my husband (remember we all live together). She is rude to him and says that he is not good enough for me because he went through a period of unemployment and because he is foreign. She nitpicks at him and constantly complains about him. Even when he speaks to her, she does not respond. And we all live in the same house!!
My mother also complains about my daughter. SHe calls her lazy and disrespectful to her. She even once complained to my aunt that I allow my daughter to disrespect her and I believe that is untrue. I would never allow my daughter to disrespect any adult, but I do tell her that she has every right to disagree and stand up for herself if she thinks someone is doing her wrong.
Last year, my niece, whom I had helped get into college and was helping her with clothes and expenses, suddenly moved back into my home and I noticed she wasn't going to classes. I asked my mother and her about the situation
TO BE CONTINUED:
